AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Tonight, a brave squad of AZenturers is about to begin a perilous journey of dungeon-crawling and world-saving, in the world of Avernum.



Previously, in General Game Gabbin'...

Our party is now ready to start its journey!









This is the beautifully-rendered dark and dusty world of Avernum. Leading the party is the mysterious-looking-yet-mostly-useless TheOtherMC, able to withstand many blows from potential foes. Right behind him is the powerful and ambitious Dimm, who is probably going to miss his attacks more than half of the time. Torizo, our natural mage, trained in both offensive and defencive magic, and, last but not least, the ninja, Zink, our professional lock-picker and rune-decrypting machine.

Our narrator is sadly inexperienced in storytelling and the English language, and shall therefore refrain from engaging in such grandiose speeches for the most part of this adventure.
The game has enough text inside it already.

What about the equipment, you ask?
Our party is all equipped with Stone Daggers, possibly the weakest weapon in the whole game, which deal 2 to 12 damage, minus 1.
Everybody except for Torizo is wearing Pants, which block 1 point of damage. Torizo and Zink are also wearing Cloaks, which block the same amount of damage. Everybody except for Torizo is wearing Poor Leather Armor, it blocks 1 to 4 points of damage. She's wearing a Robe which can only block up to 3. Everybody has Sandals, blocks 1 damage. They are also all wielding some kind of food (bread or mushrooms), and Torizo has a candle to light up dark places.

This is gonna be awesome.

my interest is piqued

Need not hit with axe to hurt many people.

When axe does hit, things die!

Too bad you disregarded accuracy to get more Strength!
I believe you have around a 40% chance of actually hitting something.

You act like not being strong is a bad thing.

Hey guys why are you hitpoints so low?

bunnytots:
It's true. I don't know how you'd define 'strong', though. Torizo is physically terribly weak. TheOtherMC is an awesome tank, I was just mocking his lack of strength.
I experimented a bit and tweaked your stats to get better accuracy, it hasn't changed much at all otherwise.
Now Dimm has a Stone Short Sword and a Wooden Buckler, though, since stats change the initial equipment.

I don't know how to explain it.

Whenever I first play a game, I have to go solid melee. I experiment later. I always start with my old standby.

More often than not this makes the game fairly terribly difficult. I'm looking at you, Dragon Age. Fuck you right in the booty, orzammar.

I usually go with melee too. It feels wrong without starting off with melee.

As I said in the General Game thread:

I look forward to this.

Note: Sometimes I will switch from a third person singular point of view to a first person plural one (like now), because I'm silly like that. Might change from a present tense to a future one as well.


Our friends do not hesitate for a split second; they immediately head down the hill to meet the strange-looking man.


Suddenly, the discussion menu pops up, startling the disoriented party. Avernum is visibly home to strange magic.
Of course, the group decides to pick the first option. Going back to the surface is unthinkable, why waste this opportunity to explore caves, dungeons and cities? What a silly thought, they pondered, chuckling to themselves.




It is obvious why this man is welcoming us, as we are the heroes who will overthrow the Orwellian government on the surface and save Avernum from a three-meter demon with nine horns.

One can always dream in an underground cavern network that's supposed to symbolize hell.



After which, the man proceeds to inform us about a certain Tor, somewhere South of here, who can give us supplies. There is also supposedly a man named Thairl, to the South-West, who might be able to help us find out what we are supposed to do.




Our heroes step further into the underground city, expecting to face deadly monsters around every corner, only to be greeted by a closed door.


"Oh." they all thought.




"Great." said Dimm, pushing TheOtherMC aside. He took control of the mouse cursor and selected the third option, drooling as he imagined his dream axe handed to him by a complete stranger.


Sadly, all he received was an Iron Sword, which isn't that bad, but still. Torizo, wise as always, judged that information was currently of the utmost important, and thus selected the second available option, because nobody cares about weapon maintenance.


Fortunately, there was a way to exit the conversation without asking this stupid question. Zink promptly clicked on "Done" with his ninja reflexes.
"Look," said Dimm, pointing out a disgusting-looking Steak and a Short Sword on the table. "Let's take those items and sell them to an shopkeeper!"

Sadly, the "NY" letter combination in the upper-right corner of each icon means that grabbing the items may not be the best idea, after all.

While we're at it, let's take a look at what Tor gave us.
We have 200 Gold, currently useless, a Potion to restore a certain amount of hit points, and an Iron Sword for Dimm (who gave his old one to TheOtherMC). Not too bad, for free stuff.


Next up, we meet Thairl, explore Fort Avernum further, and hopefully get out of this place on a meaningful quest full of blood and guts.
This thing is really time-consuming.

Christ Dimm. Not even 5 minutes in and youve already lost your pants. Im not going on this adventure if I have to stare at your junk all day.

Pants are for pussies, and grandpas.