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So. My Warcraft shenanigans. Here they are. Enjoy. I warn you, however, this is kind of long.
SO THERE I WAS, a mere level 55 Troll Hunter on the Scryers, standing right in the middle of NIGHT ELF TERRITORY! A lone horde member standing in alliance territory is generally referred to by three names: brave, stupid, and dead.
Although, considering the fact that the "alliance territory" I was in was Darkshore, an area with enemy levels that range from 10-20 (I believe) and the fact that I wasn't yet in an Alliance town, and was instead just wandering the countryside, it probably wasn't all that stupid. Yet.
However, I had a mission. I wanted to explore Kalimdor. All of it. Why, you ask? Because... I don't know why. For the achievement, I guess. I had explored every single non-Burning Crusade area in Kalimdor except for three places: Silithus, Darkshore, and, this is the big one people, Teldrassil.
I had just finished exploring Darkshore. It was really easy. I figured I would explore Silithus eventually, since I am probably going to have to level there. That left one more area (that I don't have to pay more cheddar for) in Kalimdor for me to explore: Teldrassil.
Teldrassil, for those of you who don't know, is a tree. Also an island. It is a tree that is also an island. Somehow, the top of the tree has a crapload of land, and that is where everything is. How? I don't know. It's magic. What more explanation do you need? Anyway, it is the Night Elf starting area, and also the location of their capital city.
In order to access Teldrassil, I would have to fight my way through a port town in Darkshore, hijack a ship, run into a teleporter located at the base of the giant tree, get teleported into the Night Elf capital city, and have to escape from the city without getting murdered by the guards or by bored alliance players.
I really had my hands full here.
But, perilous as the journey would be, I decided to embark on it anyway. My first step was to fight my way through this small port town in Darkshore and hop on a ship to Teldrassil.
This would be the easy part. The guards in this port town were only level 40, while I am level 55. Since this are is made for players level 10-20 (I think), any players that attacked me would just receive a BULLET TO THE FACE.
And so, I valiantly charged into the port town. Okay, well, it wasn't so much a "charge" as it was a "slowly sneak into the city and try to figure out what route would have the lowest amount of risk involver". Despite my cautiousness, the guards soon spotted me and attacked.
Speaking of these guards, there was something that always bothered me about Night Elf guards. Mostly, the fact that they are all female. There just doesn't seem to be a reason for it. Especially for Night Elves. I mean, it would make more sense with some of the other races, like with, I don't know, taurens or dwarves or something, where the males and females of the race are about the same size and statue, but with Night Elves the males are built like the friggin Hulk and have muscles the size of small vans while the females are just kind of... scrawny. Anyway, there's probably some crappy lore reason for it, but the real reason is probably along the lines of "people like staring at the Night Elf females more".
Where was I? Oh yes. The guards were attacking. I summoned my pet (which is a flying snake that I named "PhysicDefier") and starting shooting at them. As I said, they were only level 40, so they died really easily. I fought my way through the building and made it on to the docks. A low level Night Elf player watched my battle. I waved to them. I can't remember if they waved back or were just rude and ignored me.
Once I was done shooting woman to death LIKE THE GENTLEMAN I AM, I simply stood at the docks and waited. Two other boats, which I believe lead to Dreanei level areas, arrived, but the one to Teldrassil was taking a while. I hoped nothing bad happened to it. After all, it is difficult to hijack a ship that is already destroyed.
Soon, the ship arrived. I hopped on board. It turns out that "hijacking the ship" actually means "Stand on the back of the boat and hope no one notices". Much less exciting then I expected, but whatever got me to Teldrassil was fine by me. It was a fairly long boat ride compared to others in the game, as most only sail a short distance, drop you in a loading screen, and then once the loading is over the ship is at the city. This one had no loading screen.
A few minutes later, the ship arrived at Teldrassil. I had to find some sort of teleporter located there that would teleport me to the top of the tree. More specifically, it would teleport me right smack-dab in the middle of the Dark Elf Capital, Darnassian. Which was pretty much suicide.
BUT IT WAS A SUICIDE THAT I WOULD HAVE TO TAKE.
I got on my raptor, and rode right into the small port town at the base of Teldrassil. I realized something, though- I had absolutely no idea where the teleporter was. This was a very bad thing considering the guards had a few issues with my presence. The thing about the guards here was that these ones were a much higher level than me.
I took maybe 5 or 6 hits before I was nothing more than a corpse.
"Well," I thought, "This kind of sucks. Oh well. At least I can see where the teleporter is now. I will just resurrect and run to it before the guards murder me again."
And so I hit "release spirit". For those of you that don't know, in order to come back to live in Warcraft, you must wander around as a ghost. You can either talk to a "spirit healer" and resurrect there with some major penalties, or you can find your body and resurrect there. The "find your body" option is almost always the way to go.
The thing was, when I hit "release spirit", my ghost didn't appear anywhere in Teldrassil.
It had appeared all the way back in Darkshore.
I raged.
Luckily, ghosts can walk on water. Since waiting for the boat would take to long, I decided to simply walk all the way to Teldrassil across the water.
However, as I started going out to sea, the "fatiuge" meter showed up. This is a meter that appears when you swim out into areas you are not supposed to go. When it runs out, you start taking damage, and usually die.
I figured that, since I was already dead, I would be fine if the meter ran out.
I was wrong.
Somehow, my ghost managed to get killed. I hit release spirit again. I would definitely take the boat this time. Except, my body was no longer in Teldrassil.
It was in the middle of the ocean.
Yes, dying as a ghost somehow managed to move my body over to where my ghost died.
This makes sense, somehow.
I raaaaaaaageeeeee'd.
I decided to take the boat. Hopefully, when the boat sailed to Teldrassil, it would sail over my body, and I could resurrect then.
It didn't.
But then I had a different idea! I would simply take the teleporter to Darnassian as a ghost, and then I would find a spirit healer in the main part of Teldrassil. I would be able to resurrect there, and everything would be fine! I would even be able to skip the trouble of having to sneak through the Night Elf capital!
However, when I went to that spirit healer and asked to be revived, I somehow reappeared back at Darkshore.
Clearly, this game did not want me getting into Teldrassil.
"Okay," I thought to myself, "This time, there will be no mistakes!" I fought my way through the port town AGAIN, waited for the boat AGAIN, and sailed to the base of Teldrassil AGAIN. I got on my raptor as the boat docked. THIS TIME I would be more cautious. I would head around the edge of the town to the teleporter, and hopefully I would be able to get inside without taking much damage.
Short story even shorter, I did and it worked.
I was now in the Night Elf capital. There are canals that sort of circle around the center of the city, and I quickly dove in. The NPC guards couldn't find me here. All I had to worry about was a bored alliance player trying to kill me.
I decided to swim around a bit, see the sights and all that. I considered finding the elder (since it was the lunar festival, after all) but I decided that it would be too dangerous.
However, as I was looking around, swimming at the surface of a canal, an Alliance player spotted me.
A very high level one.
It was not pretty, to say the least.
I was ONCE AGAIN dead. This was becoming a common occurrence. I really had to stop doing that. If I kept this up, it would start becoming habit, and we all know how hard it is to get rid of an addiction to death.
I went back to my corpse. It was easy, which was nice for a change. I came back to life. THIS TIME I would not even swim close to the surface. I was not going to risk being spotted again.
I swam as close to the city entrance as I could. I jumped out of the water, got on my raptor, and rode as fast as I could to the exit. Guards started chasing, but my raptor was too fast for them. I made it out of the city, alive.
...Well, no, actually, I ended up getting killed just outside the city gates. But then I resurrected again and I was able to easily make it the rest of the way out.
I was in Teldrassil now. This was considered one of the hardest Alliance areas for a Horde member to get into.
I felt very proud of myself.
I looked around. This is where all the new Night Elf players were. I had worked very hard to get into this place, and I was going to enjoy it! If there is one kind of person that it is really fun to mess with, it's newbies.
I ran around the area, so I could get the achievement for exploring Telldrassil. It was fairly uneventful, at first. I managed to talk to one of the elders in one of the small towns, but I couldn't really go too close to the town, as it was filled with high level guards. I found it kind of ironic that the place with the lowest level Night Elf players had the highest level guards.
Soon, I came across a few night elf players, working together to get some quests done. One was probably fairly new to this game. I'm guessing this because she had the very poor sense to attack me. You see, you have the ability in Warcraft to toggle whether or not players of the opposite faction can attack you. However, there are two cases where players of the opposite faction can attack you no matter what. One was being in enemy territory (like I was,) the other was attacking a member of the opposite faction. Since she attacked me I was able to attack back. In less than a second (bodaciously) it was finished and she was dead. Her friend stared for a moment, and then had the good sense to salute. I bowed, and then rode off again.
I wandered around some more, and eventually explored the whole place and got the achievement. I got what I came for, but I still wanted to mess with more people. I wandered around some more. I came across a very low level Night Elf with a very, VERY high level Human Dark Knight. They didn't seem hostile, and I couldn't attack them because they had PvP set to off, so I simply waved. However, that Dark Knight was looking at me funny. I began to get worried. I started to ride away, but it was too late. The Dark Knight killed me in a matter of hits. He stood and laughed over my dead body. The Night Elf did, too, even though she didn't do shit and she was only like level 3. I still remember the Dark Knight's name. "Khornes", I believe it was. It was something like that, anyway. That was the first time I had encountered him. Little did I know he would be a reoccurring character in this tale.
And so I wandered more. And a bit more. I was bored. I managed to get into the Shadow Glade (or whatever it was called. It's the place where you start as a Night Elf), but although I was able to get past the gate, there was no way I could get by the guards guarding the tree.
I just realized how weird it is that there are so many trees growing on top of a giant tree.
Huh.
Anyway, I decided that I wasn't messing with newbies nearly enough. There is a lake near the southern part of Teldrassil. There is a quest NPC here, who gives several quests. Since I am a Horde member and the NPC is Alliance, and am able to attack and kill him. However, I had a better idea than simply killing a worthless NPC. I would stand on a rock near the NPC, and wait. Soon, a Night Elf approached, heading to the NPC with the intent of either finishing or getting a quest. However, as she started to talk to him, BAM, I shot the NPC dead.
By the way, I'm not sure if I mentioned this earlier, but do to the way each race only knows certain "languages", I am unable to communicate with any Alliance members. The only way I can communicate with them is by using emotes.
I used the "/laugh" command, and she used the "/shoo" command. She sat down and waited for the NPC to respawn. I used the "/dance" command to celebrate my successful prank.
However, as I was breaking it down on that rock, someone approached from behind. A certain Dark Knight. A Dark Knight I had seen before. One by the name of "Khornes"
My use of the "/dance" command quickly changed to use of the "/beg" one.
The Dark Knight simply laughed.
However, as he laughed, he let his guard down. I hopped on my raptor and rode away. He tried to chase after me, but I was too quick on my mount. I fled as far away as I could. I circled around back to the lake. I found him still standing there, with the Night Elf girl, waiting for the NPC to respawn. I waved to him from a distance. I thought it would be hilarious, since "/wave"-ing to him gives him a little message in his chat box, and I was hoping to piss him off and catch his attention then flee, and then continue to wave at him from distances and use other emotes until eventually he gets completely paranoid, but he didn't seem to notice.
I decided to just ride away.
I came across some more Night Elves several times as I wandered the land. They were fighting some creatures for quests. I decided to be nice to them all and help them finish off their opponents. They waved, I bowed, and I rode off again.
After a 10 minutes or so of wandering around and helping the occasional low-level Night Elf finish a fight, I got bored again. I decided to do the quest NPC prank again. Surely, it would be just as funny this time, right? I found the NPC again. There was a player sitting next to him, most likely logging out. I think it was a human female. Anyway, just in case she wasn't logging out, I decided to shoot the NPC dead again to try and piss her off. It turns out she was logging out, so nothing happened.
Unless you count Khornes, that blasted Dark Knight, showing up again.
I didn't even bother doing an emote. I got on my raptor and ran. He used some sort of magic ability to drag me back to him, but I was able to escape before he could do any real damage. I thought I was going to get him away, but then I noticed that his dot on my mini-map was going much faster. He had gotten on his horse to chase me down. I kid you not.
What happened next was by far the most exciting part of all my shenanigans. He chased me all over Teldrassil. I swore I could hear "Yakkity Sax" playing faintly in the background. It was definitely the sort of song to play during the situation. While running, I noticed a gap between a large rock and a tree. I jumped through it. I figured it probably lead to a drop of only a few feet or so. I figured that it might slow him down a bit.
It turns out the drop was much, much more than a few feet. Remember how I mentioned Teldrassil was on top of a giant tree?
Well, it turns out that by jumping through that gap I had jumped off the tree.
I began to fall hundreds of feet, just barely missing giant branches. That daisies Dark Knight was probably laughing his head off at me right now. Eventually, I hit a branch, and I died.
I resurrected at a spirit healer, since there was no way I would be able to land on that branch again, and even if I did, there would be nothing I could do to get back up from there. Every single piece of equipment I had was now broken. I guess that's what happens when you die like 20 times in a row.
I decided to take advantage of this lack of equipment and punch some harpies to death. I raised my unarmed skill to like 200!
And well, that's it! For now, anyway. THIS IS JUST PART 1 OF MY AMAZING 2 PART ADVENTURE
ALTHOUGH MOST OF THE INTERESTING STUFF HAPPENED IN PART 1, I ADMIT. PART 2 IS STILL KINDA OKAY, THOUGH.
COMING SOON: PART 2 OF ZINKERTON'S ADVENTURES IN TELDRASSIL. A.K.A.: THE PART WHERE I REALIZED I SHOULD BE TAKING SCREENSHOTS AND TOOK SOME!
Last edited by Zink on Mon Mar 01, 2010 7:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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