AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Yeah, but Ghouls come from an airborne version of the Forced Evolutionary Virus. The liquid mutagen creates Super Mutants, the airborne version is harmless, unless mixed with a specific amount of radiation, at which point that person becomes a Ghoul

We'd all be either scribes or chem addicts.

One of those skeletons you find in the Porta-Shelters in Fallout 3

I'd probably be found inside a refrigerator just outside Goodsprings.

o/



So if you missed the news in the pop flyin' thread, I have a job now. One that will hopefully take a significant chunk of my free time. I can't promise that this LP won't be affected, but I can promise that it will be finished properly. I know that claim has been made so often in the past that some of you are going to be reading this as an effective death sentence (like anyone cares that much about it anyway), and I can't say anything to convince you otherwise, so I'll let my actions show the truth of it. I'm not going to rush, and I'm not going to let the quality (hahahahahahahaha) slip, so instead what will most likely be affected is the schedule. Right now it's at one update every two or three days, and I estimate it might become once a week.

Well, jobs take precedence over Internet.

Eh, I can pay you in bottle caps.

\o

Yeah, I guess making Fallout LPs isn't technically your job, unless you can get AZers to start paying you for it.

That would be fucking awesome, but then you all might start demanding actual QUALITY. I just couldn't do it.

And I'm working on getting a good amount of backlog going so I'll be able to post even if I don't feel like playing. I'll have the next update loaded tomorrow.

Chapter 17: I Wouldn't Put My Money On The Other Guy



Keep cool, I don't have anything illegal on me.



I got a passport right here. It is 100% legit as fuck.



Awesome sauce.



Here goes nothing.



The Strip. It is certainly no coincidence that the first building I see is a brothel.



Whoa, shit, hey Victor. I should have expected you.

Hey, point me to Benny. I'll take care of that cockhole right now.



What. Why.



House wants to see me. THE House?

What the fuck, I'll go talk to him.



Yeah sure, I'll be right up.



Just got a little business to take care of first.



Hey McCaffery, the Garrets want the cheddar you stole from them.



Do you see me laughing? Just give me the cheddar and you can go on your merry way.



That's an interesting boast.



So you're an arthritic grandpa. How terrifying.

I'm taking your hat and the cheddar. Whether you give them up willingly is entirely up to you.



Someone write those last words down, they're gonna look great on a tombstone.



My armor's a bit too thick for your shotgun pellets, dickweed.



And that was the end.



So this is House's... house.



Let's go see the old man.



I'm... not going to question the nominally female robot sharing House's living space.



Is that him?





What the FUCK are you?



Thanks, I try.





Are you talking about Vegas... or yourself? I honestly can't tell, you seem like the type whose ego is so huge it needs an entire casino all to itself.





Like I said, massive ego. And I'm not really all that special. I'm just a courier.



Is this going to be the whole conversation with you? Gambling puns?



Yeah, I guess that Platinum Chip was supposed to come here.



Sure. You want Benny too, or is he being left to me?





Hot damn, now we're talking.



Yeah, before I leave, who are you exactly? No bullshit.









That's... not as comforting as it should be. So you're saying you're over 200 years old?

You're not a machine yourself, but you must be hooked up to some incredibly powerful preservation technology.





No thanks, I'd rather not be around to celebrate my bicentennial. This technology couldn't have been cheap.



I'm betting "otherwise" included just a little bit of your sanity.

Before I retrieve the damn thing, what exactly is that Platinum Chip?





Fine. I'll be back with the Chip in hand.





Old bastard gives me the creeps.



What, Jesus, you can't just ambush a girl, the fuck do you want?



The cake mix mogul?



"Honorable." Let's not get ahead of ourselves.



Wealthy? Last I heard the Republic was hemorrhaging cheddar and inflation was skyrocketing.



A pardon that I don't need, since I've committed no crimes against the NCR.



Well, that's all well and good. Maybe I can send them a bag full of my shit in response.



I've got work to do.



Ugh, seriously? How the fuck am I supposed to kill your boss with my bare hands-

Actually, that sounds fun, never mind.



Now then, Benny, Benny, Benny, where is Benny.



Off in the corner I see, surrounded by a goon squad. I might have to approach this situation tactically.



I've got some words I need to share concerning your boss.



I thought you might like to hear about how Benny ambushed me, stole a package belonging to House, and shot me twice in the face.



Look, I've got proof. These cigarette butts were strewn around my amateur grave.



He also dropped his lighter after he double-crossed the Khans he was using for muscle.





Good enough.



HEY BENNY! THE BITCH IS BACK!



Yeah, guess who, motherfucker.



What.



Looks like you need to work on your aim, Benny boy.





Suddenly he's remorseful. What a load of shit.







Yeah, I've got a better idea. You go first, and you lose the goons.



Good boy.



I better fucking love what I hear, too.



Time for some answers.



No, dickhead, it doesn't work like that. I'm asking YOU the questions.



You've got exactly three seconds before my boot occupies the same space as your asshole, so in the meantime I had better hear a good fucking reason why I haven't killed you already.





WHY, asshole. I want to know WHY. Why did you steal the Platinum Chip, why did you have to shoot me to get it, what the fuck does this thing even do?



ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING RIDDLES. Just... fucking hand over the Chip before I replace your head with a barstool.





I swear to god Benny, you are testing the fuck out of my patience right now.





Are you... you're offering me a job? After trying to kill me?

How many of your employees have you shot in the face, exactly?

You know what? What the fuck. I am not a vindictive person. Caps buy more than grudges. Pay me well enough, maybe one day I'll forget everything.





But Benny, I promise you, you try to fuck me over and you will understand the limits of the human body's tolerance for pain.





Caps a plenty in the future, I see. Maybe I'll be able to retire when this is all over.



Oh what the fuck.



ARE YOU SHITTING ME, BENNY.



I was perfectly willing to let shit go, and you decide to fuck me over.



Last straw, motherfucker.



Yeah, it's a real mess up here. Four bodies.



Ahahahaha, that was totally worth ruining any surprise attack I could have had on him.



Oh, he did NOT run away.



This is his casino, where the fuck could he have gone?



WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE IN THIS CITY STANDING OUTSIDE OF DOORS WAITING TO AMBUSH ME.



Wait, seriously? Caesar wants parley?



Okay, that's great, why the fuck would I want to see Caesar?



Benny... ran to Caesar. Holy shit, I really must have scared the piss out of him.



Sure, whatever. I should deposit Boone before I go. Don't need him making a scene.



First, I guess I need to tell House what happened.



Yeah, that didn't go quite as planned.



Eat me, old man, how was I supposed to know Benny was too stupid to realize he still had a chance at living?



I don't appreciate the snark, you old fuck. As it happens, I know where he ran.



And how the fuck would YOU know that?



So Caesar's got his finger on the button too. This is fucking wonderful.



NO SHIT.





Prick.



Back to Cottonwood Cove. That is going to be one hell of a trek.



Boone, I'm gonna have to leave you behind.



You really are not going to like where I have to go.

Shit's getting interesting here!

I've never not killed Benny.

I've never played this, but I'm pretty sure that if I ever did, Benny would really regret not having killed me right the first time.