AWKWARD ZOMBIE

THIS IS ONE OF CHINMASTER'S FAVORITE GAMES OF ALL TIME HOLY SHIT


fuckyesfuckyesfuckyesfuckyesfuckyesfuckyes


HELL YEAH TIME TO CELEBRATE OUR TRADE SHIP COMING IN

TRANSLATION: WE GONNA BE RICH, BITCHES


Oh fuck the ship sank and the dude holding the debt is gonna put my family into slavery

For some reason


TOO BAD THIS MAD BASTARD GOT AWAY AND NOW HE'S OUT TO KICK SOME booty


IF YOU AIN'T DUTCH, YOU AIN'T MUCH


The captain of the ship I signed onto turns out to be a gigantic raging douche

So I steal the fuck out of his ship


BAM

Dutch Flyut: One of the shittiest pirate ships in the water


Wow, what a shit-hole. Let's go talk to the governor and tell him what an awful job he's doing


Well I mean I'm all for kicking the shit out of the Spanish but I don't know about all this "not fighting the French" business


HELL YEAH LET'S GO KICK SOME booty


Oh yeah first ship battle of the game. Just gotta get in close so I can...


Wait fuck this ship is so shitty. This dude is sailing circles around me. MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE STARTED IN HARD MODE LOL


FUUUUUUCCCCKKK


I'm not entirely sure why they'd vote me captain when I just got my booty handed to me in the first battle of my career but hell I'm not gonna argue


Hell yeah, Sloop. Much better for pirating. I will dub it the "Sloop Dogg" later


Military Payroll? I like the sound of that


Managed to get in close enough to board this time instead of letting them circle me and shoot me full of holes. Man the Flyut is shit.

READY

FIGHT


GET MONEY
GET PAID


Pirate raiders, huh? WHAT A BUNCH OF CHUMPS

Their ship is better than mine though.


DON'T MIND IF I DO


YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH


LET'S FUCKIN DO THIS THING


Long story short- Beat the shit out of him and stole his ship

Unfortunately, I don't have enough crew for both ships.

I'm sorry Sloop Dogg. I'm sure some other pirate will make you very pop flyin'


Fuck, I don't need this right now. I think I have like, 5 crew members? Not really enough to go fighting the Spanish army. Time to go back to St. Martin to see what the Governor is gonna give me for being such a fucking boss


Yeah you bet your booty he is


Good timing, because I barely had enough men to pilot my Sloop, much less this thing


WALK IN THE CLUB


WHOOPS FORGOT TO TURN OFF ALL THIS SWAG SO ALL THESE HARDASSES WANT A PIECE OF THIS ACTION

YELLING


TUNE IN NEXT TIME

Oh shit, this game.

I know I have a disc somewhere of it why don't I have that installed fuck it's so awesome.

Capslock is cruise control for cool.

I was going to start an LP for this soon..
I can wait,
I love this game ect ect your awesome

Man, don't come in rainin' on this glorious seafaring parade.

I have been meaning to play this on a friend's account, it's one of his favorite games as well. I am looking forward to more.

I meant no rain to befall his parade

YEAH SUCK IT, JACK RACKHAM

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE


Hey remember that pirate hunter from before?



Lol whoops back down to an embarassing number of crew again

I think the ship I stole came out of this port...


I'VE GOT YOUR NUMBER, LAFITTE


More military payroll? You dudes need to learn about electronic transfers, man. Otherwise shit like this happens


BEING A PIRATE IS RAD AS HELL


I'VE GOT YOU NOW, LAFITTE


And this is what happens when you fight a named pirate without much crew


YOU'RE MINE, LAFITTE (pt. 2)

(man I am really lucky people keep swinging by the deserted islands I keep getting marooned on after fucking with people who probably shouldn't be fucked with yet)


This game is sometimes a little silly


BETTER SHIP

LOTS OF MONEY

DOES LIFE GET ANY BETTER


Why are all these famous pirates coming out of the woodwork

It's like they want me to go gunning for them or something


ROOOOOOOOBEEEEEERRRRRRRRTSSSSSS


LET'S DO THISSSSSSSS


Jesus Christ, again?


Is it now?


The Spanish? Invading a French town?

NOT ON MY WATCH


AW YEAH KICKED THE SHIT OUT OF AN ENTIRE SPANISH ARMY

WHAT NOW, BITCHES


Man, you just don't get along with anyone do you


OH SHIT TIME TO GET SOME MORE OF THIS SWAG ON

ERRBODY IN THA CLUB GETTIN TIPSY


Not pictured: Chinmaster buying pieces of a map from shady dudes in a tavern. I think I actually know where this is though.


Here we go


What the fuck, where's all the swashbuckling. This had better be worth it.


Yesssss mo' moneyyyy


MAKE IT RAIN ON THEM HOES


Hey it's that shady dude I bought the map pieces from. How's it goin', man.


You know what

I'm not even going to show all the famous pirates I fuck up because there's just going to be way too many of them (because I am so awesome)


THAT'S IT

ONCE I GET A BIGASS ARMY AND THIS CITY HAS SLIGHTLY LESS DEFENSES

HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT'S GOING TO GET SACKED

If you beat the guy who kidnaps your family, you get the best ship in the game.

EDIT: Hey look at me be a massive dick

Seriously though Spanish Warships aren't really that good

Yeah, sack the shit out of that city!

Are you from 4chan?

If this is for me, then no.
Why?

Man, do I look like a fuckin errand boy to you


DUTCH BROTHERS

WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE


I'll grant you a painless death


Oh yeah I guess I was searching for my family or whatever

THANKS SHADY GUY. YOU'RE THE BEST FRIEND I'VE EVER HAD


Alright, I made it all the way to Cummana, and-

CURSE YOU RAYMONDOOOOOOOO


HA HA

YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME, RAYMONDO


YEAH BITCH THAT'S WHAT YOU GET


WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT


Oh well. At least I got a bunch of gold and a ship that'll sell for a lot


Thanks, shady guy. Now I can get back at him for giving such an unbelievably shitty map


Wait, didn't I just get done kicking the shit out of him and stealing his ship

How the hell did he get all the way up there


Looks like the crew is starting to get unhappy. I'll probably divide the plunder pretty soon


There, found you again Raymondo. Stop making me chase you all over the Caribbean


Why do I have a feeling that this is going to be happening a lot


FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF


SIGH

No, it's not your fault, shady dude. I just really hate this guy

(I'm not going to show every time I kick this dude's booty)


FINALLY

I should probably divide the plunder though. She's lasted this long. She'll keep a few more months.


DRINK TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT, LADS

YOU'VE EARNED IT


UH OH LOOKS LIKE BLACKBEARD WANTS A PIECE OF THIS

LET'S OBLIGE HIM SHALL WE


FUCK

YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH


Ah, how I've missed it


Hell yeah, got myself a Frigate

These are pretty much the biggest hardasses in the sea apart from Large Frigates and Ships of the Line


Whelp guess it's time to go get my sister or whatever



Man you can't even tell me this isn't heartwarming as shit

GUESS WHO'S GONNA GET FUCKED UP NEXT

(how does she know where this dude is if she's been in a shack in the middle of nowhere)


MONTALBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN


THAT'S RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKER, SHIT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN


My name is Chinmaster, you kidnapped my family, prepare to die


HOW AM I SO AMAZING


I wonder when their military actually got paid last


Might as well head back to St. Martin, I guess


Found Raymondo again

Jesus fucking christ


HOLY HELL

CHECK OUT THOSE TRACTS OF LAND


UH OH

LOOKS LIKE SANTA MARTA'S ON THE LIST TOO


Well this one should be pretty easy at least


Wow

It's just like

Right fucking there


AW YEAH FOUND MY UNCLE

WHAT A BRO

TIME TO TEACH THAT MARQUIS ANOTHER FUCKIN LESSON


Wait a second. That map I got from him the first time I fought him...

I think I know where this is. I think I'll kick the shit out of him in his ship first though because I think it's funny


YEAH GURL YOU KNOW YOU WANNA GET WIT DIS


Classy


Henry Morgan: most notorious pirate in the Caribbean

SOON TO BE MY TITLE


And he falls to the same trick as the rest


JUST YOU AND ME NOW MR BONNET

BEST WATCH YOUR booty

It would be more efficient to keep punching the map guy in the face until he gives you all the map pieces he has.

What half these pirates think after their at-sea asskicking.