AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Not to get off topic, but I played a really bad point and click game once and it said I got eaten by a grue at the end.

Cool, Zork is an interactive game. I love those things.

Why is it that instead of him being scared, I see time warping and his voice playing really quickly before the world collapses. Like, oh my godddddddd-END OF WORLD.

rererererererererererererererererererere

Interfererererererererererererererererere.

Totally referencing that somewhere in my comics.

It sounds like something Momo would say. HMM.

So... Cyrus and Shadowthingy are gone, and a giant... hole... thing appeared in its place. I can only guess at what happened since, because the game is apparently incapable of understanding that I am not the same person as Cyrus, I didn't see what happened despite staring straight at the two all the time!

Also, there's now a Cynthia here too. Freaky.


And the three Emotion Pokemon. What, did I accidentally gatecrash an NPC party up here or something?


We're not looking for the answer, we're looking for the question!


That's... great? I sure am glad I know what that horrible Elbereth abominations' name is!


Well, since I did come up here expecting a final boss fight, and not some huge Deus Ex Machina (of the literal kind), yeah, I think so.



Now you're thinking with portals!



Cynthia: blessed with the power to tell if there are Pokemon nearby.

Either that, or she just noticed the conspicuous lack of long grass. Pokemon can't exist outside of long grass!


Hawkings would have a field day with this discovery!


I'd personally call it The Final Dungeon, but okay.


Look, lady, make it simple:
HELP FIGHT ENEMY OR BAD STUFF WILL HAPPEN!
Its the basic premise of every RPG ever. You only need to say that part to get people going already.


RANDOM TRAVELLING!


Wait what? What the fuck? Of course we're going downwards, a screwed up spacetime doesn't mean you lose your sense of direction!


MORE RANDOM TRAVELLING!


Apparently, this is the only time in the game that you actually get to jump, other than off tiny ledges. But only on these small platforms.

I think I've been transported to a Legend Of Zelda game.


SOME MORE RANDOM TRAVELLING!


O...kay? So this place doesn't have any sort of life at all... except for giant identical plants.
This place is seriously fucked up.


And it's Mespirit! Who... is... apparently trying to lure me off the edge of the ledge.
Man, you guys seriously are a liability!


Oh SHIT WHAT WHAT I DON'T EVEN? How is this possible?!

Oooooh, now I get how climbing works in buildings! Even though it looks like the actors are just walking on sideways props of buildings with the camera tilted, it's not; they actually screw up spacetime to make the shot!


YET EVEN MORE RANDOM TRAVELLING/WALKING ON WALLS!


Also, some pieces of land have special actions. Some work as elevators and move up and down when you stand in the centre.


Some move as platforms when you go to an edge.


And some... wait, what the fuck? Cynthia?!


What the heck do you mean by that? You ran miles ahead of me as soon as we got here! And knowing the physics of this messed up place, we probably took two hundred different paths to get to this point!

So anyway, MORE RANDOM TRAVELLING!


Posting uneventful screenshots like this conveys how BLOODY FUCKING MASSIVE AND UNENDING THIS PLACE IS!! ITS A FUCKING MIX OF ALICE IN WONDERLAND AND THE NEVERENDING STORY! EXCEPT WITH THE ENDINGS REMOVED!


WHAT?! Freaking 'A, game, if you had actually let me seen what I actually saw, I would've known that already and not have wasted my time!


Oh right. He was just talking about this part of the area. Umm... no hard feelings, right game?


How does this guy know all this stuff anyway? I mean he just gets pulled down here and suddenly he's got a full major on the place?

Pay no attention to my own complete knowledge of Pokemon and their moves.


Seriously dude, how do you know this? Did this barren physic-less wasteland have one giant library that I somehow missed or something?


What? That's your entire dilemma? Trying to defeat one single wild Pokemon? Why? Is it some sort of super-mega-ultra-Bidoof or something?


Unless the Universe has been backed up or something.

...
OH SHIT! THIS ENTIRE PLACE IS THE BACKUP WORLD! SENSE MADE!


I... I think I scared him.

Wait, wasn't I meant to fight him? Crap.



Bleugh! This is more vertigo-inducing than the Clockwork Mansion stage in Castlevania 4!


And now we have Uxie! Who, for some reason, seems to have a fetish for boulders?


GEE, YA DON'T SAY!


Ew.

Ewwwwwwww!



Okay, y'know what? Maybe there's a puzzle involved here and they're not just trying to get it on with inanimate rocks.


Oh. So thats it. Its the one point in the entire game where you can actually push the rocks off the edge.


MORE RANDOM WANDERIMINGS!


This is... this is really messed up!


Seriously, sooo messed up!



Alright, at this point, it just gets tedious. So to summarise:


You need to push the rocks down the holes, go down the elevator, find where the rocks go, and push them into those holes that the Emotion Trio are standing next.
As far as I can tell, this is the game's way of trying to make the Trio actually, in some way, useful. It failed.


But... isn't this place devoid of time completely?


Oh yeah, and pushing rocks into holes causes a platform to appear here.

I swear, this place must have been where H.P. Lovecraft used to live!


OH GEEZUS CRIPES HOW THE HELL DID HE GET HERE FIRST?! He didn't even have any Legendary Pokemon to help him push boulders into holes!


Gee, great retort there Cynthia. I can really see your debating powers being put to use.


Man makes a good point. If it means having to destroy the entire universe just to get some peace and quiet, then so be it!


I... thought we already did interfere. Several times. To the point that a god actually went out of its way stop you himself!



Oh yeah, special Final Boss episode next time, woop! Although it might come a little late, just a heads up.

Cynthia wants Cyrus


hard

Yes, well, that's Just It!

Okay, sorry, I know I was meant to be done with bad puns...


I'm... I'm sorry? I think you forgot the part where you said you were ready to fight this time.

Incidentally, is there any chance that Cynthia standing over there is going to help in this fight?
No?
Well that about sums things up.


But what about... to me?!

Well of course you will, because even if I do lose I'm just gonna come straight back before you can do anything.


Ehh... y'know what? We're in a mysterious alternate world. 2-D 'imagine it yourself' sprites just aren't gonna do this justice. How 'bouts we bump this up a dimension?





Theeere we go! Now this is gonna be awesome!



Aaand once again, the first match-up is not in my favour.
Although that's not saying much, since half my team are weak to dark types, which most of his Pokemon are (Cyrus is a Dark/Flying trainer).


Hmm... a Level 40 vs a Level 47 with a huge type advantage.
EVEN ODDS!

Actually, should probably mention it now. Because I'm doing this in 3D, I'm at a serious disadvantage: I can't use any healing or status items, I can't switch out right after KOing one of his Pokemon, and Rotom gets put back to his original form (which means a hefty stat downgrade and no Overheat). The only advantage is that the AI is slightly dumber (whereas Cyrus is the Big Bad and therefore at maximum intelligence, in this game IQ is based off of the highest Pokemon level of the party, and 48/100 isn't the highest of the high).


Oh yeah, and a second mention: this was recorded via DVD, not direct screenshots, so any excessive motion will appear blurry at freeze-frame. I would put the whole battle (7 minutes long) up on YouTube if I knew how to convert VOB to AVI.
Also, the characters? They're wearing different outfits here. While you do get a choice in characters and costumes (the sole Pokemon game that has), there's no option for "Look like Dude" or "Look like big evil guy". Let's pretend its the Distortion World's fault!


Oh yeah, fuck, I'm still in a battle! Forgot about that!


Aaand Gardevoir goes down in a horribly over-dramatic death!

Its also probably the only time in any game you actually get to see her legs!

Edit: OH GODS I DO NOT MEAN IT LIKE THAT YOU PERVERTS!


So with a horrible start and having made no attack at all, we're now at an even 5-v-5. Except that's counting Epilepsie, for some reason.


Like I said, Machineria has to be put back to Ye Olden Mode, as this game was made pre-Platinum. And like I said, this means a huge reduction in stats and no BurnInHell attack.


It doesn't, howver, make him any less of an overpowered bastard!
PlainOldThunder to the Face!


Despite being in a cave, and despite being firmly on the ground, Pimpcrow doesn't last one hit! So long, Sombrero Bird!

Say, wasn't that the Pokemon that utterly destroyed most of my team last time?


Oh god, Sneasel evolved?! I really thought I was done for good with those buggers!


I'm gonna put this out here: without Overheat, Machineria really isn't going to survive this...


Aaaand I was right. Thank you Rotom's Normal Form, you have been something of a waste of a Pokemon slot!


Right. Weavile won't stand a chance against Drain Punch, but it doesn't look like PsyGuy would survive a direct attack from a Level 48 dark-type.


...

Heh. Y'know, a few seconds ago, I was thinking "Ice punch? Not a dark-type move like Night Slash? Wow, this AI must be really useless!"
Then I remember that Dark is weak against Fighting types. I am honestly ashamed of my lack of knowledge on type weaknesses!

Although, come to think of it, its nigh-on impossible to remember what what when it comes to Dragon types. It doesn't help that there's barely any of them!


Fortunately, PsyDude manages to survive.

I still think PsyGuy looks really awesome in 3D! Except for the... crotch... bulge.

OH GODS!


Why does everyone in this game love to run? It's turn based, take your time!


Okay, with any luck, that will have been the last Sneasel/Weavile I'll eveer have to see! Brr...

So two down, three to go! Bring out the next Pokemon, I'll kick its booty!


...
FREAKING 'A! I NEVER REALISED GYARADOS IS SO FAHREAKING MASSIVE!

At least I now know why nobody ever needs food though: one Gyarados could feed you for a month!


I'm... gonna switch to a Pokemon that won't get its head ripped off in this fight.

Oh yeah, and in case you're wondering, the colour and effects of the SendOut/Return stuff is dependant on the Pokeball. The 2D games never really used Pokeball differentiation well (although Platinum sorta did), but it was always prominent in the 3D games. Its a nice touch.


A long eel requires a long tongue! Aha!


Nah, I wasn't actually win, I didn't meant to send him out! My... wiimote slipped!
Try not to think about what I just said...


Oh... SHIT LICKITUNG!
For those that don't know, Giga Impact is the physical form of Hyper Beam; really REALLY powerful, but takes a turn to recharge. Which makes it really lucky that I did accidentally send this guy out!


If Final Fantasy has taught me anything, its that big attacks require big special effects! Geez!


...oh yeah, Machineria isn't with me anymore. (how is a ghost supposed to die anyway?)
I'm... not too sure how I'll win this one. PsyGuy won't work too well, half his team are flying. Roosevelt isn't a fighter. And Epilepsie... why do I still have him on my team?


Oh well. Y'know what they say; want not, waste lots!

Plus, Epilepsie does still have Discharge! Man am I glad I didn't stick with Signal Beam for variety!


Wow, geez, umm... owch! That's far more impressive than Platinum's "yellow circle attack" version!


So he's half dead. Unfortunately, the recharge from Giga Impact only lasts for this turn, and he's faster than me...
So long Epilepsie, it was nice meeting you! (Hm, do virtual Pokemon go to heaven?)


Oh...
OH SHIT THAT IS AWESOME!
That effect? That means an item has just come into play!
I equipped Epilepsie with Quick Claw.
That means...


I ATTACK FIR-
Umm... what happened to your head?
Good Epilepsie, you look kind of cool!

Yeah, it wasn't a modelling error. The 3D Pokemon games have Pokemon that actually have body parts separated (other than Porygon-Z). Most notable is Magneton which is actually, more faithfully, just three Magnemite! It looks cool if you saw it!

Also, speaking of animation, Porygon2's is awesome! He bobs his head like one of those drinking ducks! Seriously, you just gotta see it...


Oh yeah, Gyarados didn't survive. Natch.


Three down, two to go! And this time it's... the hellhound's older brother? I don't know what that thing is, all I know is that I WANT IT!


I TAKE IT BACK! I DO NOT WANT IT ANYMORE!


Oh yeah, I missed the screenshot. Epilepsie, somehow, manages to survive the attack!

Which means I can use...


HYP- OH GOD THAT IS REALLY GOING TO HURT!


Houndoom knows what's coming to him!


...
WHY HAVE I BEEN DOING A LETSPLAY OF A CRAPPY 2D GAME ALL THIS TIME?!


So he, um, somehow managed to survive that.

Although I think I just broke his neck there... egh!

Nah, again, not an animation error. It just really doesn't look so good in a freeze frame!


Ah yes, Dark Pulse; one of my more favourite attack animations!
Also, it hurts. A lot!


Oh... god...

That's gonna hurt in the morning!


So its down to an even 50:50. Although when you include level difference and how much Roosevelt sucks, its more of a 10:90.
I'm honestly surprised I managed to make it this far. I really lucked out on that Gyarados.


LETS PUT THIS DOG TO SLEEP!


Oh geez, Roosevelet. Why did I even bother with you...


Actually, this is the first sign of a lesser AI: not knowing not to use special-type attacks on Blissey.

That damage meter is after two of these attacks, by the way.


Even Sing? C'mon, every move in this game seems to get some superspecial effect for it!


Glad to see you're useful for the single move you're good for!

Although now comes the problem of the fact that she can't actually use Dream Eater, as a result of it being a Dark type. Thank you very much Roosevelt, you have been a dissapointment to our team!


So once again, PsyGuy gets his time in the spotlight! At least one of you is capable of doing actual damage!


Okay... I'm up against the final boss, and even I think what's gonna happen is just cruel! Whatever happened to "let sleeping dogs lie, until they wake up and rip your Psychic-type a new one"?


DOG FALLS DOWN!

So... last Pokemon is a...?


OH GEESUZ FUCK HELL FUCK THAT BAT IS JUST WAY TOO FLIPPING HUGE! LOOK AT THAT THING! ITS MASSIVE!


THIS THING IS THE STUFF OF NIGHTMARES! AND I USED TO THINK GOLBAT WAS SCARY!

Wait, Cross Poison? Instead of an air attack? Wut?


It... really doesn't do much. At all.

REVENGE TIME!


Ohh... so that's how Psycho Cut works!
Man, if this wasn't a poor DVD quality image, I would totally have used that as my wallpaper!


Hah! Take that, you Elbereth Abomination! Nothing could survive an attack like that!


OH YOU GODDAM FUCKING BAT!


Ah, now that's better!

Well, actually, no it's not! Go back to the poison attack, goddamnit!


PsyGuy... manages to survive that one too? Huh, well waddya know.


MORE REVENGE! AHAHAH!

Seriously, the Psycho Cut effect kicks so much booty!


Yeah, it does't survive. Let the monster die in peace.



BEST! TAUNT! EVER!

Oh yeah, and of course:
WOOTINARY!!
Coming now to a cinema near you.



What... Pokemon? Aren't you the final boss?

Oh right, Giratina. I forgout about him, and his world-destroying portal or something.

I should probably focus right now.


Hmm, right... so I can either do nothing and let the world be destroyed by it, or I can defeat it and let the world be destroyed by you.


GREAT WORK GAME! THANKS A LOT!


But... if I don't believe his lies.... is he now no longer a miserable pile of a man?


I like how you say 'meet' when you actually mean 'utterly destroy'. A nice touch.


In fairness, it was pretty much all PsyGuy's work. He took out most of the team by himself!


Once again: WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS GAME GOT INSTA-HEALING POWERS BUT ME?!


So, next update: the... boss after the Final Boss.

Oh right, its a JRPG. Forgot.










STUFF OF NIGHTMARES!

Wow, those are some really nice attack animations! Why don't I have that game?

http://i661.photobucket.com/albums/uu33 ... a/M167.png


i really did lol at the bat alot in that

Oh shit, that battle was so intense you busted out a whole extra dimension. :O

What game is that? I don't seem to be familiar with it.

Pokemon Battle Revolution. The fourth-gen Pokemon Stadium-esque game.

I figured. I never bought that game for some reason though. That last pic of Crobat makes it look like a demon or something, I mean it has two sets of eyes!

Battle Revolution has such nice special effects, It's a shame most of the pokemon look like they have been ripped from Stadium.

Battle Revolution more like No more fun Minigames for you.