AWKWARD ZOMBIE

So I have decided to do this against my better judgement. I cannot stop playing this game, so I might as well do this. Lemme get into character... Growing a mustache, loving my daughter, being very lazy.... Wait, wrong one.

Hi eveyone! Let me tell you a story of my younger days, back when I was a great rancher in a place where I honestly had no idea what anyone said.

It all started when I decided to take a trip to Zephyr Town and visit their bazaar. I had heard that it was once the greatest bazaar in all the land, but now... there seemed to be nobody there. I met the mayor, though, and he asked me my name. I suppose now would be a good time to introduce myself.


My name is Talon!

As near as I can figure, he asked me my birthday next, which was quite an odd question, but I answered it anyway:


Fall 25th.

I tried to explain that I didn't know what he was saying, but he just kept talking. He talks a lot.


Not only that, but he really seems down about something. He needs my help!


I wish I knew how to help him. I wasn't really paying attention, but suddenly he's waiting for me to answer. I try to mimic this guy's language.


...Apparently, I agreed. We leave the bazaar and...


...He's giving me a ranch. What. I had heard that there was an abandoned ranch here, and he seems to indicate that it's mine now. ...Well, that's... nice? I've grown some Rosemary in my time (it's really the only way to use Rosemary), but owning a ranch seems a little out of my league. Oh well, I might as well try it out. It's not like I'm going to bankrupt myself with this endeavor!

...Right?


Well, since it's my ranch now, I might as well name it! Lon Lon Ranch, after my mother.

...It's a long story.


After this, he talks some more and gives me a hoe, some seeds, and something that smells awful. I guess I should plant the seeds and see what grows!

It's a shame I can't understand what he's saying. I hope it's nothing important...

Oh boy! A Japanese game about...farming?

Hmmm...

I've never played this game so I won't knock it 'till I try it.

it's in Japanese

How will this work

Fucking languages
How do they work?

Honestly?

I have no idea.

As I said, I do know some Hiragana and I actually have a Hiragana chart, so... I should be able to do fine, right?

I know quite a bit of Hiragana but when you encounter Kanji in that game you are so fucked.

I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandvich.

The sad thing is that I actually know what all the stuff in that song means.

Interesting fact about Hiragana: When you translate Hiragana to Romaji, it's still in Japanese.

...Yeah.

And we're back! Yesterday was kind of a bad day to be doing much of anything major, even though I have the first three weeks of play down. I also forgot to mention that this is sort of a blind run. I know some aspects of the game (bazaar, jumping... a small bit about the windmills), but for the most part, I have no idea what I'm doing. In a game in a language I don't understand.

It is actually a skill I have to be able to figure these things out. I kid you not.

Anyway, I will be posting these as a per-week thing. This post will be the first week, the next the second week, etc.

I'd also like to apologize, as this is my first Let's Play, so I'm not exactly the best at it. It wasn't until the third week that I actually started to take screens specifically for this Let's Play, so there are some issues there.

So I bought the farm, and now I have some seeds (I have no idea what they are), some really smelly stuff, and a hoe. I realize that I should probably find out a bit about the town, mainly if I can find someone that I can communicate with.


Holy crap! This guy is totally a Mexican! My sister took Spanish in high school, and I picked some of it up. I'll try and communicate.

"Yo quiero una computadora por la translacion!"

I give him some cheddar.

He gives me... Seeds. And more smelly stuff.

Crap.

OK, not to worry. Maybe there's an inn somewhere. I'm sure they'd have someone on their staff that is multilingual.


Oh, hey, it's a Hot Maid! What was I looking for again?


I speak random gibberish to her.


Hot maid likes random gibberish.


Well, I gave most of my cheddar to that guy and all I got were seeds. I'm thinking that I should probably plant them if I ever want to eat again. Hmmm... he gave me the seeds and the smelly stuff together. Maybe the seeds could use it?


It is quite clear what the smelly stuff is now. IT IS


I go to visit the mayor. Maybe he'll know someone in town that speaks one of the languages I do.


Pretty lady!

Hmmm... She's in the mayor's house, so I figure she's either his daughter or a prostitute. Probably his daughter.

I wonder what Hot Maid is doing


...Maybe not his daughter.

I can't seem to find Hot Maid! Where could she be? Is she in trouble? I must go to her!

...What is this? A cave under a waterfall?


Mo...nai? They want cheddar! I pull out some cheddar and toss it in.


Crap.

I see that there is a cafe in town. A perfect place for out of towners to go!


It is apparently not open yet, but Hot Waitress doesn't seem to mind me bursting into her room. Unfortunately, she only speaks this weird language as well.

While waiting for the cafe to open, I decide to head back to the cave. Maybe some of the people in this city will go in.


Blue hair. OK, that's normal. Sure. I wonder what she's doing here...


GIBBERISH GIBBERISH GIBBERISH


...This language is apparently composed of nothing but gibberish.

Either that, or they really like foreigners.

Luckily, my good friend Ingo shows up to help me care for my ranch. He doesn't speak this language either, but he's a great help when it comes to caring for... turnips.

It's OK, I'm sure everyone loves turnips.

/sob

I'M RUINED!

Wait... there's still hope! I picked some flowers my first few days here... and they didn't die in my backpack. Well, that's interesting.

I'm sure there will be someone who wants some flowers! Maybe if I sell them at the bazaar, I can buy a bus ticket out of this Harvest Goddess-forsaken town!

Saturday is the day of the bazaar, apparently, as when I arrive, everyone is setting up. I lay out my turnips and my flowers, and I pray.


...People like turnips. Huh.

I made five times as much as I came here with! That's got to be enough for a bus ticket! I look around the bazaar for the ticket office, and I find another Mexican guy! Maybe this one speaks Spanish!

Yo quiero un billet de autobus!


Crap.

You know, dude, you could have waited the two months until this game came out in English. I might actually be reading this if you have. :V And it might be easier then. Just a thought.

I know, but I wanted to try it out and now I can't stop playing it.

So this update is going to be week 2, as is the next one, but the next one's going to be rather short, especially compared to this one, though you guys might enjoy it more. This one's a bit of an introduction to the various characters.

As I'm stuck here for the time being, I figure I might as well find out about the people and places here in Zephyr Town.


This is the cafe. It's run by an old lady and a young lady. In the back, there's a room where they sleep.


This is Cafe Girl. She's perfectly okay with me bursting into her room uninvited for no reason at all.


This is Cafe Lady. She's old, so I don't really care what she's saying. It's probably some gibberish from her dementia-fueled mind.


This is the Absolutely Mexican Ranch Shop.


This is the Oh So Mexican Red Guy. He lives here. He gets two visitors every Friday when his shop is closed.

He has a lot of Mexican-looking things around his shop. Apparently, he doesn't think people will believe he's Mexican. Probably because he doesn't speak Spanish.


This is the Oh So Mexican Blue Guy. He runs a stall on bazaar days that sells chickens, sheep, and cows. But not bus tickets. Bastard.


This is the Oh So Mexican Purple Guy. Nice guy. Can't understand a word of what he's saying.


This is Anorexia Girl's house.


Anorexia Girl lives (but does not eat) here...


With her dad, Anorexia Dad. It's a good thing he's wearing his good business suit, else the river might think poorly of him.


This is Some Blue Guy's house.


This is Some Blue Guy. I think he runs a windmill or something.


This is Some Blue Guy's Wife. I have the feeling that one day, she's going to kill us all. Oh well.


This is Some Blue Guy's son, Little Guy. He is, of course, tough and adventurous and what have you. Every day for breakfast, he has Cliche Pie. It is, I understand, delicious.


This is Some Red Guy's house.


This is Some Red Guy.


His wife, Some Red Guy's Wife. They have twin daughters, which is probably why the wife looks this way ALL THE TIME.


This is Blue Twin. She looks awfully depressed.


This is Red Twin. She looks awfully annoyed. I think I like Blue Twin better.


This is the mayor's house. At least, I assume he's the mayor. He could very well just be insane. ...Hmmm... He... actually does look rather familiar.


This is the mayor, also known as Emperor Norton.


This is the mayor's daughter. Or a prostitute. I'm still not sure on that one.


This is the Inn.


This is Hot Maid. She runs the Inn. I like Hot Maid.


These are Old Guy and Old Lady. Hot Maid humors them, as we all do with old people.


This is Artist's house.


This is Artist. Or, at least I think he is. That statue has looked exactly the same for the past week.


This is Miner's house.


This is Miner, 49er.


This is Juris' house.


This is Juris.


This is Juris' brother, Purple Guy. He lives at the Cafe.

I mean, he lives at Juris' house.


Ah, I almost forgot. This is Brownie's house.


This is Brownie. I like her if for no other reason than the fact that she doesn't seem to think my name is short for something.

It's TALON! How hard is that? It's not Talonsan, Talonkun, Talonchan, or anything else after the first "n." At least she gets that. She's much more polite than the others.

I would like to apologize to everyone on the forum who doesn't know Japanese honorifics for that joke. Anyways, I'll be updating sometime later. I still have some stuff from Week 2.

So far, I've figured out that Hot Maid likes yellow and white flowers, and to never give her green flowers.

Mayor's Daughter seems to like most flowers (except white, I think).

I'm fairly sure that Anorexia Girl likes blue flowers. She reacted with the same sprites as she did when I answered the right question in her Black Heart event.

Brownie seems to like... well, I can't really tell. She thanks me with most things. I think they're probably just regular presents, though.

As for Kagetsu... I haven't opened up her area yet, so I don't know. This video shows where she lives as well as her blue heart event.

So... who will be my wife?

Edit: By the way, I have seen the Black Heart Events for all but Brownie and Kagetsu (obviously).

Go with brownie, she's the only one to get your name right. Also because brownies are delicious.

Again, that was a joke for the one or two people who know Japanese honorifics. It can actually be rather rude, from what I recall.