AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I was talking with Exeres and it came up that I really enjoy sharing information and answering questions, so he suggested I do an AMA on the forum for fun.

So, Ask Me Anything. I'll do my best to give you the most educated and thoughtful response I can, whether it's a personal question (for you or for me) or an academic one. If I can't find the answer for you or explain it well, I'll try to find resources for you that you can use to learn more yourself. It doesn't have to be a knowledge question though! I'm up for whatever you're curious about.

Except my recipe. There can be only one catbread. Hisssssssssss

MASTER LIST OF COMPLETED ANSWERS (83 responses so far) (and if anyone has an idea of what to do about the space crunch, feel free; maybe I'll make a tumblr post or posts to host links to the answer collections, aah)

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Why are you the best thing ever?
If we put you in a box, is it a cat box? Or a bread box? (here)

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Is there a kind of bread you don't like?
Why are you a catbread instead of, say, a cat-pastry? cat-bagel? cat-muffin?
Na Enoch-che mere'elir na? (here)

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On a scale of 1 to Sailor Moon, how magical are you?
How do you generally respond to Cake Bears?
a/s/l (here)

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Instead of bandages and casts, can you use jam/jelly/butter to heal up cuts and attach sliced off parts? (here)

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Well I have been meaning to put jelly on someone.
Do you believe this will surpass Trenny's ask thread? Will you be the new Trenny?
Why can't I stop listening to gangsta rap?
How did you become so clever with puns such as Wry Bread?
Can you give us the Latin classification of a catbread?
What are you most delicious with? (here)

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wry did you pick catbread as your purrsona?
how is kittenbun formed
How can I bind a soul to a food product?
Are you a vampire?
Are you aware that if you had said this to a German, you would have labeled yourself as a penis? Careful next time. (here)

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May I have this dance? & Can I have a hug? & Can I have two hugs? & Can we have a group hug?
What is the air speed velocity of an unleavened swallow?
What does AMA mean? Is it just the first part of amazing? Someone has a high opinion of themselves... :I (here)

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Are you gluten-free? Are you glutton-free?
Does war ever change?
Wry, we're the best pals! You can try to get rid of me, it won't work. I've slowly ingrained myself into their academia, and soon their minds will be mine to control. Do you prefer bathing or showering, or do you just like to lay under a heat lamp all day?
Why'd you use AMA instead of Q&A? Q&A is more universal!
On scale of 1 to 10, how awkward does Kamak's question make you feel?
Do you wipe sitting down or standing up?
Were you born in an oven, or from a cat?
Do birds ever try to eat you? (here)

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Why does no one seem to like wheat bread? It tastes just like white bread to me, it's just a little dryer or something.
If there were competing AMAs would you fight against them in an MMA match until they cry for their MAMA, MMM?
It it because of the type of bread that you're made of that you have such a rye sense of humor?
Hypothetically, would you taste better with chocolate sprinkles or with a fried egg?
Do you slam with the best or jam with the rest?
What is your best childhood memory?
If dey see me rollin', why dey hatin'? (here)

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If I was a breadcreature, what would you believe I'd be? (Kamak)
So you're not a purebread?
Dear Catbread. How does one operate socks and shoes? I must know for. Diabolical reasons. MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
Metal Gear!?
How many catbread licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? & Do catbread licks feel like those ticklish licks from normal cats? & I don't know about what cats you have but mine has a sandpaper tongue. That's definitely not ticklish. (here)

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What's the meanest thing you've ever done to someone?
Can you paint with all the colours of the wind?
Which... (Movie, Book, Comic, Video game, Show) could you best replace the protagonist of?
If you were an evil villain, what would your DIABOLICALLY EVIL power be? (I may need to know this for the reasons of constructing an evil Catbread monstrosity clone.)
Can we hear you roar?
Are you better than pumpkin seed bread? Because I don't think that is physically possible.
Do you prefer Snake or Wryden?
What's the name of your true nemesis?
Do you have any friends that are made of other foods? Or do you mostly just hang out with breads? (here)

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How do you feel about it being my birthday? (here)
(Kamak's here checkin' ID. On the count of three, RUN) (here)

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Is it possible for you to mold? If so, how long would it take for it to happen in an average room temperature room?
Does all of China know you're here?
What is your peoples association with the Ritz Cheeses? & What kind of cheese would go best with you?
THE TRUTH ABOUT MY DEEP AND NONCOMPETITIVE SUPER-FRIENDSHIP WITH KAMAK
Are you friends with the steam bun bunnies? or maybe the hot cross bunnies?
Would you say your bite feels like being pinched with bread crumbs?
if you were at a breakfast celebration what kind of toast would you make
I wanna know..... Have you ever seen the rain, coming down on a sunny day? & Do you see the bad moon rising?
Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite... Would you like a toasted tea cake?
What is the percentage of bread puns in this thread?
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? & Why shouldn't you trust no backwoods, southern lawyer? (RE to previous: because he'll turn out to be the son of the devil and also keanu reeves)
Did you enjoy drawing me? & "Draw me like one of your french breads." (here)

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Total best friends and not enemies ever? Not forever, just ever? Are you trying to hide something with clever word crafting? & Yup. We're the best friends ever! Augh, you're pinching me! Good thing I'm stepping on your foot.
Are your hands healed enough to answer more questions? (here)

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How much wood could a catbread chuck if a catbread could chuck wood?
Are you bigger than a breadbox?
How's your distant cousin Tiger Pasta doing?
Why does no one else eat the ends on loaves of bread? It's not worse than any other part of the bread (Unless it's a hard loaf)!
what kinds of soups do you like to be dunked in? or are you more of a spaghetti sauce kind of person
EDIT: I thought I was looking at unimportant topics there. (here)

Why are you the best thing ever?

If we put you in a box, is it a cat box? Or a bread box?

It is entirely due to you people and your inexplicable but much appreciated and reciprocated affection.



It is both! Science tells us that catbreads, like the noble egg-laying mammals of internet fame and hilarity, display conflicting yet equally important traits; in this case, being both a cat and a bread at the same time. Whether it is actually referred to as a cat- or a bread box at any time may be up to regional lingo, much like the soda-pop-coke divide in America.

Is there a kind of bread you don't like?

Why are you a catbread instead of, say, a cat-pastry? cat-bagel? cat-muffin?

Na Enoch-che mere'elir na?

Hmmm. Not really! I think they're pretty much all good depending on how you're eating them and what you're eating them with. I favor italian bread and steak rolls, and garlic bread is one of my favorite snacks and dinner sides.

If you're asking about my established ravenous hunger for the flesh of other breadcreatures, that is.

If not, I've found sourdough to be a bit rude at times but we still get along as long as no one brings up the yeast regulations. It gets touchy.

All of those are good choices, but gosh darn it, we can't really help how we're born.

If you want the actual for-real answer, I happen to enjoy the concept of bread for some reason, and a long time ago, found that catbread icon (only without the green background I added later). I started using it as my avatar and when I met my best friend, he started calling me Catbread as a nickname because of it. The joke/nickname stuck and I've used it ever since.

Ich bin ein schlange. Just kidding, I am not a snake, that was a lie. I'm sorry for lying to you.

Also I only speak 1.6 cumulative languages and that's not one of them! So I'm double-sorry for failing you.

Erovir ieth. (It's okay/acceptable)
I would have been highly impressed if you could read that or get Google Translate to reel it out.


On a scale of 1 to Sailor Moon, how magical are you?

How do you generally respond to Cake Bears?

a/s/l

That depends! Usually we get along but it's really all up to chance and whether or not there are any slower breadcritters around to get past that pesky "food chain" issue. I find them to be an enjoyable place to nap, however.

fresh/bread/windowsill

Realistically? Most of that's in my profile and I'm sure I've mentioned before; I'm 22/female/Central US! Also, in case anyone was wondering on a probably unrelated note, I am boring to stalk unless you're into sleepy people with clumsy fishhands and a loud family.

Instead of bandages and casts, can you use jam/jelly/butter to heal up cuts and attach sliced off parts?

You could, but it's best to simply apply new dough and allow it to releaven naturally, like the great baker in the sky intended.

Why, are you intending to test that out?

Well I have been meaning to put jelly on someone.