AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Episode One: Buzzfeed Personality Quiz: Which Pokemon Are You?



What a lovely day in......generic Pokemon Land I guess.

Here we see Totodile sending his lover a heartfelt letter and also possibly nudes.

It's less steamy in this context because, as we all know, Totodile is always nude.



Pelipper understands the implications and scurries off to deliver the letter and go home to drink.

Yes, today smells of a certain smell

The smell.....



OF ADVENTURE



Let's begin, shall we?

Welcome to Pokemon Mystery Dungeon!

Oh hey, there's Pelipper again! I guess Totodile has a thing for that Cubone.

That or Pelipper just made a horrifying mistake.

Anyways, call me Pendleton Ward because it is mother fucking adventure time.



Oh god why does every Pokemon game start with me trapped in a dark room with a mysterious voice?

Am I dead?

Did I die and go to hell?



OK so Purgatory at least.



Oh god it IS hell.

Buzzfeed is here.



I think I will have RNGesus answer for me actually.



Lord be merciful with your answers.



Oh shit

umm

IN FIVE YEARS I SEE MYSELF STILL OVERWEIGHT AND ALONE BUT I HAVE MY OWN APARTMENT?



No, if anything I eat FASTER now I think.



OK fine RNGesus I'll be a good person and turn it in.

GEEZ



Only so I can pretend to get scared and grab my SO's butt for comfort

Incidentally I haven't been to a haunted house in years.



Only a little and then I'll realize that putting water in a bucket for no reason is stupid and why the hell am I doing this



Yeah I want to have FUN on my vacations. Alone, thank you very much.

Other people want to go do things that are different from the things I want to do and that SUCKS



idk, mastur-

I mean

Hang around vacantly.

Yeah.



Imagination is for the weak.



HeheheheheHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH



Well I do enjoy Sweet foods and don't really like Sour.

....That's a Pokemon joke, get on my level scrubs.



The game tells me as I make this LP to avoid doing homework.



Oh great RNGesus gave me a WORK ETHIC



NOW this is starting to sound more like me IRL



Yeah if you count "bailing on movie night three weeks in a row" as not showing up on time, STACY



Yeah if you count "I had to eat that jumbo popcorn bowl by myself like an animal" as things not turning out as expected, STACY



Hey lay off man, it makes me feel better!



Oh fuck you, you don't know my life

Also hurry up already



I am an angry ball of sass and I like it that way.



Please be something cute please be something cute please be something cute



I CAN LIVE WITH THIS



Ideally Rihanna but that's a long sho-



Oh.

That.

Welp, RNGesus says Treecko and I can live with that too.



A sassy tree lizard to follow around a sassy cat?

I've got just the thing.



You're welcome [CN]



Quite bodaciously this time!



AWW SHIT HERE WE GO



OK MORE DARKNESS FIRST COOL



Actually dreaming all day WOULD be my ideal adventure.



Oh god YESSSSS perfect for napping



.....LESS perfect for napping.



If you're not here to sell me Girl Scout cookies leave me the hell alone



The strange voice isn't saying anything but I still feel their presence.

Like my looming sense of existential dread.



I'm not interested in finding Jesus or Xenu or the other Jesus or whatever thank you good-bye



Oh god is it the fuzz

Maybe I SHOULD wake up.



Officer I swear I can count backwards from 10 just let me sober up fir-

Oh.



Yeah that's why I ALWAYS think when waking up.



What is it with Pokemon games also carting me away while I'm peacefully sleeping?



OK maybe I had one too many margaritas last night



Hi Tate

You are a Treecko

And I can understand you

That must have been one HELL of a margarita.



Oh god I didn't wander into a upstanding member of society convention did I?

We're both human beings right?



That's what it says on my birth certificate.



Come to think of it I do have an extra dangly-ball tail that I don't recall having before.



What the hell did those margaritas HAVE in them?



Time to make ALL the cat puns.



I'm running out of alcohol jokes.



Hey man you're a bipedal grass gecko let's not start throwing around the weird card.



Oh god. The moment of truth for every black-out drunk.



It's coming back to me......



Yeah that's it.



Something the matter green boy?



Why you little-



Gasp!

Is that the call to adventure I hear?



IT'S TIME TO ROLL BITCHES



Oh it's just a Butterfree

I-I mean what seems to be the problem?



Hardcore!

I mean oh no.....



Well daisies

Fissure is a one-hit KO move.

I'm sorry for your loss.



OK but you have wings??????



And Butterfree continue to be useless. Great.



Have you never played a Pokemon game before?



Earthquakes are the leading cause of Pokemon rage

It's a science fact.



FLY

IN THERE



Well I can't exactly leave Mom to have a panic attack over here.

Let's go get the little tyke.



And we'll do so in the next episode!

Bye now!

oooooohhhhh this is where the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon screenshots you sent me were from.


truth

*SLAMS*
*HEAD*
*ON*
*KEYBOARD*



Note: 3 out of 1 Riolu agree that the playthrough doesn't have enough Riolu.

Episode Two: Naturally Occurring Cave Stairs and Ice Cream



Time to go rescue a tiny insect from dying.

Because apparently today is Opposite Day in Katieland.

Also I'm very sorry Tate but my safety takes priority over yours. You're a big boy, you can handle yourself.



Aww, look at the cute lil sleeping Pidgey

He must be destroyed



I am definitely appreciating the fact that things don't like to hit me now that I'm fucking adorable.



Looks like Wurmple wants to eat shit next.



Apparently this one isn't taken so easily to my feminine wiles.



Also there was a Sunkern and he was unimportant and stupid.



Psh, yeah right, I'm blowing this on ice cream the second we get out of here.



I CAN FEEL THE POWER



Jesus did I just say "giggle"?



Tate got a little bit better at the weird lizard stuff he does, too.



WHAT

No fair, I want to learn Absorb!



You are dead to me.



As we all know, caves have naturally occurring stairs.

It's a science fact.



SUPER

HOT

SUPER

HOT

SUPER

HOT



Assholes just never learn.



Awwww shit now Tate can have an ice cream too!



Another Sunkern eats the dust and nobody cares because nobody even likes Sunkern.



OK baby Caterpie has fallen down at least two flights of stairs at this point, call a goddamn ambulance.



Because we're Call of Duty up in this bitch.



YOU MOTHERFU-



zzzzMomstophittingmeI'llgetupinfivemoreminuteszzzzz



Exeggcute forgot that I am at my most pissy and dangerous when someone interrupts my naps.

I'd overthrow the North Korean government if it meant I get another hour of sleep.



MOTHERFUCKER I WAS GONNA TAKE THAT

Oh you are a dead worm.



I'll just be taking that thank you very much



So where's the naturally occurring wheelchair-accessible ramp, huh?

Someone didn't think through the architecture of this cave very well.



Oh hey, it's alive!

Apparently Caterpie is immune to stairs, who knew!



Oh god it's crying, I am no good with this.



Oh god Tate take the wheel, I can't handle crying children



That's right, listen to the reptile and come with us.



Oh good lord it suffered brain damage on the way down the stairs.



Yeah maybe lead with that next time.



Let's ditch this hole already, I want my ice cream.



We accept cash or credit.



I'm sorry, that's OK?!?!?

Do you like risking your life with no compensation?

That's not how we do it in America(?)



Actually yeah I am relieved we didn't find him as a little green goop as well.



Well I guess networking is never a bad thing.



AKA the weird one.



AKA the cute, mysterious, and popular one that also has really good hair and lots of friends and suitors.



I know right, I'm pretty much the best.



Senpai will never notice you though.



Nope. I am pulling the brakes on this fanboy right now.

I've seen The Incredibles, I know how this one goes.



Oh what the hell, maybe a little praise isn't so bad.



Stop giving me that look, Tate

I do have a conscience



You're welcome but I still don't want your fan letters, just saying



NOW we're talking

Hit me with that sweet payment



Tate is about to open his mouth and say that we weren't actually promised an Oran Berry

I tell him to shut up and take it.



Oh hell yes keep em coming



Does this mean I can give Tate some sick burns and it won't affect him?

Because I have SO MANY



Later nerds



Just be glad you caught me in a particularly altruistic mood.



Yeah you did pretty OK yourself

You know, for a lizard



Well there's a double scoop with my name on it at Cold Stone and I intend to collect.



Of course now it occurs to me that I don't know where the nearest Cold Stone is.

And also I don't think they let small PANK cats into the store.

And also I left my apartment keys in my human pants.



Well I haven't had any reason to suspect you of being an axe murderer yet, so sure.



I should warn you that I snore like an Exploud, so enjoy.

Let's see what we've got here.



Apparently Tate lives in a Spongebob Squarepants-booty house.



Fortunately for him I am deeply in love with Spongebob.



I seem to have temporarily forgotten the word "fangirl".



Apparently we also live in an alternate universe where humans do not experience joy.



ONLY POKEMON MAY KNOW HAPPINESS IN THIS WORLD



GIVE IN TO THE BEAST WITHIN

OK maybe this got a little too dark



I'm glad this crisis of identity ended smoothly.



Wait, who was I again?

Like, before I was Skitty?

Ah well. Doesn't matter I suppose.



I'm impressed you can afford your own house.



In the immortal words of my childhood hero

I'M READY



At any rate I like not sleeping out in the cold.



Oh shoot I need to get some change of address forms, I might be missing all my fashion magazines.



Sorry, who?



The Mayans were wrong

They were wrong by five whole years.



Where are you going with this



That's a good goal probably but what does this have to do with me?



Good luck with the Middle East



Why are you getting all nervous all of a sudden

You sound like you're trying to propose, and honey I do not think you have a big enough rock for that.



Can we still sign a prenup



I guess I have nothing better to do with my time.



Yay for staving off boredom while I figure out how the hell to get back home.



First order of business: Rescue the ice cream from Cold Stone

This is MISSION CRITICAL



Oh yeah it might help establishing a brand if we're going to make a franchise one day.



We need something that tells the world exactly who we are.

And I have just the thing.



HELL YES



I like your enthusiasm but put more sass into it.



Next stop, Cold Stone!



ACTION POSE





Katie was obviously the leader and no one argued this and she was the best leader of Team Sassy ever



See you guys later!

>Not playing Explorers of Sky even though it is objectively the best game of all existence past and present and future

Wow loser lame get gud taste lololololololololololo

I have never actually played or seen a playthrough of the original games so this might be interesting I guess, proceed

Sssssilly humansss, ssssoon our conquesssst will be absssssolute


I made a joke earlier about it being illegal or just frowned upon to kick a noisy child (3 hours into the incessant joyful screaming, in a public place). you think i can handle babies


: ) come with usssss, you ssssshall not be harmed.


:O u wretch


his spongebob squarepants-booty booty


totally did not read that as rock, i was like "daisies KATIE THIS IS A POKEMON LP CALM YOUR TI- oh wait, yeah. i can read"


HERE'SSSS TO THE FURTHER ADVENTURESSSSSS OF TEAM SSSSSASSSSSSSSSSSSSY

why so many S's, why have you done this to my lizard men joke

THIS LP GETS A SOLID # OUT OF &*
DOESN'T UPDATE OFTEN ENOUGH

Not dead

I've just been working a lot more hours at work lately on top of school

OK actually maybe dead

Update soon, loves~

rip katie

199?-2017
"she ded"

Hahaha what nerd wrote this garbage LP

UPDATE UPDATE U P D A T E

To encourage you, I'll provide you the artwork that accompanied the revival of my own world-famous Crystal Let's Play

I regret this and many other LPs

Except Animal Crossing

I regret Animal Crossing. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT