AWKWARD ZOMBIE

sssssssssssssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppp

might as well do a nuzlocke because as a busy college student with many other things to do i should obviously be doing this instead

rules:

1. if a pokemon faints i put it in a box and never touch it because i am a huge baby who will never be able to release any pokemon
2. only catch one pokemon per new area i enter
3. above rule can be broken if a shiny is encountered


let's go let's go



our adventure begins in a featureless void with a strange man telling me he's sorry to keep me waiting

i've seen enough hentai to know where this is going



let's just skip the formalities cccccccccccc;



oh the scholarly type ~~~~~~~~



oh

well

i'm not really into that but i mean



oh goddammit this isn't going where i think it's going is it



that lotad looks really dumb



many secrets

like why is zubat everywhere

why is zubat so annoying

why is zubat bodaciously the worst



check your privilege i am a genderfluid otherkin horse who has a headmate who is karkat who is also an otherkin bus how dare you just put me in the stigma of boy or girl check your privilege



fine i guess girl is the closest i can get



maybe calling myself lolita when i am actually like 12 years old wasn't the best of ideas



my real name is ebony darkness dementia raven way but i guess lolita will have to do since you only gave me like 7 spaces to put my name



my excitement is unable to be contained



finally we're gettin' somewhere i like cccccccccccccccccc;



Day 51: It is cold and lonely in this dank, dark truck. Why, I wonder, did they put me in with the packages when I could've just rode in the goddamn car with the other two. I fear I will never get out of here with my sanity intact. I've already had to eat three of the boxes just to keep myself sustained and fed. When will my pain be-



oh well that was easy



how the fuck

mom weren't you in the truck with me in the front or something but how did you get here ahead of me how are you already in the house



why did you even put me in the back anyway. that's seriously messed up.



oh boy my own room! i sure was tired of sharing my old room with those homeless people and meth addicts.



isn't this like

borderline animal cruelty



well w/e i'm gonna go set my clock because that is the utmost of important things



now you all know what timezone i live in

truly horrific



i like it but why is it the only bedroom in the house



well now that's she's gone i should totally blog about this



wow this computer is from like 1998

fuck this



mom we have a new house and a new place to live and instead of exploring our house or going outside and stretching your legs from the long move you immediately start watching television



oh man now i'm kind of excited.



wow that was pointless

good job mom

man time to blow this joint



i'm gonna go try and find professor birch



oh my god kid get out of the way



ok so i've never hit a kid before but



goddammit



goddammit ok so his house is next door to mine. maybe birch will be there



i'm a japanese word for a fetishized underage girl. i'm one of those things and the other one is on the internet. who're you



what, is his name shota



apparently the kid is upstairs but

apparently not

in the wisest words of our modern day scholars:





oh

apparently all i had to do was try to steal his stuff



i'm a book written by a russian guy that gets horribly romanticized by stupid white teenage girls. you?



wow i could not care any less than i do right now



well i tried but this stupid girl wouldn't get out of my way so now i'm trying to find your stupid dad



wow that accomplished nothing






goddammit i guess i'm looking for him some more ugh



fuck off



haha oh shit what poor sap got themselves in trouble



wow okay. a pokemon professor who has dedicated his life to studying pokemon is getting the shit kicked out of him by a goddamn zigzagoon

are you kidding me

no seriously he's had years worth of experience in dealing with pokemon and a tiny raccoon pokemon thing that you could just swat at to get it to go away is terrorizing him

this is

really pathetic

at least i get to get my own pokemon now



hmmmmmm



hmmmmmmmmmmm



HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM



haha jk torchic is the only starter that matters



all right torchic time to do something that would be really illegal if it was the real world



time to beat the shit out of another animal a lot weaker than you



hell yeah



you were jumped by a pokemon that's like a foot long and doesn't even come up to your knee?



yeah i'm gonna

go



ugh if you insist




did he tell you that i got shoved in the back of a truck with no light for about 4 hours



well i tried but that stupid girl wouldn't let me go catch them so



it was a zigzagoon

if i didn't pull it off well i would've

well

i would be you



ah yes, abandoning, never calls home blood

that sounds like my blood



haha yes i barely did anything and i get rewarded. truly the american way



hell yeah i wanna nickname it



what do i want to nickname it though aw fuck


all right that's all for now. what do i nickname him etc. etc.

constructive criticism welcome

name the torchic 'egoat' after your idol

also good lp i guess

How about "Soon?"


Just had to get that out of the way mmkay

Hot Chick

I regret nothing.

loli nickname it after me
I named a bulbasaur after you

Name it "TORCHIC" because you can.

Name it Kickin' Chicken.

Name all your Pokemon after Forumites, I guess.

Yes I'm unoriginal, why do you ask?

Loli there is a 10% chance of finding an Abra as your first encounter in Granite Cave and Route 116.

you know how important this is to me

needs more zubat

No, needs less Zubat. Everyone hates those buggers.

Name the Torchic Sanders. Rank optional.

ok so i've decided that the next like 10 people who comment after this post will get pokemon named after them

so uh

go i guess

FIRST!

Oh god, I've turned into a Youtube Commenter!

Heyo.