AWKWARD ZOMBIE

INFANTRY.

>You check your Infantry:



They are lazing about and smoking.

Take the pen and papers, and write a cryptic clue about your whereabouts to leave behind after you get around to actually opening the safe. Make several copies, and use the stapler to completely cover the room with your clues.

You start tearing books off the shelf, hoping for a secret passageway to appear that undoubtedly leads to even more treasure than the safe probably contains. All you end up with is a mess.



You open up the journal. Conveniently for narrative purposes, there is only one entry. It reads:

8-24
Successful day today. Managed to get a few more clients. One of them had the poor sense to make fun of my name, AND referred to The Doctor as "that weird big lizard-thing". Should probably tell ol' George to "take care" of that guy... heh, heh.
Police still have no idea what we're up to. Wouldn't matter if they did, not with the friends we have. Still should probably avoid suspicion.
Got a new safe to replace the broken one. Decided to also get a new journal along with it. Having trouble remembering the combo, so I'll write it down here. 15-30-12. Have to remember to white-out the combo once I've remembered it."

Wow, that guy was a psycho! What kind of person actually writes down "heh heh"? At least you got the combination. You're sure all that other stuff will never come up again, and was not exposition or foreshadowing in any way.



You decide to take a look at the other, less plot-relevant items within the desk. All that's on the important looking papers is a bunch of boring business lingo and some numbers in the high figures. Nothing you have the capability of understanding.



Since you've already raided the bookshelf, you decide to check behind it. You find a portion of the wall that looks slightly less dirty than the wall around it. All you've really accomplished is making the room slightly more of a mess by throwing the bookshelf on the floor.


You decide to take the pens and stables. You also check the papers on top of the desk. They're more or less the same as the ones inside.



You grab the plant and proceed to.. oh, wait, you have no way down. Unless, of course, you leave through the building, but you'd rather not risk that since you're already so close to your goal.



You are no "villain"! You are a daring thief! Although, not wearing gloves to a crime was, admittedly, probably one of the stupidest things you've ever done.


You add the NAME TAG to your inventory. You never know when you might need it.


You try as hard as you can to will your bleeding to stop. It turns out it take more than willpower to overcome wounds. You can't help but feel that every action movie ever has lied to you.



You use the important looking papers to bandage your bleeding hand. You still have glass in it, but at least your not getting blood on everything you touch with that hand.



You dig through the pile of books to see if any will be able to assist you. None of them look particularly interesting, but there is a large dictionary, so you take that.



You suddenly feel like going about this crime Riddler-style, but then you realize that you don't know where your going to be afterwards, and thus can't leave proper clues. You decide to stable a paper to the wall anyway. No real reason why, you just kind of felt like it.

CURRENT INVENTORY
INFINITY REVOLVER, BUSINESS CARD, BLOODIED LINT, GLASS SHARDS, NAME TAG, DICTIONARY, PLANT, STABLER, EXPENSIVE PEN

(I'm getting kind of overwhelmed here. BTW, if you want to know what the Infinity Revolver does, you could try, say, EXAMINING it. Also, since you guys seem to want it so badly, M.G. Fink can dress like Trilby. It really doesn't matter. Let me know if I've made any mistakes, although the quotes won't always be verbatim.)

OPEN THAT SAFE!

Examine the infinity revolver after opening the safe.

Examine safe's contents after examining the infinity revolver.

After the safe, examine the door to the hallway, and make sure the coast is clear. Try to ensure that little to no evidence of yourself is left behind. Make your exit with the name tag equipped.

He's fucking bleeding all over the carpet. I don't think he could have left behind more evidence if he tried.



After you open the safe, steal the contents, and leave behind a picture of your booty.

You need to figure out some way to light the place on fire so the police cannot use your blood to figure out who you are via CSI type stuff that the police inevitably will be capable of doing.

I thought the point to this robbery was to make yourself infamous. You know, the wanted posters with his face all over them..

TAKE THE SAFE WITH YOU. YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU'LL NEED THESE THINGS.

This is it! After all those pointless distraction and trashing of the room it's finally time to open that safe. You slowly put in the combination, savoring every moment, until finally you open it up to find...



You suddenly have an urge to examine your gun before seeing what's inside the safe. You take a look at your trusty revolver. It apparently uses some scientific mumbo-jumbo so it always has ammo according to the guy who gave it to you, but you couldn't understand a word of it, so as far as you care it's magic. Something seemed special about that guy though. Something about the way he demanded payment in partially used erasers and then bodaciously disappeared into thin air made you think there was something strange about him.

You didn't think about it too hard, though. After all, (sort of) free gun!



After taking a good, long look at your gun for little to no reason, you decide to finally check out the safe. Inside you find...

A small piece of paper? It reads:

"Note to self. Retrieve Riches from the Doc to put in new safe."

GOD. DAMMIT.



Regardless of the utter disappointment inside the safe, you still need to get out of here. You have nowhere near enough time to clean up the place and such, and you have no idea how you're supposed to fix a window, so the whole "no evidence" thing just isn't going to work out. At least you'll get your face on a wanted poster that way, you suppose. You attach the name tag to your clothing (despite the fact it's the kind intended for a desk) and look out into the hall. There are several other doors a long the hall, but not many. At the end of the hall are some stairs.



Burning down a building isn't something a daring thief would do! Besides, you don't even have a way to start a fire.



You decide that, since you've come this far, you might as well take the safe. Most people would find such a large safe nearly impossible to carry out easily, but thanks to the amazing powers of the "inventory", a feat like this is nothing for you! You prepare to make your leave.

Suddenly, an oldish man comes through the door!

"MY OFFICE! You thieving vandal! Do you have ANY IDEA who you're stealing from? Don't even bother trying to escape, YOUR ALREADY DEAD!"

The man takes out a button an presses it. A secret wall opens up and some sort of security bot comes out! It begins to move toward you, it's wheels leaving deep imprints in the rug. It looks like it's going to attack!

(Okay, now, guys, instead of a suggestion here, I'm going to ask you a question. There are three ways we could go about fighting in this story. We could do a psuedo (I know I misspelled that, I don't care) RPG thing, or we could do a more free-form kind of thing and go about it like we have gone about everything else thus far. Personally, I would prefer the fake RPG thing, since the commands would descend into nothing but "shoot it" over and over again anyway, but I'll leave it up to you guys.)

Inventory

Insult the old man and his robot. Shoot the gun wildly and hope you hit something.