AWKWARD ZOMBIE

i'm not sure how that's supposed to be a hat

what kind of fucking hat looks like that

What kind of person has giant floppy white hair with a black back?

It's an anime hat bro.

no, see

there is a level of ridiculousness that anime always

always

stays just behind

no matter how fucking stupid they get

or how dumb looking

there is a line

and if that is a fucking hat the line has been crossed, shit on, and trampled into the dust

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over Iris's hair.

Which is actually hair, and not a hat.

Goddamnit you guys

Now I can't NOT see it as a hat

As least you can still see Slakoth's behind sprite as Slakoth and not an old man's head.

OH WAIT.

how the fuck does iris' hair look like a hat

How does it look like functioning hair?

Like, more than anything, I think it's physically impossible to have hair like that just based on the surface area of the scalp and the highest amount of follicles and whatnot.

I just fail to see how it's impossible for Brendan's "hair" to be a hat, but it makes more sense for it to be hair.

because if it's a hat it has to be a beanie

what kind of fucking beanie is spiky

and has the spikes change in like every fucking piece of art

stop with the hat talk this isn't fuckin' tf2



now that i've got two slaves on hand

it's time to experience the best part of pokemon:

grinding




all right i managed to get marcato to level 7 sweet



haha oh shiiiiit





good job marcato you have slightly gotten more useful



penis joke



let's heal from all that horrible damage done



a'ight let's ollie out into the next town





really

really

REALLY



whatever i'm gonna go beat the shit out of some little kids



speaking of which



getting cheddar for beating up children is still something i will always love



taking me on with your bug pokemon

you're just gonna have like 4 wurmples aren't you



what a shock



here's a pro tip, kid

stop sucking



i fight some more scrubs and then notice some berries over here

maybe they're drugs

please let them be drugs



oh goddammit

well maybe they'll come in handy

i pick the other tree next to it too



oh yeah i still haven't caught a pokemon this path

wonder what i'll get

maybe something cool and rare

oh man that'd be awesome

if i got a ralts i'd be super hyped



ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff



whatever



here madican you get to be named after a pokemon that sucks




see there's one major flaw in your plan:

i'm better than you



wow that skirt is dangerously short

isn't she supposed to be like

12

i mean i am too and i'm hitting on dudes who have a wife and kids but like

i'm basically the coolest person but i mean cmon



should probs give madican some levelin'




omg

it's so fucking kawaii




her shroomish is basically top tier and madican is really awful so i let vealin take care of it

wow madican you really suck



i heal up from the devastating attacks



i forgot i didn't get a pokemon from 103 so i go back to grab one




nevermind fuck this



guess i'll go see dad and tell him thanks for spending the cheddar to move me into a house i'll never visit



eh maybe i'll go to the next route and see what i can catch first




well never fucking mind then



sup dad



yeah about that

mom's kind of stuck sitting at a table for the rest of her life and i'm not really cool staying in a one bedroom no bathroom house for the rest of my life so uh yeah i ollied outta there



wow is it because i'm a girl

sexist check your privilege dad



some little puke comes in after my dad and i finish talking




wow his name is as stupid as his hair

who the fuck names their kid wally without expecting them to get beaten up on the playground



what fuck i have to help him

godddammit fine




he gets dad's shitty zizagoon to use to catch a pokemon

why does everybody have a fucking zizagoon



let's get this over with kid. i'm eager to see you catch a wurmple or a poochyena as your first pokemon



are you fucking kidding me

are you

fucking

kidding me

can't i just push him out of the way and catch it myself please



i'm so fucking fannytroubled right now

fuck this

just fuck everything



i abandon the kid on the side of the road and then some asshat comes up to me and basically tells me i'm not what he's looking for in a pokemon trainer

ey fuck you pal i'm gonna be the champ



whatever let's just catch another pokemon



haha oh fuck yes



holla holla get dolla



congrats shinchar you get to be named after a pokemon that isn't complete garbage



i ignore some other trainers for the time being so i can go catch a pokemon in the woods



but then there's this asshole



l8r h8r



all right time to get something super awesome




finally some fucking luck for once



i sent out madican first but madican sucks so i changed to marcato

and then he got poisoned

fucking

great



vealin's used as a placeholder so i can hopefully catch it even though its health isn't that low

let's cross our fingers



well it did poison one of my pokemon but it's still cute as hell



there u go keegster



haha oh shit this isn't good



ugh fuck i'm not gonna make it

maybe i've got something that can help



oh fuck yes

those berries weren't drugs but they'll keep marcato from dying



yessss

i managed to heal up without any casualties

all right folks tune in next time for nuzlocke emerald

will madican get more useful???? (probably not)

Hooray, I'm a grass type that's going to be a cute mushroom animal thing.

I will kick that Mudkip's grass for you.

I like Poochenah. SilverWolf will grow up to eat Wally's girlfriend's face off

I like the idea of a Marill named after a badass fire-breathing dragon, even if I don't like Marill much. (Chances of me ending up the HM Slave = high.)

Also, maybe I'm the only person on this planet that likes Zigzagoon. Maybe.

I like this LP so far. Keep it up!

I mainly like old Zig-Zag because of one thing: Pickup.

Oh man I'm evolving please let me be a Cascoon......



DANGIT