AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Kick down one of those doors in a very manly fashion,and brandish your revolver menacingly.
Even if the room is void of life.
And…
Shoot things? That generally works…

Just start shooting and jumping like a maniac

Run into the cockpit, and fire the anti-air missile at the control panel.

Put your hand over your heart patriotically, and hum the Australian National Anthem as the ship falls to yours and the doctor's deaths.

Remember that you're Inuit

Oh, yeah, sure, just use your wooden stick to poke through solid metal, there's no way THAT won't work!. Besides, even if you could, you're pretty sure that putting a hole in a flying contraption leads to depressurization or something along those lines.


You begin dancing Thriller to try and get The Doctor to notice you, while also trying to get the MEAT to be your dance partner. You also sing the song at the top of your lungs with your best MJ impression. It doesn't seem to be working.

In fact, you're pretty sure Tyranibocular thinks you're dead.



You attempt to knock down the closest door with a kick, but you just end up hurting your foot. He has some really strong doors. You settle with just opening the door in a badass fashion, although that isn't nearly as cool. Inside is a very, very large bathroom, with a toilet that is basically just a giant hole in the floor. You shoot up the place. Now it's a giant bathroom with bullet holes in the walls.



You start jumping around all over the place and firing your gun. You're not quite sure, but you're pretty sure you yelling profanities at the top of your lungs.

It doesn't do much, though, except add more bullet holes to the walls in this place and make you tired from all that jumping and shouting.



You run over to the elevator and begin taking it up. As it moves, you can hear a robotic voice talking (most likely to itself) more and more clearly.

"..IS IT! MY REVENGE! SOON, ALL WILL BE GONE! DESTRUCTION, EVERYWHERE! MY PLAN HAS FINALLY REACHED IT'S COMPLETION! Grrrrwwaaaaaarrrwwwhhhh!"

So that's what a t-rex's roar sounds like! Finally, the elevator reaches its destination. You are now in the control room. There is a large windshield-type-thing in the front of the room, although you can't use it so see downward due to the enormous nose-type-thing in the way. There are several moniters around the room, most likely connected to cameras fixed to the bottom of the ship. On them, you can see all sorts of destruction as lasers, missiles, etc. rain down on the city below. Straight ahead of you, at the controls, is a dinosaur. He doesn't seem to have seen you.
You immediately take out you ANTI-AIR MISSILE LAUNCHER and slowly move slide to the right in an attempt to get a better shot at the controls. Suddenly, The Doctor turns and sees you!

"YOU-!?"

He pauses for a moment, most likely out of surprise, and then once again slams you across the room, though the windshield and on to the nose.

You get up and try not to lose consciousness again. You are pretty sure you took around 220 damage then, but it could have been more. From the nose, you can better see the city below. The jet-thing isn't actually flying all that high. Or moving very quickly. Apparently, it's made to sort of hover. There is a gaping hole in the ground where a parking garage used to be. You guess that's where this thing came out of. From here, you can clearly see all the destruction this thing has caused, and is causing.

Dr. Tyranibocular then jumps through the hole he made in the windshield and begins walking toward you.

"SO, YOU SURVIVED. BUT WHY WOULD YOU BOARD THIS SHIP? YOU HAD NO CAUSE OR REASON TO. IS IT, PERHAPS, BECAUSE YOU WANTED DEATH?
IN THE END, THOUGH, WHY YOU BOARDED DOESN'T MATTER. I'VE NEVER LET ANYONE WHO HAS CROSSED ME LIVE BEFORE. COME THEN, IF YOU WANT DEATH, THEN I SHALL BRING IT TO YOU! Graaawwwwwwrrrrr!"

This is it. The final showdown. No use holding back anything. You've been through a lot recently, but this is where it will end. If this dinosaur thinks he can kill you, let him try. You're ready.

Dr. Tyranibocular attacks!

INVENTORY:
ANTI-AIR MISSILE LAUNCHER, BLOODIED LINT, BUSINESS CARD, DICTIONARY, INFINITY REVOLVER, MOP, PIPE, PLANT, POISONED BROOM JAVELIN, SAFE, SCRAMBILONI'S WALLET, STAPLER, VARIOUS SNACKS (6)

EQUIPPED:
HAT, NAMETAG, TRILBY-ESQUE CLOTHES, WORN-OUT PENNY

Piss on him, become a Jarate master

Shoot at him in the legs with the Anti-air missile. Be sure not to fall off from the recoil.

You quickly yank down your pants and aim your stream of urine towards the raging dino. He must be shown who is the boss. It does a whole lot of nothing. You pull your pants back up.



The nose area you are fighting on is huge, so you really don't have to be too careful. You then shoot Tyranibocular in the legs with your only ANTI-AIR MISSILE LAUNCHER shot. It hits, and he falls down. If you include the fall, it does a total of 540 damage.

The Doctor then points his hand at you and fires a laser out of it. It hits you for 87 damage. Looks like he has more technology on him than just a speaker.

INVENTORY:
BLOODIED LINT, BUSINESS CARD, DICTIONARY, INFINITY REVOLVER, MOP, PIPE, PLANT, POISONED BROOM JAVELIN, SAFE, SCRAMBILONI'S WALLET, STAPLER, VARIOUS SNACKS (6)

EQUIPPED:
HAT, NAMETAG, TRILBY-ESQUE CLOTHES, WORN-OUT PENNY

(Guys, don't worry, this isn't going to be like the fight with Ol' George. Pretty much every command you use will have some sort of effect.)

Shoot stables at him with the stabler.

Attempt to climb onto the dinosaur and stab him the eyes with the javelin.

Give him your BUSINESS CARD.

Due to the fact it is impossible to "shoot" staplers, you instead toss the stapler at him. It does around 14 damage. Pathetic.



You run right up to Dr. Tyranibocular. He spins around to hit you with his tail, but you jump over it and grab on to his back. You climb your way up as he struggles and roars. You finally get to his head, which you immediately begin attacking Shadow of the Colossus style. You are unable to hit his eyes, but you stab his head a few times before he shakes you off and slams you to the ground. You take 72 damage while he takes 96.



You attempt to show him your business card, but he ignores it in favor of attempt to bite you. You quickly backflip our of the way.. You decide to show him your business card in a more "direct" manor. You toss the business card like a throwing star while still in mid backflip, and it slashes him across the face for 46 damage. It then boomerangs back to you, and catch it in an awesome fashion.

Is it just you or have you gotten way more badass recently!?

Dr. Tyranicbocular than grabs you in his jaws, tosses you in the air, jumps out, and toss a flip so as to slam you down to the ground again with his tail. It leaves a dent in the metal where you land and does 96 damage.

INVENTORY:
BLOODIED LINT, BUSINESS CARD, DICTIONARY, INFINITY REVOLVER, MOP, PIPE, POISONED BROOM JAVELIN, SAFE, SCRAMBILONI'S WALLET, VARIOUS SNACKS (6)

EQUIPPED:
HAT, NAMETAG, TRILBY-ESQUE CLOTHES, WORN-OUT PENNY

(You know, guys, the more you post, the more I update. It seems like you guys have been posting a lot less recently.)

Edit: I just noticed there is still a plant in the inventory that should have been gone a long time ago. Unless I'm mistaken, and there was a third plant we picked up somewhere along the way.

Trick him into charging you again. When he does, launch the safe at him. And make sure you throw it the opposite direction the hovercraft thing is moving.

Tyranibocular's momentum+your safe'-throwing momentum+ship's momentum= Massive damage when Safe hits Dinoborg.

Looks like that WORN-OUT PENNY is doing it's job. Now kick some booty with your POISONED BROOM JAVELIN. Once you defeat him stand atop his corpse, raise your JAVELIN to the sky and yell victoriously. Mop up afterwards.

club him with your pipe