AWKWARD ZOMBIE

You didn't. It happens when you meet Rowan again in the next town. Just like in Diamond and Pearl, if I recall correctly.

No, don't nickname it.

Nicknames suck.

I stand by the fact that your starter should be named Duckmoose.

It's cool because it doesn't make sense.

Unlikely hero, out for adventure!



Hey wait, I don't have any McPants holding me back from finally doing what I want!


FREEEEEEEEDO-

SON OF A BITCH!


And thus, the plot goes back to the ol' "make your way to Rowan's lab" point. And just when I thought the introduction part was over.
Ah well, a man can dream. A man can dream...


With any luck, you'll get eaten by the long grass. Fo' reals this time!


What lake? I played with you? I still don't even know you!


What is this, an episode of Rugrats? Where adults fail, children shall succeed for no reason whatsoever!


Sounding a little gay there, Pantsy-boy!


But nah, I'm fed up of following you around blindly. I am going into this long grass and I am gonna catch me a god daisies Pokemon, and you better not try and stop me while saying-

GODDAM THIS PLOT!
File, we'll go to your bloody lake already and catch that red Gyarados or whatever.


Hm. Apparently Gyarados is a being of emotion. I would've thought it was a being of FUCK YOU UP.


No... we're still in a forest.

Whats that? Just walk through the trees?

YOU CAN WALK THROUGH FORESTS IN THIS GAME?! Now that is an improvement!


(one forest-walking moment later)


FORESHADOWING YEAH!


I would've thought "Chekov's Gun" would be a more suited name for you.


Man, that guy is so cool!


Man. This guy is not.


I read that. Its hard to actually hear in this game. Entire sentences seem to be spoken in a single 'beep' for some reason.


Look: when you enter an area, and Pokemon start crying straight away, its a sign.


Unless thats an invitation to take off my clothes, I think you might be referring to something else.

Although chances are that it's an invitation.


You want to poke what?!


You want to ask...
Professor Rowan...
To give you his balls...


McPants - officially gay. Of the worst kind.


No no, you need to off the mob boss first.


And then he was gone.

CELEBRATE!


Wow, I can actually enter long grass now! Bout bloody time!

Now to go see what it was thats so deadly that people are advised to steer completely clear of it.












...............yeah...


Don't ask me how it managed to take off just one single life point. I guess that's part of the mystery of the suckage that is Bidoof.


That would be very bad advice if the cities actually had more than a dozen people in them.


I SHALL PUT AN END TO ALL THAT IS BIDOOF!!


*insert Eye Of The Tiger music here*


Oh awesome! Its like a Pidgey!


Only not.



I know what I'm having for dinner tonight!


You're not doing a very good job if you're all the way out here!


Okay, pro tip at selling things: don't give them away for free!


Sandgem Town! Awesome!


Doesn't look much like a town though, considering it only has two houses.


...said the girl not wearing pants.


:awesome:


Man, these labs are never as hi-tech looking as they are in the movies.


OH GODS THE HORROR OF IT ALL!


He is totally out there, Dude!


Wow... only two lines... looks like the gods are finally having mercy on me!


Note: she said 'what', not 'who'. Even she doesn't think McPants is human!


What is it with people here always feeling the need to announce their actions multiple times? Its beginning to annoy me now.



NEXT TIME: Meet the scout! ...I mean Professor.

I think those white/grey patches are stone, not snow.

Oh, it is! I didn't notice that. Hmm.

Snow. Sinnoh in Platinum is colder than that of Diamond and Pearl, its part of the story (I think, I'm not clear on that). Hence the extra clothing on the main characters.

I could be wrong, but as for what I have searched, if you change the date on de DS clock to summer time, there is no snow at all.

Isn't summer starting... tomorrow?


Really, I don't know. Ireland has its own season times, where the 1st of May is the start of summer. But this isn't an Ireland-exclusive version.

Oh-
Forgot about that. Seasons are inverted for me.
Still, I've read in some places that if you change the date, the snow disappears. Again, I could be wrong.

Oh, and if you're wondering about the black bars on several of the 3D images, its a result of the way NO$GBA works.



Actually, its pretty hard. This ridiculously huge head I have makes it rather difficult to look at my body.


It was, dude!

Wait, what were you referring to?


Compared to your Pokemon, it must be the happiest thing alive!


I would wonder how you could've done it accidentally. I mean, what could've you meant by "Take a Pokemon out of my suitcase"?



Actually, I don't wanna know. (I think I needa vomit)


Hells yes I would!
Although I do wonder why I had to wait until you brought it up before I was able to name my Pokemon.


Point goes to Hector. Look it up if you don't know what it is.

Negative point goes to Crawfish for saying nicknaming Pokemon sucks!


Dude. Bidoofs. Not the greatest threat in the world.


I do NOT want to know what McPants did to get those PokeBalls!


Wait, this isn't like McPants' bond, is it? I don't want to feel pain everytime I make some sucker creature do battle for my entertainment!


No, sorry, McPants was the one who loves Pokemon that way.


Stereotypical girly girl ahoy! Whats next on our hollywood character list... "emotionless evil guy who loves computers"? Now where'd I find someone like that?


Hah, the way she says that makes it sound like she's working with the mafia too!


...


FUCK NO!




You mean the part where you give me the PokeBalls so I can finally go and start the adventure properly?


Nope, guess asking for plot advancement was just a bit too much.


Yes, we went over that in the dream sequence, remember? The one that you weren't actually there for? Geez man, keep up!


Gotta maim 'em all!


Like IMAGE! And FOOTPRINTS! Vitally important!


Although free stuff is always a good thing, so I'm not complaining.


WOOT!
Although I should probably wash my hands after touching it.


Its just red because of the paint... right?


A basic camera? No, that will never do, thats not NEARLY expensive enough!


How does it determine living habitats, footprints, and other random info from that anyway? I never figured that out.


Yes, that's right. He wants me to categorize every single type of creature on this entire continent! INCLUDING bugs!
C'mon man!


That's nothing, I got mine without having to resort to "favours".


A deep, seething hatred for Bidoofs everywhere!


...

This is all real speech, folks! You can't make this kinda stuff up!


Gee, thanks for sending me on the assignment then!


Wait, what? You mean I can actually go on with the game?


HOLY FUCK YES THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!


Aw, and so close to actually being able to play.

Really though Dawn, even McPants knew better than to pick a Turtwig!


Yes, I know. It was at the front of all your speeches, y'know.


What do you mean I shouldn't be able to see that?


And... other things.


Wait, pages? I thought the Pokedex was a digital thing. You mean its actually a book?


Those words will haunt my nightmares for ages!


...
Not. Making. It up.


And then she was gone, never to be seen again. I mean, until I walk out the building myself.



NEXT UPDATE: AN ACTUAL GAME!

So, Sinnoh is an island with snow?

You can tell they're getting desperate when they make a game that takes place in the Greenland of the Pokemon world.

Not exactly.


I think it is just an effect they've added in Platinum to match the seasons on the DS clock.



So, that's probably the reason why it is covered in snow when we are almost in Summer. I could be wrong again, since I don't know how the emulator clock works.

Can we fucking catch a pokemon yet?