AWKWARD ZOMBIE

technically those graves are more like shrines and the dead pokemon were probably cremated, since that is a custom is japan.

How do you cremate fire-type pokemon?

Same way you cremate anything else, I'd guess. Fire still does damage to fire pokemon, after all. Just not as much.

The rock hides a secret





(Also, fog effects are actually really nice in the actual game)

Yeah. Figured I really need to stock back up on good ol' Pokeballs!


Et voilà! I have enough balls to now be able to spew out French clichés!


NotSwellow is, at this point, completely useless for battling.

Its also where I now regret making all those wang puns!


So now lets go back to some good old fashioned Ghost Busting. It'd be just like in a Movie.


Wait, was that too subtle an advertisement? I never


Silly Zubat, this isn't a cave! SO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!

Its like the developers just thought "Hey, y'know what, maybe these status-inducing Gastlys don't piss off the player enough. Lets toss in a few Goddam Bats to really kick things off!"


Get out of here, poorly-done-special-effects! Come back when you get a decent budget!




Wh.............





No, no, that simply can't be what it looks like! It CAN'T be!




Right... for those of you who don't know about Chansey, its a Pokemon with really high HP and Special Defense, decent Special Attack, and the WORST regular attack and defense in the game! And its sole attack is DoubleSlap!



Well it looks like I named it the right thing anyway!


Oh no! He must be planning to steal my cuppycakes! What a naughty, naughty boy!



Well here's a milestone; the first appearance of a Pikachu in the game so far!

I'm surprised its gone all the way until this far before it appeared. Its in stark contrast to, say, the 4th gen Pokemon Ranger game, where you actually START the game fighting a Pikachu! I mean, you don't even get an introduction first!



Yes. YES! Geezus you can't take two steps without bumping into a Gastly! Of course they're still here!


Is that bird... wearing a hat?

No, really, that thing has a hat on its head!


I WANT IT!!!



GEEEZUS! A Pokemon brought two lovers together and is a symbol of their relationship... and it DIED?!
What kind of children's game is this?! Next thing you know, you'll have to battle Bambi's mother or something!

On another tune, notice how they say "buried". Yes, Pokemon are buried in the floor. Oh, but if that's not creepy enough, consider that its also a roof! I don't know about you, but I don't know how you could just stand in this tower knowing that there are dozens of corpses stuck in foundations right above your head!



Worst. Excuse for a HM to be required. Ever.


What? You mean I had to go out, beat a gym, get Defog, battle my way through the tower... to hear you say that this is a graveyard?!


Oh. No, she also gives out an item. Goodah.


.....yeah. That's the item.
Well this has been a grand ol' waste of time!


Oh yeah, forgot to mention that: I got a thunderstone in the ruins, by sheer accident. Quite a nice coincidence, even if I don't really have any sort of use for it.



Wait, is this a "its something you should do, and you'll learn to do it at the end of the episode, but forget it entirely two weeks later so that we can do the story over again" thing, or is this a "I SHALL FORCE YOU TO BATTLE ANYWAY" thing?

Ah, who am I kidding. Its a random person, it's definitely the latter!


Wait...

Wait...

So there's a guy here. In a graveyard. With an attractive woman next to him. Holding a trident.



There ya go folks, The Pokemon Company regard farmers as, bodaciously, the devil!


Oh yeah, and they have flaming horses too. Just in case you missed the other signs.





Oh yeah, I caught a brand new Gastly. Which I completely forgot to screenshot.


Well that's me out of that hellhole. Man, that place was creepy!

But at least it didn't have creepy music like that place in Kanto had! Brrrr!



Wha... I... um...

So its gone from "We must battle because I have seen you", to "Aah, you're a ghost, I must battle to protect myself", to "If we battle, then I can become a Pikachu"! These excuses are changing from what you'd find in a Mario game to what you'd find in a Disney movie!


Oh ho ho? Getit? Because he wants to be a Pokemon?


Yeah, upstanding members of society come up with the worst jokes. Well, after the makers of the movie "North".

Don't watch it. Watch Ghost Busters instead.


This is amusing. Apparently there's REALLY long grass here... but only here. It makes a nice neat line straight across for no reason whatsoever. And it doesn't even go NEAR trees, for some reason!




A Rapidash?! He's got a fucking Rapidash?!! That thing isn't supposed to evolve until level 40, for crying out loud!


Dude, just... stop cheating already! Geesh! Its not fair that your combusting horse should be so powerful!



Pay no attention to the lawnmower.


Yeah... he might be ridiculously powerful at this stage.


Oh yay! Now, Roosevelt can put people to sleep while... she... does maybe 1hp of damage...



Which makes it such a pity that THERE ARE NO ROADS IN THIS COUNTRY!!

Well, except for the Cycling Road. BUT YOU CAN'T RUN THERE!


In long grass? You get wild Pokemon. In really long grass... you get floating heads?



Omigosh, a clefairy! Isn't it just so very very cuuuute?!




FUR IS MURDER!

Well, yeah, the fur is still attached to the Pokemon, but things like that never stopped fundamentalists before!


Seriously, what is it with the sudden outburst of Pokemon that were never seen before in this game? I can GUARANTEE the next one is new too!


...
Oh, fine, I'll excuse that one. Just because it looks so daisies cute!


STOP BEING SO daisies CUTE! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE A GUY!


That... honestly looks like the lovechild of a Charmander and a Geodude.

Go back to the cute one!





Right. So first, there was boulders blocking paths. Then there were low trees. Then they switched to people that won't move, and now they have DUCKS?! What's next, "you can't cross this path, there's a feather in the way"?


So anyway, I moved on into this building here. Its some sort of restaurant, except all they serve is... milk. Yeah. For the same price as 2.5 Pokeballs.

RIP! OFF!

But hey, at least the waitress is cute, and-

Wait, WHAT?! You're a waitress, so when someone talks to you, you... try and beat them up?!

Now THAT'S bad service! I'm outta here!


Good thing I still have Teleport!

Well, no, actually that's a very bad thing. It's effing useless except for when I'm too lazy to cycle!


Hah! I told you the monkey would bang the horse if you gave them enough time!


Switched out Eevee and Staravia, moved in my new Gastly and... the mysterious egg.

I wonder what awesome moves it has?


Aaaand... wait, isn't this where I started the episode from in the first place?

Hoorah! I have successfully managed to waste a full episode doing nothing of importance! Now to just keep doing this for several episodes in a row and this LetsPlay will be just like Lost!

It's amazing. No matter how boring one of your updates are, it makes me want to play pokemon.

... Of course, it helps that I got a new pokemon game recently, but even before then, it made me want to.

Let's Plays are better advertising than actual advertisements.

You haven't said "wootinary" in a while.

That's because I am the most awesome LetsPlay writer ever! Entirely! Nothing to do with the fact that it's a world-renowned game.

You're so modest, Plasma.

Also: Put that Thunderstone to good use and evolve your Eevee into a Jolteon. Kick booty with it.

He already has a lightning pokemon that he plans to use. He should probably use a different stone on that Eevee.

Oh yeah...I forgot about Rotom.

Even though Jolteon is better.

Make it an Umbreon, then.

This is, what, the third time I've gone up this narrow path now? Maybe this time I'll actually get someplace.


Those... those blue lines are supposed to represent rain. I'm not sure how, but trust me on that one.


It's.. a disc.
With no limbs.
And not even any movable body parts.

All it does is float.

That's even worse than Unown. I'm appalled!


Wait, what? It's a floating disc, how on earth is it able to put a machine to sleep?

This game makes no sense, I tell ya!


......well I am honestly ashamed of myself. Hm.

I did kill it in the end though. If featureless discs can die, of course.



Umm... what is that? I mean, if I were to make a guess... it looks like a puppy that got its head stuck in its foodbowl or something.

How cute!

LAWNMOWER TO THE BOWLFACE!



Heh. Silly NPC, he thinks he's a human!


If Christianity has brought us anything, its that awesome awesome line, the best excuse to plot revenge ever!

Oh yeah, and some guy who's supposed to have resolved us of all sins or something. I dunno, that was all fine print.


Umm, what?

When I think of hand-to-hand fighting, I can't exactly say that 'sharp' is the first word that comes to mind. They normally belong to knives, swords, and other such things that would actually help you defend yourself!


Geezus, looks like someone already beat me to the punch. bodaciously! Dude, stop trying to hold that thing together with a ribbon and go to the Pokemon Center already!





EVERY WOMAN'S WET DREAM, EVER!

And I want to catch it!




OH GODS THOSE TWO LINES ARE COMPLETELY SEPARATE FROM EACH OTHER! I DO NOT MEAN IT THAT WAY!


Oh come ON, it should be dead! UNFAIR!


You know, I keep on forgetting that Chansey knows sing. I mean, I really should remember, considering it makes capturing Pokemon a LOT easier!


Because I haven't said it in a while, WOOTINARY!



Wait... so a Pokemon that's about half the size of a human... weighs about the same as a fat man?

GO ON A DIET, DAMNIT!


As suggested by DuhrDotCom, after we realised just how hard it is to have a name related to EVERY WOMAN'S WET DREAM EVER!




Oh blast it, Monferno was the one that could cut down trees! Not even the lawnmower can do that!

For some reason.


Pokemon go bouncing off the walls after taking this!

[/badpun]


Its... a football with ears. That's essentially what it really is! Talk about suckage!

I presume I don't have to express my desire to capture this creature, right?


FUCK! Everything I touch, dies!


Y'know, I never quite figured out what Kadabra was meant to be. My guess is that it's a cross between a squirrel, a fox, and an old man who really really likes pudding.



Also,


Bluetinary!

Pay no attention to the lack of an introduction to that battle. You're probably just high.


Its tail is filled with... oil?

Eugh! Imagine if you had a body part that had no meat, no blood, just... oil!


Well, except people who drink Busch Light don't have to guess. Their liver is full of it!
At least, I presume its oil because that's what it tastes like.


You could see this nickname coming a mile away! I don't think its even legal to name it anything else.


Wait... the two trainers are looking STRAIGHT at each other, but won't challenge each other. But you know well that as soon as I take one step between them, they're gonna both try beat me up!

Now I KNOW this game is out to spite me!


And, of course, I only have one usable Pokemon.

I swear the game reprogrammed itself to put two opponents there just to take advantage of my situation!



Solution?

Challenge them individually! Oh ho ho, I'm so sneaky!


And sure, I might get a few questions about why I couldn't just teleport back to the Pokemon center and heal again. Well, I couldn't, because... fuck you!


I'veRunOutOfWaysToSayThisINARY!


Look. Having a Pokemon that looks like a naked little child is one thing. But having such a Pokemon and refusing to evolve it into an older form is when you need to seek professional help!


One step closer to... being... more powerful than it currently is? I'm not entirely sure what I'm aiming for with these level ups, its not like she can actually do damage of any sort.



NEXT TRAINER!


OH FOR THE LOVE OF- how many bats ARE there in this goddam game?!

Sinnoh must be Bat Country or something!


Well FINALLY, a Pokemon I recognise! Really now, before it was just A New One after A New One after A New One!


So you lost the Pokemon fight because... you were thinking about Pokemon.

What the hell, lady? That's like saying you failed an exam because you studied for it too much!



Well FINALLY! One more fight and I probably would've had to go back to the old Pokemon Center, and cycle all the way back here!
Even though I'm immune to the effects of fatigue, for some reason.


OH WOW, GUYS! ROADS! Honest-to-god roads! Oh, it is truly a glorious sight!


I swear, if they started charging for Pokemon heals, they would be very rich indeed!


Oh geezus-
Guys, stop bloody publicly announcing where your secret buildings are! That way, they won't be taken over by some wandering kid like me!


Umm,
Apparently, the game isn't entirely sure whether it's meant to be a Pokemon game or Super Mario RPG.


If I have any choice in the matter? No, I wouldn't. But I think we all know that there's either going to be some rock or some fog or something along those lines that just won't budge unless I do it.


A... half-naked fat man is now singing a song of nonsense...

Why?

BECAUSE ITS FUCKING POKEMON, THAT'S WHY!!


Right. Well, it makes no sense whatsoever... so I'd say its a Metallica song! Or Green Day.

Ah hell, it could be pretty much any mainstream band!



BIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT!


Aw damnit. From the last gym, I thought that gym leaders would've got enough sense to stop putting up their main element for show at the front of the gym!


But hey, I think we all know what episode is coming next time...


That's right,

THE SHOPPING EPISODE! YAAAY!






I again assure you that I am not a girl.

Even if 3/4 of my party are positively girly.



Not a girl.

Plasma, I'm more of a man than you are.

Plas, I'm going to think of you as a girly-man just because you don't want me to and you keep saying you aren't.

If you didn't care that much, neither would I.