AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Playing Sonic DX always made me feel nauseous. It was just that bad.

I never liked Sonic games to be honest.
Most because I would die and be like "HOW COULD I SEE THAT I'M GOIN' 53145641561 MILES AN HOUR!"
But I loved Kirby games, even though they kinda sucked.

Kirby games never sucked.

Epic Yarn

hahahahah

No they didn't.
They were quite fun.
A big part of my child hood infact.
But I wanted to use a sucking joke.

Tch, I didn't even give Epic Yarn the time of day.

Shadow the hedgehog was so infuriatingly bad. I spent over half an hour trying to figure out where I was going. There were too many paths to take that weren't clear and difficult to find. I managed to get to three of the 10 different endings but gah.

The commercials made it look so much better. I think they put most of their effort into the opening scenes and music as that was the only good part of the whole game.

When I was little I always wanted that game, and Vax.
THey looked so cool.
Then dissapointment came years later when I saw them played on the internet.

I can't believe I didn't get that Kirby pun.

Also, Epic Yarn wasn't the best Kirby game ever, I have to say. Mainly because it was WAY TOO EASY.

"So we want to make this game appeal to everyone, right?"
"Well, let's make it so anyone can get through this game, by not adding a death mechanic!"
"And let's give the actual Kirby fans a sense of challenge by making them collect a bunch of beads that will let you buy pointless accessories!"
"What? Gamers don't like these accessories? TOO BAD."

Although, to be fair, it did have some creative platforming elements such as the dolphin. I think that if the game actually had a death mechanic it would instantly be 10x better.

And if it wasn't a Kirby game like it was originally intended.

Funnily enough, Metroid Prime, one of my favorite games of all time, made me stop gaming for a little while.

It is because that game scared the fucking piss out of me. I have a list of things in that game that scared the piss out of me, in fact.

-When you shoot something really close to your face with the Charge Beam it shows Samus' eyes for a few moments. I have this weird thing with eyes
-Just...when a Metroid latches onto your face. That still kinda makes me uneasy.
-The weird squid-like Hunter Metroids creeped me out because they had long booty tentacles and I have a weird thing with that too I guess.
-Any time you had to go into water. All the water enemies creeped the fuck right outta me.

There were other things, I'm sure, but suffice to say that game did not make me a pop flyin' camper when I was a lad.

All Kirby games sucked. How else did he eat all those enemies?

Really the only thing I didn't like was the lack of abilities. I like the fact that they tried to change up an almost flawless formula, but they messed with it too much.
Again, Nintendo likes their gimmicks. I would like a solid Kirby game that, if it had multiplayer, make it wifi first and fore most. I would also like it if they didn't have any "You need to have an extra person here if you wanna get this" Bullshit. But again, I would like it if it was just a solid Kirby game.

The Phazon Mine did nothing for you?

Really?

Nothing about it was horribly terrifying to you?

Well, they sort of made up for that with the transformations. That was one of the things critics praised about Epic Yarn. I like creativity. I just wish they could do it with a new IP instead of putting Kirby in it and taking his signature ability to suck away.

And yes, forcing co-op into getting an item or something is stupid. But I sort of disagree with the WiFi thing. Co-op platformers have never been online, and there's probably a reason for that. Don't ask me what it is, but if Nintendo has a good number of co-op platformers and none of them have been online yet, it either means Nintendo is refusing to keep up with the times (again) or there's some technical problems.

And relying on AI partners never works out well. See that one Kirby mirror somethingsomething for the SP, which was my favorite by the way, the partners there were dumb as dirt. And yet they kept on getting the UFO ability....
Never the less, I think Nintendo might kick it up a notch with the WiiU. We'll never know until we see it though.