AWKWARD ZOMBIE

FINISH IT WITH FALSE SWIPE.

Shaymin event.
Is out.
You must get.

What are you talking about? I would have gone even more mad than you if it weren't for my 10 thousand Max Repels.

Just get through the cave while trying not to battle anyone or anything. Then when you arrive at the Pokemon League and have its "Fly Checkpoint" return to Victory Road.

It's useful because when you're running low on items or health you can just escape rope and fly directly to the league to buy any item you would ever need (instead of going back to Sunnyshore). You can also get rid of Waterfall as one of your moves (unless you feel like exploring the eastern side of the cave). You also don't ever have to touch the front Pokemon Center ever again.

1: If you didn't notice, I have a ridiculous amount of items from stockpiling.
2: The problem with that is that after I go through the cave and get to the league once, I have to go all the way through again if I want to get to the southern exit; which I do, because it means that I can fight the guys in the south half and simply Escape Rope out when I need healing, and not have to start all the way from the top again.
3: In case you've forgotten, I'm on the side that there isn't a waterfall between me and the cave. Going about it from the other side would only mean that I would absolutely need it!


Shaymin event.
Is not.
Out in Europe.


Edit: or, so it is. It's worldwide. Goddamnit, why does Bulbanews keep saying American only up until the day it comes out?!

[spoiler]there are waterfalls in victory road, as well as staring down the horrors of the warp in the fallen space marines.

I mean, there's one between the northern exit and the Elite 4 lobby[/spoiler]

Hoo... boy.... an entire episode of Victory Road! I may be stuck in here for a while...


Umm... I battle by punching a lot? I'm not sure why you need me to show that.



Wait, no, I only have one move out of 24 that's a punch. The rest are... the rest are... actually, I have no idea how special attacks work in the slightest!


Oh god.... Blissey... anyone else remember how the last match against a Blissey went?


Hah! The only counter against a Blissey is another Blissey.... whose sole attack is Rock Climb...

Wait, she has Toxic. That she can use... once.


I... I think I'm going to cry...


Yes folks, that's right! You've seen it all now: I'm actually using a berry!


Alright, everything should work out fine now, just as long as she doesn't have a Full Restore again. God, I really hate those things...

If I ever become the Pokemon Master, first thing I'm going to do is abolish NPCs from being able to use items!


God DAMNIT! And I was just about to go all Rock Climb on her booty!


A Gallade is fine too, I guess.


...

I KO'd it in one punch.


B'AWWWWWWWW!


It's the Doom monster's pallete-swapped brother again!

That thing still horribly disturbs me though...


I think I'm sensing a pattern with this trainer now...


MAGNEZONE! WOO! And CRAP, at the same time.
Yup, thought so. All her Pokemon are weak against Fighting.


If I had put PsyGuy in the first slot, I could've seriously saved a buttload of time here!


Or... what? You're not meant to survive! Goddamnit Magnezone, go kill yourself or something, save me the trouble!


OH GOD DAMNIT! This must be how the NPCs feel when I send out my own Magnezone or Blissey!


Wow, you can even feel the attraction between them!



Okay, sorry, no more puns!


Oh GODS! That thing is just ridiculously overpowered!


Bloody finally!



Wait, how did a Gardevoir manage to take it down in one go yet the ones with type advantages failed horribly?


Okay, so he was on 9hp, paralysed, and because he was slower, wouldn't have even lasted one more turn had I not switched out... but it still levelled up. That's just messed up.




Oh hey... more steps! So they do carve steps into this cave, but can't make an actual, y'know, road.


Looks like Floatzel is just as good at making rocks blow up as he is... umm... okay, so maybe that's all he's good for.


Theeeere ya go! Now that's a formidable opponent! Not like tose bloddy Onixes and Gravelers!

How come you never see any wild Golems?


Oh yeah, just because he's a formidable foe doesn't mean that the steel element makes him a real bore to fight! 'Sides, I've had enough fighting these super-phallic beasts back in Iron Island.


Wait, wasn't there a guy still waiting for me there?


Oh CRAP, a landshark! Now THAT'S a formidable foe!


Or... it'll just get knocked out in one go.

Gardevoir is meant to be a support character. How is she butchering everything with a 90-power attack?


...

...

FUCK I screwed up! Goddamn, even the rock formations are conspiring against me now!


Really? Is that because of my face? Or is it because the only way I could get here was to have at least 5 badges and be able to get through an attrocious number of wild Pokemon and bastard Magnezones alike?


ITS GANON!

Of course! I keep on forgetting that you always fight Ganon only after you beat the presumed final boss!


Hold on, the girl isn't meant to be able to beat Ganon, she's meant to always prove to be utterly useless despite having huge amounts of wisdom and magic!


OH CRAP! That must be what a Yoshi becomes when it eats a red flower!

I wonder how many videogame shout-outs I can make before people start realising I only do so because I have no jokes?

Eh, VGcats manages to still keep going despite doing just that, so I guess I'm cool.

OH POLITICS!


Wait, what?! How did that happen?! Weasley is my flipping HM slave!



Remember, posting subjectless screenshots conveys time! And pointing out screenplay techniques means I don't need to come up with a decent comment! Hooray!


Magneton? In a cave? Alright, now I'm just calling bullcrap! These guys should've been all the way back at Windmill Valley if you ask me!


Umm.... can we pretend that didn't just happen?

Man, I'm seriously running out of Pokemon now.


Consider that revenge against your species!


Oh... joy... I haven't used a single elixir in the entire game, but 'joy'.



I don't think I'll ever catch a Rhydon at this rate.


Oh CRAP, I really am running out of Pokemon! One's paralysed and the other's practically useless!


What an odd place to drop a piece of food...


GABITE AGAIN! ....wait, I think we all know what direction this is going.


That... was not the direction I thought this was going.

Nonetheless, WOOTINARY!


It's like a magpie. That is, if magpies were bloody walking sharks with torpedoes on their heads! I mean what sort of cruel god would create such a thing?!


Oh ho ho I'm so crea-
Wait, what do you mean that's an actual Pokemon name? Aww. I'll try again.


It's so extreme that the excalamation mark is part of its name! BOO-YEAH!


I CAN SEE THE LIGHT!!


IT BURNS! IT BURNS!!



Y'know what? That would've been the smart thing to do.


Oh well. sounds too much like actual work.



Pokemon Checklist: (or: what Pokemon I still need to find in this cave to fill my Pokedex)
Torterra
Clefable
Machamp
Lickilicky
Tangrowth
PorygonZ
Swablu
Ataria
Gible
Absol
Dusknoir


So yeah. I may be stuck here for a looong time!

A trainer has it.

Isn't Gible only in his cave?

Some trainer has Gible too. But I dunno if you missed him.

I wonder just how long I'll be stuck in this cave anyway.


Oh c'mon, that's just teasing me now!

I still think I should be able to just climb those rocks. I mean, they're only about as big as my head, after all.


Hoorah, I didn't screw up this time! I hate it when pushing even one single rock can screw up your entire pathway.
Good thing for magically moving rocks, eh?


'Own'? Seriously, this game has more cliche'd internet buzzwords than a Halo3 online match!


It looks like a cross between a Pikachu and a Jigglypuff.


It's about as strong as a cross between a Pikachu and a Jigglypuff too.


Hey, dude, when was the last time you washed your Pokemon? I mean this guy has a flipping tree growing on his back!


Ohhh god, I HATE Leech Seed!
Which is why I'm quite gald I didn't come across it until now.


Oh yeah, fun strategy: use Toxic with Leech Seed. I don't know if it still works this way, but back in Gen1, Leech Seed would do the same amount of damage as Toxic just did; and since Leech Seed doubles Toxic's increase rate too, well...


Ahah, sucker! I mean, when the Pokemon not only looks like it's floating but is actually called Anti-Grav-


...then it means the game is going to royally screw me over anyway.

GOD! daisies!


At this point, Gardevoir is just my utility belt for everything in Kick-Assery!


It replaced Thief. Because it was honestly doing goddam nothing! Seriously, none of the people I meet equip their Pokemon with anything but berries!


MORE ROCK PUZZLES!


Or, at least, that's what it looks like at first glance. Actually, the only thing you can do is go up from here.

Sorta defeats the point, doesn't it?


...why is there an old man in this cave?


...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OH GOD MAKE IT STOP! ITS JUST TOO HILARIOUS TO LOOK AHAHAHAT!







Eheh... heh.


Anyway, I'm back in the first room again. I... may be going round in circles right now.


My Pokemon has to deform the entire dimensions of the universe to her own advantage! But... but y'know, your guy is probably super too.


Four... arms?


I can't decide whether that thing is the epitome of everything manly ever or of everything gay ever.


Yeah... his kung-fu was no match for my Magic... Slashy... Thinger.

Shaddup.


And now I'm underground!

Err... more underground, that is.


I can't decide which is worse: that he thinks he's a camcorder, or that he's been stalking me...


IT'S THE SPIRIT OF BOWSER'S KOOPA CLOWN CAR!


Y'know, the one that flies. And looks nothing like a car.
...just, just don't ask.


You remember Curse, right? Deals 1/2 max HP to the user, and 1/4 max HP to the target!
...it's not a very good move, no.


Well alright, it is just because I can switch out.


Oh yeah, fun fact: the reason it can hit Roosevelt is because it's not actually a Ghost-type move, but a ???-type move. Yeah, not kidding.


How... how does he keep on winning?! It defies all logic, I tell ya!


'Nother Fun Fact: Absol is one of the very few Pokemon to have a different sprite depending on whether you're fighting it or whether you're viewing it from the PC. That's because it's an asymmetrical Pokemon!


Aaaaand... FUCK! I HATE DOUBLE TEAM!


Because THAT always tends to follow!

Seriously, its ability is that 1/3 of all the opponent's attacks automatically miss.


...in fairness, sending out a Psychic {okemon against a Dark Pokemon was not my brightest idea.


Oh c'mon, now it's just blatantly unfair!


This... is my last Pokemon.
Did I ever mention that Dark-types are completely immune to Psychic attacks?

Warning: contents may be screwed!


I figure AG has the best odds against this thing.


Well hey, at least she managed to do something.


Incidentally, did I mention that Double Team does absolutely nothing against moves that are guaranteed to hit?
Like Discharge?

Yeah...





MORE WATERFALLS! Oh, I don't think I'll ever understand you crazy things!


Translation: I MAKE POKEMON SUFFER! FEAR ME!


Altogether now: D'AWWWWW! It's like a fwuffy liddle cloud!


And now it's a dancing fluffy little cloud! This thing is the physical embodiment of the concept of 'cute'!




Which makes it all the more sadder that I had to do this...

Oh well!





You just caught that right now, didn't you?


Oh Geezus, this shark can do anything! I mean, it swims, it walks, it can even move around underground! Jaws 3 would've been a WAY better movie if it used a flipping Gabite!


And if it had dimension-distorting psychic lady-creatures too!


Pokemon Checklist:
Tangrowth
PorygonZ
Swablu
Gible

Man, I must be getting pretty close to the Pokemon league now then! And I flipping better not have missed any on my way here...





...bit late for that now, Psychick!

Are you sure? That looks like nightmare fuel to me.

Look it has claws.

...
Okay, that was awesome!

I love this LP. also. why havent you updated the original post. the only reason i found number 72 way because I kept going on the pages like a month after 71.

I already did. Three hours before you asked me to.


I'm that awesome!

ja

Holycrap you read my non-existing thoughts!

wait, that came out wrong