AWKWARD ZOMBIE

It sounds like you either mashed A through all of Irene's dialogue or you're over romanticising the Oracles.

Maple is cute (and has a gr8 theme) but there's not a lot too her other than warming up to link and treating their meetings as a game instead of a mugging

Here's a text dump of everything she can say to the player as reference (This is from Ages, the only difference is in Seasons she's looking for eggs but the picture book is more interesting)

Ow! Ow! Ow!!! Watch where you're goin'! You just hit Maple, the Great
Witch Syrup's apprentice! Thanks to you, all the stuff fell out of my
bag! The Great Witch will be mad! And I have to get that picture book.
Who could have that book? Well, it's all made me mad! So I'm gonna take
your stuff, too!
You again? Thanks to you, everything in my bag flew out! You must be
brave to hit Maple like this! I'll just take your stuff, too! Here
goes!
O-U-C-H-!!! You--AGAIN? Do you have it in for me or what? Thanks to
you, all the stuff flew out of my bag! Well, I'll just take your stuff,
too!
AH! All my stuff flew out of my bag! I'll just take what you dropped,
too! This'll show you what happens when you make Maple mad!
Ouch... Back again? The stuff flew out of my bag! I'll just have to
take what you dropped, too!
We meet again! You know the drill! Fastest one wins. Ready..? Go!
Ah ha ha ha! Now you're sorry! I have more stuff than before! See ya!
You little-- I'll remember this!
Hmm! Not bad! But that's all you get today.
Ouch... Watch where you're goin'! You just hit Maple, the Great Witch
Syrup's apprentice! Oh my!
This makes up for your bumping into me! See ya!
Ah! . . . . . . . . Bye!
Hey! That book!
That's the Touching Book I need to take to Syrup! Why do you have it?
Let me read it!
What..? Oh, my... ......... Ooo! ...........
Uh-wahhh! Ahhh...sniff How touching!
Thanks... sniff It was good... Take this. It's the first one I made.
Syrup never gave me any compliments on it. I'll keep this book. Sniff!
Ouch... Watch where you're walkin'! I came through this weird tunnel
and was flyin' happily along when you run into me! I'm Maple, the Great
Witch Syrup's apprentice! Why does this happen to me? The Great Witch
is so mean. She even took away my picture book! Doesn't anyone have
that book? Now you come along and make me drop all my stuff! Anyway,
it's all got me mad! I'm gonna take your stuff, too!
Ouch... Watch where you're walkin'! I came through this weird tunnel
and was flyin' happily along... What are you doin' here anyway? Well,
I'm takin' your stuff, too!

There's no text dump for LBW yet so it's annoying that I can't really cite any Irene quotes but her development is similar to Maple's but more involved and expanded.

When she first meets Link she helps him out selfishly because a fortune teller told her she'd be in danger if she doesn't. (Woah foreshadowing) She chats to you whenever you use the broom until the broom eventually arrives on its own. (Uh oh where is Irene??) She's the only sage the player will interact with multiple times before she's kidnapped and likely the only one anyone will give a shit about because her interactions are about building a friendship and not having one thrust onto you (like Gulley for example, fuck off Gulley)

If you talk to the witch she'll tell you Irene is delighted to have made a friend, something she won't say to your face because she's shy and it shows that she's lonely.

It's probs also worth mentioning that Syrup has nothing to say about Maple in Ages and just tells you she's out getting eggs in Seasons.

I read all of Irene's dialogue, I just never found her character remotely interesting. I'll admit, I never heard the whole thing about her being pop flyin' to have made a friend, and I guess that is sort of a nice touch. And no, I was not trying to say anything good about the Oracle games, I was just trying to say "This badly written character is even worse than this other badly written character." Let's face it, the characters in the Oracle games (except for maybe Ralph) are just about as bland and personality-free as they come. In fact, Oracle of Seasons has barely anything going for it writing-wise unless you play the Linked Game. Its story is nonexistent, there are no memorable characters, and the villain, while he has a really cool design and a wonderfully horrible goal in mind, is even more bland than Vaati. However, I'll give it a few points for giving an okay idea of just how fucked the world would be if the seasons were thrown out of whack and also for giving us the Subrosians. Ages doesn't have any memorable characters either (except for maybe Ralph), but it at least has a story and I think it did a pretty good job of showing just how much misery Veran is spreading and it also did a nice job of providing contrast between the mostly light and upbeat present and the bleak and depressing past.

why do you play zelda games

To explore new worlds, meet new people, experience new stories, delve into new dungeons and solve their puzzles, take in the atmosphere, meet new monsters and kick their asses, and learn more about this wonderful mythos. I also feel some sort of bizarre obligation to play these games; I won't go into any detail on that subject.

Plus, the music is amazing.

Impa confirmed

Great, I can't wait to bomb some dodongos.

More shit

Link is looking rather womanly.

Yeah, I don't know how they did it, but they managed to make Link look more feminine than ever. He's gone from kinda feminine to Fire Emblem levels of femininity. Also, don't you just love how the villain's motivation is basically a love triangle? That's just top-notch writing right there. And is it just me, or has someone been raiding Veran's wardrobe?

Hooooly fuck since when did my Zelda get turned into an anime.

My bishounen sense is tingling...!

Oh no, Link has taken the next step to becoming the ultimate girly man

part of me isn't really liking the more feminine features on him, but another part of me likes it. I've always favored prettyboys, and Link was already a prettyboy before this.

"I unleashed the ancient evils and used the world-anchoring artifact of power that reflects the one using it on the entire world because I'm jealous."

Are you fucking serious. Zelda stories have always been kind of boring but this one seems to be taking a swan dive into awful.

I like it, it's proper myth material.

just like the wikipedia page on jealousy in religion says; "However, the message in these stories seems clear—provoking divine jealousy can result in terrible suffering."

also get a load of impa's fucking huge scabbard lmao I can't wait to see the animations for that

This doesn't sound like divine jealousy. This just sounds like some whiny, half-naked witch is trying to cause the apocalypse just because she can't get her man. Her bland, emotionless blank slate of a man...who looks like a woman. Still, probably a better villain than Yuga. At least she has a backstory.

Try telling that to Hera, and see if you leave for home the same shape.

Try telling the latter part to Zeus without taking your ashes home in an urn.