AWKWARD ZOMBIE

If you kill Giratini in Platinum you can catch him later in the Turnback Cave.

If you kill him in the Turnback Cave, he'll respawn one week later as many times as it takes for you not to kill him.

Fuck.

Seriously.

Fuck me sideways.

If only that happened in sapphire. Btw I love you sig.

Note that:
1: This only happens in Platinum.
2: Heatran does this too, for all three Gen4 games.

Before I go anywhere, I'm giving Anti-Grav an attack that is, at least, half decent!

Magnet Bomb just doesn't do it for us!


Yeah, that's why I bought two thunders. I had the plan on getting a Magnemite for a

looong time!


Behold the crappiness of Magnemite's moves!


Actually, they're not half-bad for a Wild Pokemon. Although Screech is bloody pointless for

a Pokemon that has nearly three times the Special Attack stat as its Attack stat! Even

moreso since it knows Metal Sound at birth!





Right. This time, I plan on going further than five spaces!


Actually, I'm getting sorta bored of random trainer battles. Lets hurry past this route.


This.... in no way can be good...


SO... MUCH... RETARDEDNESS!


Well, in reality, Pikachu is notably better than you'd expect for a Viridian Forest #25

Pokemon. Simply because it learns Volt Tackle (120 power, 100% accuracy, 10% chance

of paralyzation) and can hold the Light Ball (all attacks deal double damage!). Sure, it's not

the best, but it does stand a fighting chance!


SO... MUCH... INNUENDO!


A... giant Remoraid? But those things are tiny!


Okay, seriously, enough with the 'big' jokes already! Yes, I get why a sailor likes it big!


YES! SAILORS LIKE BIG MUSCULAR POKEMON! OKAY!


OH GOD, ITS A PANK MALE POKEMON! GIVE IT A REST, GAME!


Ugh, good! I swear, I do NOT want to challenge the rest of those people!


Flamboyent dressed men too? Seriously, is everyone in this area a blatant homosexual?

Because this is so not fabulous!


Hmm, yes, I can see why you'd want to join the Elite Four! *cough*Bruno*ahem*Lance


Incidentally, did anyone else notice that Bruno has no nipples?


He... didn't really have anything interesting to say. Other than "There is a gym here. You

should totally win a badge for fun times and epic lulz."


Apparently, north past the sea is the Pokemon League. Which this li'l lady says can only be

reached with all badges.

I say SCREW THAT!


C'mon Lickitung, we're back in business!

Its also the first time I had to switch PsyGuy out. I've got a full party now, after all.


Screw the boat, I've got a tongue monster!


Did... does it have a rubbish bin stuck in its mouth or something?
Meh. I resolved not to catch anything and everything just because-


OHLY CARP THAT THING IS CUTE! I MUST CATCH IT!


And in one swift move, it has gone from "cute" to "god-damningly annoying"!


Pokemon Collection +1

PC learned Harden!


It... flies? How? I mean what, those little fin things are meant to be wings, fully capable of

supporting its own weight? Geez!


Don't ask me, apparently that's the game's decision!


Oh yeah. This was the other move that I was searching for FUCKING AGES to get!

Because it boosts Thunder's 70% accuracy to 100% accuracy, making it far more deadly!

And it reduces Fire's power by half and increases Water's by half too.


Apparently, I got Flash Cannon from somewhere. Which is one of the most powerful Steel

attacks, but really because the rest... fairly suck! Except Meteor Mash, exclusive to the

Metagross family and... Clefairy, for some reason. Even Jirachi-exclusive Doom Desire

isn't a very good move!


Yeah. I could have thought it to Machineria, since he's the one that can learn Hydro

Pump, but I felt that his movepool was already full enough, and that Magnemite works as a

good support character.


OH CRAP NO, NOT A TENTACRUEL! NOT AGAIN!


Or, at least, that's what I would be saying except that it's only level 37, and all of my

Pokemon have a super-effective move against it! (three have Psychic attacks, three have

Electric attacks).



Man, my team really isn't diverse at all!


Level 50? Okay, NOW I can proceed to crap my pants!


Pants have been crapped!


YES! Oh awesome, a level 50 Pokemon already!

Take a hike Lickitung, you're not useful for Surf anymore!


Hey, y'know what would've been awesome? If the next gym WASN'T an electric type!


And once again, the Pokedex entry feels the need to point out that, yes, this jellyfish is

BIGGER than you are!

And the league FORCES people to SWIM through this area to get to their destination!

lol hentai


Kid, if you can swim around here without threat of giant monsters attacking you, you don't

need any more training!


Seriously? A Mantyke? Okay, yeah, you do need more training! C'mon, send out at least a

half-decent Pokemon!


Okay, yeah, that's a half-decent Pokemon. I'd be worried now if it didn't have a 4x

weakness to electricity!

Don't ask how that's actually meant to make sense, just go with it.



Why does it keep going 'what' every time something starts evolving? You think it'd learn by

now that this screen only comes up when that happens!


Woop! The crappy Pokemon gets... actually usable! I mean even Porygon was outclassing

him!


Or... it'll just turn into three crappy Pokemon.

LAME!


Whats the point on even picking these up? One random trainer seems to give enough

cheddar for three of these things alone! And even then, they suck in comparison to Dusk

balls, which are cheaper, increases the odds by double AT WORST, even if they do only

work in the night.


A... dive ball.

Okay, never mind Ultra Balls, that's just ridiculous!


Huh. Y'know, my favourite kind of girl is one who DOESN'T TRY AND BEAT ME UP!





Wha- OH FUCK YOU, POKEMON LEAGUE! FUCK YOU IN THE METAPHORICAL booty!

You'd think that a pokemon with fly could just like, fly up the waterfall.

But noooo

WHAT!! I love those little guys!

Although I do wonder where the two other magnemites just magically appear from...

... but yeah, I laughed at this section. I have a soft spot for cheesey innuendos.

Of course not! I haven't visited the top of that waterfall yet, so they wouldn't know where to go!


Doesn't stop them from being craptacular though!


Its never addressed, even for Slowbro, Slowking (how does one even catch a Shellder on its head anyway?), Metang, and Metagross (which wins in this regard, being composed of four Beldums).

Well, except for in the anime. Where Slowbro and Slowking do actually require a Shellder, and the other three Pokemon actually multiply on the spot in their shiny evolving-now form.


...
Please tell me you did that on purpose!
And that you are a girl! Guys don't have 'soft spots'!

You know you love Sunnyshore. It's the perfect place for your fabulous beret and scarf ensemble. You are gonna be one popular dude.

I'm a guy. But I've always been one for self-deprecation.

No, wait, that doesn't work. Does it?

I thoroughly enjoy Plasma's Let'sPlaying style of knowing everything about the game at one moment, then being surprised at seeing new Pokemon the next.

Wait, is that meant to be sarcasm? I'm rather unsure!

I know this is ridiculously off topic, but once, in, like, third grade, or something, I had a science class, and we decorated our science folders...

I made a construction paper Magnemite and glued it on the front of my folder.

It was beautiful (well, at least, I was proud of it).

I'm not being sarcastic. It's inconsistent, but I like it. Do other forum LPers do that, or something? It's new to me.

Usually... not really, no. I do it to give a sense that there's two characters: Dude, the trainer who went through the Kanto region and nothing more, and Me, the player of the game that's, well, me.
I really do it to add more depth. A story spanning a full game about a character whose largely clueless isn't very good, and a story about a kid who knows anything and everything certainly isn't relatable. And it means I get to make more jokes, of course!