AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Tam T. (GM): Moth wakes up. For some reason she remembers her friends right now.
But she doesn't care about them because they probably got her involved in this mess.
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: Fair enough.
Tam T. (GM): now to go find a way out of this.
THERE ARE A LOT OF EGGS.
WHAT ARE THEIR SECRETS
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: Can I roll to leave.
I'm rolling to leave.
rolling 1d20
(18) = 18
rolling 1d20
(5) = 5
Tam T. (GM): Moth suddenly forgets what's going on.
Why did she want to leave?
There's eggs now!
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: Fuck that fuck these eggs fuck this shit.
MOTH IS SO FUCKING DONE.
Tam T. (GM): The eggs move closer.
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: MOTH HAS SPENT TWO DECADES ON THIS SHIT.
Tam T. (GM): They want to FEED.
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: MOTH IS GOING TO THROW HERSELF AGAINST THEM AND PROVE HER DOMINANCE.
TWO DECADES OF ACADEMIC FRUSTRATION FUEL HER.
rolling 1d20
(19) = 19
Tam T. (GM): Moth successfully flops against them.
and begins to roll over them.
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: Moth plunges her head into their depths to devour their essence.
Tam T. (GM): Moth is the yolk of the joke
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: MOTH WILL FEED ON HER PREY.
Tam T. (GM): She devours their secrets.
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: AND SHE WILL PUBLISH SEVERAL PAPERS ON THEIR TASTE AND CONSISTENCY.
Tam T. (GM): Moth doesn't want to be fed.
She wants to hunt.
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: MOTH BEGINS TO HUNT.
rolling 1d20
(19) = 19
Tam T. (GM): THERE ARE MORE.
TO THE EAST.
CONSUME THEM WHOLE.
3 REMAIN
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: MOTH CONSUMES THE EGGS.
rolling 1d20
(8) = 8
Tam T. (GM): SHE CONSUMES THEM.
BECAUSE THEY'RE FUCKING EGGS.
Moth feels a bit sick.
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: MOTH HAS REACHED ENLIGHTENMENT. THE SECRET OF EGGS IS THAT THEY ARE FOOD.
Tam T. (GM): that was A LOT of Cholesterol.
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: SHE KNOWS HER CALLING. IT IS TO DEVOUR THE WORLD AND EVERYTHING IN IT.
Tam T. (GM): Moth is delusional to the secret of eggs.
but MAYBE... the secret is in this VERY ROOM.
There seems to be ONE MORE EGG.
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: MOTH IS GOING TO EAT IT.
Tam T. (GM): MOTH SEES IT.
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: MOTH ATTEMPTS TO UNHINGE HER JAW TO SWALLOW IT HALL.
Tam T. (GM): This isn't any ordinary egg.
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: *WHOLE
Tam T. (GM): It's eggcellent.
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: rolling 1d20
(3) = 3
Tam T. (GM): Moth chews the egg.
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: MOTH DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS, BUT IT IS ACCEPTABLE.
Tam T. (GM): she's on edgge.
MOTH BEGINS TO FLOAT IN THE AIR AND GLOW.
SHE HAS DISCOVERED THE SECRET TO EGGS.
SHE HAS TO TELL SOMEONE IMMEDIATELY.
but no one was there...
She ate them all.
Tam T. (GM): SHE ATE THEM ALL
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: Moth is okay with this.
They were delicous.
Tam T. (GM): SHE ATE ALL THE PEOPLE SHE COULD HAVE TOLD ABOUT THE EGGS.
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: THEY DESERVED IT FOR BEING SO DELICOUS.
Tam T. (GM): AND SHE'S BEGINNING TO FORGET THE SECRET TO EGGS.
ALL THAT WORK
AND IT'S SLIPPING AWAY.
Prof. Lucrèce Faberge: MOTH ATTEMPTS TO CONSUME HERSELF TO GAIN HER OWN KNOWLEDGE.
rolling 1d20
(18) = 18
Tam T. (GM): THERE ARE NO MORE EGGS.
Moth disappears out of the dream world.
Moth is fucking gone.
Tate Verstand: rip
Tam T. (GM): Darkrai appears out of the ground.
"..."
"???"
he sinks back into the ground and disappears.

Tam T. (GM): Jez finds herself in a field of flowers.
She doesn't know how she got here after falling off Cianwood cliff, but hey, she's alive!
Jezebel: Jez looks around. "Huh... where is everyone?"
Tam T. (GM): Yay! Flowers!
Maybe your friends are picking flowers somewhere else!
you see a BIG CACTUS
giving a BIG HUG to your BEST FRIENDS
THEY'RE BLEEDING OUT
Jezebel: Jez starts freaking out. "Guys, wait, don't hug that!"
Tam T. (GM): Jez can maybe help them? Because FRIENDS?
???
Jezebel: Jez runs up to the CACTUS, but is intimidated by its size.
Tam T. (GM): It seems her BEST PARENTS are ALSO HUGGING the BIG CACTUS.
THEY SEEM TO HAVE BEEN HUGGING FOR A REALLY LONG TIME.
Jezebel: "Mom... dad...?" She starts tearing up at the sight of them again.
Tam T. (GM): some other potential friends are beginning to approach from the distance.
also the flowers are wilting away.
and the soil is whipping around into sand.
Jez now is SURROUNDED by FRIENDS (Maractus).
but they seem kinda POINTY.
Jezebel: NOT FRIENDS. NOT FRIENDS.
Tam T. (GM): and one of them doesn't seem QUITE SO FRIENDLY.
they don't like how INHOSPITABLE Jez is being.
and decide to... FRIENDSHIP TOTEM?
NOW THEY'RE LIKE 3 TIMES AS POWERFUL.
AND THE SKY TURNS DARK.
AND LIKE, LIGHTNINGY.
Tam T. (GM): Also their eyes turn red and the friendship totem BEGINS TO BLEED>
Jezebel: Jez tries to kick the bottom one out.
Tam T. (GM): Jez's foot is embedded in the cactus.
the thorns stick out of her shoe through her foot.
blood is seeping out.
She's still stuck to it.
The Maractus friendship totem swipes at Jez.
the thorns catch in her side and rip her foot free! Yay!
Tam T. (GM): but now she's got needles in her side! Not yay!
Jezebel: Jez tries to pull herself free. No hugs, please!
rolling d20
(1)
= 1
Tam T. (GM): Jez hugs the Cactus to try to get free. Hugs always help!
EXCEPT HER FACE IS NOW STUCK IN THE NEEDLES.
SHE'S TRAPPED.
Jezebel: "Okay... okay guys, we can be friends, but from a distance, please!"
Roll for convincing
rolling d20
(19)=19
Tam T. (GM): The friendship totem realizes you are probably concerned about giving them COOTIES.
and decide to peel you off and put you down carefully.
you're a bit more torn up because of the "carefully" with "thorny hands" part.
They're still not friends with you though.
Jez is in a lot of pain.
and her friends aren't being hugged THE RIGHT WAY.
Jezebel: Jez tries to ignore the pain, but it's a bit hard to ignore your entire body bleeding.
Still, she gives a thumbs up to the friendship totem.
Tam T. (GM): The friendship totem looks at you quizzically.
and begins to CHEER!
it's doing a rain dance!
Jez feels the rain falling.
It's falling a bit hard.
And she doesn't have an umbrella.
Tam T. (GM): AND IT'S NEEDLES!
Jezebel: She takes cover under the big cactus. Carefully.
Tam T. (GM): Jez is safe!
but her FRIENDS aren't.
Also the friendship totem doesn't appreciate your hate of their REFRESHING GIFT.
it begins to DANCE around AGAIN.
This is MAYBE NOT IDEAL.
MAYBE
Jezebel: Jez, from under the cactus, tries to dance with them.
Tam T. (GM): You successfully dance.
They dance harder. They don't appreciate CULTURAL APPROPRIATION.
Jezebel: "Oh god, I'm going to die here."
"Dying the same way my parents did!"
Tam T. (GM): The Maractus enjoy your pain and use it to FRIENDSHIP TOTEM BETTER.
There's a new friend!
The contract is SEALED!
Jezebel: Jez starts to panic, and runs out to try to pull her friends out.
Tam T. (GM): Jez isn't STRONG ENOUGH to pull her friends off at the same time.
She would be OVERENCUMBERED.
OVER... CUCUMBERED?
Cucumber salad sounds REALLY GOOD right now...
Jezebel: She tries to cut the cactus in half with her hand, somehow.
rolling d20
(18)= 18
Tam T. (GM): She FRIENDSHIP SLASHES THE CACTUS.
AND IT'S DOWN.
NOW SHE CAN DRAG IT.
Jezebel: She thinks real quick, and impales her arm into the cactus so she can try to drag it.
rolling d20
(2)= 2
Tam T. (GM): Jez misses and doesn't impale her hand!
Now she's MAD that it didn't work!
The Friendship totem is continuing to dance into a frenzy.
Jezebel: Jez, annoyed at her life, tries to pick up the cactus and smash it into the totem instead.
Tam T. (GM): Jez slams the CACTUS into the FRIENDSHIP TOTEM.
sending them into the SUN!
Suddenly the SUN grows a FACE!
and NEEDLES
it begins to shoot out GIANT NEEDLES at Jez.
they're as big as TREES!]
Tam T. (GM): The sun begins to dance in the sky!
What will Jez do?
Jezebel: She stares down one of the needles, and lines up to whack the needle back at the sun with the cactus.
rolling d20
(19)= 19
Tam T. (GM): The needle flies straight at Jez.
but she's ready for it.
and punches it.
right on the tip.
the punch creates a SONIC BOOM
and creates a VACUUM PRESSURE EFFECT.
AND BECAUSE SHE DID A HALF-PRESSED A AT THE RIGHT TIME, THE INFINITE TIMELINES OF THIS DREAM COMBINE INTO ONE.
INTO THIS MOMENT.
THE NEEDLE FLIES BACK INTO THE SKY.
TO THE FRIENDSHIP SUN TOTEM OMEGA GAMMA ALPHA PHI SORORITY.
The NEEDLE PIERCES THE SHELL OF FRIENDSHIP
AND THE SUN OF FRIENDSHIP BURSTS.
Tam T. (GM): KILLING MILLIONS.
countless needles rain down all around Jez.
but none touch her or her FRIENDS.
except wait, where are her friends?
The dream POPS
and Jez realizes she's awake from the nightmare.
Jezebel: Jez feels pretty good about herself right about now.
but her FRIENDS must be in danger in these dreams too.

CLOOOOOOOOOOOOWNS

I SMELL THEM. THEY ARE NEAR. CLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

shhhhh, we promised never to speak of that after we broke up

sometimes i still hear the honking in the night