AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I'm warning you now. Thar be creepycrawlies ahead. If that kind of creature makes your insides want to vacate the contents of your stomach, just so you have something slightly more pleasant to look at, turn back now. Thank you for your time.

Welcome, brave souls, to the world of FATE. I will be your deep voiced and faceless guide on this journey into the depths.

In a nutshell, the objective of this journey is to find the evil, fuck-all monster waiting deep in the dungeon and murder it in cold blood, all while gathering loot, weapons, and various other shiny objects.
Oh, and trying not to die. That's important too.

Eventually, you may become a mighty wizard, like this young gentleman.


But, you are not this young gentleman. You are a completely different douchebag.

This douchebag to be precise.

As the lack of name, distinguishing features, and lady parts might explain it is you, the reader's job to make this character who they are.

What is their name?
Will they be a boring human?
Will they be a cunning Shadow Elf?
Will they be another Orc?
Or Will they be a fucking robot?
And more importantly, will there be tits?

Klaxon Shardwind
Boring Human
Tits No

CHAPTER I: THE ADVENTURE BEGINS



And so...

You are Klaxon Silverwind. You killed his father. Prepare to-
Wait sorry, wrong adventure.
You are Klaxon Silverwind, aspiring adventurer. You along with your faithful Drone companion, Ken, arrive at the city of Grove, drawn by the tales of those who have entered the Dungeon before you.

Through some unexplained reasons, you have discovered that you must vanquish a great evil lurking on the 50th floor of the Dungeon. So, the only question remains is this; how will you begin your quest?

I remember this game being on my old computer as a demo. Wasn't too bad, but it was just a demo.

Blow all of your cheddar on the lucky enchanter.

You're currently too broke to enchant a rotten turd, so you decide to enter the dungeon.

Okay, for fuck's sake.. So apparently, my computer doesn't like getting dungeon pictures, but I did manage to stop before Leveling up
Nothing important happened, found a couple hand-axes, contemplating on becoming a lumberjack and being okay.



In short, this is all the stuff you can dump points into, and yes, you only get two skill points per level.
So, what shall we begin dumping these points into? The choices are yours and yours alone!

Put one of them into MAG, two into DEX, and two into VIT.

YOU ARE GOING TO BE A MAGE AND YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT

then 2 into Spell casting skill


Isn't this that cheap version of Diablo I/II?

You dump your precious skill points into the appropriate skills and stats, then resume your quest, which our faceless guide managed to get footage of this time...

After you murder this Ooze...

And so, after the slaughter of many.

Many...

Many.....

Many..........

Many dungeon inhabitants (who totally attacked you first), you stumble across an odd glowing anvil...


Will you tempt Fate?
Hell yeah! You'll tempt the shit outta Fate!
Said tempting earns you a Shortstaff of Greed, which gives a small boost to gold dropped from the poor, innocent-I mean-vicious creatures you have to defend yourself from daily.
Yeah...

Screw being a lumberjack, it's magic and robes for you.

After a long walk around for something to murder and/or a quest objective, you happen to level up again.

What'll it be, AZ? The choices are yours and yours alone!

All into Magic, and all into Attack Magic.

Also. Yes, this is that cheap Diablo clone, but I like it. It's got it's charms.