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 Post subject: Re: NEW GENERAL WRITING THREAD SINCE I CAN'T FIND THE OLD ON
PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 2:33 pm 
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Tentacle Mistress
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I'm not really a fan of writing things down, but I love making up stories.

I took a creative writing class and the first unit was on poetry, this is really one of the only poems I liked that I wrote.

Doors stood empty
hinges blown off their supports
keys and chains, left unlocked and broken
the rooms enhanceable
have long since fled
but not in fear, but in acceptance.

They knew this was no prison
they know there was a point
they were locked away for their own safety
and mine own.

But when I brandished their keys
they were not set to pounce
they did not even look to me
they had just gotten up, and left.

This narrow hallway sits no more
it disappeared under the deep green foliage
and expanded into mountains
lakes, caves, hot springs, meadows
the ceiling into a ever blue sky
with a boundless number of stars
with undecided constellations
that we shall map together.

The steel and linoleum floors
now have turned into long grasses
to flowers sweet, drunk on everlasting spring time
trees stand in these ruins of empty rooms
may we never find them again.

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 Post subject: Re: NEW GENERAL WRITING THREAD SINCE I CAN'T FIND THE OLD ON
PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 9:35 pm 
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Class assignment is to write a request for proposal with multiple required sections. This is not my RFP, it's me writing down whatever popped into my head to remember what sections should be in the final paper. It's also complete nonsense.

Quote:
Introduction to Document

Writing this document in order to train dumbass staff on how to use a basic program that honestly should not need training. It is Microsoft Office you morons! You can learn it in ten minutes at most!

But this document is to solicit proposals for your high-priced company to come train our staff of idiots and further waste the company budget.

Below you will find the page key table thing that will navigate.

Introduction to Company

Our company is Boondoggle Inc. We specialize in making boondoggles. Our goal is to get a boondoggle in every household in America.

Introduction to Project

The goal is to train office staff on how to use Microsoft Office.

You will have two seconds to format a proposal.

We will pay you one million dollars for this task. Thanks Obama.

You will train our Office Staff on how to properly use Microsoft Office. You will also show them that making every single letter machine gun onto the slide with accompanying sound effects is childish and that explosions are much better.

Administrative Information

You must be fluent in Microsoft Office, C++, and Southern Mantis Crane.

You must format your proposal in a way that a child can read it. Why one is our boss I don't know.

You will keep quiet about your proposal to anyone else or we will deploy Fat Ninjas to your location. They will sneak into your house late at night and feed you burgers while you sleep so you will develop a rotund girth and heart-related problems.

You must have proof of your prowess. This will be done via Thunderdome.

We can be reached through our website, snail mail, carrier pigeon, and your grandpa's hearing aid.

You have one second remaining to submit your proposal.

We will select the winning proposal as soon as the boss's naptime is over.

We will select the winning proposal by attaching them to ferrets and then releasing a rabbit. Whichever ferret gets the rabbit is the proposal we will use. We will also attach a proposal to the rabbit in the event that it kicks the ferrets to death.

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 Post subject: Re: NEW GENERAL WRITING THREAD SINCE I CAN'T FIND THE OLD ON
PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 2:03 am 
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Had a strange idea tonight and decided to write it out. Basically, what if North America, the entire continent, had never been settled by anyone? Not only that, but there was actually a being that brutally prevented anyone from doing just that? No Native Americans, no French, no Spanish, no English.

No Vikings.

Quote:
The boats heaved under us before plunging just as quickly in the stormy sea. I held fast to the side and clutched my furs closer to guard against the screaming arctic wind. Frost coated my red beard.

Giant chunks of ice drifted by us like hulking, silent giants. If we were to get caught between two of them it would spell our end, either by being crushed or freezing in the water. An ignoble end after escaping the sinking of the longboat by the storm.

But land was in sight. Covered in ice, beaten by the storm, assaulted by the waves, but it was land. The men said nothing lest their warmth be stolen by the wind. They held their heads down and waited for the waves to bear us to safety. We were Norsemen. A little ice and cold wouldn't be enough to stop us. We'd make a sacrifice to Odin and begin exploring this new land.

The boats heaved once more and this time they soared through the air. Everyone held on tightly and braced for impact.

The wood shattered on contact with the ice and men were sent flying. More of the small boats crashed next to us, bathing all in splinters and fragments of ice. But we were all alive, praise be to Odin.

The wind abated without warning and the waves became still. The sudden silence was at once bewildering and terrifying. Weather did not change so abruptly and every man here knew it. We drew our swords and donned our shields, peering out into the hanging curtain of frost.

Without the winds to drive it, the air cleared and exposed...something.

A man in what I could only describe as black metal armor, something I had never before heard of or seen, stood upon the ice where nothing had been before. Nothing could have been before, not in this weather. It stood at attention with hands on the hilt of a sword, its large blade buried in the ground. I had never seen a weapon of that size. Ice encased the warrior, thick and clear. Whatever this was, it had not moved in a very long time.

I suddenly felt a chill run down my spine and unconsciously stepped backward.

The ice on the warrior cracked loudly, a beautiful and yet terrible sound that echoed as it broke apart and fell to the ground.

The warrior moved. He grasped the hilt of his blade and drew it forth from the iced earth with no effort. As one we raised our shields and readied to charge or defend.

No one saw the warrior move until he was past us, with three torsos severed in a brutal arc of blood and gore. Before we could turn around he had brought that terrible sword down upon another man and crushed him into the ground. His blade did not cut so much as it obliterated whatever was in its path, be it flesh, bone, or earth.

Someone yelled, in surprise or terror I don't know, and the carnage began in earnest. Shields were split in twain as easily as the men, swords shattered like their bones, and with each breath the warrior sprayed the ice with steaming, hot blood. There was no finesse, no form, the sword just swung with the certainty that nothing could oppose it.

In less than a minute we who had survived storm, fire, war, and worse, lay scattered in pieces about the ice. The black warrior stabbed his blade deep into the earth to the hilt and drew it out, now cleansed of our blood. He walked back to where he had stood and planted the tip of his blade tip first into the original gash.

I knew then, as the life faded from my severed head, that we had never stood a chance. This was not some god or demon. It was a force. The moment we had landed on these shores we had sealed our fate.

This was not Vinland and it never would be. The warrior had stood upon the land for a long time and he would continue to stand, ready to meet whoever repeated our crime. Now I understood why there were no stories about this land. Someone had to survive and return to tell them.

The winds howled once more, the storm resumed, and within minutes even the hot blood etched into ice was covered with new frost. No one would ever hear the legends of these Norsemen. These Vikings.

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 Post subject: Re: NEW GENERAL WRITING THREAD SINCE I CAN'T FIND THE OLD ON
PostPosted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 8:59 pm 
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Just came up with this found poem, taken from the words of Sam Beckett's Waiting for Godot. Commentary would be appreciated.

Found Poem: Waiting for Godot

A dog came in the kitchen
Pale for weariness
And stole a crust of bread
Night is charging
Then Cook took up a ladle
Up! Pig! On! Faster!
And beat him till he was dead
Plunged in torment, plunged in fire
Then all the dogs came running
There’s an end to his thinking!
And dug the dog a tomb
Abode of stones
And wrote upon the tombstone
The skull fading fading fading
For the eyes of dogs to come:
Alas, alas, abandoned, unfinished.

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 Post subject: Re: NEW GENERAL WRITING THREAD SINCE I CAN'T FIND THE OLD ON
PostPosted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 11:01 pm 
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We need more critiques!

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 Post subject: Re: NEW GENERAL WRITING THREAD SINCE I CAN'T FIND THE OLD ON
PostPosted: Thu Apr 25, 2013 4:23 am 
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turbo gay
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He posts, without critiquing.

People posting and not reading is a fairly common problem on forums, and not one that's easily addressed. Additionally, most of the posts here either seem to be "ideas" or "works in progress", neither of which are really at much of a stage where critique is particularly worthwhile - poetry written in twenty minutes, or eight hundred words of a super rad short story that's going to be the best I swear guys.

I'm not trying to be a bummer or saying you should or shouldn't post or whatever else. Content is good, and the more people writing the better - hell, I even agree, more critique would be a good thing. But, perhaps, not so realistic at this point in time.


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 Post subject: Re: NEW GENERAL WRITING THREAD SINCE I CAN'T FIND THE OLD ON
PostPosted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 10:33 pm 
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Chinmaster
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Got a 9 page story that I just finished that I'm gonna submit to an anthology. Anybody know a good text uploader that could handle a file of that size? I'd like to get a critique or two


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 Post subject: Re: NEW GENERAL WRITING THREAD SINCE I CAN'T FIND THE OLD ON
PostPosted: Tue Apr 30, 2013 4:32 am 
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turbo gay
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There's always dropbox


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 Post subject: Re: NEW GENERAL WRITING THREAD SINCE I CAN'T FIND THE OLD ON
PostPosted: Tue Apr 30, 2013 8:37 am 
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Chinmaster
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I wrote a thing


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 Post subject: Re: NEW GENERAL WRITING THREAD SINCE I CAN'T FIND THE OLD ON
PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 10:52 pm 
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Chinmaster wrote:


I didn't get to read much of it, but it did grab my attention. It does look very interesting.
EDIT: That story was absolutely great! I am too tired to start with literary criticism, but one thing that I felt was a bit off putting was the amount of paragraphs. It gave a sense of pace to the story, but not so much a flow.

I have been working on an idea for a game the last few months and I got a flash of creativity spurring me to start writing some sort of story introducing the setting. Any criticism is welcome. You can add comments in the file if you want to be detailed. It is still very much WIP, but seeing as English isn't my first language, I wanted to get the ball rolling with corrections and feedback early.

Google Docs FTW


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 Post subject: Re: NEW GENERAL WRITING THREAD SINCE I CAN'T FIND THE OLD ON
PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 4:00 pm 
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Hey scribes what's up it's the big dog princess brothel here

As you may or may not know I do the drawing thing

Recently I've been thinking I want to make a comic (On the web???) to improve my draw skills and comic-make skills

I don't feel like thinking up a story and since I'm not much of a writer if I did it probably wouldn't be very good, so I'd like to collaborate with someone to produce a comic.

So if you have an idea for a story and you think "Hey this would be perfect with illustrations by princess brothel" then I'd love to hear it

Preferably the story should be:
-A short one, about 300 pages
-A fun once, lot's of action and some fanservice is the direction I want to go, like a Gainax animu

That's basically it, fantasy/scifi whatever as long as it's fun. I'm not interested in some overly dramatic cop drama where every page is nothing but words.

Here's my art blog if you haven't seen any of it http://sutato.tumblr.com/

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 Post subject: Re: NEW GENERAL WRITING THREAD SINCE I CAN'T FIND THE OLD ON
PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 5:36 pm 
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Chinmaster
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HMMM WHO MIGHT THAT HANDSOME GENTLEMAN SEARCHING FOR BOOTY BE

man I'd actually probably be down for doing that kind of writing but I don't think I'd be much good at what you're describing


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 Post subject: Re: NEW GENERAL WRITING THREAD SINCE I CAN'T FIND THE OLD ON
PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 5:55 pm 
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lord shitpost
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Oh yeah I was thinking last night about an idea for a kid's show starring that little sailor chin I drew, it'd be called Sailor Chin and it's about the adventures of Sailor Chin and his friends as they look for treasure, but the treasure is like random everyday stuff and the show teaches kids how to use a screwdriver or whatever

Anyway, the point of this comic is a learning experience for everyone involved (Even the reader???) I'd be down with working with you if you've got some ideas.

Edito: I just read your Bastion story and it was really cool, I imagined it pretty vividly and could see how I'd turn some parts into a comic. Obviously other bits don't mesh with being drawn, like I'm not sure how I'd get a across the faces being normal without exposition but if that's the kinda thing you want to write I'd be pop flyin' to draw it.

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 Post subject: Re: NEW GENERAL WRITING THREAD SINCE I CAN'T FIND THE OLD ON
PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 9:23 pm 
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when you say three hundred pages do you mean like

300 comic pages?

I could try and write a thing for you maybe but what kind of wordcount do you imagine that would translate to?


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 Post subject: Re: NEW GENERAL WRITING THREAD SINCE I CAN'T FIND THE OLD ON
PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:38 am 
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lord shitpost
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ah yeah I meant 300 pages of a comic

I don't know about wordcount, I'd imagine a script for a comic would be like a screenplay

Anyway thanks but me and the chin are gonna work something out

Though I'd be pop flyin' to hear your ideas and copyrigh-critique them ;)))))

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