AWKWARD ZOMBIE

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 Post subject: Maskuline: A Lonk Adventure
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:39 pm 
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Welcome to the first episode of my Ocarina of Time LP, arriving approximately a decade late. This is actually my first time playing this game, so everything you read is from the mind of an uninformed newb.

ARCHIVES
Little Lonk gets Woody
Little Lonk meets Best Guard
Little Lonk and the Benevolent Bosoms
Little Lonk visits Kakariko
Little Lonk meets Darunia
Little Lonk bombs the Dodongos
Little Lonk learns a Beat
Little Lonk and even more Benevolent Bosoms
Little Lonk visits the Zora's
Little Lonk and Ruto
Lonk mans up
Lonk revisits Hyrule
Lonk gets Woodier
Lonk and the Forest Temple
Lonk and the Phantom Menose
Lonk delivers Masks
Lonk and Lonko
Lonk is on Fire
Lonk slays the Dragon
Lonk and Malon
Lonksicles
Lonk explores
Lonk is a delivery boy
Lonk and Ruto, the reunion (Also, Lonk beats Violence with Violence)
Lonk fights Water
Lonk: Now with five times the Whimsy
Little Lonk and the Malevolent Bottom
Lonk and the tragic fate of Whimsyboat
Lonk avenges Whimsyboat
Lonk and the Prison Break
Lonk makes references to a book few of you have read
Little Lonk and the Spirit Temple
Lonk has bad luck
Lonk burns the Witch
Lonk está en una telenovela
Lonk raids the Castle
Lonk's final battle

FANARTS
Lonk rides Epona by epona4
Lonk is used primarily in Carpeting by Vanja
Navi is the Worst by BANANA
Tri-Wielding Lonk by epona4
Tri-Wielding Lonk 2 by Vahnara(colored)

WHOOPS:
Lonk's actual final battle

THE ADVENTURE BEGINS

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The first thing an Adventurer needs is a name.

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Our hero shall be named LONK.

THE ADVONTORE BEGONS

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...With exposition

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Yes, the tree watches me sleep.

Always.

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I don't seem to be sleeping very well.

I wonder why.

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The horse over there might be it.

Where did my walls go?

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Jesus christ.

That nose.

It will haunt my nightmares.

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And so will this.

I really did not need to hear someone coming on to Navi.

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Oh wait, it's just a tree.

...There's wood involved either way.

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This must be the great Exposition Tree.

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Definitely the Exposition Tree. Navi has been sufficiently Exposited and is sent to find me.

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Now for some flying!

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We pass by a house, and a woman on an awning clearly incapable of supporting her weight!

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And a man vigorously humping a rock!

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How did you hit the fence, Navi? You're the size of a bug!

Is it too late to get a new fairy? This one sucks.

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Several assorted impacts later:

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Five more minutes, Navi!

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She starts bumping into me.

I can't tell if she's doing this on purpose or if she's just that stupid.

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I get up to listen to her exposition.

It's a town tradition, you know.

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Everyone is Expository in EXPOSITION VILLAGE

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Saria arrives, presumably to Expose something.

That was less weird in my head.

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Surprisingly, there is no exposition, of the Information or Bodily type.

Disappointing.

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Slightly better. You never fail, Exposition Village.

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I hunt down a chest...

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Item get!

It is the Sword of Exposition. With it, I shall be Exposed to the world of Swordplay.

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Now that I have my sword, I can cut grass and get cheddar.

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Lonk will leave no wall unclimbed in his hunt for grass!

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I quickly gather the 40 rupees needed for the shield via lawn-mowing.

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Unfortunately, I have no idea which of these buildings is the store.

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You there! Exposite!

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Excellent.

The Exposition Elves are always reliable.

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My god you are the shortest Elf ever.

I bet even the other Elves laugh at how short you are. Santa Clauses elves could beat you at basketball.

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And you're a cheapskate, too. Forty dollars for a wooden shield?

We live in a forest. Forests are made of wood!

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Item get!

I'm not even naming this piece of crap. It is just a piece of bark strapped to my forearm.

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But with this I am all decked out for the fighting.

Time to see the Exposition Tree!


Last edited by Mr. Mander on Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:33 pm, edited 8 times in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:43 pm 
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Location: tutty fruity oh rudy
i am excite

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:45 pm 
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I approve of this message.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:46 pm 
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I like this LP. I really do.
Wood involved either way...heheh...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:47 pm 
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HEY! LISTEN!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:48 pm 
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WATCH OUT!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:48 pm 
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Location: DINO LAND
FUN WITHOUT PANTS WOO.

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This is for you King Ghidorah....


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:51 pm 
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Stay classy.

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Last edited by Squigzog on Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:52 pm 
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Squigzog wrote:
Stay classy.

TRYING TO RESCUE THE PRINCESS
WITHOUT PANTS WOO
ALSO WHEN I GROW UP AND SUDDENLY NEW CLOTHES
RAARU IS FUCKED UP.

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This is for you King Ghidorah....


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:55 pm 
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Oh no it's ganondorf!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 11:34 pm 
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What's this? A LP that's not Oblivion or Pokemon? :O

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Xabyrn is cool in my books.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 11:58 pm 
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Xabyrn wrote:
What's this? A LP that's not Oblivion or Pokemon? :O

It's the end of the WORLD!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 12:09 am 
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ZOOM


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 12:13 am 
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Decker wrote:
Oh no it's ganondorf!

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The next Zelda game should involve MINI-NOSES.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 12:23 am 
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I lost at Nosepass.

Basically I am eager. I hope this at least makes it to Jabu-Jabu!

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