AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Galaxy obviously has never enjoyed a fallout game.

You know wearing Ranger armor resets my reputations and disguises me as an NCR member, right?

That's not something I want.

And it's not the best in the game. I will be doing the DLC, remember.

i actually did enjoy the game immensely

especially in my fucking NCR ranger trenchcoat because it's the most badass thing (until the end of lonesome road and the courier duster you get from ulysses)



why not, all it would do is get the legion more rustled at you

which i mean is this not the point, to waltz into caeser's tent in ncr gear just to piss him off that much more

Maybe later.

Maybe A LOT later.

I'm disappointed if you haven't figured out why I haven't just waltzed into Vegas yet.

because you want to get your reputation with legion as low as possible before they invite you back, right

i mean that's what i figured due to the one time you said that

Shut up fags it's a new page, update again Exeres.

They are already sending hit squads after me. Wearing NCR armor will only do two things at this point: it will reset my reputations, which I don't want, and it will make the Brotherhood of Steel hostile to me, which I don't want.

Combat Armor Mk. II has the same DT as Ranger armor, but weighs less and lasts longer. The only true perk the Ranger armor has is its appearance, which isn't unique with the DLC. There's no reason not to let Boone walk around in armor that he looks fucking awesome in, and will protect him a whole hell of a lot better than his fucking t-shirt.

And above all, I'm storytelling, not metagaming.

man if i was telling you to metagame, you think i wouldn't tell you to just keep wearing the armor you got?

Hahahaha I let the monorail blow up because I figured "arresting" the guy read: Boone instakilling the guy was more important. Whoops.

Boone is chillest character

I wonder who exeres next companion will be

Hoss Delgado

Chapter 14: Mein Heisser Schrei, Feuer Frei



Sigh. I really wish I could fly one of these things. Planes are so cool.



Back to work. Let's see if the nerds need anything.



I shouldn't say that, I'm not exactly stupid.



I'm going to call you Dr. Chin, holy shit.

And no, I don't know anything about Vault 22.



I'm... not associated with any NCR science guys? Not officially anyway.



I sense a sales pitch coming on.



I was right.



Trees and shit.



Just get to the point.



Seeds, water, and food? Not a mystery, really.



Well, you didn't say that.



Sounds like my kind of job.



So what do I do, clip some leaves or something? Or do you need a whole plant?



Yeah, that makes more sense. Better lose that condescending tone.



Alright, I'll ma-



Whoa, hey, yeah he wants me to go to Vault 22.



What.



Suddenly I am not so excited about this job.





I think I need to talk to your colleague.



I was gonna try to leave him some of his teeth.



I also work for whiskey.



Well, I guess I'm going in there anyway, it won't be much of a detour to look for her.



You're just making shit up now.



I've got quite a walk ahead of me.



Best get going.



Sunset Sarsaparilla headquarters is on the way. I've got about 30 of these weird star caps, so I guess I'll head back here when I get the rest.



Fiends.



I hate Fiends.



I don't know how a bunch of junkies get their hands on so much laser weaponry.



What the hell?



Whatever, let's keep going.



Getting darker.



Much darker.



I think we're here.



Yeah, we're definitely here. Killer plants are going to be inconvenient.



Not to mention giant, camouflaged mantids.



I'm gonna start calling my Super Sledge the Flyswatter.



Here we go.



The eternal question: stairs or elevator?



The elevator was broken, but after ripping a few wires out and having Jango shoot the circuitry with his laser, it works like new again.

Now let's head to the bottom level.



What.

The.

Fuck.



Jesus, was that a PERSON?



FUCKING VAGINA FLYTRAPS WHAT THE SHIT.



Oh hey, I leveled up. I am on a mission for SCIENCE.



Let's keep it simple.



Now to continue freaking the fuck out over plant zombies and sentient flytraps.



MOMMA'S HOME, BITCHES.



MOTHERFUCKING...



GET SOME!



Boone, are you EVEN helping.



Dr. Keely, I presume.



Not quite. She, uh... wait, what was her name? Angela? Yeah, she sent me.



That pompous pedant has a chin to fear, though.



Yeah, I don't think anyone's going to get much beneficial use out of plants that turn people into zombies.



Sure thing.



But I've got some business to deal with first.



SHIT. Server room is locked and I can't get in.



Yeah I'm pretty smart. And lucky.



Meet you there.



First I want to see what I can do about clearing this Vault out.



There's probably something poetic about nature running rampant through the sterile, technological marvel that is the Vault.



And then there were zombies.



HELLO, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE.



Wild Sentient Flytrap appears!

Queen of Spades used FUCKING FLAMETHROWER.



It was super effective!



Wild Plant Zombie appears!

Queen of Spades used FUCKING FLAMETHROWER.



It was super effective!



I am going to get so much mileage out of this thing.



AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, BURN BABY BURN!



I like my zombies WELL DONE.



You think I can't see you hiding in the weeds over there?



THINK AGAIN.



Oh god I wonder if there's more stuff to burn in the caves.



Let's find out.

Bah, I've already been in here.



Let's see what Keely has planned.



I began half an hour ago, where have you been?



I think I've probably burned most of them away, but...

Wait, you couldn't have told me about this sooner? Like, BEFORE I spent half an hour breathing in the Vault air?



HA, you couldn't have done it sooner than a few minutes ago, because otherwise I'd be dead.

You know, you really need to work on your communication skills.



I'm... pretty sure that's not how chemicals work, but whatever.



Incredibly dangerous and suicidal. Sounds like my kind of job.



Hm, I could use my flamethrower.



That would require me getting a little too close for comfort, though.



I've got an idea. First, I need to find some more enemies, because I am this close to getting better at something.



Thankfully, it's the exact skill I need. Unfortunately my lockpicking still isn't good enough to get into the Vault server room...



Unless of course I read this copy of Locksmith's Reader I've been saving.



Doors: 1 - Queen of Spades: a much higher number



Data GET.



Now let's blow this joint.



bodaciously, with a grenade.



With my finger on the door button so I can close it before this entire Vault becomes a thermobaric hell.



I hope there aren't any spores hanging out in this room.



Well, if there was anything left alive in here before, there definitely isn't now.



Done like dinner.



As long as I don't carry any to the outside world in my lungs, right?



Right, I, uh... I don't like where this is going.



So will it take a while?



Alright, I'm just gonna go and-



Yeah, that's nothing to worry about I'm sure.



Well, Dr. Chin said I was gonna get paid for bringing him the Vault data, so...



Right, so I'm just gonna go.



You're not fucking TOUCHING my Pip-Boy.

Deleting this data would be a shitty idea anyway.



The fuckups here were caused by ignorance. If you delete the data, then our present scientists will be just as unaware of the dangers of their work.



Science is as much about learning from mistakes as it is about learning from successes.

What's that bullshit quote from the lightbulb guy? Something about a thousand ways to not make one?



Now I get paid and I'm not a heartless greedy cunt. Everyone wins.



I'm out of here.



I'm out of here part two.



Man, I can't believe I spent all night in that twisted Vault.



Guess who I found.





Little spitfire, haha. Nice.



Thanks, now it's time for the real payday.



What's up, doc?



Dude, you are the master of understatement.

I got the Vault data.



By the way, that Vault was a fucking deathtrap and you're a shitty human being for sending me and countless others into it.



Fucking prick.







Seriously, watch it with that information. You didn't see what was in that Vault.



Yeah, okay, I believe you.



Suddenly I am filled with confidence.



Sigh.



Sometimes I really wish I could just fly away.

Dem chins

Says the deformed Rhyhorn with a chin to pierce the heavens.