AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Yeah actually, I probably am a lightweight. I'm out with friends and I had a glass of Angry Orchard/Guiness and I was a little tipsy there for a bit.

Had like, a bunch of beer, and a bunch of hard liquor, I lost count at some point. Its dawn on December 2nd, 7:30 AM. Took the bus home, people going to work. I'm rambling home like some useless drunk sack of shit. Watching people go about their regular lives. That will never be me. There will be no children, no grandchildren, just me and my meaningless drawings, until Death comes like an old friend. I watch as the world simply occurs around me. I'm pretty sure I've seen the father I've never met around the city. I will return to the empty place from wence I came...

My birthday so fuck it.

I make terrible Gin & Tonics.

Wine all the way.

Gin and tonic is my favorite easy drink.

gin is my favorite thing.

If you like melony flavored things, you can try a gin and tonic with a bit of Midori in it. Sweetens it up a bit, gives it some melony flavor and makes it a nice shade of green. I make these for my sister because she is a wuss.

I will do this. Because of green melons.

AHAHAHA fucking hell, I have never been both sad drunk and "I LOVE YOU, MAN" drunk at the same time before. It's a weird juxtaposition, and I am absurdly grateful that my friends are tolerant of me taking a second for my judgment to catch up to what I said.

Why does death never come? I just want all of this to be over... Maybe in the abyss I'll finally feel content

Greetings from my first time being tipsy, this is weird and I am making a lot of typos

Thats it my friend. Embrace the cool waters of oblivion.

HEY LOOK I'M DOING SHOTS

HEY LOOK I'm doing that thing i do when i drink where i doubt my entire existence


hey look it's about sexuality and such
hey look i dk where to put this because im drunk and its also lgbtw related

so imdrunk and DREAL WITH IT

LOOK im sober enough to spielr tag it so if you dont want to bread about cravings for body aprts just slips ahead

WHILE SOBER:
confidently bi. crushes on amny girls but im garbage so i dont actualyl talk to anyone

while drunk:
confidently entirely super fucking gay holy shit put some rum in me and i just want to do many things with cock
like, WOW
HOLY SHIT
WANTING IT BAD
its a shame im so slefdefeating i can never EVER BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE FOR A SATISFACTORY LENGTH OF TIME WITHOUT HATING MYSELF AND CONVINGINT MYSELF IM LYING TO MYSELF AND TO PARTNER
GAY OR BI OR STRAIGHT OR OTHER OR WHATEVER I JUST... FUCK. EXZEPT I DONT ACTUALLY DO THAT PART BECAUSE I END UP CONTEMPLATING SUI IDE AND OTHER SUCH WONDERFUL SEKFLETEAING THINGS BEFORE I CAN GET TO TAT POINT BECAUSE IDK BUT FOR SOMET REASON MY SUBCONSCIOUS SAYS "HEY, YOU! OVER THERE! THE ONE WHO CAN HEAR MY VOICE - YOU'RE HARBAGE AND YOUR EXISTENCE IS A DISGRACE AND ALSO NOBODY CAN LOVE YOU GOOD JOB NOT DYING SO FAR"

i forget what i was ranting about but i took a few shots abter stating typing it

i drink because it quells the raiging self-loathing slightly and numbs me tmeporaligy while i watchi other pop flyin' people doing things on y outube

here's an excert
"Jeremy Corbin's hobby is taking phosts of manhole covers"
"that's reall close to my hobby, which ist taking photos of man holes"

anus joke

gj jimmy carr

i really hate everyhing about muself but at the same time i will do ntohing within my power to change a daisies thing

Slow down, friend.

yo uknow how when you are a kid and thge universe hates you
yoy find solace in "well, when i get to high school everything is going to change! i'll meet like-mindinged people and ill be pop flyin'"

and then when you get to high school you're like "well, when i get to college evthing is going to change! i'll meet like minded people nd ill be happ!"

and then you get to college and it's "well fuck, uit turns out it's just impossible for anything or anybdy to like me, maybe i'll try making friend sonline"

and then you try and make frienda online and it turns out you're just generally unpleasant to experience and you might as well just... go. just piss off to the trash heap and die

did i mention that for a year or so my best friend and i took turns being "the rock" for the other one when we were considering suicide

good times

pop flyin': you get to cry and talk your friend out of ending themselves
sad: you get to cry and try and convince your friend that there is an easi way out

we swapped placeds like every to weeks

great minds attract or something, idk
she has a boyfriend who she wants to get married to and i have myself and my dog to try and hug while he tries to get away from me so i guess that;s fair

i mean this isn;'t a friendszoned thing at all: zero sexual attraction, we grew up together
i guess i jist jhas some companionship in my self-loathing emptiness in her
sometime sshe gets down and i feel some weird sense of joy in knowing that we're back to being equally hating ourselves even though i know its bad

I decided to get drunk tonight bnsof far I told one of my friends that I think she's pretty and I was talking to my sister about one of my friends going to Haiti for a missionary trip and o said "haha whys she go to Haiti, there's no god there they're all dying" and I don't know shit about Haiti and if they're actually dying or not but I thought that was funny.