AWKWARD ZOMBIE

The new image of evil masterminds. Giving away stuff?

Maybe the master ball is a timed bomb? Yes, that must be it. *nods*

That Honchkrow will eventually learn Heat Wave. Somehow.

I mean how the hell...?

Cool update bro.

I still demand to stick to my schedule!


So anyway, continuing on with-
Wait, this was not the right warp panel. Lets try again.


So anyway, continuing on with the story, I now have to make my way through Mt. Coronet,

since that's where Cyrus went. Because apparently, I am now a stalker.


Oh gosht! A meandering scientist and a green unspecified machine! Those represent

that research is being done on something nearby!


The game sends out a strong message that only with science can we truly heal the sick!

Screw you, Jesus!


More unspecified green machines! Whatever's up ahead must be really important to have

so much pointless hi-teeeeechnical stuff in their hallway!


All... right then, the game sends out a strong message that science only brings chaos and

maloverance? Make up your mind already!


Well shit, I think it's latched firmly onto the "Science is bad" bandwagon now! Geezus!


But... you're his right-hand man. You must have practically made all of this stuff! How do you

not know what he's planning on doing?
Heck, even some of the higher-level mooks know that he's trying to make a new universe!


PLOT TWIST! Or, at least it would be if anyone actually cared about Charon or Saturn.


He's... he's not even listening right now, y'know. He genuinely can't hear you.

Speaking of which, have you even noticed me yet?


Theere ya go! And not really, I came here to stop the Big Bad from carrying out his evil

schemes! ....which I didn't really stop at all, come to think of it.

Oh shit, I let him just walk right out the building, didn't I? Goddam, I've been fighting too many

mooks, they're spreading to me!


Perhaps he was in awe at the sheer awesomeness of my stylish beret?
Its very awesome y'know. Just saying.


So... you're like a Snorlax?
Wait, no, Snorlax eliminate all that they need (food) and take all that they don't (time. More

speficially, my time as I have to go all the way back looking for a fucking PokeFlute because

they don't move their BIG FAT ARSES!)


With... tea, by any chance? Maybe?


Hm. Y'know, trying to beat me up and knock out all my Pokemon isn't really a particularly

good way to welcome someone. Just saying.


A Golbat? You still haven't evolved it? I mean, even the guy who makes a point not to make

friends with his Pokemon managed to evolve his!


Oh yeah, I'm just after a major battle.

Wait, what the hell?! Dude, I'm just after a major battle! You can't battle me before I reach a

healing point, it's... against the rules! C'mon, just because you're the bad guys doesn't mean

you're exempt from regular RPG code!


That being said, at this rate, a single Hyper Potion should be enough to let Machineria take

town its three opponents!


...or the entire Hyper Potion gets put to waste because of poison. Great.



What, Golbat doesn't last five seconds against Thunder.
Bronzor, however, is a bit... iffy. In the sense that there's a 50:50 chance that it'll either have

a 2x weakness to fire, or a 0x immunity to it. And if the latter, it's going to be a bast to take

down!


Fortunately for me, its the former. Woops are in order.


Hmm?
Oh crap, I forgot that, since I don't have any other Pokemon to switch to, I'm stuck with

the 1/2 damage thing now!


Pokemon number 3 of 3. Presuming that Charon doesn't try take my head off on top of this

too!


Psychick is much more capable of fighting this battle than a half-dead, half-damaging

microwave.


Alright, now its a fully dead microwave. Looks like this machine has given up the ghost!


Its a failsafe. Gardevoir will be great... if she can actually get a hit in.
Have I mentioned that she's actually horribly slow?


And has a weakness to Dark-type attacks, which pretty much every Toxicroak comes with

nowadays?


Machineria wipes it out with one hit of-


...oh? It actually survived somehow. That must've been the first opponent I've seen in a while

not to spontaneously die at the first attack!


Same plan as last time; Machineria won't do squat at its post-Overheat, about-to-die-now

stage.


That ol' Microwave really isn't coming along as great as it used to...


And the sad part is that its still by far the best Pokemon I can use here. Even better than the

two Pokemon that have a x4 advantage against this guy!


The event that was seen coming throughout the entire world!


Machineria really is a sucker for hype!


NYAH! That seriously shouldn't have taken so long to do!
Seriously, what is it with all of the enemies' team sucking except for the last one?!

Maybe there is a good reason why they don't bother to take 6 Pokemon...


Dude, you're the one with the boss who doesn't even care if your plans are ruined by

one little kid!


Ew. I only wanted to catch them, not... that!

Wait, that was your research?!


That's all? Really? Man, Bravehart would be completely different in today's world!


Oh hey, it actually worked.
Umm... why did they just have one giant red button that essentially just destroys their plans,

and nothing more?


Hmm... plot says 'no'.
What, as if there's ever any game where the bad guys just kill everyone mid-game.

Heck, even in FinalFantasy7, where the bad guy does destroy the entire solar system,

its played off as doing absolutely nothing at all to Earth!




And now I am back on the ground floor again. Apparently, I could've skipped the entire

battling sequences in this building if I had just wired this warp panel to work both ways.


Y'know, I have to wonder, how many times would I have Blacked Out if I stopped going to

PokeCenters?

Actually, not all that much, considering how cheap the HP restoration berries are to buy.


Bla bla Staravia gets put in the team and does nothing at all past the first flight.
She's eternally stuck at level 21!


Onwards! Onwards to the final epic battle over the fate of the universe! And other such stuff I

don't really care about.


Didn't Staravia used to have a head?

Right guys, heads up: the upcoming entire Mt Coronet section takes up a full 5 episdes (counting this one as half, and the last one as half). Just to let ya know!


Soo... I'm to make my way through Mt. Coronet and try find Cyrus. So I guess I should...


DIVERGE FROM THE PLOT AGAIN! AHAHAHAH i wanna be an npc too.


...
Y'know, its times like these I seriously regret not having a water-type Pokemon...


Yes, back in Ye Olde Pokemonne Mansion. If someone you will remember, I still have some business to deal with...


THE 5-MAID KNOCKOUT EXACT-TURN ATTACK! THIS TIME, WITH FEELING!

And thief. I wants 'em candies!

Sides, its not like the bad guy is gonna go ahead with his nefarious plot if I'm not there to witness it!


Its 8 now? Back 15 levels or so it was at flipping 5! This'll be a pushover.


Level25? Seriously? You've got to be kidding me, this is just pathetic!


1 down, 4 to go.


2 down, 3 to go!


3 down, - wait, FUCK!

Endure: on the turn you use it, you can't die! Fails when used in succession.


Still dead, but it does mean I wasted a turn.
But I'll be fine as long as the next Clefairy doesn't-


OH FOR FUCK SAKE! This is so goddam cheap!






.....and that's the fifth down. Unfortunately, because they kept using Endure,


I miss by 1. Making this entire diversion an utter waste of time!



Or... not a complete waste of time after all. I didn't notice this book last time...


Yeah. Unlike Diamond and Pearl, Manaphy (Sinnoh Dex #151) is required to have been seen to be able to get the National Dex.

Y'know, I always found it odd how Manaphy was in that Dex but Phione wasn't. I mean, I get that they wanted a Mew-esque Pokemon, and the three other event-only Pokemon already had in-game locations,

but anyone who does get a Manaphy can also get a Phione, meaning that it automatically can't be gotten without breaking the Dex Registration. If you ask me, they should've put Phione in there instead.


Anyway, I think its time I ventured back into Yonder Mountain.


I did some research. Turns out Lickitung was the only Pokemon I had that could learn all the HMs I needed to have to pass this mountain.
He still has some useful moves, like Supersonic, so I hope I don't need all four basic ones.


The quickest way from here is straight through Route 208, but if I hadn't wanted to waste my time on the 5-Portions-Of-Maids-A-Day challenge, I would've gone to Oreburgh City and through Route 207, which

is distinctly quicker.


Ohhh yeah, I forgot about the extra items that I never picked up! Well that's HM #1 taught to him. It better be worth it!


Oh... Ether.

For those who don't know, and by which I mean have never actually touched a Pokemon game, Ether can be described as... 'shitsux'. You'll rarely, if ever, need them. And when you do, the PP berry works

better!


And thus begins my epic journey of courage, romance, danger, excitement, and...


...Lots, and lots, of Zubat!


Isn't Stardust that sort of candy thing that kids used to eat that was, like, 110% sugar?
Meh.


Ah crap, wild Bronzor too?
Oh wait, this is the perfect chance to catch one for myself!


Ah frick. Better switch to plan B then!


AH FRICK!


Nonetheless, I caught it anyway! Wootinary!


Y'know, if I was writing this entry, I'd be saying "Like Zubats, only actually capable".


Eh? Getit? Eh, eh? Oh ho ho I'm such a fucking genius!


I think I've had enough Bronzor for one day, this Cleanse Tag should really make things easier!

Don't ask me how its supposed to work. Maybe... Zubats are afriad of people they think fought in the army?


A Dawn Stone... in a fucking cave?! How does the sun even get in here?!


HM #2 at work!


HM #3, Rock Climb, was also needed. I wish I had some sort of mountaineering experience...


Aaaaand... fuck, that'd be HM #4. Bubye, Supersonic!


And Lickitung is now completely and wholely a HM slave. Brilliant.


Oh.
SHIT!


I don't know what that is, but its face rings a bell!


It was also surprisingly easy to catch, actually. Drain Punch got it to near-death in one go.


It...
Wait, that can't be right.
It steals moisture from other worlds, somehow? Shouldn't we be worrying about contamination from new viruses or such? And does that mean 'other worlds' as in different dimensions or just different

planets?

I am so confused...


My own take on a classic tale, summed up in two words!

Well you'd feel the same if you found out how it actually ended in the book!


Rope! No rope! And only last night you said to yourself: “Sam, what about a bit of rope? You'll want it, if you haven't got it." Well, I'll want it. I can get it now.



Oh, um, how did this happen? I seem to have completely come out the other side of the mountain. That isn't what I want!


But that is something I want though! I like how the game just randomly rewards me for screwing up in finding where to go!


Aaand once again, I find another coloured shard implanted in the wall. I swear, one day, I'm gonna find an actual use for these things!

I can't help but notice the distinct lack of activity in this thread.

RESPOND MORE! It makes my ego feel loved!



And so I return to the darkness! It is like a home for me, from the one that I used to call home, before I was tossed out into the harsh cruel world. And other such emo poetry nonsnese.


Surely I can't be the only one constantly disturbed by so many wild human-like Pokemon around here. This ones even wearing baggy pants, for cripes sake!


Of course, its still a monster, so I KO it with... my own enslaved human-like Pokemon...

I am an abyss.


Y'know, on reconsideration, these things aren't quite as rare as I originally thought.


Ah, bollocks! More Graveler!


Look, I've played enough Pokemon games to know that its never a good idea to stay and fight a wild Graveler; aside from that it gives low HP, takes time, and costs PP, if your attack misses there's a 1/4 chance of INSTADEATH!


Alright, this cave enterance has unique scenery around it so- OH FUCK SAKE LOOKER!


So I am too late... Cyrus has already begun his dastardly plot to destroy cave paintings everywhere!

Shed a tear for poor Cave Painting #2.


It doesn't matter what is happening in an RPG, all you need to know is that there is a bad guy. In every RPG, defeating him will automatically be the target of the game, regardless of how much wrong he is doing.


OH GEEZUS FUCK have you been getting training advice from McPants?!


Oh. Ha ha. It was a joke. I get jokes. Yes.


I am... the chosen one!...? When did this game go all... Final Fantasy on us?


Hm? Oh yay, now I can catch Ekans, right?


I still don't quite get how you expect a single kid to do more than an expert PI, but okays.

Man, y'know what'd be funny? If the Elite Four tried to stop the evil-doers at any stage! Hahahah.


Ah right. It works like a ever-usable repel. Like the original PokeFlute worked as an awakening.

Actually, this is the first game not to have an infinite tool or something similar that wakes up Pokemon. Gen1 and Gen3 had the flutes, Gen2 had the radio (didn't work in battle), and the Gamecube games had the absolutely ingenous idea of... calling the Pokemon's name.
This really would be so much easier if you could wake a Mon just by talking to it!


1: Give away plans
2: Fail at battling


Well, at least its nice to know he's good at his job then...


Stop.
Galactictime!


Man, I remember waay back that I used to have a problem with birds being able to fly inside of caves.

Now I only have a problem with birds being able to fly. I mean look at that thing! Its wings are tiny, and its head is HUGE!


Oh yeah, I never addressed the issue of cheddar. Or more specifically, how imbalanced it is.
Y'see, in normal RPGs, the system is that the harder the opponent, the more cheddar that they give upon defeat. In this game, this guy gives me less dough than a boy 25 levels back, and the only difference between them is that this guy is called a Grunt while the boy is Rich. What, we're seriously to believe that the amount of cheddar someone has is tied to their actual wealth?


Aw crap, more snow! But why?

Oh yeah, because the Final Boss is up ahead. I suppose there'll be a fire part next then.


Its too cold outside for random wandering around.

Also, I can't help but notice how the game seems to love reminding me that I am, in fact, still on a mountain.


Back in time? What? I thought you guys were trying to create another universe, not create another Dr. Who episode!


Battle summary: Grunts still suck.


I am no fool! I can defy Team Galactic because... I have eaten enough pizza!


Ooooh... shit, I can't punch skunks to death anymore! Curse their immunity to physical Psychic punches!

Come to think of it, how does Psycho Cut work?


Silly game, skunks don't attack with poison! They attack by spraying you with a very foul smell, making everyone staying away from you and causing your social life to crumbe!

And then banging your mom.


Memento: Makes the user faint to reduce the opponent's damage dealt by half.


Only, I can switch my guy out between Pokemon, so:
Memento: Just like using Self-Destruct on a Gastly.


I didn't say that. What I said is that You Suck!


I resolved to actually use berries when needed. Rather than let my Pokemon painfully and excruciatingly wither up and die from the poison, just to save $10.


Really though, its just because his punches pack a punch. Epilepsie can still die a painful death if it happens to him.


Two berries in one life! I must be getting generous!

And poorer. No wonder Cyrus doesn't do this kinda stuff.


Okay, y'know what? These things seem to be as common as dirt.
And since I need the ItemFinder to find it, I guess it probably is dirt!


OMIGOSH ITS A MOON MONSTER! I remember these guys from Kanto; surprisingly hard to catch (average of 4% appearance rate, only in Mt. Moon), yet entirely useless.


Aaand once again the new generation pees in the open mouth of childhood memories. GG, game.


Note its conspicuous lack of pants.


Alright, instead of a fire section, we have... another snow section. A new level of laziness.

Wait...
OH COME THE FUCK ON! EVEN A REALLY HIGH UP CLIFF EDGE LIKE THIS HAS FLIPPING STAIRS BUILT IN IT! DEAR GODS! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK FUCK?!


More space gravel. Yay. Maybe I can build a space pavement and ride my space Clefairy up it.

No, I don't know what that joke was meant to be.


Oh WOW, I am apparently still in Mt. Coronet! I never would've guessed!


At the summit? Ah fuck, I should've just taken a helicopter up!

If those things actually exist. I dunno, I didn't actually see any.


Yes, I get it already, you're fascists, and therefore bad guys. Capitalist propaganda much, game?


Actually... y'know what? I am! I am proud of myself to have gotten through so very many episodes of this LP! Thanks, random badguy that will now attempt to beat me up!


And fail horribly, of course. Just because you're nice doesn't mean I won't destroy your pets!


I thought she could do with a little healing. After all, the only reason my guys haven't all fainted by now is because I keep using her as a mobile PC.
It really is brilliant when you have a Pokemon that can give other Pokes her HP. Especially when said Pokemon has more health than three of the other guys on my team!


Spear... what now? You mean I'm actually not on Mt. Coronet?

You did that just to spite me, game, didn't you?


NEXT UPDATE: here there be The Dragons!

the image or video has been deleted

Yeah, I... accidentally forgot to actually upload the images before posting.

OH LOOK OVER THERE! A THREE HEADED MONKEY!

*fixes images*

Geezus, this page is LONG. What is it, like 5 updates on this page?

Wobbuffets have like, 400 or 500 hp on lvl 41

It's a shame that high HP is all they're good for...even Blissey is better (except for its shitty defense).

FEMALE WOBBUFFETS WEAR LIPSTICK.

I know, I have one

Didja give her a nickname?

Elizabeth

:awesome:

Sure.
If by that you mean about 250 hp. The most they can get by level 50 is 291.


Hah.

HAH!
HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Oh man! Wobbuffet is one of the most unfair, overbalanced Pokemon in the game! Saying its useless is like saying Arceus has crappy stats!