AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I still want a slim though


hnghngh oh well

The very worst thing about David Wong's article is that he basically said the 3DS would fail because of the existence of mobile phones. He says the iPhone, but as far as I can tell from his points he never actually heard of any other phone that can play games.


Although looking at those three FPS comparisons... what the hell is with FPS developers nowadays with the blood-splatter-in-eyes-when-hurt thing? I mean, it's wrong in three ways:
1: Realisticly. It's completely impossible to obscure your vision with blood. That's aside from that you get blood splatters from getting shot in the foot. And that your eyes must be at least 30 centimeters wide to be able to see that much blood drops!
2: Aesthetically. Try give me a good reason why it's better than the old screen-borders-reddening or screen-going-gray methods. I mean, other than OMG BLOOD THIS GAME IS SO MATURE!!!
3: Submersively. Bullet wounds are always either largely painless or incapacitatingly painful. There's no "Ugh I'm really hurt but I can just shrug it off" area here, and it really annoys me that a game focused entirely around guns doesn't bother to even attempt to do gunshot wounds properly!

^THIS

Probably because it's teenaged boys who play first-person shooters for the mindless violence. They shrug it off and go "IT LOOKS COOL, LIKE THE KIDS PLAYING THIS GAME REALLY CARE"

Of course there are people who care but they try to appeal to the proper demographic.

Anyway, David Wong seems to mostly spew opinionated crap that isn't even right or justified most of the time. I only read his articles so I can laugh at him now.

David Wong isn't normally bad, in that I think he's quite funny myself! He normally can come up with some pretty good points you don't think about! ....but at other points his opinions are either really wrong or really trying-too-hard-to-make-a-comment-for.


I think his worst article, in my opinion, would have to be his webcomic one. Where he said things like that upstanding member of society comics are inherently fetish-fuel, and that religious-based comics are awful... while giving examples that he only didn't like because he didn't get. Oh, and how After Eden, pretty much the best religious comic ever because it actually made jokes relating to Christian topics and not be just a medium to push their beliefs (well, for the most part anyway), was horrible... because it used artistic license to tell jokes.
Ugh!

Speaking of Cracked, Michael Swaim is utterly brilliant!

the biggest problem that i have with David Wong is that he seems to save all the video game topics and articles to himself

Oh god oh god portal. Excuse me while I watch that video a bijjilion times.

I feel bad for the turrets.
"Stoooooooooooooooooooop"
"Oh it burns!"
D:

"Oh there's a password. I just need to hack it. A-A-A-A-A *BUZZ* That's not it. A-A-A-A-B *BUZZ*"

I'm assuming that he's talking about the cell shading here.

Which is weird because all the said cell shading is doing to me is make me cry tears of joy.

Oh my god that was hilarious.

But he did have some pretty good critique for the sony and microsoft presentations. However, I do love how he compared two completely different art styles in different scenes for the Zelda one though, that was pretty funny.

The best part though, was when he tried to compare apple products to the 3ds! I love how he completely misses points like how expensive the iphone is, how expensive the apps are, horrible battery life, horrible controls, horrible games, etc etc etc

Well, the apps probably aren't as expensive as 3DS games will be, but at least 3DS games will be able to entertain for more than thirty minutes total.

Well, yeah, that was what I was getting at, price vs. entertainment value.

Okay I didn't watch E3 in any way, shape, or form. so tell me.

DID THEY TALK ABOUT PIKMIN?

BECAUSE THIS IS ALL I CARE ABOUT AT THE MOMENT OTHER THAN EVERYTHING ELSE.

No.

But there's a new Kirby game.

WELL FUCK.


I saw a thing for the new Kirby game. It looks adorable. but can I still swallow things in this adorable game?