AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I'm no legal expert but here's how I think things will go. Chris's lawyer will be able to argue the trespassing charge and Barb's cop assault charge away. He's going to have trouble with the other charges though.

Depending on what the "assault" consisted of (announcing an intent to cause harm counts as assault), Chris might get away with that too. Either someone misunderstood "FOR THE INTERNET" or Barb took control of the car from him.

As for the hit and run charge, the best case scenario is that they only have to pay Mike's legal/medical fees. And from what I hear, ChrisBarb barely managed to pay Bob's funeral expenses. And they're both compulsive spenders who just took a significant hit to their already meager income. Repeat: This is the best case scenario.

Chris's monthly tugboat is going to have a hard time getting him out of this one. I'd guess that neither him nor Barb have mush in the way of savings because of their packrat buying habits.

And we all know Chris would never, in a million years, consider selling the junk in his room to pay for some of the expenses.

Who the hell would buy it?

He's got a ton of games in there that are barely used, along with trading cards and toys. Someone's bound to want his stuff.

After it's been sterilized.

Heavily sterrlized.

Chris doesn't know how to appraise things. His logic is that the age of an object is directly proportionate to its value and that "mint condition" means "I've taken really good care of them, yes I've taken them out of their boxes but that shouldn't matter". So he starts selling his old Power Rangers toys for like fifty bucks. And Bob's old TV for $250.

Also, he was once convinced to sell a few dozen of his old games. Some of his older games are in such terrible condition that nobody would buy them, even at a reduced price. I think he made less than three hundred dollars, and some of that wasn't even hard cash, he was just returning some PS3 games he never played to Target for store credit that he immediately used on more games that he'll never play.

Ohhh, interesting~

What I am wondering is why the fuck is Chris legally allowed to drive?!

I would think they would, like, cancel it THE FIRST TIME HE TRIED TO RUN SOMEONE OVER?

Also someone found Mrs. Snyder's facebook. According to her, Mike had to go to the hospital due to knee injuries and she's rustled that Chris and Barb weren't held for that long. Someone should tell her that Chris had an I WANT MY MOMMY fit in his cell, I bet it'll cheer her up.


He's never intentionally tried to run over anything other than a snake, and that took him three tries. He was so proud of himself.

That poor snake.

:'(

Haha, Chris at 0:06 and 0:16
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsqiSknjHK8

D:
That poor snake. Ugh...why would he even want to do that?