AWKWARD ZOMBIE

The hotel where my mother works played host today to a deadbeat cop-killer playing one-man army against a county's worth of police officers. From what I've heard, the deputy who was shot, which is what started this whole circus, was a former retiree who was re-hired to serve warrants and summons and the like. After issuing one such warrant to some cockless shithead this morning, the cockless shithead waited until the deputy was walking away, then shot him multiple times in the back. Then he fled and, for some reason that is not yet clear, he holed up in a room of a Comfort Suites a few miles away. Mom was just on her way into work when this was going down so she didn't end up in the middle of it. Cops had a half-mile of the highway barricaded and all I could see outside the hotel was flashing lights. Eventually Dogfucker McNoballs came out of the room holding his gun and the cops shot and arrested him, but he ended up dying fairly quickly of his injuries. The cop he shot passed away a couple hours ago.

Update: Mom went in for a late meeting and learned pretty much exactly everything that happened at the hotel today. Most of it is supposed to be confidential so I can't share a bunch of it, but I will say that one of the housekeepers actually went into early labor because the guy pointed his gun at her when he entered the hotel.

Fucking Florida.

In all seriousness, I'm glad your mother is unharmed! I would be terrified if I heard a psycho with a gun was even near the school my mom works at.

Any word on the person who went into labor? I hope the baby was okay. :c

Poor choice of words on Mom's part. Apparently the woman, who is due in a month, started going into labor, dilating and everything, but I guess the process can be stopped or maybe it didn't really start or I'm this close to revealing I know fuck-all about pregnancy. She was taken to the hospital, she's at home now and won't be working until she's due.

John Boehner to resign as Speaker of the House at the end of October.

Source

I don't know much about the guy, but I think he's lying about the pronunciation of his last name. It looks (to me) like it'd be pronounced "boner".

Funny thing, I can't remember much of what he's done in the past, but some of it didn't seem like it was good.

What a word looks like it would sound like and what it really sounds like are two different things.

Amazingly enough, things are pronounced differently in different languages.

no i'm pretty sure it's "boner" too

like has anyone ever actually said "bahy-ner" other than him

the answer is probably sure but who gives a shit "boner" is funnier

It's pronounced BAY-ner, there is no changing that

But yes he has made quite a boner today by suddenly resigning like that

So with the discussion about politics and boners aside, apparently NASA called for an important press release on the subject of Mars?

Either life or running water, according to the rampant speculation.

I prefer to think the face winked.

There's a load of geologists hosting the press release, so more evidence for water seems more likely.

More advertisement for the new movie The Martian, I guess.

Probably not. It's just the press always hyping up anything revolving around Mars.
The call for the press release is fairly low key. It's the press making it sound like it's something exciting for the common bloke.

No, no, I was making a joke about the coincidence of this discovery so close to the release of a movie about a man who is stranded on Mars and must find a way to use water and grow food to survive