I've been hiding in this bush for like ten goddamn minutes and they still haven't arrived.
UGH FINALLY I think I see something!
All right, any second now...
Here we g-
well hello there~Five men all at once? This is like a dream come true!
OW OW OKAY OW
NO I WANT TO FUCK ALL OF YOU I DON'T WANT TO KILL YOU
WORST.
DAY.
EVER.
I like how they just brutally killed a gang of raiders and then casually holster their guns and walk away.
Ringo comes up to me and gives me some cheddar.
Some sex would've been nice too, but, well whatever.
TIME TO LOOT SOME BITCHES.
Man I'm so sad. They were all so handsome, too.
But killing them was worth this sweet hat.
Hell yeah.
Motherfucking cowboy cop.
Oh shit I should probably go talk to that robot thing that rescued me.
Excuse me let me just walk all over your dead faces.
Man why does this robot have its own house.
It doesn't even need a bed or water or anything it
doesn't make any sense.
Well thanks. I did just wake up from a coma yesterday, so.
Thanks for saving me by the way.
You're a goddamn robot stop acting like a cowboy.
Cool beans. Do you know who they are?
Goddammit you didn't question any of them? What hell is the wrong with you people?
Well now that that's over, I guess I should see if I could find some more cheddar or supplies or something.
I think I remember Trudy saying something about a broken radio maybe?
Ah, yes. I can repair things pretty well. I've always been good with my hands.
Innuendo intended.
She warns me about Victor, so apparently he's somewhat shady.
WHATEVER BITCH GIMME SOME CAPS.
I fixed your shit ma'am.
What the fuck man you gave me like 25 caps. That's not even enough for the dick of a prostitute!
By saloon do you mean male prostitutes.
Because I hope you do.
I decide to look around in the schoolhouse that I blatantly ignored.
Too daisies far away. My legs are about to physically remove themselves from my body.
All right let's see what in here.
Is that-
Fuck.
Fuck.
FUCK YOU.
GOD THEY'RE SO TINY.
THEY'RE LIKE TINY CHAINSAWS BITING ME.
GOD.
FINALLY.
Worst day
EVER.Ugh. That safe might have something in it.
All right, just gotta move it this way and-
Yes!
Well after looting that place and getting my booty kicked by tiny bugs I should probably head off and see where that asshole with the cool suit went off to.
Keep out? What's so bad that they needed to warn people?
ASKFNSLDGDSHLKN
KSLNFDLKGNLDSKNG
NOPE
NOPE
NOPE
NOPE
NOPE YOU CAN TAKE THEM ON VICTOR
HAVE FUN
dsmfklgkl
DSDKLNF OH GOD IT'S COMING RIGHT TOWARDS ME.
no no no no noNO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NO
GOD
THEY POISON TOO?
CHRIST.
God
Fuck everything.
After running away like a coward Victor approaches me and basically says to not get attacked by giant poisonous wasps again.
I...comply to his demands.
LET'S GO ON THE RIGHT ROAD THIS TIME.
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