AWKWARD ZOMBIE

The infamous thief? You're pretty sure you don't have any business with miscreants like him, at least not that you can remember. Why did that name pop up in your head in the first place? It's not like you've ever encountered him. Apparently he carries out some kind of vigilante justice, robbing rich and corrupt nobles and giving it anonymously to the poor. You're not really a fan of his style of altruism, but hey, he's left you and your personal accounts alone, plus he helps the commoners pay their taxes on time, so you don't raise a fuss about the Blue Dove.



You steer Marmalade out into the streets of the kingdom and towards the cottage of Hordegar the Wise. As your mount trots along, you get a whiff of the ocean breeze that permeates throughout the seaside castle town. You love everything about the ocean, perhaps because you haven't lived anywhere else, and you often like to take walks down to the beach and watch the sun set. On the rare occasions when you can avoid the press that will make a scene about your uneven tan lines, you like swimming in the ocean, and more importantly splashing at Cranzibald to see how long it takes for you to make him grunt in irritation. He doesn't seem to enjoy swimming nearly as much as you do. You like to think that since he's roughly shaped like a brick, he sinks like one, too. He even turns red as a brick when you continue splashing him!

Your ride to the old man's cottage takes you through the town's marketplace. As one would expect from an ocean side kingdom, many of the merchants sell goods such as fish, fish, fish.....more fish....sigh....even more fish.....oh look, there's a vendor selling pearl necklaces! You stop and consider buying one, but Cranzibald looks at you with a sense of urgency, so you decide to move on. You'll have to come back later, even though he probably just wants to get going so he can get this charade over with. Most of the commoners bow as you pass, with the occasional peddler giving you a sweet smile while motioning towards their fish YOU MEAN goods. You return a slight smile of your own and ride ahead, ignoring the odorly indication of how long ago those fish were caught.

Finally you arrive at Hordegar the Wise's hut and dismount Marmalade, tying his reigns to a nearby post. Cranzibald dismounts his own steed and ties it next to yours, and you both step inside. Inside, an assortment of odd and ends rest on shelves and tables, many of which appear to not have been touched since the Captain was a toddler. Mounted on the wall are several skulls, some of which you recognize as fish and other oceanic creatures, while some are reminiscent of forest animals you've seen on the way to Verdenia. Still others are completely unfamiliar to you. Geez, those things give you the creeps. And yet, like a carriage accident, you can't seem to look away. Wood carvings line another shelf, some bearing humanoid shapes, while others appear to be modeled after rare and exquisite creatures. Your eyes rest on a wooden figurine of a wyvern, its scales and wings expertly crafted. You're pretty sure Hordegar didn't make this himself, or at least he did before he became old and....shaky.

You hear a voice call out from another room. "Hm? Who's there? Take whatever trinket you like, but leave the amulet on the far table alone! I haven't quite extracted the curse from it yet, and I'm sure you don't want to experience excessive hair growth for the rest of your life." It's Hordegar, all right. You'd recognize his crackling, yet intelligent sounding voice anywhere.
You call back, "It's just me, teacher, Princess Emilia."
"Emilia?", his voice replies. "Didn't I just give you your horoscope a few days ago?"
"Yes, you did, but I need to speak to you about somethi-"
You suddenly hear a bang, followed by a "Blasted thing!" from Hordegar. You quickly, yet delicately, rush into the other room. Yellow smoke billows out from a study.
"Are you all right?", you call out. "Or at least not dead?"
"Yes, yes, quite fine.", he replies. "If you plan to come in here, cover your mouth and nose. I'm not sure if the potion was supposed to do that." Cranzibald looks panicky as he quickly covers his orifices. You roll your eyes and calmly do the same. The big oaf isn't a fan of magic at all, as most Rossodinians tend to be. You quickly open the door with one hand and just as quickly return it to your face, then step inside.

(This is really just a continuation of the previous post to give Kamak a chance to chime in and also so I'm not making giganto-posts. Let's move on.)

It's hard to see amongst all the yellow smoke, but you can see a figure in the back of the room opening a window. The room clears a bit, and OH MY GOSH THE GRASS OUTSIDE JUST TURNED ORANGE. You spot a mirror off to the side of the room and glance into it nervously. How's your hair? Is your hair OK? OK, yes, it's fine. Oh, what about your dress? Oh, OK, that's fine, too. It looks like you haven't been affected by it at all. You turn around to check on Cranzibald. HEY. WHERE DID HE GO. You step back into the other room and catch him trying to sneak his way outside. You tell him to GET HIS BUTT IN HERE THIS INSTANT, NO ONE IS GOING TO TURN YOU INTO A NEWT.

With Cranzibald in tow, you walk back into the study, one member of your party more hesitant than the other. The room has been mostly aerated out, and you can now see that the room is lined wall to wall with ancient and faded texts. You couldn't even begin to guess what language some of these tomes are written in, that is, if you could make out the writing in the first place. On top of various tables rest bottles of mysterious liquids of various colors. Hordegar is sitting at a desk in the middle of the room, with an odd assortment of tools scattered haphazardly along the surface. A beaker of unidentified yellow brew sits in front of him, and an open flame from a lamp lights the gloomy room. He stares at the beaker for a moment, its eerie glow reflected on his grey robe, tugs at his untrimmed beard, and sets the beaker on the desk away from the heat of the lamp. He motions for you and the Captain to sit down at the desk across from him.

He claps his wrinkled hands together and grins. "Welcome, Princess.", he says politely. "And to you, too, sir. What can I do for you?"
"Thank you, teacher." you say. "Now, as I was saying before, I'd like you to-"
"AHEM. Excuse me, kind sir.", Cranzibald interrupts, and rather RUDELY, you might add. "Would you mind if I stepped outside for a moment? I think the smoke from that explosion isn't agreeing with my lungs."
"You'll sit right there and stop being such a baby, Cranzibald.", you snap. You then turn back to Hordegar. "My apologies. This is my Captain of the Guard, Sir Cranzibald. He...." You hesitate for a moment. "....He doesn't care much for, ahem, magic." You know that Hordegar isn't a magician or a sorcerer, and he hates when you call his work "magic".
"Then allow me to ease your mind, Sir Cranzibald.", Hordegar says haughtily. "I am no master of the arcane arts. I am an alchemist, one who studies and manipulates chemicals for various effects. You'll find no magic in my home, save for what's brought in by someone other than myself."
"Exactly.", you respond. "Now then, I have a letter that I'd like you to examine for me, if you would be so kind."
"A letter, is it?", Hordegar chuckles. "I certainly hope the reading lessons I gave you as a child haven't lost their potency." Cranzibald reaches into his bag and retrieves the letter, handing it to the old sage. Hordegar takes it and examines it for several minutes. You try and wait patiently for the old man to finish his inspection, but GEEEEEEZ HE'S TAKING FOREVER. You're just about to say something when he suddenly squints at something on the paper, then quickly gets up and starts rummaging through an assortment of test tubes and beakers. He finds a vial filled with black liquid, and carries it over to desk, carefully pouring no more than a few drops onto the letter. You look down at it, and some of the letters appear to be transmuting! After a few seconds, the liquid sinks into the paper, revealing.....nothing. The letters remain as obscure as ever. Great, you're glad he wasted all that time.

Hordegar looks up at you. "This is quite serious. The message contained in this letter has been obscured by dark magic for some reason."
You look at your teacher confusedly. "But why would someone waste all that effort to keep me from reading a stupid letter? And why would this letter mention you and Green?"
"It must contain invaluable information to you.", Hordegar surmises. "Someone must desperately want to keep you from reading that message. As for what part myself and the princess of Verdenia play in this letter, I cannot say."
"It must have to do with my memories!", you gasp. "Green must have somehow used dark magic to erase my memories and obscure the letter!"
"Your memories?", Hordegar asks. "Have you been experiencing a loss of memory lately, Emilia?"
"Yes, but just a few things here and there.", you reply. "I get the feeling that I was supposed to ask an important question to Cranzibald, and yet, I can't remember it. I also can't remember how Papa and Mama died."
"Hmm..... How curious.", the alchemist mutters and he strokes his beard. "I, too, have gotten the distinct feeling that I was supposed to give you an important message, but for the life of me, I cannot recall what it was." That dirty witch. She got to Hordegar, too? You can hardly believe what you're hearing.
"If this letter is to be believed," he says. "Then traveling to Verdenia and meeting with its princess will be crucial to the restoration of your memory."
"Really?", you ask with surprise. You smirk at Sir Crankybutt and ask, "You mean my intuition was dead-on?"
"That remains to be seen.", Hordegar says as he gets up from his chair. "However, you will undoubtedly need this for your quest."

He walks over to a bookshelf to your left, climbs a nearby ladder, and searches the top shelf until he finds the book he was looking for. The tome is somewhat large, and you can tell that it's centuries old, yet the binding, covers, and pages are in near perfect condition. A large, mystical symbol is plastered on the front cover. Hordegar motions for you to open the book. You do so, and find that WHAT THE HECK. You can't even read this! It's just a bunch of symbols and junk! You glare up from the book at the sage, and he chuckles, motioning for you to keep reading. You groan and flip through the pages. Blah blah blah blah, more symbols, more junk, blah blah bla-huh? There's a section in the book you can read. Kind of. It looks like a bunch of nonsense words, but it uses Azurian letters, so that's a start. You mutter one of the words and Cranzibald suddenly looks at you like you've grown a third eye. Hordegar nods and suddenly you're confused and scared.

"OK, what the heck is this, smart aleck?", you grumble at your teacher.
"This is a spell book.", he replies. "I sense that you have a great deal of magic potential, and you could use a book like this for your quest."
"Now wait just a minute.", Cranzibald interjects suddenly. "If you're not a magician, then how do you know the princess has magic potential? And how do you know the letter has had dark magic cast on it?"
"Anyone can learn to sense magic, with proper training, as magic is nothing more than forms of the world's natural energy.", Hordegar says sternly. "And I would urge you to pick your words more carefully, sir. Magicians are nothing more than performers and tricksters, using sleight-of-hand and illusions to make their audience believe they possess special powers. What the princess is capable of becoming is a sorceress: One who manipulates the energy permeating our world in various ways using incantations and spells."
"You think I can become a sorceress?", you ask nervously. That sounds like a lot of work, but if it helps you show up Green, you might as well give it a shot, you guess.
"The fact that you were able to read from this book indicates that you are capable of using magic, as well as what kind of magic you possess.", the old man says. "That book has a special ward placed on it that allows only those with magic potential to read its passages."
"The page you read from just looked like a bunch of crazy symbols to me.", Cranzibald adds.

This is a lot to take in, and you aren't quite sure how to react entirely. What do you do now?

Hey Marcato, when you ask the audience what should we do now, I advise that you include some multiple choices to help lead us in a direction, but also include a "Write in" choice so that people can choose to do something else.

But why not just leave choices open entirely? I'd rather only use multiple choices when necessary.

Because the audience is sometimes clueless on what to do. Think of it like a train, people get on the train to head towards a destination they wish to go to, but the train needs rails in order to go anywhere. And if the majority of the passengers decide on a destination that's not on the rails, then the train sprouts rocket thrusters and carries them into the great beyond okay this analogy is getting out of hand I'll stop now.

That's not the kind of story I want to write, though. The idea isn't for this to be a linear "You can pick this or this or this" kind of game. You can tell me to do anything, within reason, and I'll consider whatever you request. Narrowing down people's choices to a few options is kind of the exact opposite of what I want Princess Quest to be, which is an open, free, and completely ridiculous story.

That's why I suggested that you include a "write-in" choice so that people who think of a better option can just write it down and post it.

Okay, >See if Hordegar has any healing potions.

>Read aloud from the book while staring at Cranzibald. After asking about healing potions (or spells, even! Yer a wizard, 'emmy)

Also to bring my two cents on the multiple choice adventure thing, I'd prefer having the adventure be entirely "choose what you will". I like that the story itself gives some ideas for options naturally, and that the ending question doesn't directly point in one or two directions. It's the difference between participating and reading, and I'd prefer to participate.

>Fly to Hogwarts and get sorted into Hufflepuff

Sir Cranzibald hated all of this magic shit. Magic had no place in his country of Rossodin, brute strength saved the day for him and his men more than some magic man in his morning robe waving a wand around like an imbecile. Sir Cranzibald was often caught up in some horrific spells, but always managed to strongarm his way through them, or at least rely on his fellow soldiers to take down the annoying mage. Those experiences with magic affirmed two things to Sir Cranzibald: 1. Magic had no place in warfare and 2. Magicians were nothing but tricksters out to take advantage of people who could not use magic.

And yet this man in front of him was nonchalant in his discussion of magic as some essential life force. It was like listening to a common crook talk about the redistribution of wealth through thievery being a "good and natural" thing.

Sir Cranzibald's head felt light from the fumes, which only heightened his concern. For a brief moment he lost himself and snickered at the old man's insinuation that the Princess forgot how to read, but he corrected himself by pretending it was a sneeze. The sooner they got out of here, the better.

And now it seems that the man wants to poison the princess's mind with magic. He wasn't sure if this man was on the up and up. Despite their close personal history, what if Hordegar was manipulating Emilia and filling her head with "magical lies" to delude her into thinking she could become a sorceress. Or, what if he took her memories to begin with and gave her this enchanted letter?

And worse, if he taught her the ways of magic, she could use it against Sir Cranzibald, or her own subjects. She wasn't the most stable personality, and the only thing keeping her from careening her kingdom out of control was her lack of power. Her fractured self-confidence marred by her frantic and in-the-moment way of thinking could lead to corruption.

Sir Cranzibald wanted nothing more than to grab Emilia and escape this hut. He could pull rank and keep her from seeing this man ever again. The big flaw in this would be that it could ruin his standing with her, and this common trickster could impede their escape. He didn't necessarily want to go through being cursed again, or whatever this man could cook up.

But what could he do to stop this from happening? He already tried excusing himself and the princess stopped him. She's entirely enthralled with what the sneaky soothsayer is telling her. He had to think of a plan and quick.

You already acquired plenty of medical supplies back at the castle, but more medicine never hurt anybody, you suppose. Especially when Cranzibald is carrying it. You open your mouth to ask for some, but as if he could read your mind, Hordegar says, "Sit there a moment and I'll make you some healing potions to take with you. It shouldn't take more than a half hour. In the meanwhile, you can practice reciting a few of those spells."
"You mean you aren't going to teach me?", you ask concernedly.
"As I said before, I have no magical ability.", he replies. "And as such, I cannot suitably teach you how to properly cast spells. You'll have to teach yourself or learn from an experienced sorcerer, I'm afraid." Fan-freaking-tastic. How on Earth are you supposed to find a sorcerer to teach you?!? Or better yet, how on Earth are you supposed to teach YOURSELF this stuff?!? You cross your arms and start grumbling to yourself loudly enough for Hordegar to hear, but stop when you realize he's too busy mixing together liquids and powders for your potions to pay any attention to you.



OH NO. NO NO NO NO NO. You berate yourself inside your head for even thinking of referring to yourself as a "wizard". You're glad Hordegar can't actually read minds, or you would have gotten an hour long lecture about how and why you aren't a wizard, or witch, as it were. You personally don't really care about whether you're referred to as a wizard or a witch or a sorceress or leprechaun or whatever(OK, maybe not that last one), and you feel that the old man is far too concerned with semantics for his own good.

Anyway, you figure you ought to dig into this book if you want to learn any magic at all. You grimace at the intimidating-looking tome, rest your arm against the side of your chair, and start flipping through the pages. As you come across the first page you can read, you start uttering the strange words to yourself. After becoming a bit more comfortable with the pronunciation of the words(wait, is that a strong or weak I?), you take a deep breath, focus, and chant the words in front of you with CONVICTION......but surprise, surprise, nothing happens. You deepen your frown, but then look up and notice that Cranzibald is looking at you warily. It looks like he's moved his chair a few inches further away from yours. Oh yes..... YES. This is going to be SWEET.

You turn the page and find a particularly magicky-sounding spell. With even more CONVICTION than before, you chant the words, stumbling on a few of them(hey, it's your first time, give yourself a break!), right at the Captain. He glares at you, but you can tell he's losing his nerve. You turn to another page and GEEZ WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FREAKING CONSONANTS. You're pretty sure you absolutely butchered this one, but you sound it out to the best of your ability. Cranzibald is doing his best to keep his composure, but he looks like he's about ready to burst! You grin mischievously and turn the page once more. Ooh, this one looks juicy! And really, really difficult! You're not even remotely close with this one, you're sure, but you try to sound like you know what you're saying. Cranzibald is beet red! You try your best to stifle your laughter as he marches outside, muttering about how he has to check the horses.

A little while later, Hordegar finishes preparing the potions. You place them one by one in your bag, struggling to fit them all in between your writing materials. The last one you reach for is a small blue vial, and as you go to take it, the old codger snatches it back and holds it in front of you. "This is a very potent potion, Emilia.", Hordegar says sternly. "It has enough power to rescue a man from fatal wounds and illnesses, but only once. Use it only when ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. It could have very serious side effects if ingested. People are rarely allowed to escape death without severe consequences. Do you understand?" You give your teacher a strange look and nod slowly. He sets the vial down in front of you and you take it without a second thought. How powerful could this silly little thing be? You thank Hordegar for his help and exit the cottage. Outside, Cranzibald is standing next to his horse, waiting patiently for your emergence. You try to take some of the potions out of your overstuffed bag and put them in Cranzibald's, and he politely informs you that if you so much as THINK about putting those demon elixirs in his bag, he will throw them out into the ocean. You decide that you can get by keeping them in your own bag.

Well, you're all set! Anywhere else you want to go, or should you head off to Verdenia now?

>Let's kick it!

Emilia(I've been forgetting to do this):

Time to hit the road! You dig your heels into Marmalade's hind legs, causing her to whinny and jump up onto them, for no other discernible reason than it seemed like the most epic way to start off your adventure. Your trusty steed races forward! ......And Sir Cranzibald keeps up with you while his horse trots at a moderately brisk pace! Marmalade gallops back through the marketplace, narrowly avoiding bystanders crossing the street. He accidentally bumps a cabbage cart, though, causing the produce to spill out onto the road. The elderly gentleman managing the cart promptly freaks the heck out!

You stop once you arrive at the castle town gates. A sudden apprehension tugs at your mind, and you feel butterflies in your stomach. You turn around and take one last look at your castle. Somehow, you get the feeling you won't be seeing Azuria for a little while. Can you really abandon your subjects to pursue a shaky, yet completely justified lead like this? Just up and leave, just like that? What if something happens and your people need you? No..... No, you've decided. You can't do it. You can't....

"Princess!!!"

.....get out of here fast enough, that is! That nasally, high-pitched voice is the absolute LAST voice you wanted to hear right now! You have to get out of here, before she spots you..... Too late, she already did! You see your lady-in-waiting emerging from the marketplace, riding her own horse towards you at breakneck speed. Your eyes lock from the distance and you know it's all over. You look to Cranzibald for help and he..... Wait....is....is he.....praying?!? He's....THANKING THE SPIRITS?!?!?

Your lady-in-waiting catches up to you quickly and immediately dismounts her steed, her portly body jiggling through her light blue robes as she impacts the ground. She then marches in front of Marmalade, sucks in a big puff of air, and rigidly points at the ground next to her feet.
"Princess Emilia!", she exclaims harshly. "I suggest you dismount your animal and come back to the castle with me at once!" Oh no. Oh NO SHE DID NOT. You're certain you didn't just hear her call Marmalade, your precious baby boy, an ANIMAL. And who does she think she is, telling you what to do like that?!? Last time you checked, you were the highest authority figure around here! You grip the reigns on Marmalade more tightly and look back at her sternly, proclaiming, "I'm afraid I can't do that, er....." Shoot! Not again..... Sigh..... At least you remembered Marmalade's name.

Let's just.....let's just do the deed already. What's her name?

(If someone wants to be her, you're more than welcome to, but I haven't quite decided if I want her to be an integral character or not.)

>Madame Meanyface. Let's ride past her real fast.

As much as you'd love to refer to her by the name you picked out in your Princess Fics, you're pretty sure she wouldn't appreciate it as much as you do.

Margaret Gaunt