AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I had no knowladge of any of this.

Play that "Jingle Jangle" song!

Man, I like having my work with this LP done early. I've got two updates' worth of screencaps taken care of, and I've got the next few planned out.

New page new update, come on.

It's been three hours, dude.

The whole point of having a backlog is so I don't blow my load and have nothing left in case of emergency.

ring a ding ding

Chapter 16: Come On And Do The Jailhouse Rock With Me



Hope I don't need an appointment to see the King.



Requires key? What the fuck now.



Yeah, I guess, whatever just open the damn door.



Are you shitting me. Look, here's 50 caps, go away.



Wonderful.



Get out of my sight.



I don't know what I was expecting.



But it wasn't this.



For one thing, you can refund the caps that asshole charged me to walk in here.



Enough to buy a gun.



Thank you kindly.



I need to get into Vegas. Maybe I can do some work for you to pay off the favor?





Sure thing.



Yeah, there was a King and some dude decked out in Road Warrior cosplay.





I'm guessing that's the Mad Max wannabe.



I'm calling it now, drugs are involved.



Might be hard to bluff that, seeing as I'm wearing full combat gear and carrying a super sledge.

And also a 1st Recon sniper is following me.



Follow someone around while he does all the shooting? This couldn't be easier.



King, you are the coolest cat.



There's Max.



Oh, please help me. I am just a scared helpless woman and my ovaries are making it impossible for me to think or act clearly.



Thank you so much mister, I don't know how I could make this trip without a strong man holding my hand.



What's a silly little lady like me going to do with free will anyway?



Yes sir mister man sir.



Catch me if I fall into hysterics, won't you?



I see you'll just casually ignore that I approached from this direction when I came to hire you.



Hey man, the Kings are cool.



Been there, done that.



Oh, well, don't let my womanly ways get in the way. Lead on.



Ha, they don't look that tough. What a little bitch.



Oh no, looks like we'll see some combat after all. Do your work, bodyguard.



Three well-placed shots and they all go down. Not bad, Mad Max.



Wait, there's four dudes here.

Oh, you sneaky bastard you.



Wow, I can't believe how great you were. Four kills with only three shots. That's 133% accuracy!



Wow, mister, I could never pull that off with my dainty feminine hands.



Yeah, that's what I thought. Dumbass could have at least fired a fourth shot to make it less obvious.



Let's finish this up.



Thank you so much mister, why if I didn't have my proprieties and courtesies to hold in check, I'd really thank you something fierce.

Now excuse me as I run all the way back through Freeside without your help.



Wait until you get a load of this guy.



The guy sets up ambushes that he pretends to defeat so his clients always come back for return business.



More work now?





They're awfully proud of this shithole, huh?



Of course. People just can't live and let die of starvation and exposure.





Will do.



To the Mormon Fort I go.



At the Mormon Fort I am.



You the guys that got your asses beat?



Ease up, the King sent me.



Just tell me what happened.





Anything else? Anything helpful?



Booze and drugs.



Is that like an even more shitty part of Freeside?





Remember kids, escalation always works out great.



Sounds like he was the one mouthing off the most, so I'm not really surprised.



So I could have been talking to him instead this whole time? Come on, people.



Sure as shit.



Names or identifying marks would help.



I guess I'll just start beating motherfuckers in Freeside until someone tells me-



Fucking perfect, lay it on me.



I don't know anyone named Lou, so it can't be that common.



...Lou Tenant. His name was Lou Tenant.



Thank you Roy.



You don't say.



Bad news, man.



Sounds like it was a few NCR jackasses. One of them was identified as a Lieutenant.





HA, seriously dude? That is number two on their list of shit to do here.



Ugh, not the extra-shitty side of town.



That sounds much better and cleaner.



But hugs are what I am the best at.



I hear you're the person to talk to about free hugs?



You're short on medical supplies?



What do you need?



I'll bring some by when I get a chance. Right now I need to hear what you know about the NCR presence in Freeside.



Some NCR goons beat the shit out of a couple locals for no reason.







Thanks for the help.

And I'll be back with some medical supplies when I've got some time to devote my attention to the problem.



I know you guys really need the help.



Squatterville. Yeah, it's somehow even worse than the rest of Freeside.



I think I see NCR dorks.



The password is my foot up your booty if you don't let me deliver an urgent message to Major Elizabeth Kieran.



You gullible assclowns.



What the hell? It's a soup kitchen?



Thanks, I guess. You're with the NCR?



Why are you only handing out food to NCR squatters?



Julie Farkas said to mention her name if there was a problem.





Really? And he said no?



Fuck me.





I bet I know who's responsible for this little miscommunication.



I need to go have a chat with a certain asshole.



Hello, certain asshole.



Sounds like someone's getting a bit too big for their britches.



I think I'd be doing everyone a favor if I told the King that you're a violently seditious little asshole.



That Pacer guy, fucking hell.



Yeah, they're giving out food in the squatter side of town.



They're not serving locals.



Not sure I agree with your conclusion-reaching skills 100% there, but that's not the point.

The NCR sent an envoy to discuss sharing their supplies with you.



They said the envoy got the shit beat out of him and almost scrapped the relief mission.











Right away. I hope I'm not too late.



I am definitely some kind of late.



Ahahahahahaha dude are you fucking SHITTING me. I should kill you right now on principle.



You'd be killing an NCR legend. I wouldn't recommend it.



Well, immediately, I'd like you to stop shooting at the Kings. The King wants to help with your relief effort.



He didn't even know about any envoy, alright? Your guy never saw the King.



I'd put cheddar on that Pacer asshole being responsible.



Well, don't stop firing just yet. I'll drag that dumbass out here so you can get a clear shot on him.





COULD YOU BE ANY MORE BRAIN DEAD.



So badly do I want to kill you right now.



You're lucky the King wouldn't appreciate it.



That would be the wise course.





Yeah, let me think for a few seconds.



If I'm heading to the Strip, I need to get ready for a fight.



And a little extra boost wouldn't hurt.



Now then, I've thought about that favor.



Can you get me onto the Strip?



Yeah, I know the place.



Awesome.



I won't have to look at these busted-booty buildings for much longer.



Hey Ralph, I need a pass onto the Strip.



Fantastic.



I think it's worth noting that I didn't hurt a single person all day.

No even a single giblet,how disappointing.

Roxy water you doin

good luck on the strip

He sprang for the neon LED attachments.

Rex got that bling bling going on.

Shit's getting real guys.

Benny is going to wish he hadn't been so frugal with his ammo.

He thinks bullets are currency. So he paid you.

Stiffed you on the tip though.

Yaaaayyyy, it's Rexy!

So how you gonna sneak in that rebar club?

It's a super sledge now, and don't worry. I've got a plan.

And by that I mean I, the player, have a plan. In character, I still don't have any idea that the casinos don't allow weapons.



Unrelated Fun Fact: My level progression is correlated with the update progression. Chapter 16 = Level 16.

It won't stay like this.

Who needs a Super Sledge when you have fists?