AWKWARD ZOMBIE

If all goes according to plan, I think I can put out one more episode tomorrow before I go on Spring Break.

And also just to let you all know, I won't be putting out any new episodes during Spring Break next week because I'll be busy at home. Sorry!

Fresh baked and made to order, it's another new episode!

Episode Six: Shark Week on Discovery Channel

Soundtrack: Onett Theme



Well, looks like we won't be talking to the Mayor anytime soon.

Might as well explore the rest of tow-THIRTY FIVE BUCKS?!?

WHAT

AGAIN

THAT'S THE SAME PRICE AS A STUPID HINT

(Seriously, DO NOT STAY AT THE ONETT HOTEL. Your house is like twenty feet away and it's free.)

Soundtrack: Enjoy Your Stay



OH YES THAT MAKES UP FOR IT



Not to worry, good sir, I'm on the case!

......You didn't chew it afterwards, did you?



Oh, come on! How many more non-pity levels do I have to gain before I start at least LOOKING intimidating?!?!?



I decide to take out my frustration by committing petty theft.

Drat! No dice!



Ooh, I love trivia! Especially about the Beatles!



Why yes, I believe I know this one, it's-



Wait, wha....? ....OH GOSH DANGIT



Oh! Uhh.....hmm....



I'm sorry, I don't do well under pressure!



Hey!

Well that really puts a damper on this LP. Am I really that unfunny......?



FORGET YOU SIGN, I DO WHAT I WANT.

Wait, I said that already.....

Soundtrack: Friendly Neighbors



Girl, where have you been?!? That game's been out for AGES!



.......

(Just as planned.....)



I suppose I could take a quick trip that way.

It'd be a nice change of scenery from all the buildings and such.



Before I do that, though, I should probably dispose of some of theses LSD Cookies.

Stupid awful gosh dang crows!



"Easy" is not the word that comes to mind when someone mentions owning a house.



I can barely keep up with mortgage payments on my BEDROOM, how am I supposed to afford THIS?!?!?



Because talking to a KID wasn't the first indication that this conversation was a waste of time.



Ah, a man after my own heart! Play on, Brother, play on!

(He then proceeds to do so)

Soundtrack: Onett's Trumpet Player

What else is there left to explore....?

Soundtrack: Hospital



Oh, how about the hospital?

I guess it's a good thing that you aren't busy, since I suppose that means there haven't been many injuries lately? Or at least not many patients.



Nah, I'm good. No point in wasting the audience's time learning about game mechanics that I don't have any jokes about.



MAKE UP YOUR MIND!



That giggle is distressing.

Umm....what exactly is the Doctor No. 1 at....?



Thank goodness you had Life Alert!



Thank goodness someone responded to Life Alert!



Or the basis for a commercial.....for Life Alert!



WHOA

WHOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAA

THIS IS MORE THAN A LITTLE DISTRESSING



HELLO NICE TO MEET YOU

NOW EXPLAIN WHY YOU'RE SELLING DISCOUNT TOMBSTONES



Oh, uhh..... Good one.....



What? No, I was just exploring and-



Umm.....HOW old is your daughter?

Because from this perspective, she looks to be about four!



I'm SOOOOORRY.



Ooh, LSD Pizza! And fast, too!

Say, who are those fellows over there?



Nah, I'm good. Saving up my strength to go fight the Sharks.

Soundtrack: Battle Against a Mobile Opponent



I think I found one of the Sharks.

LSD Meter: I really hope that tacky outfit is just from being high.



The dirty cheater calls for backup! No fair!

LSD Meter: Really, REALLY hope it's just me being high.



Man, what on Earth was everyone worried about? These guys are made of paper!

Our police must suck worse than I thought!



Tony Hawk Jr. over there goes down without putting up much of a fight.



Pogo Boy is a little more resilient(I think I probably SMAAAAASHED the Skate Punk).



But he's quickly disposed of as well.

Soundtrack: You Gained a Level!



LEVEL GET

Now I can abuse gang members even MORE mercilessly!



Oh man, now THAT'S what I'm talking about!



If Frank is anything like the rest of your gang of doofuses, I don't think he'll be an issue.



After a make out session with my bat, the Shark offers me an LSD Hamburger as thanks!



CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWS!!!!!!



Some more dumpster diving, and hey! LSD Fruit Juice! Hallucinogenic AND nutritious!



I can't wait to get out of this town.



But.....but Curly Brace! .....I mean Wry!



Tell you what, you let me through, and I can make Onett famous for being the hometown of a kid hero, how does that sound?



Mental note: Thank Chief Strong for continually impeding my progress.......WITH MY BAT.

Soundtrack: Oncoming Foe



Thing 1 and Thing 2 saw me conversing with the officers and realize I must be in cahoots!

Thing 2 doesn't quite make it in time to join in on the beating they wrongly assume I'll be taking.



Wow, this is just pathetic.

How did your gang ever get off the ground?

Soundtrack: Battle Against a Mobile Opponent



After Thing 1 bows in defeat, Thing 2 tries to avenge him!

And it turns out that Thing 2 is a new type of enemy, a Yes Man Junior!

LSD Meter: OK, you can't even HALLUCINATE a costume this bad!



Unsurprisingly, attacking me with a hula hoop doesn't get the poor guy very far.



Heh, yeah, I'd like to "meet" him. I have a brand new baseball bat to give to him!



Well, he sure has an interesting way of showing it!



I manage to sneak up on two of these goons at once.

HOW DID YOU EVER BECOME A THREAT



Oh, yeah, THIS is fair.

I'd be more concerned if it was anything BUT these clowns.



Although perhaps my hubris is starting to get the better of me. They're starting to wear me down a tad.



I really want to you to feel like you're doing well, really I do.

But I'm afraid there's just no way you can win here, boys.



Man, what a weirdo.

I bet he sits in his room and writes LP's for the Internet too.

Soundtrack: Buy Somethin' Will Ya!



To the bakery!

....Wait, what was that now?



Oh I'm so glad I talked to you.

I feel like this wasn't pointless at all.



......Sorry, did you say something?



I've noticed that the casinos have been a bit more crowded lately as well.

These events might not be mutually exclusive.



How do you win luck....?



They're selling lucky sandwiches.

Oh yeah it's a sandwich.

Brilliant.



Well, why not buy one, I could use a little lu-HOLY CRAP

WHY IS EVERYTHING EXPENSIVE

Soundtrack: Apple Kid's Theme



Hello, ma'am, I'm here to complain about the cost of EVERYTHING IN TOWN

....Oh. I suppose you aren't who I need to talk to.



What, you mean the Sharks? I get the feeling your schedule is about to get a lot lighter....



WELL OK THEN



Times like what? Gangs running around?

Yes, I would imagine that riots and people going wild would be a direct result of that!



I suddenly understand why the Sharks haven't been caught yet.



What gang? The Sharks gang? The police gang? The Scooby-Doo gang?



Actually you do, just not a cop from THIS era!



No, this is the police station. You're in what's known as a holding cell.

Didn't they tell you any of this?



If bad jokes are a crime, I'm pretty sure I know what you were arrested for.

And what I could potentially be arrested for.



Back outside, I start to contemplate my future and HEY BUTTERFLY

(This one's pretty hard to see, it's so tiny!)



Ah.... So pretty... Almost makes me forget what I was doing.



AND THEN I REMEMBER



And my number of non-pity levels have officially surpassed my number of pity levels! Yaaaaaaaay!



Boy, I'm beat. I think I'll stop by home and NOT USE THE RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE HOTEL.

Although apparently since I got a serious raise in my allowance, it's not looking so expensive now!

Got that promotion, I see, Dad.

Soundtrack: You Win!



SWEET JUMPING JEHOSHAPHAT THAT WAS CLOSE.

Guess I have to go back home again.

Soundtrack: Onett's Arcade



Alright, I've had JUST about enough of these Sharks running around.

Time to go to the arcade and take the fight to them!



It's very likely. I've beaten up a lot of people like you.

(I then proceed to beat up someone like him, who IS him)



Oh COME ON! How many more non-pity levels do I need? Seriously!



Dude, I've been lippy since Episode One, where have YOU been?



I can appreciate a man who values his health like that! Maybe I won't introduce you to my bat!



YOU

YOU MUST BE THE ONE WHO SPIT GUM ON HOTEL GUY



Weren't you outside earlier?



Hmm..... Not a bad suggestion! I'm even more eager to "talk" to Frank now!



You just gave me a hint about equipping the weapons and armor I buy.

You could have just told me not to be an idiot and the message would have come across the same way.



Allow me to shatter that confidence for you.



Come on, you know that can't be my name! It has too many characters!

Anyway, let's tango.



Ah yes, I forgot that in gang culture, politely declining someone's offer is considered snobbish.



I didn't quite reach Level 7 after fighting the Sharks inside the arcade, so I step outside to do that and freshen up to go meet Frank.



I'll tell you one thing, it's not Spanky.

Soundtrack: Franky



Apparently my sarcastic tone struck a nerve!

You may go around calling yourself Frank, but that mobster persona gives away your true identity!

CELEBRITY BOSS BATTLE #2: VS. MARLON BRANDO

FIGHT BEGIN!



Hey! This is a kid's game, that kind of language is uncalled for!

Mr. Brando likes to fight dirty, I see!



I must say, that slur he threw my direction was quite bothersome!

(Try to end this fight quickly. Reducing your Guts makes it easier for Frank to SMAAAAASH you and attack your weak point for massive damage. It also reduces your chance for a SMAAAAASH.)



KNIVES

KNIVES

HE HAS KNIVES

IS IT TOO LATE TO BACK OUT OF THIS FIGHT



Whew, OK, not as distressing as I had imagined it would be!



With a little perseverance, Mr. Brando bites the dust!

Soundtrack: You Defeated the Boss!



Looks like there won't be a Godfather Part 2 after all!



That's funny, I thought I just beat you.

Maybe you weren't paying attention?



Oh, I see! Won't admit defeat until I break your little toy, too. Fine then, have it your way!

Soundtrack: Battle Against an Unsettling Opponent



Oh, I know just who to use for this one.

CELEBRITY BOSS BATTLE #3: VS. PETER BOYLE

FIGHT BEGIN



Quite a sturdy frame Mr. Boyle has here.

....I hope that didn't come off as a fat joke.



Every other turn Mr. Boyle has to power up for an attack and wastes a turn.

I'm thinking maybe Mr. Brando should have fixed that glaring design flaw before sending you to fight me.



Mr. Boyle throws a punch!

This isn't very worrisome.



Mr. Boyle causes serious bleeding!



THIS IS A BIT MORE WORRISOME



Thankfully that was a trick he only got to try once!



Hey, all things considered, you still have a pretty good track record. Some people would KILL to only lose once.



Oh yeah, that! I forgot I should be heading over that way!



IT'S A FOOTPRINT.

A GIANT. FOOTPRINT.

WHAT POWER COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE



I wonder what it could be? Since it clearly was ANT spoiled for me earlier.



Looks like it's time to go chat with the Mayor then! And this time, no secretary or police officer is going to stop me!



Oh geez, don't remind me.....

What are there, EIGHT of these Sanctuaries I have to visit? Sheesh.....

Well, let's get cracking! On the next episode, we're finally going to take on Giant Step!

Youd think a gang would be running illegal operations or hang out at a speakeasy or something, but NOPE, they hang out at the local arcade. And why is Frank like 40 while all his henchmen are teenagers? Its weird

TheStranger: Here to make all the Earthbound jokes I never thought to make.

Sounds a lot like Giovanni from Team Rocket

Its a Fagin complex is what it is. Atleast I hope thats as bad as it gets

Kamak used PK Fire β!

Marc took 400 points of mortal damage to his self-esteem!

No new episode this weekend, sorry! All the frames are sitting here on my computer, but I have a butt ton of stuff to do. The LP isn't dead.

Can I ask you guys one more time to help start a new page? The next episode won't be nearly as long as the past couple have been, so I shouldn't need to ask again for a little while. Oh, also frames are being hosted right now, so I should have it up tonight/tomorrow morning!

Nien

Aw, c'mon help me out here. It's almost like you don't want me to keep going. :C