AWKWARD ZOMBIE

HEY KIDS, GUESS WHAT
.......
THAT'S RIGHT, MORE SONICHU PAGES
I apologize in advance for no commentary, I am not funny, nor do I have appropriate funny pictures

Oh god that woman

It looks like everyone is in physical pain

But I actually laughed a bit when the newscaster shoved away the table. Though that's probably yet another thing Chris decided to rip off for himself.
sigh

Basically, all of the witnesses, people on trial, and really... pretty much everyone in the series are over the top caricatures and weirdos that you (and Phoenix, sometimes) can't believe would really exist in the real world (I.E. Too dumb to live, excessively obnoxious, does not know how computers work but is the CEO of a computer company, etc.).

And that's basically Chris, only, he actually does exist in the real world.

TL;DR version, His mannerisms and antics would fit right at home in a series known to have characters with weird mannerisms and antics.

And this thought all occurred to me when I thought of how his court case must be proceeding.

EDIT:



It's from Family Guy. The instant I saw the second channel I was like "No... he's not really..."

But he did.

And wasn't Blachu (or whatever he was called)... evil? When the hell did he become just another boring good guy? Granted, he was cliche to begin with, but did he even get "turned good" in the comic or did he just decide to stop hating Chris one day because of how wonderful he is?

And why do I even care about this? My head hurts.

It's inaccurate to call him "evil". Remember, the last comic involved someone "heroically" face raping someone to near-death for a minor offense. Also the closet-to-evilest thing he ever got around to doing failed horribly and ended with him being lynched.

In case you haven't noticed, this is supposed to be the designated fanservice episode. When he drew this, he'd already been under siege from ED for a year or so, and...well, ED had torn his homophobia several new orifices. So this episode is just him screaming I AM STRAIGHT ED, CAN YOU SEE HOW STRAIGHT I AM? IF I WERE GAY, WHY WOULD I BE DRAWING STRAIGHT-ORIENTED FANSERVICE? and stuff like that. Blachu is inexplicably a protagonist now because Chris needed to pair him with a female to prove that he wasn't gay.

I actually didn't mean like morally evil, more that he was a designated antagonist (since he opposed the "protagonists" of the story).

And I know this is a futile thing to ask, but couldn't have have paired Blachu up with a brand new "original" character to be his evil girlfriend or something? Or, you know, just not paired the evil guy up with anyone? I mean, Comic!Chris is looking for an HONEST AND TRUE girlfriend, so wouldn't it be reasonable that someone that opposes Chris would NOT find love/wind up being gay?

Whoops, there I go again, thinking things through rationally in regards to Chris.

One is that making a new OC or two for pairing reasons would be too much work for Chris, who always takes the path of least resistance without any regard to logic. Two is that Chris doesn't mind other men so long as they pair off with girls that he's not interested in. Unfortunately Chris is interested in all women, so he hates men with a passion.

Three is that for the purposes of this story, Blachu is his stand-in Sue and as a result needs to not be evil or gay.

I thought Chris had about 3 or so other characters for that. Why does he need even more?

Granted his ego is huge, but even then shouldn't one stand-in be enough?

Since Ultra-Bidoof is Chris' alter ego, what'll happen to him if Chris goes to jail?
DON'T LEAVE US BIDOOF.


Look at all these old jokes I got.

Ultra Bidoof isn't chris.


He's just omniscient. Nothing special.

Wait, so Mike really was hit by the car? And they only charged Chris and his mom with assault and not battery? Assault is the intent to harm, battery is the physical harm. Both are felonies. Oh, and cop cars tend to have cameras that record what happen around them. Good chance both of them are on video attacking the cops, which carries its own special charge.

This is probably the end of Chris and the Internet's relationship with him. His mom is going to prison, Chris'll go to prison if not a mental health facility, and that'll be that.

maybe he'll end up normal now
or at least have him not be a complete retard

Nobody would touch him in prison.

If it's truly a mental problem he has, then this isn't even an option. To be released from a mental facility is even harder than a normal prison, because with a prison you have a set sentence with opportunity to reduce it via good behavior (if eligible for parole).

With a mental health facility, they keep you there until they deem you fit for return to society. Meaning you're capable of handling your neuroses without being likely to return. From what I've seen of Chris, he can't do that. bodaciously incapable of it. If he goes in, I doubt he'll come back out.

And oh yes they would Grye. He would not only be touched, but he would be a favorite target.

I don't see prison as a possibility. A good portion of their charges can be argued away due to circumstances and misunderstandings, and the hit and run charge could be reduced if their lawyer knows what he's doing. I don't see them getting away completely unscathed, though.

As for why they weren't charged with both assault and battery, assault is also announcing an intent to harm. For all I know it's for Chris yelling nonsense at Mike before leaving the store.


You'll understand why he needed Blachu as a standin soon enough.