AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I'M SORRY I WAS MAKING A JOKE NO ONE ACTUALLY CALLS ME THAT

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! LOOK WHAT YOU DID!

Huh. That sounds neat. Now I have a more specific term for the next rare conversation I end up in about appearances.

It's too late now. You might as well go with it.

I sleep with my eyes open. Not sure why it happens, but it's annoying because my eyes are always dry when I wake up.

Also, ever since I had hand, foot, and mouth disease the other week, I've been reluctant to scratch any itch on my face, as that is how I found the first lesions I had. Skin came off, and that spot felt like it was on fire.

I've been told that I either always look:
Tired
Angry
Or sad

All of the time.

People will come in to the store and be like "Heyy, just starting your shift?"
"??? No? Been here for like four hours???"
"Oh. You look like you just woke up."
"This is just what my face looks like. Thanks."

"Whoa, you okay?"
"? Yeah, why?"
"You look really rustled off."
"This is just what my face looks like. Thanks."

"Oh man, are you alright? Do you need a hug?"
"...? No? Why? Who are you even?"
"Oh. You just look... really sad."
"This is just what my face looks like. Thanks."

That's my go-to response when someone comments on how I look. They feel terrible for commenting 95% of the time.

Also one day someone told me I "look evil".

That's me, Satan's envoy here on Earth, selling you high-calorie bullshit. *thumbs up* Please come again!


That sounds SUPER COOL.
pics pls

You ain't not gon' get no accuracy in hair color from this tablet camera.

I don't show up on camera, anyway.




One time, someone yelled at my youngest sister and called her rude names. That made me mad, and this person shoved a bible in my face-- NO EXAGGERATION-- and said "you need to get the devil out of your body! I see Satan in your eyes!"

Mom slapped him and threw his bible because she was sick of him using God as ammunition. We never saw that person again.

I generally buy a bunch of things for myself around Christmas because it's the only time I usually have cheddar around when it comes time to buy things.

I feel like Im just waiting for something horrible to happen to me and finally push me over the edge to where suicide no longer feels worse than living. I'm not even really afraid of death, what I'm really afraid of is dying, and feeling myself grow unable to breathe with every painful clench and spasm of my body. I think about killing myself all the time, but I dont know if its the same as actually being suicidal, or just an idle mind trying to keep itself from collapsing under its own misery. Then I feel guilty because it feels like I'm not appreciating all I have enough, because so many people have it so much worse, but it doesnt make me feel any better

So I want to add an event that happened to the resting "Uuuugh!" face thing.

Mom was talking to the person who gave us Loki (the kitten) and they were talking and I wasn't paying much attention. Well, I think they started talking about how hyperactive and 'annoying' he is and the original owner looked over at me and said "she looks like she knows what I was going through, too!"

I was thinking about pop flyin' conversations I had over Skype at the time. She wouldn't give me time to formulate a respond to that and started talking to Mom again.

So another case of my face being completely misinterpreted.

It's happened a few times to me as well. A few weeks ago I was delivering exams on campus as part of my job and a random guy stopped and asked me if I was feeling okay and said I looked depressed. I do have mild depression, but I've been fine lately and was feeling especially great that day because it was payday, so I don't know why he thought I looked that way.

I drink because its the only way I know to get my brain to shut up and leave me alone for a while.

I saw that movie Ghost as a child when it hit theaters. We also had the soundtrack on cassette.

The shadow spirits that show up in the movie still scare me a bit. I was reminded about them in a dream I just had a little while ago, since they resemble descriptions of shadow people, which featured prominently at the end of my dream.

It's times like this that make me really hate not having someone to share my bed.

The first scary movie I saw (as a kid) was Final Destination 2. It made me crazy paranoid about everything for years.

While I didn't see the whole movie I once walked into saw 3(?) After returning from the bathroom at a theater. I froze for like 10 minutes.

Whenever I am in a public space, I'm irrationally afraid that someone will just know what I'm thinking. I know their (probably) aren't any psychic people just roaming around Walmart, but, juuuust in case, I make all my thoughts annoying and narcissistic so mind readers feel like they're wasting their time.




Also, I can whistle while eating crackers.

That reminds me of this XKCD comic.