AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Bickety Bam, there ya go.


No one seems to know what to do with my schedule??? Two weeks ago I worked three days, last week I worked every day save sunday and friday, and now I'm only working two days this weeek????

I'm fine with Christianity in general, but when people say Christians are persecuted in America, it really irritates me. Mainly because I know the biggest reason they say that is because their pastor tells them that and they believe it without doing any actual research themselves. Had a friend that said that a lot (keyword: had) and I couldn't seem to convince him otherwise despite the fact that no one was stopping him from going to church, joining the prayer circle in high school, or generally doing anything to stop his daily routines.

I think it's part of the widespread reactionary movement in the US. There's been a lot of noise about "the war on Christmas", separation of church and state being a bad thing, the government not actively enforcing Christianity meaning it's trying to destroy it, the Republicans pushing religious laws and endorsing WASP supremacy, Trump trying to ban other religions, pro-life terrorism that is never referred to as terrorism, etc. There's been a lot of Christian propaganda movies lately too (Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas, War Room, God's Not Dead I and II). War Room's not-so-subtle subtext is outright calling for the government to be overthrown and replaced by a religious state. God's Not Dead wishes death on every non-Christian and asked Christians to force everyone to share their faith. God's Not Dead II says the government will eradicate Christians unless they fight separation of church and state.

Yea, it was someone bringing up the God's Not Dead movies that put it on my mind. It's insane how someone can live in a country where the majority of the people share their beliefs and yet they still think they're being persecuted.

Apparently there's nowhere in this county (possibly several counties around) to dispose of used antifreeze? Someone said the EPA told them to flush it down the toilet, but that sounds really dumb and I'm not doing it without specific instruction from an official.

It's super frustrating also to hear several people, all of whom claim to be experts in the same goddamn thing, disagree so hard about a simple thing like this.

The new position is nice, checking out books and handling returns is simple enough, but I don't like dealing with fees. Helping people out is why I jumped for the promotion in the first place, so having to turn down a family with a knee-high stack of books because the haven't paid a year old twenty dollar fine and shooing them away kinda dampens my spirits.

That and the fact that they've finally got my schedule straightened out, but I'm working half the hours everyone else is until June.

Now that my roommate is going to be moving out in a couple months, I've decided to finally inventory and clean/cover whatever she's misused, now that I know it'll actually be worth the effort and stay repaired/cleaned.

It took me 4 fucking hours to clean a couch cushion that she'd spilled a bunch of shit on over the last year. I never needed to clean this couch when I lived alone, save for vacuuming the dust off of it every couple of weeks.

And I still have one more seat cushion, two back cushions (Although those are 1-sided, making it a bit easier), and the frame upholstery. Many more of my belongings have gotten to similar levels of difficulty or are straight up lost because of her carelessness, which has only gotten worse since she started dating the fuckwit.

As much as I adore her as a friend, I can't fucking wait until she moves out and takes him with her, so that I can be comfortable in my own house, and so I don't have to constantly worry that half my belongings will be ruined whenever I'm gone.

You should probably take a general inventory of anything you own too. I've heard stories from my brother in college about roommates(even nice ones) either accidentally taking something they thought was theirs or jerks simply stealing stuff.

Well she and I will still visit fairly regularly, I just need her to not live in my space where she has constant access to damaging my belongings. So I'm not terribly concerned about her TAKING any of my stuff, just that she's already got a shitty track record of losing it whenever I've let her use it. Shit, I'll probably be bringing her the occasional box of books or stray bathrobe or shoe or whatever she doesn't immediately take with her for the next two months after she moves, haha.

ow, headache
ow, responsibility
ow, thoughts
ow

I need to stop worrying about what people think of me
I need to stop worrying about what people think of me
I need to stop worrying about what people think of me

...except, you know, I'm looking for a job in a field that's all about what your references (and interviewers) think of me.

It's like, I know they don't think as badly of me as my anxiety says they do, but I wish I knew what they were thinking. At least so I can show signs of trying to fix whatever I still need to work on to be ~the best I can be~?


Shit maybe I should just ignore people's opinions of me entirely, become a terrible person because I don't listen to anyone, and then blame the world for all the problems I get whenever I interact with society. /s

My neck and back are hurting, and have been since I got rear-ended on Monday. Occasional headaches.

Yep, probably related.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ridiculously low self-esteem woo!

Sometimes I wish I was a self-confident normie.

Well... Shit.

I stopped for lunch in Hot Springs after making all my deliveries here. I'm about an hour away from the workshop, lab, whatever the hell you want to call it. I have one last stop, and it's almost an hour away from me.

And the god daisies car won't start.

The boss knew the battery was bad already. Now he's on the way out here, making a stop on the way to pick up a new battery.

Oh, and... It's a bit too warm, and the A/C isn't blowing cool air. But at least I can roll the windows down.

Also, I'm paid by the hour.

I also just realized I could have just asked if it was okay to use the company credit card at the nearby auto parts store... Oh, wait, I don't have any tools. Ah, fuck it, I'll just get paid for the extra time.