AWKWARD ZOMBIE

THIS IS WHY VOICE ACTORS WERE NEEDED.


Is this thing on? Hello? Marco!

You're supposed to say Polo.


"And as the sun descended, I came to realize... my life is worth nothing at all. I gazed intently at the setting sun, not letting it out of my sight. I would find you again someday, sun. When I found my purpose. The reason I am in this god-forsaken world. I will meet you again."


I am not even making that joke.


HOLY FUCK YOU'RE NOT THE SUN

----------------------------------------------------

Okay so yeah. Pokemon Let's Play. How boring.
THE TWIST IS
I WILL BE USING MINE AND CORI'S ORIGINAL CHARACTERS instead of the default game characters.
But I'm too lazy to edit screenshots so pretend they look like this, okay?



Starter pokemon and names (for the characters) already decided.
What we'll need is names of wild pokemon and such. I don't care about a naming theme, go wild.

UPDATE AFTER NEXT POST OR SUCH. IDK. Go ahead and bitch at me for being predictable I love doing Let's Plays.

INDEX
Update 1
Update 2
Update 3
Update 4
Update 5
Update 6
Update 7
Update 8
Update 9
Update 10
Update 11
Bugsy Battle
Update 13

A reminder here that I can't or probably won't update on weekends.

THIS IS TERRIBLE AND IT'S GOING TO FAIL.

Now that that's out of the way, we can all enjoy this LP.

oh i see how it is
u just wanna do your kawaii romances don't you squidward

and leave my characters out of it

Why isn't the twist dicks.

why would you want a twisted dick, that's awfully morbid


Sup bitches.


I woke up in the middle of my room oh my g--
Actually this happens fairly often. One time I woke up outside in the bushes without my pants on.


Define "awake." I'm mobile, at least.



What a pussy.


Ugh, did he find my socks in his lab again? I told you that wasn't my fault.



Patricia I've been here for four months now. There are only like what, four buildings in this entire town? I know where it is.


If you mean my good looks, my charming personality, my kickass fighting skills, and my taser, I'm all set.


I always wanted to ask you why I have this if I'm not a trainer.


SEE YA PAT, I'M OFF TO DO SOME CHORES ugh.


Blue rodents!



Baby come back.


And then he left. Couldn't even look me in the eyes.
...not even a simple hello. Sigh.


Oh boy someone new to bother!!



Nothing I was just bothering you.


THAT LITTLE ASSHOLE I'M GONNA GO TEAR HIM A NEW ONE LET ME AT HIM I'LL
calm down Greylin. Anger management, remember. Deep breaths...


Professor Elm you have some sort of tumor growing outside your lab. You should check that out.


I know you stay up late at night doing things with your assistants, but I never asked because I didn't want to hear what the yelling was about.



"And sometimes, they were eaten. Tragic, it was."


He's not my friend he didn't even say hello!








...wait, isn't my so-called "friend" already doing that? What the hell do you need me for?


I want a Tyranitar. Right now. Chop-chop.


PAY ATTENTION TO ME


Talking to your computer doesn't help.




"One time he sent me an example of Metagross stool. It was... unpleasant."


"And not poop."



If it is another egg, can I make myself an omelette?



The last person who asked that ended up dead in a gutter.
So, yeah. You can count on me.


Oh boy.





DUH DUH DUH DUHHHHHH


YAAAAAAYYYY DENTURES



"Well then you're fucked. See ya!"

THE ADVENTURE BEGINS

Now 'tis time to go out into the wild blue yonder and beat up some magical wild animals

REMINDER: I'll need naming ideas for, at the very least, a sentret! I am planning on catching one after all. Any others if you give me good names for them I'll catch them.



Awww, lookit little Dentures being all confused. Let's go bite some people's heads off, Dentures.


Drugs?



Drugs!


But Dentures is strong.


"...because Professor Elm sure as hell isn't gonna help you."


Oh great it's that dick.


Can I call you Ozzy? I'm gonna call you Ozzy. Seems like a good name for someone like you... Ozzy. Yeah.


He'll gnaw your face off.


He'll cutely gnaw your face off.
While being cute.


Why do we need to do research if the outcome is already known, again??


MAYBE YOU SHOULD TURN AROUND AND TALK TO ME SOMETIMES


Nobody ever listens to me...
Also, not my mom. Foster mom. Named Patricia. Get it right.


You should see him when he's devouring pigeons whole.


Also I got my Pokegear, yadda yadda, learned how to use the phone...



Oh Dentures you're so cute.

Speaking of Dentures...




It's dark out here.


UUUUGGGHHHH FINEEEE



...so call you maybe?


This is an amusing screencap so I'm posting it.


WHOA BABY




"maybe I shouldn't have attacked the blue crocodile monster"
no silly sentret that is hindsight.


Yay Dentures!


...ONLY I GET TO LEADDDDDDDDDD

Okay Greylin calm down he didn't know it's ok--

Oh fuckdammit.


Professor Oak had level 5 pokemon and he wasn't a rookie trainer. Maybe I just started anew.


YOU DON'T KNOW ME
YOU DON'T KNOW MY STORY







And then I pounded him and took his shoes.



It wasn't me I swear! Dentures made me do it!


I hit you a little too hard, didn't I.


"Just so you never find your way back here you punkass little kid"


DENTURES NO STOP IT




Adventuuuuure!


I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T TAKE HIS WALLET I TOOK HIS SHO-- oh.
Hello.


You have bad taste.


You'll never take me alive, coppers!!

So I knocked him out and took his apricorns.





NEXT TIME ON LPHG: MR. POKEMON AND BATTLING OUR RIVAL

(seriously. nickname suggestions pls.)

So Garrett comes into the story in the next update?

Catch and Abra. Name it Armand.
OR:
Spearow, name it Monty.
Bellsprout, name it Wikileek.
Spinarak, name it Boris.
Ghastly, name it Geist.
Ekans, name it Mr. Classy.

please

I WILL TAKE THOSE INTO CONSIDERATION
chances are, i won't be using a pokemon you need to trade to evolve because i can't trade! but i can still catch them.


also here is a dentures
he has a nice PANK ribbon-scarf

I like this

Sentret, name it Timone.

yes abloobloo
yes he will
and he will be even more of a little shit since he's a teen/kid/whatever

in other news, I'm patiently awaiting the day that she will catch a Growlithe and name the sweet little flamepuppy after Hal uwu

...oh my god Dentures stop that you're making awful clacking noises
I just fed you


IT WAS I!!




Whose Offspring Was It Anyway?
This looks like a case for Maury.


So I just put a very fragile, very breakable egg into my bag. Yup.



WELL NOW YOU CAN AHURRDURRDURR


I bet he'll say "no fucking clue."



Isn't that Professor Rowan or something?


I guess I have to.


Sure why not. I could use a nap t--
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ


Wha what happened.


Sorry I forgot to take my meds this morning.


PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEE



Really because I sure as hell don't.



Yup.


Do you not see the blue gator with feathers sticking out of its mouth? Eh, whatever, your funeral.


blah blah pokedex blah blah encyclopedia blah


YAY



But I always forget to turn my phone on.


Okay fine we'll do what YOU want. For once.






Aw jeez I wasn't even there and something bad happened.


OH MY GOD HELP I'M GONNA--


--die.
That wasn't so bad.



Despite all my rage, I am still just a gator in a ball that acts as a cage.


We're almost home Dentures.




Excuse me I think the medieval era wants your hairstyle back.


Seriously. When I catch a Pinsir I'm gonna have it chop that ponytail right off, snipsnip. You'll fit in better in society.
Also Dentures is gonna chomp your booty now.


Aw but Dentures just ate!


THAT'S NOT WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE AT ALL IGNORE THAT


...ahahaha I guess beggars can't be choosers.


Let's test this baby out.




Get out of the way or we'll break your kneecaps.



(cori drew this)



A bit, yeah.


I don't really care.


You might want to dig your pokemon out of the ground before it takes root then.




Oops, I'm sorry. It just fell into my hand.


Yeah, how the hell do you even pronounce your family name? Seriously.


Do-ah-veen... do-ahv-ig-nay... tell me. Hey. Quit walking away.


Honey I'm home
and I brought Dentures



Missing poke-- oh.
Oh.




FOR ONCE IT WASN'T ME!


I love you Ozzy.
...just for the record I battled a dude with a Chikorita I'm pretty sure it was him but I could be wrong I guess. Wait, no. I'm never wrong.



Yeah and I couldn't pronounce it.
Garrett somethin'.



Whatever gets me off the suspect list. I ain't goin' back to jail.
Though I did beat up two men on my way to--
Ahem. You didn't hear anything.


Define "innocent."


YOU ALWAYS LEAVE ME LIKE THIS


Yeah I hate it when he does that!




No it's an octagon. YES IT'S AN EGG.
...so you're gonna sit on it now or something? Because it's awfully sturdy, I had it in my bag and everything and I even got this nifty little device from some old guy--


How could you tell?



He didn't tell me to be a trainer, he just told me to fill up this thingy that already seems to have all the info it needs.


SAY THAT TO MY FACE PUNK



Sorry, I don't do heavy lifting.



"...and the Champion!"


I WILL PROVE YOU WRONG



I'LL DO IT. I'LL BECOME CHAMPION. RRRRGGGGHHHH.

And then we stormed out.



Yeah thanks Pat, you'll be invited to my RULER OF THE WORLD party or whatever.


Oh hey asshole.





TUTORIAL


Right, right, weaken them, throw balls at them, etc etc.



Isn't this how Pokemon Eggs are made.


I couldn't find a sentret but I found this little baby!


YAAAAAAYYYY

you got a pider, congrats