AWKWARD ZOMBIE

More specifically, Lets Play Civ4 And Its Two Expansions!

So yes, I'm doing another LetsPlay! Of Civilization 4!
But this one's a bit of a twist. This one has TWO people doing it: me and Mond!
Say hi, Mond!

...

Mond can't speak in my posts.


Anyway, the way this is going to work is that we play the same match together, each taking our own screenshots, then decide how long each section will be (turn-wise, I mean). Once we've decided, we each do our own episode for that section, so that you end up getting both sides of the story! Neato, isn't it?



So what is this "Civilization" thing you speak of? I know a lot of you haven't heard of it. It's this thing that goes on outside. Yes, stuff actually happens that is NOT your computer!
GET OUT MORE!
...
Oh right, the game! Yeah, Civ4 is a turn-based strategy game where you... build... civilisation. Better than your opponents do. Umm... that's about it.
Also, it has nukes. Good ol' nukes!


Before we get started, I'd just like to cover the basics of Civ4. Firstly, everything revolves around planned cities! That's for simplicities sake, really.
Secondly, the game starts from 4,000BC (although it can be set to later) to 2,050AD. And uses real-world(mostly) buildings, tech, people, city names, etc.
Thirdly, there's six ways to win (although some of them can be disabled in game settings):

-Time Victory - this is where you're the civilisation with the highest score -at the end of the game. Simple as.
-Domination Victory - this is where you manage to control a hefty percentage of the world's populations and land mass!
-Conquest Victory - this is where you outright DESTROY the other civilisations!
-Cultural Victory - this is where you get three cities to Legendary culture status.
-Space Race Victory - this is where you launch a space shuttle and colonize Alpha Centauri. Which is also the name of the game this series spawned! This is generally the most common victory condition for the game.
-Diplomatic Victory - this is where you get VOTED as the outright winner of the game by the other empires, via UN! It's VERY hard to win this way normally, as keeping relations high enough with AI players is highly unlikely, and human players are just going to abstain unless they think they haven't got a chance of winning.


Also, a HUD explanation:

(no, that's not from the first game. That's actually from a previous match, that we used as practice but decided not to go with. It was too boring. That, and far too one-sided! In my favour, of course!)


The one other thing is Technology. I don't know about Mond, but I've mostly kept it more streamlined. If you are interested in keeping track of technology, Here's the Tech Tree in all its glory!



And if you have Civilization IV already, you're more than welcome to join in too, whether it's as a third LetsPlayer, or just an ordinary person in an online match! If you don't have Civ4, well... it's a really brilliant game that, despite its complexity, is actually rather simple to play! And you can get the Complete bundle for really cheap nowadays too!

Index:
Match 1: Plasma (Russian) - Mond (American)
 Episode 1: Plasma - Mond
 Episode 2: Plasma - Mond
 Episode 3: Plasma - Mond
 Episode 4: Plasma - Mond
 Episode 5: Plasma - Mond
 Episode 6: Plasma - Mond
 Episode 7: Plasma - Mond
 Final Episode: Plasma - Mond
 Bonus Episode: Mond

And now,

Hi!


In the next match, that is. Not this one.

With all that out of the way, let's go!

Meet Caveman Stalin! Known for his excellent leadership ability, his industrial nature, his several thousand years long life expectancy, and his spiffing, several-thousand-years-ahead-of-its-time attire!

I start off with Hunting and Mining because I'm smart enough to know how to hit animals with sticks and to dig holes.

Also, each empire has its own unique unit and building to it. You'll see them later.


Russia was always known for its massive armies! Consisting entirely of AN ENTIRE SCOUT UNIT!
Anyway, first off, I need to find a good place to build a city. That circle represents what the computer thinks would be an ideal location, but it's usually better to decide for yourself.


And yes, everyone IS 50 feet tall in this game! Try... try not to think about that...


...on the other hand, it was nice enough to help me. And it was a pretty shade of blue!

Also, NAMING CONVENTIONS WOOP!

No, I'm NOT starting off with Pallet Town! I did that before and it's really jarring when a city that, in game, only had four buildings ends up becoming the biggest city in the entire game!


My ally starts pretty far away. And if I were to guess, there's a large body of water between us there.
But "Amsterdam"? What kinda naming convention is that? Level names from Chips Challenge? Popular custom TF2 maps? I don't know why on earth he chose such an unfamiliar city name...

Ally? Oh right yes, I forgot to actually talk about the setup! For this match, we set up three teams: Red, Blue and Green.
Team Red consists of Me as Russians (dark red) and the Dutch (orange).
Team Blue consists of Mond as Americans (dark blue) and the Greek (light blue).
Team Green consists of the Ethiopians (dark green) and the Arabic (light green).

Me and Mond have a negative handicap (aka: we get the advantage) because we wanted the game to focus mainly on us two and not the AI.
And we're playing on a Standard-sized Fractal Cylindrical map, for those who already have Civ4.


CULTURAL EXPANSION!
Ah yes, each city has its own culture level (between 1 and 5), which constantly grows over time. Whenever you go up a level, the region's borders increase in size, giving you more land! And having more land increases growth, productivity, or commerce!
Also, it can give you access to special resources, like cows or horses or, as just above me, wine. Oh, and in that top right corner, if I expand again, I get STONE! I always wanted my own stone!

Also, that thing next to the stone is a village. Moving a unit onto it normally results in some bonus or other. Like gold or a map, or maybe a free unit, if you're lucky!


Oh... kay. There's a long narrow peninsula right next to my city region! It... sorta looks like a key!

Freud would have a field day with this!


I FOUND HORSES! And no Odds in sight!

Also, I found swine! More specifically, CAPITALIST SWINE! GET OUT OF HERE YOU AMERICANS!


Huh. It looks like my ally gets a continent all to himself.

Normally that'd be a good thing, but it's sorta on the small side. Hopefully it's large enough to accommodate him properly until he can sail away to NEW LANDS! Like America.

AND KILL THE INHABITANTS!


Behold, a worker! Workers are the guys that build roads and improve tiles with things like towns and farms! They're bloody critical in ensuring city growth!

Also, I just set the AI to handle improvements, so I'll probably never consider them again.


JESUS CHRIST ITS A LION! AND CARS HAVEN'T BEEN INVENTED YET!

Maybe if I'm quiet enough, I can sneak behind them without me noticing!


O...kay, I guess it actually worked! That... that's not how units are meant to work in this game!


Oh hey, dark blue territory. AMERICAN SOIL! Gawd, why do they have to be so close?

Oh yeah, I can't actually explore their territory until we allow open borders. And you can't do that until you go up sufficiently in tech. Don't ask why, considering they obviously have nothing stopping me, and I'm 50 FOOT TALL!


Also, scouts killed a pack of wolves! Kick-booty!


Today is a good day I think to explain how Civics work! Basically, these decide how your Empire is run. Each civic gives you a different ability (except for the basic starting ones), but also require different costs per turn.
And you unlock them by researching the corresponding technology. Yeah. You actually have to spend hundreds of years researching before you can understand how to keep slaves!

Also, I don't choose slavery. Because, not only is there one turn of anarchy in between civic changes whereby nothing gets built or researched, but Slavery also has a higher upkeep cost than Tribalism yet its ability (sacrifice population to hurry production) is rarely a good choice this early on in the game.

If anyone asks, I'm only doing it because I'm nice!


Man, a pack of panthers too? Those scouts are STRONG!


Say, did I mention units in this game have XP? It's notably hard to actually level them up by fighting, but there's a bunch of city buildings (most notably the barracks) that give them free XP when they're created.


I'd like to point out that city regions aren't meant to be disconnected.

In other words, Mond already got a second city.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-


Oh yeah, that blue stuff represents a city's region when zoomed out. Just FYI, because you'll see that a lot more later.


LIONS!
AND I HAVE NO DEFENCE!


Actually, why DON'T I have any defence?! That's normally something you're meant to build at the start, not several dozen turns later!
I really need to keep a better watch on what I'm doing...


The lions just... went away.

I don't know whether I should be feeling relieved or insulted.


Anyway, I made a second worker, and have now started on a Granary.
Granaries are pretty essential buildings in this game! Whenever your population level goes up a notch, the orange growth bar resets... unless you have a granary, whereby it starts off at 50% on level up! Makes city growth go a lot faster!

Oh, and on that matter, population level: they work in levels like culture (although usually going up to about 20 or so on a great city) but, unlike culture, they don't constantly grow. Rather, there's a limit on how much population a city can have, determined by how much Bread Icons you have. ...which also means that if your population somehow grows too large, it's gonna start shrinking from starvation!

And as a general rule, I'm against that.


LIONS!
AND AMERICANS!
I DON'T KNOW WHICH IS WORSE!

Wait...
What the HELL are they doing?! Look at those roads! LOOK AT THEM!
Instead of just going straight to the cow farm there... they instead take a detour INTO A RIVER, come out a bit later down the river, make a really wobbly road down to the cottage... and then proceed to go into a bunch of random loops that aren't even going anywhere! GOD they're stupid!


See? Mine are a whole lot better! Sure, they're not exactly straight, but it's hard to work when you're ridiculously tall!

Also, that there they're making is a winery! Because RUSSIA DEMANDS BOOZE!


Hey, maybe I was too hasty in judging their road-making skills. Because as it turns out, the other end of the road going out of the cottage is, in fact, going somewhere too.

INTO THE RIVER AGAIN!

And keep in mind, HE HASN'T EVEN DISCOVERED BOATS YET!



New theory: Mond is a fish.


The Greeks? They're Jewish now! Yeah.


Oh yeah, time to explain how religion works! See, there are 7 religions in this game. The religions themselves don't do anything outside of affect how other empires think of you (and since Team Blue is a human empire, that doesn't matter very much), but they do allow you to build holy buildings, which increase happiness and culture, and a... bigger holy building helps with research (trust me, it totally makes sense in context! Really!).


I also like how it's been 400 years yet I still haven't managed to finish building that Granary!


Those scouts...

I don't know whether I should be praising them for their COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF MANLINESS, or whether I should be berating them for destroying the ecosystem in the process.


Found the Greeks! ....goddamnit, they're on the same continent as their ally! Which would normally mean that they're more likely to be cramped, but that's on the same continent as ME! And they get to trade stuff.
S' unfair!


LIGHTHOUSE! It's one of those things that you really really need for a coastal city! Well okay, you don't REALLY need it, but it sure does help a lot!


THERE IS A FIGHT! ...sorta.


Yes, the scouts survived. That's, what, 5 kills now?


Hm. Tip: if an automated worker is standing around in a city, it means it hasn't got any jobs to do. I better get some cultural levellin' all up ins!


Bang on cue! It's now on Level 3, by the way. Level 4 takes quite a lot of time to get to though, and Level 5 is so hard that getting three of them wins you the game automatically!


Now that I have Writing researched, I'm able to propose Open Boarders with Team Blue. So now I can take a visit to... Sparta!

Ugh, it looks like everyone seems to have a second city now except me!


So I get crackin' with a new Settler!

I presume you all noticed that you build cities with Settlers, right?


Oh, and no, I don't know what it means when part of the construction bar is in orange.



Also, someone just built The Oracle, a World Wonder. Goddamnit, I wanted that!


Aaand here's Athens! I can't help but notice that they haven't made a whole lot of improvements here yet. It's actually really blank!


I'd also like to point out that Mond is nearly doubling my score now. Yeah, getting free stuff at the start is a HUGE help! My scout was stuck searching that peninsula, so I didn't get to visit any villages.


Oh hey lookie, the other side of the world is within map viewing distance! That means that I now know the exact size of the world! And about 1,200 years before they did in real life!

Doesn't give my ships a movement benefit though. That's only for those that PROPERLY circumnavigate the globe! Pish tosh, I still insist that my apparent Russian omnipotence qualifies too!

Meet George Washington. As you probably all know from your history lessons, he founded both America and modern democracy in 4,000 BC when he used all his might and wits to get together some random people and start a settlement somewhere in the woods. True story.

My starting technologies are fishing and agriculture, so I should have no problem finding enough food for my little empire-to-be.


I start out with a scout, who I'll send to go look for villages, and a settler to build my first city.
Also, notice how I already have the lowest score even though the game hasn't even started yet.


Much better! Building Zebes, my new capital, almost doubled my score and on top of that I also get a free scout from some village. Looks like we're off to a good start.


And another scout! He won't give me any huge advantages, considering all he does is run all over the place, but hey, free stuff.


And here's Greece, my ally! He seems to be pretty far away from me, but that's okay: The closer he is, the earlier we'll be in each other's way with building cities.


Time to build a worker. Workers build improvements in your cities' cultural borders (the blue lines around Zebes) and connect everything with roads. They're pretty much essential to city growth.
I'll take some time to explain technologies here: They're basically like skills your civilization acquires. You can only research one at a time, and there's almost always at least four or five to choose from. You'll need them all eventually, but if you research them in the wrong order, it can seriously mess up your progress.
For now, I'll stick with mining cause there's some iron right next to my city. Iron gives a pretty big boost to unit production especially early on.


Four turns have passed and I still haven't done anything useful. On the bright side, though, my cultural borders expanded so I now have access to three kinds of food: Rice, cows and clams. That is, once I finish this worker. And research the needed technologies. It's good to have dreams.
Also, someone founded Buddhism, which means they already finished researching mysticism and meditation!
I really need to get a move on!


I'm finding a lot of villages! One of them taught me how to build small wooden fences around animals, the other one gave me yet another scout. Gee, thanks guys.


And there's Plasma! That red line there represents his cultural borders. The rest of Russia is covered in eternal night. That's what communism does to you, kids.
I have also finished researching mining now and have moved on to masonry, which allows me to build quarries to make some use of that stone resource right next to my capital.
I also raid that village there, but they only give me some gold.


But right above Plasma, there's wine! Now that's something worth fighting for! Of course he'll probably build a city there any second now, but I'll try getting there first anyway.
Oh, and as you can see from that little world map in the lower right, Plasma, my ally and me are actually all on the same continent.


Wow, some villagers actually taught me something useful! Bronze working usually takes pretty long to research, and I just got it for free! Now I can also convert to slavery and sacrifice my people to finish production in my cities. That's what you get for making me your leader!


YESSSSSSSSS.
This is basically the best thing villages can do for you. A new settler for free, so I can build my second city already and double my production!


And yet another village gives me mysticism! Forget everything I said, I fucking love villages.
Now, off to found a proud new city! That place up there next to the copper looks good.
Notice the gems on the left. They make your people happier, so I'll have to get my hands on those later.


SHIT SHIT SHIT
Settlers are completely defenseless, so that pack of wolves there will tear them apart next turn! Unless, of course ...


... I build my new city right here! Wolves, unlike human barbarians, can't take over cities, so I should be safe for now. And since this place has access to fresh water, food and wood, it's a good location for a city, too!
My naming convention should be pretty obvious by now.


My workers have been done for a while now and have just started building a farm for those cows after building their first road. Progress!
Also, unlike Plasma I control my workers myself, instead of setting them to automated. I prefer having some control over what they do.


More progress! Crateria just finished producing a warrior, my first military unit. I'll use him to defend the city for now in case there's any barbarians around. See, to take over a city you gotta enter it while there's no military units in there. So you either kill them all first, or you just take it over before the city has any time to produce something to protect itself. And since the barbarians are constantly at war with everybody, they could've just taken over my whole empire with nothing to stop them.


Zebes is still completely defenseless, though, so I'm building a warrior there too. Meanwhile, my workers have finished the farm and Plasma's scouts come to visit. That's not a problem though, since we're not at war. Yet.


I was the first to successfully research Polytheism, which makes me the founder of Hinduism! And Crateria is its holy city now, I guess, as indicated by the small blue symbol (for Hinduism) with the little yellow star (to show that it was founded here) on it right above the cities name. I make Hinduism my state religion which results in one turn of anarchy but some small benefits after that.
Plasma is not pop flyin'.


I send out my new warriors to go kill some lions I saw sneaking around. Turns out my scouts are way faster, though.
Meanwhile, my workers are building what I guess is supposed to be a road, but looks more like a racetrack. Moving on.


And Crateria grew a little! I didn't actually get access to anything I didn't have yet this time, but maybe I'll get those horses over there soon. Or even on that copper! For now I should probably start by actually connecting the city to anything at all.


Meet Pericles! He's the leader of Greece and my ally, which means he'll give me anything I ask for. No, really. I can ask him for everything he produces every turn, and he'll happily give it to me.
So I will.


It's the civics screen! I'm now changing from paganism to organized religion because it'll make all cities to which Hinduism has been spread construct buildings 25% faster. Hooray for oppression!


I finished my first work boat and sent it out to go get me some clams. Meanwhile, me and my ally both finished researching Monotheism at the same time, but he gets to found Judaism.
Fine by me, I already have my own religion. And it's got more gods, too, so it's way better, right?
And as you can see, I am producing a settler. Expanding much and early on is very important for various reasons.
Here, I just want to get as much of the area and the resources as possible before Greece or Plasma claim them for themselves.


My work boat is now a fishing boat. Work boats are to the coast what workers are to the land, only that the workers don't die every time they build something.
And check out these scores! I'm really far ahead by now. Let's hope it stays that way.


Crateria, however, is still completely useless! But it looks like the next workers will be finished in a turn or two.


See? There they are. Now to make them connect my two cities, which will both increase productivity and decrease maintenance costs in both of them. I think.
Well, it's nice to have roads between your cities, isn't it? Thought so.


There's some lions there that could tear my workers to shreds in theory, but luckily I have some warriors to quickly get rid of them. Go violence against wildlife!


And my settler's done! He's already on his way to the south where he'll soon found my third city. Meanwhile, Zebes will produce The Oracle, a world wonder. There's a lot of them (way more than 7) and each one can only be built once in the entire match. If one civilization builds it, the others can't. They all add a lot of culture to the city they're built in and have some special effects.
For example, whoever builds The Oracle gets a free technology.
There's also national wonders than can only be built once per civilization, but those won't enter the game until a lot later.


And there it is, beautiful Brinstar! I build it there to get access to the spices you can see in its lower left corner, not knowing that I will actually need the calendar tech to get them.
Whoops.
For now, Brinstar is at least connected to Crateria, and is building some archers. They start out with a bonus for city defense, so they're a better choice than warriors once you can build them.


And Crateria expanded again! I can now get those gems to decorate my warriors' clubs with them or something.
However, these horses are still just out of my reach. Just you wait, horses. It's just a matter of time.


It's the trading screen for Plasma. For now, all we can do here is agree to open our borders, which we do. Later on, we will also be able to trade resources, cheddar and even technologies here.
Note how Plasma hasn't build any cities besides his capital yet. Capitalism 1, Communism 0!


Zebes' borders expanded, and all my cities are now connect-
Oh come on. That's not how you build roads!


I completed The Oracle and got a free technology! I'm not exactly sure what I chose anymore, but I think it was metal casting, since that one takes pretty long to research, so I'd save a lot of time like this.
For now, I'm working on my next wonder: The Great Wall! Apart from looking really cool once it's finished, it will also keep all barbarians away from my cities.
I don't think it works on communists, though, being from China and all that.


Now that Brinstar has an archer to defend it, I'll try and build another wonder there: Stonehenge! Stonehenge adds a free monument in every city, so it basically boosts your whole civilization's culture. Sweet, right?
And take a look at those scores! I have almost twice as many points as Plasma. This is going way better than I thought it would.

Go Mond!

Kick that old mans booty!

Hey Mond:


FUCK YOU! STONEHENGE IS MINE!


Also, my city seems to be suffering a case of unhappiness AND pollution. Hm, that's not good!


And now my ally builds a second city too. Geez, I'm always the last one to do things like this!


...by one turn. Yeah, I actually managed to build an entire World Wonder before I got my settler to an ideal location! That's what happens when you focus more on production than on culture or such!


Moai Statues are a type of National Wonder. They're... a bit different from World Wonders. See, with National Wonders, you're still only allowed to build one, but other Empires are still able to build it too! That, and you're only allowed to build two National Wonders per city, so it's all a matter of choosing the right Wonder as opposed to deciding whether or not it's worth building.

The Moai Statues in question add a +1 Production bonus to all water tiles in the city's region. That's a pretty definite choice for Celadon City!


Oh seriously? He's barely got the second city up and running and he's already made a third!


While it's generally a good idea to expand when you can, there's still the big ol' thing of overexpansion that you have to worry about! I sure hope he knows what he's doing!


...

Right. The thing about The Great Wall is that it gets built on the edge of the entire Empire's current border! Which is why it's really stupid that I CAN see the Wall, but CAN'T see the actual region itself! Ugh!


Aaand now I have access to rice! Woop!


Aaand the Dutch get their own Confucianism! Yeah, whenever a multi-Empire team founds a new religion, it's decided randomly which Empire gets the religion. Which can lead to some really bad cases where one of the empires gets three religions to himself while the other is still stuck with Paganism! And it's rather important you get at least one religion so you can implement a civic!


Aaand now the scouts have to worry about the fact that they just killed a man in cold blood!

Yeah, Barbarians get tougher as time passes. Starting from wolves, going to warriors, followed by axemen, etc etc. It's quite jarring when the barbarians get GUNS!


Oh now what the hell? I thought the Americans were bad, but look at this! I mean, alright, assuming for a minute that they DO have an abundance of ferries, it's downstream from the city to the mine - how on earth do they plan on getting that copper back up that?!


In more worker stupidity, my ally just made a Work Boat... despite that Work Boats can only be used to get access to sea resources! His ocean is completely devoid of any of that! What on earth is he planning on doing with it?


Oh hell! See that black region there? That means that a barbarian city has sprung up! Yeah, the thing about barbarians is that they bodaciously come from nowhere - if there's any fog of war, at all, a barbarian can spawn there!

Even if it's just one little square in the polar south, you can still be barraged by warriors!


Wait, what am I worrying about? This is Greek territory, I don't care what happens to them! Ahah!


Civic change! It's not much, since I have hardly any military units and I prefer to avoid using specialist civilians, but it's still better than the bonus-less basic civics!


And I get started on The Great Lighthouse world wonder! It gives +2 trade routes to all coastal cities. And to point out, I don't think there's anywhere I can build here that WOULDN'T be a coastal city!


....what IS that Work Boat doing? I guess he just built it to explore that continent there. Man, it must suck to be just a literal two spaces away from an entire continent!


OH HELL!


And oh yay, culture expansion!


My warrior manages to fend off the archer... using a wooden club! YEAH!


Yeah, city defences, as well as a fortification bonus for staying in the spot, gives a huge boost in battles! Unfortunately, that goes both ways, so it's gonna be hard to actually clear off those barbs!


Also, did I mention I built a third city? You think I would've mentioned that, wouldn't you?


Somebody builds the Pyramids. They unlock ALL Government Civics straight away, so they're really useful! Seriously, Universal Suffrage is a brilliant civic to get this early on in the game!


The Dutch just made a fourth city! Jeesus, so much for thinking that little continent would be big enough for their expansion!


Woo, a Great Prophet!

Alright, 'nother explanation: the game has five types of Great People: prophets, scientists, merchants, engineers, and artists. Each type has different abilities. For example, this one can join the city as a super specialist, giving a few bonuses to the city, it can build a holy wonder that gives major bonuses, but can only be built in a holy city, it can hurry a certain research, or it can start a golden age.


Since I don't have a holy city, I just go for the golden age - boosts production and commerce for all of my cities, as well as increasing the rate that I get a Great Person. For about 12 turns.


No, don't ask why they seem to transform into a ray of light. Just roll with it.


Aaaand then I get my own religion straight after. Goddamnit!


I send a missionary down to Celadon City to spread Taoism. The religion civics only work on cities that do have your state religion.


Also, I PREPARE TO INVADE! HAVE AT YE, GERMAN TRIBE!


It's customary for this game to include a zoomed in animation of the two attackers hitting each other with sticks.

Man, I feel like Godzilla here!


FFFFFFFFFFF- BARBARIANS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE THIS HARD TO KILL!


Awesome, I can make Swordsmen now! These guys are the strongest unit for city assaults, so this should be a whole lot easier!


Wait, wait, what the hell? Goddamnit Mond, stay on your own side of the world!

I briefly consider invading, but then I remember that I have no military! I really need to actually build up forces at some point!


ORGANISED RELIGION! I don't really care about spreading missionaries early, but it is handy for if you get a religion early on in the game. But the 25% production boost is a HUGE bonus, and is why you should really try get a religion as early as you can!


YAY, I finally killed that daisies archer! THIS CITY IS MINE FOR THE TAKING!


I have a choice of keeping the city or razing it to the ground. It's nearly always better to do the former.

Also, when you successfully invade, the city can lose a few buildings and population. And if it had too little to start with, sometimes you just end up destroying it without getting the choice of capturing it. It sucks when that happens.


I rip off Mond by appealing to his soft side. That's what he gets for not being a steel-hearted communist!


HE'S STEALING MY RELIGION! Yeah, religions don't have to spread via missionaries, they can also spread by just word of mouth!

Like I said, when it's not a state religion, the other religions don't matter at all, except for the extra buildings they give.


I return the favour!




Hrm, this LetsPlay should be starting to pick up now - the first few dozen turns are always the most boring, because there's not so much to do and there's no measure of conflict involved. That, and a lot of it so far was explanations.

Nonetheless, is anyone actually reading this? The only one to actually comment so far is Malum...

I feel special.

Honestly I'm only reading this because my friend says Civilization is addicting.

I'm reading this, but the way the page is currently stretched makes it kind of frustrating.

I just scroll down as fast as I can, and I pick up a few things about Civilization IV. I used to play this game but now I can't find Disk 2.

I resized my first picture. Plasma will take care of his tomorrow.
I'll probably post my part of episode 2 tomorrow, too.

Motherfucker.
Losing Stonehenge isn't that bad in itself, but I just wasted some precious turns and resources in Brinstar.
I guess I might as well make up for this by producing another settler.


Much better!
As you can see, the Great Wall runs along your current civilization's borders. It won't expand when my cultural borders will, but for now I am completely safe from barbarians because they can't climb over walls that don't even reach their chests.
And look, those horses are finally in my reach now, too!


Now to build one of my favorite wonders: The Pyramids! With access to all Government Civics, it's much easier to adapt to new situations. Like a sudden war, for example.


My new settler is finished and on his way. It would probably be a good idea to expand either to the north or to the south, too, but like this I can finally get my hands on some copper.


First things first, though: Norfair is outside the Great Wall, so it's defenseless against barbarians. This calls for some archers.


Notice how I've finally made those horses mine.
And still haven't started on building a mine for those gems yet. Oh well.


And another settler! Exciting!
Now to take Plasma's booze.
Oh, that old man with the glowing head right above Crateria? That's a Great Prophet.


With a movement speed of two, he's pretty fast for such an old man. Twice as fast as my warriors!
Which is probably also why he can construct the Kashi What's-its-name on his own in one turn. It's a building that can only be built in the Holy City of Hinduism.



Maridia! Looking back, this was a really stupid idea because at the time, I had almost no military units. For all I knew, Plasma could've just started a war and taken it over.
Luckily for me though, he can't even invade an empty city.


YES
Representation, here I come!


And Plasma converts to my religion. Not that that actually gives me any benefits.
On the contrary, I have to share my faith with the commies!
This would probably be the perfect time to start a holy war. Only that my entire military consists of a few half-naked men with clubs and some archers.


Like all communists, Plasma can't take care of his problems. So he gets some barbarians right next to his cultural borders. I think about sending a warrior or two over there to invade it, but there's nothing there that's worth the effort.
Not to mention a russian revolution might take place in that city a few turns after I take it, so I would've effectively earned Plasma a city.


And Plasma starts a Golden Age. Oh crap.
If there's anything you don't want your enemy right next to you to have, it's doubled production speed for at least 10 whole turns!
And I still haven't built a mine for those gems. Too busy producing even more settlers!


I finally finish researching the Calendar tech, with which I can build plantations for incense, spices and the like. They're great for keeping your people pop flyin' and healthy.


Maridia has been connected to the rest of the civilization and my workers are now constructing a winery. Hooray for booze!
I'm also training Horseback Riding so I can finally make some use of those horses.


See that man with the green glow around his head down there? That's a Great Scientist. I'll send him down to Maridia to construct an Academy.
Academies add some culture, which Maridia is in dire need of if I don't want it to be swallowed by Russia.


And there it is. Don't you feel smarter already?


Kind of hard to read here, but Plasma finally took care of those barbarians. Took him long enough.
Speaking of, it's been 117 turns, and I still haven't met the green team. Maybe I should start exploring the ocean.
Nah.


Heh, Plasma doesn't have a lot of stuff. I give him my three techs for Philosophy. It's an almost balanced deal if you go by research times. Still, probably a bad move.


A new city! It doesn't give me access to anything new, and even when it grows it'll mostly just cover the desert.
But at least it's my desert.


Plasma sends some scouts to see what I'm doing. Well, I'm building the Mausoleum of Maussollos, which will increase the length of all my Golden Ages by 50%.
Only he can't actually see that.


Besides, there's better ways to spy on people. By sending men in black dresses, for example.
Spies are pretty interesting: Your enemies can't see them, so you can take a look at their cities without their knowledge. What's more, they can also perform special missions in cities. For example, they can interfere with the current production, destroy buildings or even spread some of your own culture to that city.
Problem is, they can also fail, and then your victim will know that you spied on them. Well, we'll see.

Kinda reduntant, considering that Plasma could just read the LP and see that you've sent spies. Oh well.

Actually, we've already played out the match before starting the LetsPlay!



I probably should've mentioned that already.

Oh man this looks so fun and I want to help with the next one safasdfa

I should mention I love Civ.

Aaah you guys make me want to play Civ. But I'm beyond awful at Civ. I think I've won once.