AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Didn't do it. I think I got over the whole try for the perfect moment thing, because that would never happen, but then I thought that I'm busy and don't have a car and can't get anywhere and god what the hell does dating even entail I don't know. Of course now I'm wondering if this is my subconcious way of bitching out while saying I'm confident or if I actually think I would be too busy and blegh.

I decided to man up and talk to a girl I thought was cute. Ended up getting her number, but I'm pretty sure she just gave it to me to not be rude because she only responded like twice. Oh well though, at least I tried, and I didn't spam her with "pls respond" cringey type stuff so I'm glad I didn't come off as a creep at least.

Ya win some, ya lose some. I'm really not even wanting to date anyone right now anyway. Mostly just did it because my roommate pokes fun at me because I don't talk to girls much.

one of the stranger things Sailor Moon does is not handle negative emotions well

like the way she reacts is like her body is rejecting being mad, but not like, in an anger problems kind of way

she has it in her head that she has to be nice and perky and cute 100% of the time, and always beats herself up if someone sees her be annoyed/sad/mad/cant help someone with something for whatever reason

just a few minutes ago she was getting ready for work and she was kind of rushing and getting annoyed because she had to rush and she couldnt find her sunglasses so i heard this from the other room:


"okay where the FUCK are my FUCKING SUNGLASSES" said in a way like she was blaming every piece of furniture in the room on her inability to find her sunglasses

she also apologies frequently for just being annoyed and acting appropriately despite the fact that i have told her again and again that she does not have to apologize for reacting like a normal human would to situations

I broke up with Noffletoff, so I'm going to be avoiding the forums for a long time. I'm sorry. Bye AZ.

Noooooooooooo

I'm sorry, Angelic! :C

Good luck. Hope you do alright.

Ah, sorry to hear. :c I'm sure it wasn't done for a bad reason. You don't have to leave!

Speaking of forum relationships ending... Kamak and I aren't together anymore, either. *shrug* No hard feelings on either side, we're still friends.

So someone who came into the store called me cute.

*Internal Screaming*

Well, there just remains one question

are you cute?

I might have told someone I was interested in them. Fairly sure it at least came across I was trying to get their number so it shouldn't take too many logical leaps to figure it out.

I sort of panicked once I moved onto the part of telling them, which was sort of my plan. All my preplanned ideas sounded crappy. I know I said it, not sure if she understood it because I had to go right after, didn't stay to gauge response. But I think it got across, probably a no, but at least I tried, got it out there. Waiting until tomorrow, but I can move onto something else now if it's what I expect.

Hello everyone! It's your old pal Music. Now before I do what I came here to do I would like to explain a little. So I have this...rant. This idea I have been forming in my head for a little while now. I've discussed parts of it with different people when the subject comes up. I didn't know which thread to post this in. And I don't think any of them exactly fit. But hey here goes.
Now before I start this i would like to explain that I am merely trying to express thoughts into a medium that will help me fortify my thoughts into a solid belief. With possible reviews or counter arguments. I am not in any way trying to talk shit to anyone who's lifestyle or choices conflict with what I am about to say. I dont judge or discriminate, we're all beautiful

Casual Sex/ Hookups/ Fuck-buddys etc.

So the best place to start this I suppose is to reflect on a recent experience I had. I have a female freind that I met through m y current girlfriend. She is "sexually inexperienced". She is not a virgin but still she does'nt have any prowess or know how of what to do in the bedroom. Me and Sailor Moon have great sex, and as my friend was explaining this to Sailor Moon, EVA-01 lightly proposed that our friend could maybe watch us be intimate at sometime. Sailor Moon approached me with this idea that I was on the fence about. I really did'nt know if I was okay with it or not. I told EVA-01 it was'nt a no, but not a yes. EVA-01 told her friend, and when they talked aabout. The idea was brought up that our friend could join us. As a "learning experience" for her. EVA-01 and I would instruct her on what and how to do things by example. EVA-01's friend was down. So EVA-01 excitedly explains this to me, thinking that it would sway me into a yes. Because, what guy wouldn't want to fuck two hot bitches right? This guy. I told EVA-01 hell no.

You see, I believe that sex is something that is incredibly intimate. No matter how casual it is, no matter how small of a deal it is. It's still a big deal. Think about it. You are as vulnerable as you could possibly be (bodaciously naked), doing he most intimate thing you can do with another human being (you're bodaciously inside of them). To tell me that there is no connection there, is baffling to me. I believe that when you have sex, you give a person part of yourself. Because of how deep of a thing it is. And if you are casually and carelessly giving random people these pieces of yourself, you are throwing those pieces away. And WHY would you want to throw these pieces of yourself away just for an orgasm?
Okay lets retract my previous statement for this part of the arguement. Assume I said nothing about pieces. Isn't there still better things you could be doing with yourself? I mean I didnt always know that I felt this way about sex. I had a few hookups in my life, and all of them had me feeling empty afterwards. Sure it felt great during the moment. But afterwards I would always think about how I didnt feel any different. Casual sex doesnt have any mid-long term positive effects. You are the same before as you are after. So I always thought about how I could've just...not...done...that. Why is sex such a big deal? Does it boost confidence? So does going to the gym or learning a new language. Does it feel good? So does masturbation. IS an orgasm such a big deal that you have to go out of your way to turn another person into nothing but a hole for your dick? Which brings me to my next point.
So if you are having casual sex, that means you dont care about one of two things. 1.The person 2.The sex. If you dont care about the person, that is absolutely disgusting to me. That is another human being there. With family, friends, fears, dreams, hopes. And you're turning them into nothing more than a vessel for an orgasm. HOw you can not care about a person, and think that you have the right use that persons body parts for your own selfish needs, Is no different than fucking slavery. Or human trafficking, or pimping, or cutting out someones kidney to sell it on the black market. Think about it. All of these things involve taking people, and turning them into/ using a piece of them as something that you can use for your own selfish needs with no regard for that person while doing so. And if its the sex you dont care about....then whats the POINT?! Okay so my group is about 8 people big. Two of my friends that I have known for years randomly hooked up out of nowhere. And havent done anything at all since. I guess they were both just horny right? But what is the point of doing something that deeply intimate, with someone you care about, only to have a orgasm? Why do you have to breach that platonic barrier just for a moment? Only to immediately put that barrier back up and never approach things again. IS sex really worth the orgasm is what I'm asking. You can make yourself have an orgasm. If the sex is SO meaningless that you dont care about it. Then what is the point in having it in the first place?
I'm not really sure how to Segway into my final point. But basically, its the worst part of casual sex in my opinion. Its allowing yourself to be used. As said previously if you don't care about the sex/ or the person. In someway you are using that person. Now, if you know that a person has no care for you, and is only there to use you to fill their own selfish needs. How can you let the person use you, and still claim you have self respect? If you say "I don't care if people use me" how can you then say "But I care about myself". I will admit, some of this point stems from jealousy. Call it sexist or inaccurate, but women have so much more sexual power than men. I saw two videos the other day. One where a man walked up to 100 random women, and asked if they wanted to have sex. And vice-versa. The man got a yes 2/100 times (one of the women was a prostitute) The women got a yes 88/100 times. Most men are so blatantly willing to let themselves be used by women for the purpose of having an orgasm. That it had come to the point that women take advantage of men now. Probably more than men take advantage of women. I still know more women that dont hav sex than men. More women don't have sex than men, meaning the women that do have sex caually can have it whenever and with whoever they want. Why let yourself be used like this? The reason I said no to a three-way (something I NEVER thought I would do) is for this fact. This girl didnt just want to use me to have fun, she wanted to learn from me. I was a tool in here eyes that she could use to her advantage. She didn't want to have sex with me because she thought it would feel good, she wanted to fuck me and get it over with so she could move onto the next fella with more knowledge. I was just a stepping stone to her, an experiment, and how can I allow myself to be that for her. Just because it would be really fucking hot. I wouldnt walk away a better person from it, I wouldnt gain anything postitve from it.

Anyways, that my rant. Doubt anyone will read it all the way through, but I need it out there. THanks.

I can understand where you are coming from, polyamory isn't everyone's bag and can be uncomfortable if both sides don't agree. What's important is that you need to sit down with both of them and make your opinion solid and heard and see where things go from there. That or you could try it and see how things go. One point of contention I have is that you see this friend as someone trying to use you, but it sounds more like she wants you and your girlfriend to teach her. That's okay and is probably because she trusts both of you, which is important. Also, if she wants to try this and just move on, that's her prerogative. You shouldn't hold it against other people for having different life choices than you but you should maturely tell them how you feel. A relationship is a two way street, you both need to come to an understand about this situation pronto, less something happens and feelings get hurt. Communication is key, and if you feel against this put it out there and see what happens. They might agree and nothing happens, they might disagree and go on their own, or they might even convince you otherwise. Whatever happens, its their life and their choices and they reserve to be able to do what they want, all you can do is try to argue your point as you are entitled to your views and choices as well. You might be okay with what happens, you might not, but that's life. You're not gonna make the drive onto the fairway every time, and you gotta learn and know how to roll with it when you get into the rough.

Note that none of this is meant to convince you one way or the other on the subject, and also isn't meant to pick on you-- these are just things to consider: How meaningful is the concept of a "relationship?" What's the difference between a relationship and something that's "just" a friendship? Is it sex? Is sex so meaningful that simply adding it to a friendship suddenly makes it more important than other types of relationship? Does any friendship that involves sex or sexual activity automatically become a romantic relationship in theory? What if two people elect not to have sex? Is their relationship more, or less, meaningful than the relationship of another couple?

By definition, polyamory and open relationships require all persons involved to be comfortable, informed, and to openly communicate exactly how they feel about what's happening, and why. No one can make you do anything you don't want to, but by the same token, if this is something your friend wants, or something your girlfriend wants, nothing from your end is going to change that. They may refrain from engaging in their wants out of consideration for your feelings, but the desire itself isn't necessarily going to go away.

Sex only means as much, or is worth as much, as you choose to make it, in either direction. For some people, sex and its rarity or intimacy are an integral part of their self worth; for others, it's not. Neither point of view is inherently correct. Everyone bases their self image, self worth, and emotional wellbeing on different things. The idea of monogamous sex is highly symbolic and a lot of weight is placed on it by a lot of people, which is fine, but not a necessarily a truth of the universe. Consider exactly why sex means so much to you, and why sex sans relationship made you feel empty. Was there something more you wanted from those encounters? Did it feel validating, or invalidating? Did it make you feel more, or less, comfortable as a member of your gender and what that may or may not mean to you? Was there too much communication, or not enough? Were you using sex to seek a relationship, and then disappointed when one wasn't cemented, or was it the other way around?

Exactly how does the idea of having a three-person encounter make you feel? Scared? Angry? Possessive? Nervous? Why does it make you feel that way, and what, if any, long term effects do you foresee if you agree? Sex by itself means very little; the question is, if this is something you choose to pursue or allow, how much is it going to mean for you, and do you think that if you agree, it's going to somehow weaken your relationship? Even if it isn't, is it something you're interested in? Are you worried you might accidentally give this friend an inaccurate idea of what intimacy is like, or otherwise influence their view of themselves in the world in a way you aren't prepared to do? These are all important questions that only you can answer.

1. To me, a romantic relationship is two people saying "What we have is different than anything you and I have from other people". Having sex with other people doesn't mean you are in a romantic relationship. But it means you have romantic involvement with each-other. How you can say "What you and I have is special yet I will not treat [our relationship] any differently than I would treat what I have with other people" is contradictory. How can you claim to be special, yet not have anything different that separates what you have from what others have. I would have to say that sex adds a depth to the relationship that will never be there without it. You can be just as pop flyin', close, and in love without sex. But sex just adds to the intimacy of a relationship in a way that nothing else can.
2. It felt empty sans relationship because it felt pointless. I couldv'e just not done that and yet still be who I am. So then what did I give of myself in exchange for this thing that had no effects on who I am as a person. Get me?
3. It made me feel disgusted. I felt like I was asked to become something I don't want to be. Someone that just uses people for his selfish needs simply because the experience seems alluring. Just the thought of being that selfish makes me feel sick.



I can see that point. If a person is thirsty, asking you for water shouldn't feel like this person is just using you for your liquids. However, that's not how I see it.
Imagine if Mountain Dew is your favorite drink, you hold mountain dew over most other things in life. And you only have a limited amount to drink over your life. And only you know how to make YOUR mountain dew. But your mountain dew is INCREDIBLE, and you love giving some to people you hold dear. Because you love how pop flyin' it makes them feel to drink it. Now imagine if someone who has tasted other mountain dew before, can and has gotten other mountain dew from other people, and isn't thirsty, asks you for some of yours because she wants your recipe. With no plans on giving you anything in return expect for their satisfaction, and then they leave right away after drinking and learning your recipe to spread it with people. Sure you can feel good knowing you're making this person life better. But at the cost of sharing your limited mountain dew, with nothing in return, it would be PRETTY hard to feel like you weren't just used for your mountain dew. Instead of feeling like you shared something special with the person.

The reason I felt like she wanted to use me, is because she wanted nothing more than just to learn from me. She didnt want to share a fun experience with me, she did'nt want to make me feel good, she didnt even care if she felt good. She just wanted to learn some tricks. At the expense of me giving her a piece of herself that she cares nothing for.

That all being said. Thank you guys for your advice. Its really appreciated.