AWKWARD ZOMBIE

You know what's fun? Using Drow Elves to seduce party members. Or Werewolves. Or any sexy crazy monsters.

I am not a nice DM.

In yesterday's adventure, the dwarf paladin fumbled and lost her flail and then proceeded to punch a displacer beast pack lord to death.

Man, druids are hilariously OP at lower levels. I was hitting with 3 +3 attacks for 2d4+4, 1d8+2 and 1d6+2 damage at lvl 1.

Are you using the animal forms' multiattacks? Also, 5E?

Pathfinder, Elephant companion (which isn't even the most powerful one, I just thought it'd be funny to have an elephant trodding along).

You can have an elephant companion at level one? Sweet Mystra.

I assume it's supposed to be a baby/young elephant since it's only medium sized. I'm planning to get it decked out in full plate eventually for bonus cool.

Watch out for blond elves wielding longbows.

My swashbuckler was killed by a Gargantuan mummified crocodile.

Crocodiles have grab on their bite attacks. They also have the death roll ability, which lets them do extra damage if they happen to grab someone with their bite. The mummified creature template grants an ability called something like death's vengeance, where they get two rounds of haste per day (I guess because they hate living creatures that much).

So, I was bitten, grabbed, death rolled, then haste-attack bitten, grabbed, and death rolled. Also, when a mummified creature kills you, you dissolve into dried up powder because mummies. Since I was powdered, they weren't able to res me in the dungeon, so I had to sit out the final boss fight. I had an NPC to run during the fight but I did still miss the XP so I'm now a level behind everyone.

I don't mind, though. If you're going to die, getting thrashed by a crocodile the size of a monster truck is a pretty metal way to go.

Has anyone else actually read the original Tomb of Horrors module? I spent last weekend studying it and trying to imagine a party going through the dungeon. I learned two things.

1) I have to find a way to adapt this to 5th Edition so I can torture my party.

2) Gygax was a fucking SADIST.

It's not just the rampant methods of playercide, it's all the little shit like puzzles that damage you if you don't stumble blindly onto the correct solution, treasure that disappears if you touch it or becomes much less valuable after you leave, and I think there are three different situations where a player can get teleported back to the entrance naked with all their gear reappearing in Acererak's room.

I have actually. Good ol' Sphere of Annihilation.

What's hilarious is that the Sphere of Annihilation is only the most obvious of all the traps.

I've started playing dnd again with my wife and friend. I play a extremely greedy halfling rogue who has like 21 to stealth and a paladin named cranberries who is bodaciously only good for killing EEEEVIIIIIIILLLLLL with his 27 ac

Today, the cleric, paladin, and ranger were all eaten by an azalea bush, but everything eventually turned out fine.

Shambling mounds are surprisingly lethal. The (Arcane Trickster) rogue cast a witch bolt at the shambling mound, not knowing that the mound would be healed by lightning. This rogue's player CONSTANTLY rolls low for attacks and damage, but for this attack he managed to crit, and then roll max damage ON TOP of the maximum damage he already got. I was trying not to laugh when he said he was casting a lightning attack, but after realizing that he was pretty much undoing two whole rounds of damage, I couldn't fucking breathe. So many near-death experiences in that fight alone.

The party continued on to survive and rout an ambush by kobolds, tracked the escapees to their camp where they obliterated the rest of the kobolds, and decided to poke around in the cave near where the camp was located. Entering the meandering caverns, the party came across a huge chamber with a slumbering dragon on the other side... and it was time to end the session.

Forgot to mention, I also introduced the party to magic items and they got to try various methods of identification, since none of them is able to cast an actual identify spell. The druid did most of the work since he's the one who has all the ideas, so he sipped a potion, stuck his hand into a portable hole, and concentrated really super hard on a longsword (he wasn't even able to wield) for an hour.

I find it hilarious and infuriating that I cannot find a .pdf for The Forgotten Temple of Tharizdun. Reading about it, it sounds like what I'm already planning for my party, so I thought I could make it sort of an homage/sequel, but I can't find anywhere that's got it for free. There's a site selling it for $5, but someone said it doesn't include maps?