AWKWARD ZOMBIE

WE'RE BACK

NOT DEAD

SORRY FOR ALMOST TWO MONTH DELAY

Episode Fifteen: Making a Mountain Out of a Mondo Molehill



Whoa, what happened? Who's that?



Doggone it, Wry, I told you to stop doing that! Stop fondling my brain with your weird psychic powers, already!



Good.....morning?

Uhh



GAAAAAAA

WHAT THE HECK

YOU AREN'T MOMMY



Who are you and what did you do with Wry-OW GEEZ THAT'S BRIGHT



Leene? What kind of stupid name is that? That's as bad as naming your kid Ness. Or Poo.



You have exactly three seconds to explain who you are, where I am, and how you made everything look all Mode 7-like.



ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME



All right, all right, I'm getting up!

I....don't exactly remember falling asleep, though....

Soundtrack: Caverns of Winters



Wha? Huh?

Oh, sorry, I must've dozed off there for a second. What a strange dream I had. It felt kind of like......foreshadowing?

Anway, let's continue through this cav-THERE'S ANOTHER BEAR THERE

Soundtrack: Oncoming Foe



Let's take on a much less intimidating furry brown animal first, though.

Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weak Opponent



All right, you know the drill, Wry.

Soundtrack: You Win!



FLAWLESS VICTORY



Yay, more not-bears!

Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weird Opponent



Ha! He hardly left a scratch!



And it looks like Wry's training is paying off, too!



Let me stand next to your fire~



Huh. Guess they're not too fond of Hendrix....



Quite a shame that bats don't recognize good music when they hear it!



And ironically, so did Jimi himself, more often than not!



'Scuse me, while I facebattle this guy~

I KNOW THOSE AREN'T THE REAL LYRICS

And by "guy", I mean bat.

And by "facebattle", I mean bludgeon to death!

And by "I", I guess I mean Wry?

I think my analogies are starting to break down again....



Good to know you've been putting that whole echolocation thing to good use!

Soundtrack: That Was Easy!



If you hadn't, it may have come back to bite you!



Tres bien.



I just can't get over that. Why is this a thing?!?!?



Well, his loss is my gain, I suppose!



I'm failing to see how you aren't dead yet.



Ah, well. For every problem, there is a solution named Wry.

Soundtrack: You Gained a Level!



Wry learned Teen Angst!



Enough distractions! Let's sally forth already and finish exploring!



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weird Opponent



Nonononononononononononononononononononononononononononono

LSD Meter: Nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenope



Killitkillitkillitkillitkillitkillitkillitkillitkillitkillitkillitkillitkillitkillitkillitkillitkillit



Ohgeezohgeezohgeezohgeezohgeezohgeezohgeezohgeez



Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou

(Mighty Bears aren't really THAT tough, but they CAN do some serious damage if you let them live long enough. Thankfully, they're weak to PSI Freeze, as well!)



I'll

uhh

just let you handle this one, Wry.

And maybe also the rest of them.



I mean, you seem to be handling things by yourself just fine, and I don't want to get in your way, that's all.



HE'S NOT DEAD YET AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA KILL IT



Well, well! It seems he decided to switch sides at the last minute!



I'm.....not so comfortable with these Teddy Bears now that I know their origins. You hold on to this one, sweet cheeks.



Ahh...... Just what I needed to unwind after several consecutive bear attacks.



What are these bats, BLIND?

Oh, wait....



I'm going to have to step in again to help, aren't I?



Sigh..... All right. Time to man up and help out the dame.



I guess since I was more merciful to this one(or perhaps slightly more terrified), it decides to join my side! He shall be known as Stanley!



Marc can now legally drink! And rent cars! Although not at the same time.



Well, now that you're an official member of Team Marc, you are hereby designated as team healer, by virtue of you being slightly faster than me.

Also because I'm running out of item space.



Well, this looks like a party. Just not the kind I want to be invited to.



Mighty Bears are slightly less threatening now that we have Stanley and Wry's Teddy on our side!



Take one for the team, boys.



Take TWO for the team, boys.



Clearly the biggest threat posed to us at the moment.



As such, he must be dealt with severely!



Sniff..... They grow up so fast....



Dude, I've taken on BEARS, how am I supposed to feel threatened by you guys now?



Let's give 'em the ol' Wry and Die treatment.



And what a hard-earned win it was!



This would go great with some PSI Brownies.

(PSI Caramels are your standard ether/MP-restoring item.)



Girls love to be showered with presents. My daddy taught me well.



OK CAN WE BE DONE WITH BEARS NOW



THANK YOU



That's a heck of an arm you're getting there, Wry! Look at you, doing SMAAAAASH attacks all by yourself.



Oh crap, whose Teddy Bear was it?!?!?



Oh please oh please oh please don't let it be.....



STANLEY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO



Oh, so THAT'S it, then? Didn't have enough blood, err, fluff on your hands from Stanley, so now you're after Wry's Teddy, too?



Well, it's doing Wry some good, apparently!

Sountrack: Spell Learned



A LOT of good!

(I think we've seen enemies use PSI Magnet, but just for the record, it saps PP from opponents. Pretty handy!)



You'll never be forgotten, Stanley, but now I can be at peace over your sudden demise.



THAT WAS TOO CLOSE



You can probably guess how it played out.



Let's see if I can get another Stanley!

............WHAT AM I SAYING

NO ONE CAN REPLACE STANLEY



Wow, uhh..... Way to go there, champ. You really helped us out there.



See, THIS is how you hit things with blunt objects! You should probably take some notes.



And THAT'S what happens when you aren't properly prepared to whack things with your frying pan. You get your friends hurt. I hope you learned a valuable lesson today, Wry.



MUCH better!



Oh hey, look, bats that we DIDN'T sneak up on! What a surprise!



Not that they put up much of a fight....



OK, I SERIOUSLY feel like there's more going on here than I'm aware of.

Look at this, these moles are causing me to have an existential crisis!

WHAT IS MY LIFE



Looks like Wry's fluff shield abandoned her. She was never very good at picking trustworthy friends. Except me, of course.



At least her friends don't UP AND DIE ON HER.



THEN AGAIN



OW GEEZ

THAT IS MORE THAN JUST A LITTLE SCRATCH

I'm gonna need a REALLY big Flintstones Band-Aid for that one!



Or a regular-sized PSI Band-Aid works too!



I don't want to waste too much more of my PP, so we'll send Wry on her very first acid trip. Consider it your official welcome to the club!

Soundtrack: Sanctuary Guardian's Challenge



Oh hey, a Sanctuary! Who knew THIS would be here?

.....OK, I did......

Let's get ready to rumble!

Soundtrack: Oncoming Boss

Soundtrack: Sanctuary Guardian



Is....is that.....BLOOD?

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Ahem. Anyway, this celebrity's identity may slip past some people, but my knowledge of 1980s comedy films has prepared me for this moment!

CELEBRITY BOSS BATTLE #8: VS. CHEVY CHASE

OK, TECHNICALLY it was a gopher in that movie, but close enough!

FIGHT BEGIN



Now's as good a time as any to try out a new PSI. Mr. Chase seems more than willing to be my, heheh, guinea pig.



Get him, Wry, you can do it!

.....Or you can not hit anything. That works too.



Mr. Chase's comedic talents are almost too much for me to handle!

Luckily, I have a secret weapon on my side!



Remember Caddyshack 2, Mr. Chase?



It's working! He's become paralyzed at the mere mention of that movie!

(Mondo Mole is extremely susceptible to PSI Paralysis, turning a difficult fight into a cakewalk if you know the trick.)



There's the ticket! Don't let Pokemon rules fool you!



It seems Mr. Chase is SHOCKED at this development!

....Sorry.



Oh no

He regains his strength in the presence of bad puns!

HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID



Time to send your ship a-sailing, Mr. Chase!

....OH DOGGONE IT



I just.....I have nothing to contribute to this battle.

(Don't fret, in-game version of me. Mondo Mole is just resistant to a lot of PSI attacks, and also has a ton of defense. That's why I'm having Wry hit him with PSI Thunder: It's one of the few attacks he doesn't resist.)



Dang it! Lightning really DOESN'T strike the same place twice! Why do old adages have to be so accurate?!?!?



Oh, come on, that wasn't even a pun!



Oh no..... He's preparing even MORE deadly comedy!



HURRY UP WITH THAT THUNDER, WRY

I CAN DO EXACTLY NOTHING HERE



Oh for the love of-

How much more pun-resistant can you be?!?!?



.....Apparently, THAT pun-resistant!



YOU'RE KILLIN ME SMALLS



Oh, good sweet mercy, this is where we die a horrible, pun-tastic death.

Well, at least I get to die laughing.



YES

PERFECT TIMING

THANK YOU WRY



FREAKING FINALLY



Yeah, I'll just, uhh, hit him with my bat or something, for what little good it does.

Soundtrack: You Defeated the Boss!



Then again, every little bit counts!

Looks like Mr. Chase ran out of material!



MORE POWER



Yes

YESSSSSS

MY SHIPS ARE MORE SPECTACULAR

MY PAIRINGS ARE MORE POTENT

MY MATCHES ARE MORE MALEVOLENT



And Wry grows to Level Sweet 16!

Anybody see what I did there? Anybody?



A regular Sonic the Hedgehog we've got here.

Please no fan art of Wry.



About dang time! You could use a bit more psychic muscle.



Well, that takes care of that! I'd gotten so wrapped up in this whole rescuing Wry business that I'd forgotten about getting the melodies for the Sound Stone! Don't tell Buzz Buzz.

Well, let's go get our reward!

Soundtrack: Welcome to Your Sanctuary



Uhh

Where IS our reward?

Those tiny little specks on the ground? O-OK......

Soundtrack: Your Sanctuary-Lilliput Steps



OWWWWW

AGAIN WITH THE RETINA BURNING

Soundtrack: A Flash of Memory



A baby with a great eye for fashion, I see!



FRESH JAMZ #2 GET

Time to bounce!



HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

THAT'S RIGHT, RUN! RUN, BEAR! BOW BEFORE YOUR MASTER!

BUT MOSTLY RUN



YOUR SPECIES DESERVES NO MERCY



Bear oppression: Giving little girls levels since 1994.



I suppose I could let this one go, just this once.....



OR NOT



AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Soundtrack: Boy Meets Girl(Twoson)



AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha....heh.....hooo....

I

I might have lost it there a little bit.

Let's go check up on Dad. And our savings account!

Soundtrack: Buy Somethin' Will Ya!



You, sir, are looking mighty fine. And you're looking good, too, Dad!



Well, we're all done here! We got the Wry, we got the melody, and most importantly, we got NEW SHIPPING POWERS! On the next episode, we take this damsel in not-so-much distress home! See you then!

Well, we finished a chapter yesterday, so you know what that means. Or maybe you don't. Who knows?

Earthbound Extra: Volume Two

Earthbound Extra #4: I talked last time about the first game in Earthbound's series, Mother, which was released on the Famicom in 1989. Unfortunately, it was never released to the North American market. The funny thing is, the game was already translated, packaged, AND ready to be advertised here in the states in 1990. So what caused the release to be cancelled? Just a little thing called.....



This guy. The Super Nintendo Entertainment System was getting ready to be released at the same time, and Nintendo worried that a new NES game wouldn't be a financial success in light of the release of a brand new system and games. As such, the project was scrapped and the game was never brought to American soil.

Oh, and one more little tidbit. The name planned for the American version of Mother 1 was Earthbound. Imagine that.

Earthbound Extra #5: Earthbound handles some pretty mature themes for a kid's game. Don't believe me? Well, get a load of this. Many of the scenes in Earthbound bear a striking resemblance to real life events. Let's take a look at a couple examples.

Remember the fight in the police station where Ness fights a group of cops and the Captain? Seems pretty similar to an infamous moment in US History, the Rodney King beating. In this incident, Rodney King led police on a high speed car chase in Los Angeles, and afterwards was beaten by four police officers and a Sargeant. How many officers does Ness fight again? Four. OK, technically five, but one runs away. And afterwards, he fights the Captain.

Not convinced yet? You ain't seen nothing yet. The Happy-Happyists seem like a pretty odd group, right? Painting their village blue, spreading a message of happiness, it all seems pretty random. Or maybe not. In 1984, a cult called Aum Shinrikyo was founded in Japan. The founder, Shoko Asahara, was mostly blind due to glaucoma, and began studying religious texts in the 1980's. He started his own cult, proclaiming himself to be Jesus Christ, and eventually the cult gained so much attention that they were able to run for public office. The cult's platform was known for a generally happy atmosphere, with lots of singing and dancing. Asahara was arrested in 1995 under suspicion of leading an act of chemical terrorism in a Japanese subway caused by members of his cult. He's currently on death row. Here's a picture of Asahara in his traditional attire.



Nice color, right? Well, it doesn't stop there. The Aum Shinrikyo headquarters was located on a small dairy farm, and the only cow you can find in the entire game of Earthbound is in Happy-Happy Village. It's pretty convincing evidence that many of the things in Earthbound are inspired by real life. That's not all of the more dark topics found in Earthbound, but you get the idea. Maybe it's not such a kid's game, after all.

If you want more information, check out Game Theory's episode on Earthbound. Be warned, though, there are some serious spoilers.

Thanks for reading! See you in Chapter Three!

I wish I knew some Chevy Chase jokes.

Hey, me too.

I thought Chevy Chase was a joke.

Naw, Chevy Chase is where you fight the super mutant behemoth before meeting Three Dog.

And the point is broken.

I thought the pop flyin'-happyists were just a weird KKK, weird.

Just you wait, my friend. Before this LP is over, we'll experience prostitutes, dismemberment, and so much more, all under the guise of a friendly game.

That can probably sum up my LP too.

Except with zambies.

Zambie.

OK, so something pretty funny happened when I was playing through the next part of the game for the next episode. I played through the segment I intended to and went to call Dad and save, but ended up accidentally calling Mom. When I did, she said something along the lines of "Hi Marc! I heard you have a new girlfriend now! You'll have to tell me all about her later, in case she's standing next to you. If she is, tell her I said hi!" So there you have it, Marc x Wry is officially canon. It caught me off guard, so I forgot to record it, but I wanted to share that with you all.

Marc ships enemies left and right, but can he ship himself?

Huh. I didn't realize Mother 1 was going to be called Earthbound. Now I know, I guess.

Mother 1 is probably my favorite game of the series.

Earthbound is great and Mother 3 too, but there's just something about Mother 1 that's magical.

Except the battle system, because holy fuck you are almost never safe.

Unfortunately not without causing about 80 damage to both me and Wry. I guess that's why Mom had to do it for me.

Some people just can't listen to instructions!

AMAZING Wry the Hedgehog drawing by my good friend rhinocerocket! I love this so much, you don't even know!