AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I was sorta inspired by Plasma's "Lets Play Pokemon Platinum!" So I give a thanks to him for inspiring me.

Anyway, as you can guess, I play pokemon emerald, the platinum of ruby and sapphire. Using the VisualBoyAdvance emulator. If anyone can tell me the hotkey for screenshots, I'd be grateful.

Anyway, part 1: The LP Begins.


I've been waiting? I don't remember waiting.

Yeah, his name is bitch or something like that, I accidentally deleted the file containing his name.

HOLY SHIT, A LEAF WITH EYEBALLS.

So, the world is full of these leaves?
*shudder*

I'm OBVIOUSLY a GURL.
DUH.

As in the first name of my first character in a pokemon game ever.

How did you know? I only typed it on some other screen.

No, I need some time to think.

Yeah, whatever.

I am now small, in a moving van.
Where the hell did Prof. Bitch come from then?

Really? I thought I was in a dark room with a strange man a few minutes ago.

I still don't get why you did that to me. I mean, I only popped our tires ONCE.

For a starter town, no. Let's move to Slateport.

YES, NO MORE SLEEPING IN THE VAN AND THROWING PISS AT PEOPLE.

Because slavery is legal again. I love the government.

She then told me to set the clock in my room, I went back down and...

daisies!

Yeah, sure, not really, whatever.

Notepad, and desktop. I think so.

So I grab this potion and read the notebook.

Where's this "START" you speak of? And what's a MENU? Gee, I'm hungry.

And so I went down, I almost saw "dad" on TV, and went next door.

And YOU are...?

I never told you that. How did you know?

Did the bitch tell you?

For HER, yeah, not for me.

Ooh, an item ball, mysteriously like the ones in the other LP.

And I'm going to post the next 20 or so pictures out of the 60 I screened tomorrow because I'm too lazy to upload any more.

Start with Torchic.

I already chose a starter, meh, I might as well go on and upload the screens up to the starter choosing screen.


It was her Pokeball, and I didn't screen her reaction to me nearly taking it.

With all caps? Or is it May?

Sure, yeah, become Plasma/Dude's archenemy, whatever.

Oh, so it's BIRCH.

I prefer bitch.

Pfft, BWAHAHAHAHAAHA. GOOD ONE. YOU, ME, FRIENDS. DAHAHAHA.
Oh, you were serious.

Your dad the bitch told you about me.
Does he know how to create dark rooms, and has he ever done it to you?

Just pluck the trees, they contain plenty of leaves.

And so, when she needs to help her dad, she gets on the computer.
Best idea ever. Don't help your dad in his time of need and instead play video games.

Hi little kid.

OH NO, LEAVES, I'M TERRIFIED.

Welcome to the club.

I DON'T HAVE ANY EITHER. Ah well, I'll go on anyways.

Heyyyy, don't I know you?

Noted words:
A ball. Meaning only one, correct?

Oh, so it's this bitch, as well, I'll leave you at the suspense of what pokemon I chose until tomorrow.

You already failed.

Inventory

Torchic

bbq torchic

I'll... wait until actual battles before commenting.

Except that I don't expect this to last long. Mostly because not even being willing to set the right time and being "too lazy to upload any more", well, don't leave a lasting impressing that you'll be lasting.
Plus, what keeps me going is the Platinum-exclusive Pokemon that I want, I can trade them to my main game after. I doubt I'd still be at it if I wasn't a PokeDex nut!

I still encourage you to keep going though.



Edit: also, Treecko.

Treecko because Treecko was my first pokemon ever and it makes me nostalgiac.

This should have been obvious. Sceptile is just about the fastest pokemon ever, and it can learn dragon claw, which is useful for the elite 4.

It's...not a leaf?

WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?!

I don't see any dragon claw or leaf blade.

FUCK YEAH, POUND DEALS HALF THE OPPONENTS HEALTH but my opponent is only level 2.

And so, three pounds, two growls, and a tackle later...

A long battle fell short of exp.

By a dog with zigzag patterns. At level 2.
Puny human!

I saved you, using a green gecko, while you were being attacked by a dog.
GECKOS > DOGS.

I ONLY WROTE IT IN A BOX, HOW DO YOU ALL FIGURE THIS OUT?!

AKA: I'm forcing you into my lab right now.

Really? I thought I told you in a dark room supposedly on the van.

And that little girl by the trees told me to go in without pokemon. Then again, I don't think she knew.

TREEKO, USE POUND.
TREEKO, USE POUND AGAIN.
Not much of a challenge. Just pounding stuff.

Yuck, he put his own blood into my blood?

YES, TREEHUGGER GET.

Any better ideas? My first one was "WOODGECKO".

You mean slave, right?

No.



FINE, WHATEVER.

BECAUSE YOU FORCED ME.

Your not supporting your own daughter? You're instead supporting a complete stranger?
Wow, thanks, and I guess I'm going to end this part here.

Ew, a Treecko?

Have fun getting your booty kicked until it's level 30.

You should of named him Geico.

You could've just trained a Glalie or a Flygon.

I find it fun just to update this. But it'd be nice if I had the hotkey for screentaking for VBA.

So I load up the ROM and...

OH FUCK I DIDN'T SAVE BEFORE THEN.

I'm still in the lab nonetheless. Whew, thank god for the game lying.

Transfer a living thing into data? Awesome. I need to do that to my mother.

Holy shit another dog.

POUND IT MOAR.

YUSSUY.

YUSSUY.

And so I reach the next town after similar battles.

And I stop to heal up. Who knew so many tackles could put health at danger?

Hi! I don't know you!

OH NO, PEDOPHILE.

What if other houses have blue roofs? Huh? Then what?

OH YEAH, TIME TO BUY SOME BALLS...I MEAN POKE BALLS.

What is it? Some cheddar? A Master Ball?

A lousy potion...
And how is it more useful than a pokemon center? They're FREE and they heal ALL STATUS. Not cost 300$ and heal HP only.

THERE ARE NO POKE BALLS, HE LIEEEEEEDDDDDDD.

Another, more powerful, bitch.

THAT'S IT TREEHUGGER, SUCK THAT LIFE. WOOOO!

Alright, she's right there, just a few more steps and...

DAMMIT BIRD YOU RUINED MY PLANS TO KILL HER.

Oh, well this certainly is not a good matchup.

And that has to be the worst move for a flying type to know, EVER.

Wingulls are now the most useless pokemon ever.

Except they make good healing stations. Oh, and TreeHugger leveled up.

Dogs, more dogs, and useless birds.

Yeah, whatever.

Yeah, if you'll hold still, I'll let it cling to your face and suck your organs out.

"Quick", as in, "I'm going to fail at kicking your booty".

Your dad told me to show you that. He's encouraging to his family, obviously.

IT'S MY FIRST EVER TRAINER BATTLE. FUCK YEAH MILESTONE.

FUCK NO, FIRE TYPE.

POUND THAT CHICK, POUND IT GOOD.

Almost as useless as the Wingull.

Yeah yeah, but it lowered my attack twice, and I need to catch up.

Now it's just being unfair.

OH YEAH, WHO'S YOUR DADDY NOW?

YUSSUY AGAIN.

Wait, what, he's spying on me? That's not...creepy...at all...

How can you tell? All it does it suck the life out of everything, which is awesome.

No, I am not about to befriend dogs, birds, and leaves. No way. I'm not going insane, unlike you.

Fine, whatever. But first...

Healing time, because I need some health, and I'm not about to waste 300 bucks on a potion, or use one.

Let me guess, I have to follow you or else I can't go on.
[color="red"]Yup.[/color]

She only has a level 5 chicken.

I can tell, she has a LEVEL 5 TORCHIC, AMAZING.

As I said before, LEVEL. 5. TORCHIC.

ALRIGHT, A RECORDER THING, ON TO RECORDING DATA AND WHY THE FUCK AM I DOING THIS FOR YOU AGAIN?

That's creepy. REALLY creepy.


SHE ONLY HAS A FUCKING TORCHIC, ONLY THAT, NOTHING ELSE, ARE YOU BLIND AND DEAF? AND THE ONLY THINGS OUT HERE ARE DOGS AND EXTREMELY USELESS BIRDS.

You just saw the guy hand it to me, of course I have one.

SEXUAL ALERT, ACTIVATE THE SHIELD.

Oh, just poke balls.

Fun = Stuffing them in PC's, never to be touched again.

Stay here, and you'll find BIRDS.

Good, you go for cute, I go for ALL POWERFUL.

What the hell is "mom" doing?

Yes, he gave me a data thing.

ADORABLE?! Listen lady, this thing will eat your face.

Yeah, I guess a carnivore gecko DOES go good with me.

Because, as Plasma said, you apparently can't run without them.

If you start crying, I'm sending it to eat your face.

But there are POKEMON CENTERS 'ma.

Go get what?

Tune in next time to see AAAAAAA:
- Catch a Pokemon!
- Get into random battles!
- Have TreeHugger eat shit!