AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Now to go find the second Regi! Which is... back in the mountain again...


Oh god...


Long story short: the Regi is right at the enterance to the cave... from the Snow Land side! Yeah. You can see why I'm going this way instead.


Aaaand once again nothing at all happens on Route 211. Fun.


I SURE AM PUTTING THIS CONTINENT-TOWING MEGABEAST TO USE!


LOOK AT THAT ROCK GO!


Ha ha hah! Oh Meditite, your willingness to go against a Level 70 Regigigas is amazing!


Ha ha hah! Oh Meditite, you do not know how much I despise you right now!


Have I mentioned that I REALLY FLIPPING HATE THIS MOUNTAIN?!

'Cuz I do.


But on the plus side, it's the one place in the game where you can catch the super-rare, ultra-powerful FEEBAS!


....on the downside, it is super-rare. It only appears on a random four tiles in this massive 612-tiles lake!

HAVE FUN TRYING TO CATCH ONE!

(protip: you're twice as likely to catch one in Gen3 than in Gen4)



Well that was wholely uneventful.


Apparently it only took 10 screenshots to get through the mountain.

TIME IS NOW MEASURED IN SCREENSHOTS, FYI!


This puzzle was really lame the first time. I don't know why on earth they thought it would be challenging done again.


Unlike Regirock, Regice seems to prefer Martial Arts!



Also, once again, I forgot to save before fighting the legendary. Whoops!


And once again, IT'S BATTLAN TI-



WELL FUCK!


(Superpower is a 120-power move. Superpower used by a Legendary is more than capable of BEING GOD-AWFULLY DESTRUCTIVE! ...fortunately, it also lowers Attack and Defence, so it keeps getting weaker every time.


Also, it doesn't work very well when you're asleep.


Silph Co must make BILLIONS out of how much I spend on Dusk Balls!



Wootinary R Us!


Math fact: that's -200 degrees Celsius. And yet it can't learn Sheer Cold. Apparently a flipping SPHEAL can make colder temperatures than this guy can!


Getit? Eh? EH? Because Regirock was called "A STATUE"?

I AM
SO

FUCKING

CLEVER!


Anyway, now to...



Oh...



Fuck.



See, my original plan was to go in that enterance really close to a city, make my way to Regice, and use an Escape Rope to get back to the city enterance instead of needing to bring Staravia along. That whole plan relied on me not being a fucking moron and walking out of the nearest exit. So now I can't take the easy route back and have to go through THE FUCKING SNOW ROUTES ALL OVER AGAIN!


I beat the fucking Pokemon League, you moron!


If this route has one thing going for it, it's Sneasel. Because these guys are just SO FUN to punch!

Sneasel/Weaville would probably make great Pokemon in actuality if not for the fact that they're extremely weak to FISTS!


...

God, I hate this route.


I really, really do.


I now hate it a tiny little bit less.


FREEEDOM! DELICIOUS, FREEZING FREEDOM!


Maaan would it ever suck if the PC system broke, or the electricity went.



Or Staravia died while at the top of a mountain.



Yeah...



..SO ANYWAY, REGI NUMBER 3!


AND FURTHER BOAT RIDES, WOO!


I still don't see why I can't just swim out here. I mean, it's not like my Pokemon get tired or anything, and there's no such thing as currents in this game!


Hey guys, are you in the mood for MORE GRAVELER?! CUZ I SURE HOPE SO!

If you accept the fact that just about every decent attack can and will one-shot Weavile, its weakness to fists doesn't seem so crippling.

It's easily my favorite pokemon. 12th highest speed in the whole game and more than enough attack to one-shot most things with a weakness to Ice, Dark, or Fighting, and it looks cool to boot.

So fucking clever.

I lost.

And now it is spontaneously daytime. Fancy that!


And now I am in a cave.


On reconsideration, I guess waiting until the day was a little pointless this time.


It has come to my attention that, on reconsideration, this game REALLY loves using railing-less elevators! No wonder babies are ridiculously rare!


Woop, no more trainer battles this time!


Come to think of it, I don't think there WILL be any more trainer battles left in this LetsPlay! ....huh.

I... feel so lonely now...


Buuut looks like the Commemorative Plates thing isn't quite done with. Ho hum.


"Or, at least, until you started keeping them for yourself. You jerk!"



Riley.
You're...

You're still there.

In that exact spot.



Oh RPGs, I will never tire of your rediculousness!


Wait, hang on, the last time you offered me an egg was AGES ago! You already have Pokemon in your party, so you can't use the Professor's excuse of "It needs company in the form of Pokeballs"! Does that mean that you got ANOTHER one?!


I'M AT THE END OF THE LETSPLAY, MOTHERFUCK! THAT POKEMON IS NOT SEEING SQUAT!


I...

I just called you a Motherfuck.

BE MORE ANGRY!


STOP BEING SO POLITE, YOU GODDAM MOTHERFUCK!



Anyway, just in case you think I was going soft by caring about that egg, this cave is what I'm REALLY after!


....even though I pretty much said that about five times now.

PRETEND THIS IS A REVELATION!


I have nothing more to say on this.


I NEED GWOGOBO! 61!


God, all the new legendaries look way too much like robots!


SSSSSS-

IT'S A LEVEL 55 VS A LEVEL 30!

WHY DO MY ATTACKS DO SO LITTLE DAMAGE TO IT?!





(Aeveral face-punchings later):

Y'know, I find something very odd about the fact that a golem made entirely of metal... needs to sleep.



COLLECTION COMPLETE!

It took 4 Dusk Balls, for those who're interested.


Wait, seriously? Tens of thousands of years? Spent under pressure undergound?

GEEZ! How the heck did it keep itself from going completely insane from boredom?!


This is as good a nickname as you'll get! Nothing can top the sheer wit of Regice's nickname!


NOTHING!


Aaaand the exit is right outside. Again.

Actually, that's been the case with all three Regis. Quite convenient, if you ask me!


Heey, here's a thought: why are the Regis so low-levelled in this game? I mean, I guess that it's meant to be so that they're not ridiculously levelled when you meet them, despite that you have a high-level Regigigas already if you activated the event, but... they're even lower levelled than the nearby wild Pokemon!


Welp, that's the last we need of this Regigigas!


NOW LET'S CATCH ANOTHER!


Also, did you ever notice that the eyes in the miniature Regirock sprite do NOT match its actual eyes?



NOW YOU CAN'T UNSEE!


...actually, I think I'll hatch the egg first.


I'M NOT GOING SOFT! IT MIGHT BE SOMETHING REALLY POWERFUL AND DEADLY!

LIKE AN ARCEUS!

It did hatch from an egg, y'know!


How many times have I come to this town now?



THESE GUYS!


THEY JUST!

KEEP TAUNTING ME!


AND THESE GUYS TOO! DEAR GOD, WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME SUFFER?!


AND I WAS SO CLOSE TO FINISHING THE LETSPLAY WITHOUT EVER SEEING ANOTHER ONE OF THEM!

I hate this place.


MEMORIES! OH THE MEMORIES!


IT'S HATCHING! ITS HAAATTCHINGGG!


IT'S A RIOLU!




Umm.... hang on... Riley's Lucario is male. It's his only Pokemon, and can't be found in the wild. ...How on earth did that Lucario manage to breed?!

Eh, it could just be with a Ditto.
Or, more likely, with Cynthia.


Umm... well it /could/ be all-powerful and deadly! Y'never know!

It does have demonic eyes, after all...


Anyway, back to SNOOWWWW!


And TEAM SWITCHINGGGG!


What, you don't think I was honestly going to do this with Gardevoir, did you?


Umm...

I AM THE CHOSEN!

CHOSEN BY MYSELF!


Oh. Er, apparently Candice is the one who gets to choose.


I was expecting something a bit more dramatic than that.


Aaaand now you know how a tiny city like this is able to avoid going completely bankrupt.

IT CATCHES RARE POKEMON FROM THE TEMPLE AND SELLS THEM ELSEWHERE! Didn't you ever wonder why there was such a huge dock for such a tiny city? THEY SELL IN BULK!

It's also where all those rare Safari Zone Pokemon come form.


This neither has snow in it nor are the columns pointy.

THE NAME LIED TO ME!!

Apparently, Pokemon are made entirely from some essence, some... ether, and travel to the far reaches of Sinnoh where they can take physical form.

IT IS NOW KNOWN THANKS TO YOU!

Did you just imply Cynthia had sexual intercourse with Lucario?

Well, that's awesome.

still proud of those names

WHY MUST YOU MOCK ME SO?!


Keep in mind that she gives you a Togepi egg earlier on.

Now take a look at the gender of her Togekiss.

Cynthia's breasts are a pair of ditto.

PLASMA



Y U DO DIS

BECAUSE YOU NEED A COPY EDITOR!

Last time on LetsPlay Pokemon Platinum:

This.



Calling it right now: that statue will turn into Regigigas!


Well, as much as one can "turn into" while still actually being there after catching the Pokemon.


RARE POKEMON MY booty!


Woop, ice cave! I always love these!

Pity that it's not a puzzle though.


Yawn, calcium.


See, it's even worse, since I'm already past the Battle Frontier. Those things sell vitamins for 1 Battle Point each!


Stiiill not a puzzle! This is just a long walkway that makes you wish you brought a Pokemon with Rock Smash!


THEEERE we go! This is more like it!


WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


AAAND there's no puzzle here either. LAAAME!

There's not even ice.


Ah, sorry. There's ONE square of ice!


Whose only purpose is to make you wish you brought a Pokemon with Strength too!

God, I hate HMs. I should totally do a LetsPlay on one of the Gamecube games next time, they don't mess around with this shit!


WHEEE ICE!

...

My hatred of snow levels only applies to the white stuff! Ice is a bro!


FFFFF- WHAT?

GIGAS, YOU'RE MEANT TO BE UP AT THE TOP, GODDAMNIT!



SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO "BEING SEALED AWAY"?


Wait, that's a statue?


God, compared to the first three, that is INCREDIBLY detailed!


Registeel out-spoke you!


It...

It's level one.












Y'know the worst part is?

That just makes it HARDER to catch, since the chance of catching it is dependant on percentage health remaining, which, at 1hp, will be a higher chance if the opponent has more max hp.


There's also the fact that it's practically worthless; both in regular play and competitive play! It can't even enter Little Cups because it doesn't evolve!


On the plus side, since I technically already have a Regigigas, it means I get to use the superior Repeat Ball over the Dusk Ball!


....and by "superior", I mean it looks cooler. It actually still has a lower catch rate.

Yeah, anything that's not a Dusk Ball is just ridiculous. Save for Heavy Balls in HG/SS, since they actually add a constant percentage to the catch rate instead of a multiplier, making it FAR better on heavy legendaries, especially as weakening them first is completely unrequired... and for the most part, entirely useless.


Aaaand Regigigas has an official piss-you-off-when-trying-to-catch-it move!

A LEVEL 1 POKEMON SHOULD NOT BE HARD TO CATCH GODDAM!



I... ran outta Repeat Balls. I really wasn't expecting a case where I'd need to use them, let alone more than 10 of them!


ABOUT! FLIPPING! TIME!


Truer words have never been spoken.

(there's no Pokedex data screen here because I already had a Regigigas, remember? That, and I'm a moron and forgot to actually take a pic of the in-Dex one!)


Aaaand that's another leggie caught! Now I only have... the Dragon Trio left to go!


Also, y'know what I've noticed? There really hasn't been a lot of wild Pokemon in here. So much for "you'll find lots of rare Pokemon!"



Also, I conclude that this is the worst ice-puzzle cave ever! I mean, in the whole cave (er, temple, apparently), there's only been two floors with i-


WELL ABOUT TIME!


Pity that A SNEASEL IS DEFINITELY NOT A RARE POKEMON!

TEMPLE, I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!


And now I can go o-
Wait, hang on...


What IS this "powerful" statue doing here anyway?!

I mean...


Ugh, I need to stop expecting this game to actually make sense!


I like how, after going into and out of this temple, the lady doesn't say anything to me at all. Heck, she doesn't even look at me!

Sacred temple my booty!




Also, methinks this isn't the last we'll see of Registeel!


Wait... err... shit, these guys are identical, aren't they?
There's probably some sort of time paradox involved here, or some ridiculously dangerous bullcrap like that!



...
Oh I'll just get Bill to do something about it! I HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS SHIT!


IT'S GIRATINA TIME, BI-

Wait, no, I nearly did it again.


FWOOP SPONTANEOUS LOCATION CHANGE!

I wonder how many times Staravia has had its back broken now? Flying with a fully-half-grown adult everywhere!


BALLS! I NEED MORE BALLS!

I /did/ just catch four legendaries in a row, y'know!



Also, spending ALL of my cheddar on Pokeballs probably wasn't such a good idea... when I'm only going to capture three more Pokemon!


IT'S GIRATINA TIME, BITCHES!!


Err...

IT WILL BE GIRATINA TIME, BITCHES!


...ONE OF THESE DAYS!


OH YOU FUCKING BIBARELS!


I SWEAR, I'M GOING TO FIND THE GUY WHO DECIDED THAT IT'D BE A SMART IDEA TO PUT BIDOOFS FUCKING EVERYWHERE...






And now I am in a cave.

FYI, this is actually the place that Cynthia was blocking earlier. Because she likes getting in the way, for some reason.


Good thing I actually do have a Defogging Pokemon this time!


I'm... not really sure why I still have NotSwellow with me, but I'm not complaining!


Okay, see, the thing about Turnback Cave is that in every room there's four exits, and you have to go through the right one. And... all the exits are completely identical, as far as I can tell. Iunno, apparently it's something to do with rock pattern or floor pattern or something.


Also, there's pillars, and every time you guess correctly you reach a pillar. That displays what pillar number it is... along with how many rooms you went through. I don't know how it keeps track, since it's a flipping pillar!

And you have to guess the correct room four times to proceed. Unless you go through more than 30 rooms. Then you get sent back to the start.


Just...


I have no idea how any of this even remotely makes sense...


But at least THERE'S HAUNTER!
CAVE, YOU ARE INSTANTLY FORGIVEN!


SUDDENLY, GIRATINA!

God, no wonder you hardly ever see it outside of the distortion world! I mean, the only two exits are:
A: across some messed up metaphysical cave full of fog.
B: through Mt. Cornet. Yeah, have fun with that one!


Giratina is so bishie!


...

I can't help but notice that, despite it being SO LONG AGO since I last met this guy, I'm only two levels higher than it.


Epilepsie would probably actually be a better choice here, simply because of the type immunity. Giratina is, after all, a GHOST DRAGON!
However, as we have already firmly established SEVERAL HUNDRED TIMES, Epilepsie sucks!


....although then again, he probably could've lasted for more than one turn...


Apparently being the physical personification of anti-matter and god of an entire dimension doesn't mean it doesn't need to sleep. Fancy that!



That waas SO much easier than last time!


Wait, why is our world the "old" world? I mean, if both worlds were made at the same time?



See, I could've made a joke about its nature, it's godliness, or its anti-matter-ness, but... just look at how fat that thing is! I mean gooddam!


Oh look, a hole leading to the dimension world. Fancy that.


LET'S JUMP IN!


(ps: above arts was created by KatieKarousel. Give her a visit!)

You were doing so well, too. Well, Scrubs is on, so I'm not even going to bother mocking you this time.

...

Okay, that one really WAS bad!