AWKWARD ZOMBIE

he also does not eat, seems to be completely sociopathic, and doesn't speak anything beyond weird mumbling

he also doesn't have ears

which, for half of those, is impossible for humans. the other half is just very unlikely.

The whole purpose of the 'pop flyin' Birthday Onion' was to prove that he was human.

you mean the video that we didn't see, which we have no way of knowing was actually onion being born or not

Are you seriously arguing that because we didn't see it, it wasn't Onion being born?

Oh, yeah, sure, let's show a baby popping out of a woman's vagina on a kid's show, that'll be great for ratings


We also simply never saw him eat. Maybe he has eaten. You can't prove he hasn't. All you have is Steven assuming he hates food. He seems to like food quite a lot, what with sculpting it and expressing his creativity with it.

Also, someone on tumblr mentioned this and based on my personal experience with special needs kids it's something I've considered about him too: Onion is autistic. He's largely non-verbal but we can see that he considers Steven a friend.


And I mean.

Come on.

Little kids play with their food all the time. Especially when they know someone is grossed out by it.

I dunno if Onion is autistic or not, but it's definitely a theory, however I am someone who lives with a sister who has a form of Autism, and I can tell you she's largely verbal and talks a lot, she mostly repeats stuff she see's on television, but she also says words to signify what she needs and wants, however she also grabs what she wants and isn't really willing to let go of it until she finds something different to grab her attention. She is definitely curious about certain things, so the idea of Onion having Autism isn't too left-fielded considering the fact he kind of has an odd curiosity for some things.

Autism manifests differently in every kid that has it. Onion is selectively non-verbal and communicates everything through his family. Selective mutism is something that a lot of autistic people have.

Plus, like you said, he's got special interests in things that other people might find weird, like the video of his birth. I worked with a highschooler who was autistic whose special interest was phone and lawn care companies. Yeah, it's kind of weird, but it made him pop flyin'.

That actually does sound like a pretty good theory.

or making gigantic fires with a motorcycle which is almost certainly illegal for him to drive on it's own?

not to mention that, no, he doesn't speak with only his parents, he speaks a whole other language, one with sounds that i'm almost positive couldn't be translated easily into english.

especially considering his father (with all the non-human appearances of his son), who speaks that language while his human mother seems to have a cursory understanding, at least enough to understand her son and husband, but still speaks english...which her son can understand. so clearly there's some reason why he speaks his weird language instead of english, more than just 'he feels like it'.

and, yeah, alright, he's maybe not evil (maybe), but he's still pretty messed up in some way or another. taking this episode alone, sure, he's jsut a weird kid. but taking his appearance in the series as a whole, no, there's something up with him.

he is not, however, a gem. i'll agree with that.

Taking his appearance in the series as a whole maybe Onion is just the kid who sometimes gets on Steven's nerves because he wants attention, and Steven thinks he's kind of weird, but he's also a character who is there to get laughs by doing radical things like driving a motorcycle or acting like he's thinking about breaking someone's shins.


Cartoons are allowed to use characters for jokes, you know. Not knowing what Onion really sounds like when he speaks is kind of a joke in itself; the cartoon's always teasing us, making us think he's about to say something--and then they pull the rug out from under us. Or rather, smack the microphone out of our hand.

We're looking at Onion from Steven's perspective, and Steven isn't all that comfortable around him.

are you suggesting that steven is imagining onion making a GIGANTIC FIERY EXPLOSION?

because no. i can't get behind that. that is so out of character for steven that i'm surprised the thought even came into your head.

Steven seems to actively go out of his way to try to find the best in people. the only people he seems to actually dislike is onion and lars at the worst of times. i mean, hell, did you see what he did for ronaldo just to make him feel important? why would onion get on his nerves and not that?

as for just 'not hearing him speak'? he was, like, feet away form steven in onion friend. like, further from vidalia than he was steven. if steven was going to hear anything, he would have heard some actual words, not just the gibberish we've heard form him every time we've seen him speak.

and if he's not social (as in, asocial enough to not talk), then why do we constantly see him in the open? without either of his parents? not to mention THIS, (apologies, couldn't find a textless version. and for the purpose of not obscuring anything, this came after it. it excuses it somewhat, but stealing is still stealing).

i'm sorry, but even if onion is human, he's not just a weird kid.

No, I'm not suggesting Steven imagined anything about Onion.

I'm saying maybe the gigantic fiery explosion was a joke. You know, that thing that makes people laugh because sometimes bizarre and unexpected things are perceived as funny?

Ronaldo is a teenager, and Steven looks up to teenagers like any other kid his age does. Teenagers know stuff that he doesn't know. Teenagers are cool. Onion is a little kid who steals his things and doesn't speak to him.

The gibberish thing was, perhaps, maybe, again, a joke. I'd like to see jokes come back into our mainstream culture of irony someday.

Not talking doesn't mean asocial. Talking doesn't mean social.

Sometimes kids steal things. It's not right, but sometimes kids do it anyway because it's a way to get something they want. Kids are like that.

Especially since Vidalia essentially enables him by brushing most of his actions off as "expressing himself"

Also, he didn't make the explosion. He crashed the motorcycle, and the crash caused the explosion, and the boardwalk fed the fire. And I agree with Cori, it was probably just for humor.

Welp, forgetting the whole onion debacle, new episode.

Hoo boy. On the one hand we didn't learn a whole lot. But daisies was it a good session of not learning much.

Also, something I posted on reddit which I will now post here because I am a raging egomaniac.

I'm just A pearl
aaand it's official.
i like how peridot's fingers have gone form 'proably just weird fingers' to 'all-purpose magical device that does whatever the hell'

if peridot does not come back with a peg leg, and does not keep losing body parts until she's a pirate, i will be drastically upset