AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I call shenanigans
no wait...
I call bullshit

ESRB sees no nudity, not too much blood, pretty cartoony violence really, no swearing except "crap".

It's an E game, no matter what else is in it, undertones or overtones or anything else.

I feel really silly getting all worked up over a game but please tell me I'm not the only one who is really disgusted and saddened by the mutant turrets?

I'm emancipating all of them I can because I just want to put them out of their misery. I can't stop thinking of gene-splicing experiments and it just...ugh it's getting to me.

It doesn't help that I just managed to listen close enough to their noises to hear "I'm Confused" and I just ugugdhkhj weird onset of various emotions. This game is heavy stuff...E rated it may be.

That's really the point. You're supposed to feel bad about the poor things, they were made to shoot at things and be put on buttons and now they're some sort of freak and they don't know why or how and who is this yelling at them and why are they being picked up and OH MY GOD IT'S A PERSON OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING AAAAAAAOH MY GOD THERE'S A BUTTON OH MY GOD OH MY GOD WHAT WHY AM I FLYING AND OH GOD THERE'S THAT YELLING GUY AND OW OKAY I HIT MY FACE ON THE SCREEN THERE AND OH NO A PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

except it supposed to be cute, not freaky.

I felt kinda bad in an "aww :<" kind of way to the healthy turrets who got squished when you put the defective one in the template scanner, but idk the mutant ones really get me in a totally different way. More of a breaching the boundary of my knowledge that it is just a game and directly spitting in the face of my code of ethics or...something.

I don't see how those grotesque noises and terrified eyes and little twitchy legs are supposed to be cute in any sense of the word :<


La la I take games far too seriously etc

I just hate it when you put em on a button and the little fuckers start hopping away

...

do they

do that, to you?

I mean honestly once you pick them up they curl up, and they're coded to stay that way on a button.

That's... weird.

I think Kale might be saying something happened that didn't really happen.

Because that's never supposed to happen.

I hate when I set them down to do something and I turn around and the little fucker is POUNCING ON ME

It makes it worse that they'll actually look up at you before they do it if you're close enough

Just to be clear, I know that they hop around if you set them down on the ground, but I've never once see one move off of a button.

Yeah, if you're not careful about how you position them, they'll hop in the direction they're facing

...

off a button?

Are you putting them entirely on the button or are you just kinda dropping and forgetting, because if they're JUST BARELY on the button yeah I guess it could happen.

If they're right on the button though the rim is bodaciously too high for them to get over.

If you put a walking cube ON a button it curls up and becomes a cube.

If you don't, it hops around. Push it against the floor before letting go of it to put it on its back like a helpless turtle, then it can't jump around.

I liked the mutant turrets. They were like some adorable two headed hermit crab except made of metal and is a cube.