Syobon wrote:
Only slightly related, but the thing I love the most about the scp-wiki is it's deadpan humour:
Quote:
Addendum [SCP-294ad]: Researcher produced request consisting solely of the phrase, "Surprise me." Device produced a opaque cup containing normal water, later determined to have been superheated to about 200 degrees Celsius. Upon receiving vibration from transport, the contents of the cup turned into steam, violently spraying boiling water in a 2-meter radius. Researcher reported a quantifiable level of surprise at the occurrence.
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On August 21, 2005, Agent Joseph ██████ attempted to utilize Item SCP-294 to obtain coffee during his alloted break time at 9:30 AM. At the request of Agent █████ █████████ "to see what it would do", ██████ requested "a cup of Joe" from the item. Moments after confirming the selection, Agent Joseph ██████ began to sweat profusely and complained of dizziness before collapsing. After being moved to the infirmary, the medical team recovered the contents of the cup dispensed by Item SCP-294; a foul-smelling combination of blood, bits of flesh, and other various bodily fluids. Most disturbingly, testing revealed the DNA sequence of the biological material dispensed by Item SCP-294 matched that of Agent ██████.
What a dumbass.
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Quote:
The A in this case stands for Armageddon. As in, Armageddon a boner because this plane has a fucking HOWITZER sticking out of it.