AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Exeres I'm sorry but I'm just fuckin dying at that post.

fred flintstone would like his work vehicle back

I got to be Elmo today! It was pretty fun, so many kids tackle hugged me and were ecstatic to see me. Kids are the cutest. Although, I now realize how hot it is in costume during a regular sunny day in Texas. I have a layer of sweat on me beneath the leotard that I have to wear in costume, so I'm always having to wash up during my break so I don't feel gross. We have a mandatory time set for us to take a shower, but I don't want to get my hair wet since it frizzes after and takes forever to dry. Plus, I couldn't figure out how to make the water warm.

Someone called the deli tonight at like 7 o'clock wanting to order a meat and cheese tray, I almost didn't let him. Not because he was an asshole or anything, but because his name is Dick Willy and I thought it was a prank call. He got mad when I asked to make sure it was actually his name.

I had a coworker at Pizza Hut ordered something for his lunch break and put his name down as Barack Obama. He had to change it because he realized that he paid with his credit card and had to sign for it.

Narrowly avoided being robbed at gunpoint.

There's a McDonalds down the road from the gas station I work at. At about 12:50 last night, they get robbed at gunpoint through the drive thru by a black Tahoe. McDonald's employees overhear the people in the car say they're going to hit (my gas station) next.
All of the above I didn't know until afterwards.
So at about 1:00ish, a black Tahoe pulls up to one of the pumps, two people get out and come inside. They look... rough, to say the least. Dirty, trashy hair, talk like they're on something and can't focus. I don't judge because, hey, half of the customers are like that anyway. They go over to the ATM to get cash, while over there the Tahoe pulls up in front of the store, reverses a little to get a better look in the window, then floors it out of there.
Two strange people come up to the register and say they need to buy gas on the Tahoe. I look out the window, point out that the Tahoe left. They call someone to come pick them up, then go sit in the Subway (it's inside the gas station - fancy, right?) and wait.
A few minutes later, an emergency services SUV pulls into the lot and sloooowwwwlllly starts doing laps around the pumps. The driver stares in the windows at me with every pass.
+10 to confusion
After his third or fourth lap I give him a little wave out the window.
SUDDENLY POLICE. I had accidentally given the signal to strike or something because three local police cars and five state troopers with lights on rush into the lot.
My thoughts at this time: "wat". So I head outside. "What's going on, guys?" I ask.
One of the state troopers looked at me. "Are you getting robbed?"
Confusion level: maximum
"Uh... If I am, then it's news to me."

So the police go inside, come back out with the two weird people and it turns out they had loaded guns in their pants and were totally going to steal all my shit but their getaway vehicle ditched them. McDonalds called in and reported their robbery, but also said the thieves had mentioned my gas station as their next target.
So I had to wake up the co-manager at like 2 AM to come bring up the camera footage for the state police. THat was fun.

The icing on the cake: Technically I didn't get robbed so I didn't have to fill out any incident paperwork.

Overall, 8/10 would recommend being almost robbed. Great way to kill 1-2 hours of a boring graveyard shift.

Thank goodness the workers at McDonalds reported that. Geeze, I'd be freaked out if I were in your situation, even if it was an almost robbery.

I had to learn how to open at work today, so I went in at 6 AM. I've actually opened once before, but apparently I learned the wrong things????? Anyways, the power went out in half the restaurant for 10 minutes or so in the middle of my shift, so that kind of fucked with our schedule a little.

My new supervisor isn't very good at scheduling. I had to wait until midday last Friday for my Spring Break schedule, and normally it's posted on Thursdays. Also, they changed my Monday schedule last minute on Sunday night, so I missed out on a breakfast appearance. (People pay extra to eat breakfast in the Sesame Street restaurant and interact with the characters.) Which really sucks because they made a newbie be Elmo super last minute, and they weren't really sure on what they were doing. Although, I'm glad they actually got time to be in costume.

Also, I got super upset when some mom said to their kid: "no, no, it's okay! It's just a person in there!" And then when they see Elmo in the room, they said "Oh look, sweetie! It's ELMO! IT'S REALLY ELMO! Go give Elmo a hug!" So, Count von Count can be a weird person in a costume, but Elmo's legit? Okay.

And lo, the Taco Bell gods smiled upon Marcato in the week of March the 15th, for he was assigned drive thru cashier the entire week.

My local Taco Bell was closed (not sure if temporarily or permanently) for being Grade A Gross As Fuck. Health inspectors or something.

Where else will I go to buy enough food to enter a coma for under $10?

I'm surprised (and cheered) to find that I'm not the only one who works in food.

I think the weirdest story I have so far is walking into work on RUCKY Day to have one of the girls tell me that I had a special delivery and a secret admirer. They directed me to a brown envelope sitting on the counter addressed to "Patrick Smith". "Patrick" fits but "Smith" doesn't, but the girls were so sure it was me - saying it was specifically for the "Patrick" who'd started working there recently - that I opened the envelope anyway. You can imagine my facial expression upon seeing that the first in the leaf of papers was a notice to appear in court for a child support hearing. Fortunately double-checking the contact information on the second page carried a higher priority over screaming in a panic; not only was the full name wrong, the guy didn't even live in the same city.

To make things stranger, apparently the fellow who delivered the documents decided he'd get funny. Considering the date, I'm told that he got all dressed up and posed as someone dropping off an anonymous flowers sort of thing. He had my co-workers were convinced that I had a flirty stalker and they understandably couldn't contain themselves upon hearing that I'd nearly gotten served.

Well my season at SeaWorld has ended. I'll be going back in July. I worked almost every day last week of spring break, so I'm super pop flyin' for that. I got to be Elmo quite a lot too, so that was fun. Other than that I was general SeaWorld characters. They're cool, but I think I just like Sesame Street more because they're iconic. I got super disgruntled guests whenever I had to cut off lines for pictures though.

One lady got all up in my face and said: "Why can't you just take one more picture for my family with my kids?!" And I said "Well, I'm sorry, but Shamu's gotta go back into the water right now! He's VERY dehydrated! But we'll be back out here at 11 o'clock!" And she said "You'll be back out here at 11? Okay. My family is going to be right here. And we'll be first in line."

Yeah, she never came back.

I actually got a positive note from my boss for all of my silly things I'd say when I had to bring characters inside. I've realized that if I say something funny, they'll be less sad/upset that we're going in, and we can run away while they're in mid laugh. My favorite line I've said is: "Count von Count and I have to go inside now, because he's gotta help me with my math homework!"

It's good you're having fun as well as doing a good job. Well done!