AWKWARD ZOMBIE

You are the most beautiful baby in the maternity ward, and everyone takes your picture.
You develop an allergy to milk and have to be given special formula.
The doctors note that your breathing is a bit irregular and suggest special monitoring equipment to avoid serious problems.

You have just passed through INFANCY. A brief look at your life up to this time shows the following:

Your family life has been:
Positive and nurturing, and as a result, you have begun to form the critical bonds that are important during this phase of life.

Physically you have been:
Not a very healthy baby.

Socially, during this phase in life nothing much is really expected of you. After all, you're still much too young to throw a successful cocktail party, and frankly, anyone who still dribbles on herself probably wouldn't make the ideal dinner guest. However, by now there are some things you should have mastered. Your progress in this area shows:

You have been the type of child who charms the lollipops off people. You have been the type of child who is huggable and gets her cheeks pinched by old ladies with bright red lipstick.


Now, regarding your emotional and personality development...

What a trustworthy little lady you are turning out to be! On the one hand, your trustworthiness is a desired trait. On the other, I am curious about why you don't explore your environment a bit more and get into things a bit.

For instance, haven't you ever wondered what that zipper on the side of your mother's pillow is for? Well, then, UNZIP it!

Your Thoughtfulness characteristic really doesn't count for much in this phase of life. Most children often find themselves at the mercy of their whims and impulses. You are allowed to be cranky now. People will tolerate it much better than when you are a teen-ager. Then your whining and carrying on will seem more objectionable.

You are a gentle baby, one of those adorable little girls that learns to give kisses at an early age and knows how to "make nice." This helps you along socially now. Fifteen years or so from now, you are going to have to keep a closer tab on those hot lips, but for now anyone is fair game.

People will love you so much, they won't even mind when you leave them with all of those contagious childhood coughs and colds kids have a tendency to spread.

That wraps up your status for the very first years of life. I hope you like yourself. If not, you can always try to improve in the years to come. There's plenty of time.

The one thing I don't like about it is that the choices are somewhat obvious. Its obvious what you're meant to do to get the right stats, and its never played up as "you don't know what's going on".

Like the part about how a man in a car wants to talk to you about a police subject. Decide to run away, and... massive intellect boost. Why? Because that man was a child rapist and murderer. Did the scenario actually show any indications that he would be? Nope! Would it be a sign of intelligence to run away from a person talking about how the police need your help? Nada.

You seem to assume this is the sort of game that you are supposed to win.

The guy said he needed your help finding your friend (who was lost). If your friend was lost then who told him you were his friend?

You get smarter because you're supposed to know not to talk to strangers, no matter what they say.

No, I'm saying that the game assumes that the player wants to win, and insta-kills you if you try playing as if not to try be your best!


I didn't even notice he said 'your friend'. Nor is that a reason to instantly imply that he's a kidnapper.


But... that's a horrible lesson! You don't get anywhere in life, at any stage, without talking to strangers a lot! I know parents say it a lot to young children, but that doesn't stop it from being complete balderdash!