AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Guys we are about a third through this game and we're only at about 5 pages. So stop being shy and POST SOME COMMENTS.


Whoa you guys came at me as soon as I walked in here it's like you were waiting for the man with the shotgun to walk in.


Yes, I'm now hitting them with the back of the gun.

I can't risk letting Alien Clawface know I'm nearby. Otherwise he'd escape and it would make me sad.


Oh hey turrets.

At least they're on my side.


They can do their job very well.


I don't get this panel.

There's no info to get out of it. It's for the sole purpose of letting the Trandoshans take over the turret control.

But they're too stupid to do that.


Oh hey look a party.

Time to crash it.


Alas, the poor soldier died while I did all the work.

He will be remembered as one of the biggest jackasses I've ever met and I will dance on his grave.


Oshi I killed his brother now he's going to try and get revenge.


But that does not help the fact that now he is dead too.


Oh hey look a bacta station.

YOU HAVE BEEN ABSENT FOR THE LAST FEW EPISODES WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN.





TRANDDOSHANS.

TRANDOSHANS EVERYWHERE.


Them all grouping together made for the best grenade kill.


And they're STILL not all dead.


Okay fixed that now.


GAAAAA WHAT IS WITH THESE TURRETS THEY ARE FIRING AT ME AND MY SHOTGUN IS HAVING NO EFFECT.


The pistol is actually very effective here.


Right, turrets down, check for more, proceed.


These turrets are inactive.

That gives me an idea!


But those two turrets back there were enough to make me almost dead like.


Go through here.


Use the turrets to my advantage.


Kill another mob of trandoshans.


And get the information they already have.


Now they're just trying to impress me with masks.


Their masks sure don't prevent their faces from being broken.


Another soldier dies in the battle.

He helped a little, but he still died, so that still makes him a jackass.


Wait, they're actually LOCKING doors now?

Maybe they have gotten smarter.


Nothing a bomb can't destroy.

You know, if all these trandoshans are here, Alien Clawface must be nearby.

The moment I find him is the moment I turn back to my fistknifing ways.

Seriously, what is with the lack of comments, I don't want a page filled up with 15 updates.

Speaking of, next update will feature a NEW ENEMY that will revert Clark back to Fistknife status!

Be excite!

[spoiler]I also played through Kashyyk again the other day, and I now know that the final battle against Alien Clawface will take place in the Wookie Garden. Place your bets now![/spoiler]


MAAAAAAAN this place is a WRECK. I'll bet the person who built this ship forgot to add supports so the roof came crashing down.


Nice empty hallway not blocked with debris though.


WHAT IS THIS.

WHY DO YOU WANT ME DEAD.

YOU'RE LOOKING FOR CLARK FISTKNIFE WHO I AM NOT.

I'M CLARK SHOTGUN.


LEEEEEEAAAAAAVVVVVVEEEEEE MEEEEEEEE ALLLLOOOOOOONNNNNNEEEEE.


WHAT DO YOU ALL WANT WITH ME I AM JUST AN ORDINARY GUY CARRYING A SHOTGUN AND MURDERING YOUR SPECIES.

WHY DO YOU ALL WANT ME DEAD.


Oh god the only way I can get this thing off is by knife punching.


Everybody in front of me is dead anyway.


BACTAAAAAAAAAAA.


Oh right, the turret.


NOW FOR BACTAAAAAAAAAAA.


It's been a LONG time since I've placed one of these.


That doesn't lower the satisfaction level of it though.


WHY.
DOES.
EVERYBODY.
WANT.
ME.
DEAD.

I AM NOT CLARK FISTKNIFE IN DISGUISE I AM CLARK SHOTGUN NOW LEAVE ME ALONE FOR SERIOUS.


DON'T YOU COME IN AND MAKE ME GIVE AWAY MY IDENTITY NOW I AM TRYING TO GET TO ALIEN CLAWFACE SO I CAN MURDER HIM.

I mean YOU ALL YOU ARE ALL SO NICE AND I AM STILL NOT CLARK FISTKNIFE.


Several murders later.


Wait a moment.
THAT'S ALIEN CLAWFACE.
AND HE HAS SEV.


SEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVV.

I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU AND KILL MY WORST ENEMY.

HOLD ON TO YOUR HELMET.

Just read through all the updates. This is probably the second best LP going on right now here.

Sev's rescue mission is sooooo freaking hard.

Scorch's rescue is the best though.

Forty's rescue doesn't exist, because he's not interesting enough to be captured.

Woah woah woah hold up.
Scorch is still alive?

You are all getting lucky because I have time for a double update today.

Also: Next should I do Cocoron for the NES or Jedi Knight II for the PC?


Well, this sure looks inviting.


Wow, actually, it is a bit inviting.

An empty room with corpses of soldiers everywhere is ALWAYS inviting!


IT'S A TRAP.

Who'd have thought.


AND the trap expands two rooms!

Maybe I've underestimated the Trandoshans' IQ a bit.


On one side we have a door blocked by flaming debris.


Oh you silly slaver always blocking Door number two and then not even getting all the way in the picture.


Where were we?

Oh yeah, door number two has no debris and a lot less chance of death.

I'll have to go with number two on this one.


Where does he think he's going?

Maybe he's getting a surprise party for me?


Maybe I have to place a bomb on the door to get in the party so they know to hide.


SURPR-

Wait, only a Trandoshan and a scavenger droid?

THIS IS THE WORST PARTY EVER.


It's never a party until somebody gets blasted in the face at point blank range with a shotgun.


And all the guests are trying to kill you.


YOU TWO ARE LATE TO THE PARTY.


YOU DESERVE TO BE BLASTED IN THE FACE AT A POINT-BLANK RANGE WITH A SHOTGUN FOR THIS.


But they DID bring me a present.

How did they know I wanted an armed proximity mine?


Oh and Fixer's still alive.

Why couldn't Scorch or Sev have lived? Why is my least favorite still alive?


Oh cool bacta.


I already got one of these guys.

I don't need anymore.


I'll disarm it anyway.

Since you went through all that trouble.


You know, with everyone trying to kill me, I don't think this is a surprise party anymore.


Let's see. I can blow a hole in the wall...


Or crawl through the vent.

...Well, I haven't missed a Gordon Freeman opportunity yet.


Heeeeyyyy, a lightsaber.

I would use this if it weren't for the fact that my skill with melee weapons would give away my identity.


Somehow these guys are psychic and knew I was going to come out of the vent.

This freaks me out a little.


OH FFFF IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?


FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

IT IS.

IT IS ALIEN CLAWFACE.


Oh yes I have been waiting for this moment since they used my DNA to make him, the first ever Trandoshan.

THIS WILL BE A BATTLE TO THE DEATH.


Yo! Clawface! Looking for me?


Stop missing me with your minigun at point blank range it makes you look stupid.


You sure can take a lot of hits. I've already hit you like 14 times.

And stop using your minigun and actually use your Fist knife already you're making this battle very anti-climatic.


FINALLY. Now we can have a REAL battle!


Oh man, you sure can knife punch...

Gotta take a breather for a minu-


...
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Good think I was carrying that Bacta Revival Tank in my pocket or I would have died.


Come ON! Will you JUST DIE ALREADY.


I think I've got you now!


WAIT A MINUTE.

This isn't the real Alien Clawface! This is a clone!




Hey we get to blow stuff up again.

What fun.


Oops I missed the explosion oh well.


So, now that I've revealed my identity, I can know knife punch at will.



Oh hey a bug.

These things aren't even worth screenshotting anymore.


I think I like this gun I picked up.

I really think I do.


I mean, look at that MASSIVE DAMAGE!


Oh hey, there you are Fixer.

What do you mean turn arou-


DROID DISPENSER.

WHY ARE YOU HERE.


I WENT ON THIS MISSION SO I WOULD NEVER HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOU AGAIN.

BUT YOU GUYS ARE JUST LIKE, "hey lets go screw with Fistknife he'll kill us"
"cool man"


I HATE YOU ALL.

GO TO HELL.

ALL OF YOU DROIDS.

ALLLLLLL OOOFFFFFF YOOOOOUUUUUU.


Oh hey Fixer you opened the door.

THAT IS GREAT.


All right Fixer you're the only guy I have left to order around we need to kill every single droid in existence right now.

LET'S GO.

Anticipating Zink's Oblivion stream tonight (6:00) and the return of Lonk (Mr. Mander) if you do not go to these events you are not a real boy you are a puppet.


Is EVERY SINGLE PART of this ship damaged? Seriously, how the hell do they manage this.


There are slavers in the next room.

Fixer is apparently scared of them.

This is why he can't be my favorite.


They are inferior and cannot surpass my mightiness.

They should all be bowing down the the original, not some clone of myself.


Oh look another generic room for generic people this will generically generate some genetically generic commentary.


Not much stuff generically happens generically besides generic scavenger droids and other generically generic things of genericness.


And then a generic load of generic trandoshans show up generically to try and generically get a generic kill for their generic boss.


There is generic knife punching.


[insert generic joke here]


WHAT DOES THAT TRANDOSHAN THINK HE IS DOING TO THE TURRETS.

I THINK HE THINKS HE'S BREAKING THEM.


Sev?!

He's alive?!

HAPPINESS ENSUES.


Generic.


For once, the sniper attachment comes in handy.


(this part is embarrassing because i accidentally went backwards to the start.)


Mistake fixed.


I liked the other way better lets go back.


TURRETS.

MILLIONS OF THEM.

ALWAYS SHOOTING.

IT JUST.

KEEPS.

HAPPENING.


And now trandoshans show up.

JUST DANDY.


Why am I taking this huge detour anyway I should have just broken through the window and been like "YEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH sup bitches."

Oh yeah Fixer is a wimp.


More troshans.


This never gets boring.

NEVER.

Once you have experienced this once you never want to stop.

I actually think this runs in my family.

Let me think...


Yeaaah, great great great great great great grandfather Altair Wristknife. One of the greatest assassins of his time.

He would be so proud of me.


Sup bitches I'm here for your prisoner.


And nobody is going to stop me.


Except for this.

BUT THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT.


Oh come ON Sev. Can't you go for a minute without getting knocked unconscious.


Oh, now I see the problem.


You are still just a clone.

Only the REAL Alien Clawface stands a chance


Your fistknifing skills ARE PATHETIC.

Come back when you get REAL experience in this sacred art.


You sonofabitch.


Oh look his friends.

What. a. surprise.


Well guys that was fun we ought to do that again sometime.

You guys did a nice job of getting rid of the remote jamming.