AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Longer than Exeres' slide whistle?


It won't be too hard :awesome:

I'm...uhh....not at liberty to say...

Expect a new episode on Thursday(probably not) or Friday(most likely).

Expect this to change because SOMETHING ALWAYS HAPPENS.

Most importantly, expect the unexpected!

Whoa hey, turns out I was mistaken again, big surprise there! But this time, my poor scheduling skills are working in my favor!

It's new episode time.

Chapter One: One Small Leap for Man, One Giant Step for Mankind! ....Wait, no.....

Episode Five: The TruMarc Show

Soundtrack: Onett Theme



OK, I think I've regained my composure after the sad series of events transpiring in the last episode.

Let's get this adventure underway!

Soundtrack: Oncoming Foe



....Right after we're accosted by this dog!

Soundtrack: You Win!



Ha ha! After my pity levels, I no longer need Toby to rescue me from wild animals!



Looks like south is where we should head next.

.....Why have I never read this sign before? It's literally right next to my house!



This is.....liberating! No police barricades or Pokeys to stop me! I can GO places!

.....Well, ONE other place, at least.

Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weird Opponent



The wildlife seem to have migrated to the outskirts of tow-OH WHAT IS THIS



SIR YES SIR

I suppose I should listen to the advice of the pushy sign.



YOU DON'T SAY

I thought all those books were for decoration!



.....Iiiiiinteresting choice for a place to give people free maps.

There's no WAY that'd confuse anyone, especially not tourists!

Soundtrack: Buy Somethin' Will Ya!



Well, that's rather ageist of you!

I think I feel triggered.

I'm sure Tumblr would LOVE to hear about this!



Yep, DEFINITELY won't be confusing to tourists.



OH GEE THANKS. I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY NOW

(She proceeds to tell me how to access the map with the X Button)



.....I'm sorry, what? I have no idea what you're talking about.



Ha....ha....ha.... Yeah.....

Better take a look at this thing.



Hey, not bad! I see the Onett Library hasn't cut any corners adding details to the map! And I'm liking the indicator of my current position. Quite a handsome icon, if I do say so myself.



(I'll spare you all most of the library. It's there to teach you the basic game mechanics. If you're really interested in seeing it, you'll have to play the game yourself, I'm afraid.)

Somehow I had a feeling I wouldn't be allowed to just TAKE the Sanctuary for myself.



If I had to guess, I'd say probably around 18 years ago.

Give or take.



I'd bet money on the monster. Were I a gambling man.

Wait, how do you know it's a he....?



I sensed it too, Obi-Wan.



So they make you apathetic? Why is this desirable again?



And clearly you've never seen one.



A clue! Time to shove off!

....But first, I have to use the little adventurer's room.



Whoops, wrong door!

Deep thoughts in the lady's room.



YOU PIECE OF-

OK, fine. Guess I'll have to wait.



(Several minutes later)

Umm.....what hideout?



Oh THAT hideout!

Nah, I really have to get go-....Oh. Well, fine then!



They'll never find me here.

Want to play a game of MARCo Polo? Ba dum tish!

......I'm so sorry.

Soundtrack: Friendly Neighbors



This kid's offering me the Best Cap! Or Bestest Cap, rather! Hmm..... Dad might have a run for his money for the spot of Bestest.



Sponsored by Mr. Peanut, Mr. Coffee, and Mr. T.



What is this

WHAT IS THIS

THIS IS NOT THE BESTEST CAP

Well, better than nothing!



Thank you Senpai.



S-Senpai! Are you saying you have finally noticed me?!?



OK, started off weird, but now I'm intrigued! Do go on.



NOT A CHANCE, BUB. SHE'S MINE.

I mean, if it comes true.



Well, I'm certainly glad the battle screen didn't show up, then! How awkward would THAT have been?



Rest assured, Sir Mole Whom I Have Unwittingly Covered With My Body, no matter which way I face, I am always facing danger HEAD ON!



A rare occurrence, I assure you.



My what.....? My family doesn't even own a TV....



No, go back, what did you just say?

WHAT DO YOU KNOW



A+ advice.

Advice of the Year, right here.

TRY TO HAVE AN ADVANTAGE WHEN FIGHTING.

WHY DIDN'T I EVER THINK OF THAT

Soundtrack: You Gained a Level!



I decide to beat in the skulls of some more woodland creatures, and yaaaaaay! My first non-pity level!

Sniff.... I'm growing up so fast....

Soundtrack: Spell Learned



Marc gained a new career opportunity!



Wait, it's NOT a steppe?

Then what....? .....Oh....



FORGET YOU, SIGN, I DO WHAT I WANT!



It's.....it's LITERALLY A GIANT STEP.



Oh doggone it, really?!?!?

Man, what is with the local government and impeding my progress?



Looks like I'll have to find this guy and give him a "Frank" lesson in manners!

Soundtrack: Battle Against a Weak Opponent



That crow from the past few frames was looking for a tussle, so I give it to him!



AND HE STEALS MY BREAD ROLL.

SON OF A GUN



WHAT

NO CHILD SHOULD BE DEPRIVED OF THEIR ARCADE.

THESE SHARKS ARE OFFICIALLY GETTING THE BLUNT END OF MY BAT



Hey, lay off, man, I only gained my first non-pity level today!



Clearly this sign was put up before Pokey moved here.

Heh, he's not even here anymore and I'm still ripping on him.



Maybe someone left an LSD Bread Roll in the trash to make up for the one I lost.



.....Or an LSD Hamburger! Just as good!

Soundtrack: Buy Somethin' Will Ya!



Well, I'm NEVER in here, so it really doesn't matter to me one way or another.



OUTRAGEOUS

You should definitely ask for the manager and complain!



Hello! (smile, smile) What (smile, smile) do (smile, smile) you (smile, smile) have?

(smile, smile)



Argh, if I hadn't died, I could have blown all my money on a burger!

STUPID STUPID STUPID



Now THIS seems like my kind of place!

Soundtrack: Buy Somethin' Will Ya!



The game....designer?



Geez, WHAT IS EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT?!?!?!?



What kind of stiff do you think I am?!?

Valuing money over my OWN MOTHER, I swear.....



Ma'am, I must say, I am sorely disappointed in your lack of variety of hallucinogens.



But that's not why I'm here! Imma need some new gear before I take on the Sharks.



Unfortunately, I only have enough money for a new bat.

One that's ACTUALLY USABLE, SIS.



That name..... So.....familiar.....



That seems rather inconvenient.



Umm....special how?



Uhh.... How....did we get that name?



OH CRAP I'M STEPPING ON MY HEART.



Whoa, hey, calm down, I just wanted to say hello!

I'm guessing this is a frequent mistake?

Man, if that's the case, this town is pretty sad. You have to pass by the drugstore to even GET to this guy's place!

Soundtrack: That Was Easy!



I run into Solid Snake again and WHAT

I DIDN'T EVEN GO TO THE BATTLE SCREEN



A little late for that, folks.



Hey, I wanna hear the joke! What did he say?

Soundtrack: Friendly Neighbors



If you're about to refer me to GameFAQs, I SWEAR, I will FLIP OUT, I am TOO TIRED to feign ignorance agai-

Soundtrack: Zombie Paper



He refers me to this guy.

Thirty-five bucks?!?!? What, do you think I'm made of money?!?!?



Oh, that's just great.

JUST what I wanted to see!

MORE PROGRESS HALTING



Ah yes, I ran into Senpai earlier. He finally noticed me! You have a wonderful son.



But I have a feeling that you won't. Why? Because I also have a feeling that your initials are NPC.

Soundtrack: Friendly Neighbors



Senpai! What are you doing here?!?!? Wait, what was that....?

OH CRAP I FORGOT



On my way to plot development, I sneak up on a crow and the sky turns green!



And I insta-win again!

Soundtrack: Friendly Neighbors



Every time I talk to you, I become more convinced that you're someone Chris Hansen should have a chat with.



You are to remain at least ten feet in front of me at all times, is that clear?



WOW WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CLUE



I really.....

REALLY....

don't want ANY surprise you can give me!

Soundtrack: Zombie Paper



I've got a bad feeling about this, Chewie.



A REALLY bad feeling about this.

I started toward Lier and he bolted through the door.



HEY

GET BACK HERE



OK, we're in your basement miles underground, can you PLEASE not word things so suggestively?



Oh hey look at the time! It's time for me to be ANYWHERE ELSE!



Oh. It's just a statue.

I still don't trust you worth a hill of beans, though!



OK, sorry, GEEZ! I seem to recall that YOU were the one beckoning me into your basement!

Soundtrack: [Name Redacted]



I'm sure this will in no way be related to the plot.



After narrowly escaping repressed memories and a trip to the police station involving a doll, I decide to head home!

Sweet! I can buy the rest of the gear I need now!



Might as well take a look at my stats again, since I also took some more Kamak.

Not too shabby!



I buy the Cheap Bracelet.

It's.....about what you'd expect.



That seems really detrimental to making informed decisions come election time.

Soundtrack: Friendly Neighbors



.....Like that weapon in Cave Story? Odd choice of name.



Does that make Wry Curly Brace?

Oh my gosh, maybe I'll get to see bunny people in Twoson!



Hey, so can I, you don't see anyone talking about me in other towns!



More crow fights later and my inventory is full of STUPID COOKIES!



YOU ARE A BIG FAT LIAR. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE HE IS.

Soundtrack: Buy Somethin' Will Ya!



I make my way to City Hall.

Looks like Mr. GameFAQs has done a bit of advertising!



Are you sure it isn't the other way around?



WAY TO STICK IT TO THE MAN.



Why, uhh.....yes! Today is Hero Day! You get the entire day off if you're a hero on a quest! Aheheheheheheh....



AND JERKWAD CROWS



Oh yes, this seems like something that the Mayor should take top priority in. Animal control. Mmhmm, yes, good.



But I wasn't looking for-

Oh whatever....



You and that other guy should become friends! Maybe then paperwork will get done and I can MOVE ON IN THIS GAME.



Seems appropriate. Giant Step, Giant Ant....



Spoil what? ....OH DOGGONE IT.

AND THOSE PUNS AREN'T DOING YOU ANY FAVORS!



I had nothing to do with it, I swear!



Another clue! Thanks, NPC #33467!



Ah, THERE he is. I know the Sharks are a big deal or whatever, but I really need to get going to My Sanctuary. His Sanctuary. WHATEVER.

Maybe I can convince him to make an exception for me...?



FORGET YOU, SECRETARY, I DO WHAT I WANT



Oh hello, officer! I'd like to speak to the Mayo-



Hey, what's so funny about that? They took over the arcade! This is serious business!



I can't believe it. Laughed right out of the Mayor's office!

Well, I'll show them. I'll show them all! Those Sharks are getting a bat to the face!

.....On the next episode!

Man that episode was long. And you're getting dangerously close to me. I need to start.

It was actually supposed to be a bit longer, but I found a decent place to stop.

And yeah, better hurry up! I'll be in Twoson before you know it!

FYI, when you become too strong for the foes in the area, if you hit them from behind, they die without you going to the battle screen. (You also get the XP and cheddar for winning normally.)

Oh I know, I was just feigning ignorance for COMEDIC EFFECT. I suppose that could have been shown that a little better.

It also works when you attack from the front sometimes, like with the snakes.

Yes good

I approve of this.

I will be your bestest friend.

Don't know what to name nerdy kid and almost bald ninja kid though.

14 bucks for a burger? Theres not enough munchies in the world to justify that price

I know, right?!? Eagleland must be suffering some tough economic times.

name one of them after me!