AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Or he could be locked up in prison... I don't know what I'm going to do if he's locked up. I won't have any more of his shenanigans to gross myself out with.

You could pose as a female Sonichu fanatic send him erotic fanmail.

If you got the information and all that, of course.

Not really. Chris is afraid of internet women now. He's made the connection between "Sexy woman looking for mate oh hey I like you let's screw" and "THE GIRL WAS A GUY THE WHOLE TIME NOOOOOO!", but he's so stupid that he's concluded that every single woman who does that is actually a guy looking to prank someone.

What?

At this point, hes probably right.

Oh, and Chris got a continuation until April 5th. It's starting to look like Chris's attorney is intent on dragging this out as long as possible. As it so happens, there's a law preventing him from pushing the hearing back more than 90 days from the previous hearing. As it just so happens, April 5th is exactly 90 days after yesterday's hearing.

The exact reason for the delay is unknown, but there are two possible scenarios. One is that Bell is stalling in the hopes that he can reach a settlement outside of court. Two is that Bell is going to drag it out as long as he's legally able, and once the trial finally begins he's going to use the time discrepancy to lessen Chris's sentence.

But if you want my opinion, Chris is going to be furious at any verdict. Chris will accept nothing short of a not guilty verdict, the court overturning his ban from the Game Place, and Snyder being hauled off to prison for attempting to frame Chris for a crime he didn't commit.

Do to stress.

I'm probably making a horrible mistake posting here, but one of the Sonic sites I followed recently put up a clip of the local news covering an old Sonic sweepstakes. Basically, the point of it was to write down the moral of the "Sonic Sez" bits at the end of the old cartoons, and send them in. Guess who won.

Apologies if this is a repost at all

pffffffffffffffft pull it out of a hat

Oh my god. That fucking made my day right there.

Not entirely peeved off but I did laugh because it's Chris. But this was back to an innocent time so whatevs, he's the happiest kid ever in that video and you know you would be too if you won.

The funny thing is less that he won this contest and more that he still refers to it as a crowning achievement, proof of his superiority to everyone else.

To be fair, he was twelve. If you were that age and had a thousand dollars you'd spend it on video games as well. And it was the high point of his life. I know for a fact that the other winner, a six year old girl from Texas, also spent her prize cheddar on toys. Granted she took her classmates to a toy store, divided up the cheddar, and let her fellow students buy what they wanted, but it was still spent on toys.

I know a lot of people that think that this event was the point at which Chris lost his chance at being normal. It's also not too hard to conclude that this could be where Chris developed his belief that he ought to be showered with praise and rewards for performing minor tasks.

Except I think it had already happened by that point. Chris developed his work ethic between the ages of one and six like the rest of us. Except Chris was rewarded with toys for the simple task of speaking. Chris's actual point of no return came when he was nine, when the Nathaniel Greene Elementary School Incident happened and Chris lost out on a chance to go to a corrective facility for children with autism.